Hearts in Pain
by Tess84
Summary: AH. Bella Swan moves to the tiny town of Forks where she meets Edward Cullen, and the two fall in love. Their relationship is cut short when Edward moves from town - but he is leaving behind more than he could ever imagine...
1. 1 The New Kid in Town

**AN: This is my take on what could have happened if no supernatural forces had been at work in Forks.**** This chapter has not been beta'd, so any and all mistakes are mine. If anyone's interested in helping me out with the rest of the story, please send me an e-mail. I don't live in the US, so it would be good if you did, since there is a good chance I will get cultural stuff messed up!**

**Disclaimer: Anything and everything relating to the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing a little. **

**I hope you like it!**** It is my first attempt at Twilight, so don't be too tough on me.**

**1**** – The New Kid In Town**

My first day at Forks High School could probably have gotten off to a better start.

When I arrived at the school, which hadn't been hard to find – mostly due to the fact that you couldn't get lost in a town with 3000 inhabitants even if you tried – I of course attracted all the attention that I desperately wanted to avoid.

I blamed the truck. Not that I didn't like the ancient, at-some-point-red Chevy that Charlie, my dad, had bought me as a kind of 'welcome home present', but it was about as discreet as a 747. I parked in the first available space I could find and quickly turned the engine off.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the pavement in front of me, to avoid curious glances as well as the rain that was falling silently against the hood of my newly purchased parka, I went in search of the office. The room was empty except for a woman sitting behind a desk, sorting through a stack of papers. She looked up as I came in and gave me a welcoming smile. Her name plate read Mrs. Cope.

"Hi." I said, hoping that my intense unwillingness to be there didn't shine through. "I'm new here, my name's…"

"Isabella Swan, of course." Her smile grew wider. "Welcome! We've been waiting for you, dear, ever since your dad found out you were coming home."

Home… well, might as well get used to it. This was my home now. At least for the next year and a half, then I had every intention of relocating to somewhere a lot sunnier than the rainiest place in the US. God, I already missed Phoenix like crazy.

"I have everything you need right here, dear." Mrs. Cope placed an open folder on the desk between us. "Here's your schedule, your first class is English with Mr. Mason in building three, that's the second one you get to if you take a left right outside the doors here. I put a map in here too, the campus isn't very large, but it can be a bit confusing at first. And this is an attendance slip that all your teachers need to sign, and that I would like you to return to me at the end of the day."

I took a quick look at my schedule. English, Spanish, history and math before lunch, then biology, computer science and P.E. I groaned on the inside. Apparently Forks High valued physical activity, making P.E. mandatory during all four years. Great… just great.

"Thank you." I plastered a fake smile on my lips and shoved the folder into my bag. "I'll get the attendance slip back here by the end of the day."

"Excellent, dear." She kept beaming at me. My jaw was starting to hurt just from looking at her. "If you have any questions during the day, just drop in, I'll be here. Have a good first day!"

I mumbled a 'thank you' and quickly left the room.

Just as I was about to open the door to building three, I managed to trip on my own feet and stumbled to the ground. Granted, this wasn't anything unusual if you were me, but I had desperately hoped to not have to show off my clumsiness on my first day. To add insult to injury, my tattered copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ slid out of the bag and landed in the nearest puddle of water. Damn it! I knew that the book was practically falling to pieces, and I had another copy at home, but this was a paperback that I could carry with me – like my security blanket in a way. I angrily gathered the book and a few other things that had escaped my bag as I felt the heat rising in my cheeks.

"Here you go"

I looked up to see a gangly guy with greasy hair extending my wallet to me. I stood up and took it from him, trying to brush dirt from my knees.

"Thanks" I offered him a smile.

"No problem." He smiled back. "You're Isabella, right? I'm Eric."

I shook the hand he held out to me and automatically corrected him.

"Bella."

"Bella it is." He held the door open before walking behind me into the building. I followed his example and hung my jacket on a hook inside the door. "I guess we have English together then."

Thank you, Mr. States-the-obvious.

"What are we working on?" I wondered. Not that I enjoyed any part of moving to Forks so far, but starting a new school after the semester had already begun really sucked.

"_Jane Eyre._" Eric replied, sighing. "We're supposed to discuss the meaning of the insane wife."

I repressed a smile. _Jane Eyre_ was one of my favorites, and I had written a paper on the character of Bertha for my English class the previous semester. Maybe starting a new school would have its benefits after all.

After Mr. Mason had forced me to introduce myself to the class, securing himself a spot right at the bottom of my 'favorite teacher' list, I sat down next to Eric. We didn't have Spanish together, so he reluctantly left me in the company of Jessica, a very talkative girl, before heading off to his next class.

Both Mrs. Goff, the Spanish teacher, and Mr. Abrams, who taught history, simply signed my slip and showed me a seat, for which I was grateful. I spent most of their classes trying to pay attention as Jessica babbled on about some dance that was happening a few weeks later. Luckily – I was growing tired of her constant chatter – we didn't have math together, so I wandered off to find the correct building on my own.

As I stood in the middle of the path, twisting the map in my hands to try to figure out which way I was supposed to go, I was approached by a shy looking girl.

"Hi, you're Isabella, right?" She blushed a little.

"Bella." I replied automatically. "Hi."

"I'm Angela." She smiled. "You looked a little lost, so I thought I'd see if you needed a hand."

"Actually, I do." I studied the map again, frowning. "I can't seem to find building five."

"Oh, it's right over there." She pointed to a building on the other side of the lawn. "I'm going there too."

Grateful, I walked with her. She asked me a few questions on the way, about where I used to live and my old school. She seemed very nice, not asking because she was simply curious of the new girl, but because she was actually interested.

Math was just as difficult and boring in Forks as it had been in Phoenix, and the fact that I had to stand in front of the class and introduce myself didn't exactly make it any better. But eventually, the class ended and I walked to the cafeteria with Angela. We both got our food and found a table in one of the corners of the room, immediately being joined by a group of people. I recognized most of them from my classes, but so far I only knew Jessica and Eric by name. A blonde guy sat down next to me, smiling from ear to ear.

"I'm Mike, you must be Isabella."

"Bella." I sighed quietly. Maybe I should make a sign and wear it around my neck…

"Sorry, Bella." He grinned even wider. "I think we have Biology together after lunch, can I walk you to class?"

I frowned.

"How do you know what classes I have?"

"It's all about connections." He smiled mischievously.

"Yeah right." Eric rolled his eyes at him. "I told him in math."

"So can I?" Mike looked at me hopefully, ignoring Eric completely.

"Sure." I didn't want to make enemies on my first day here.

"Great!" To my relief, he turned to Eric and started discussing basketball, and I happily ignored the conversation.

Jessica, Angela and another girl whose name I didn't remember started talking about the dance again. Apparently, it was going to be a Sadie Hawkins dance. As I chewed on my apple and tried to keep up with what they were saying, I got the feeling that I was being watched. I looked up, and suddenly stared into the greenest eyes I had ever seen. I felt a tingle down my spine as our eyes met, and for a split second my brain stopped working. When he saw that I noticed him watching me, the guy quickly looked away.

He was sitting at a table across the room from ours, along with four other people, two guys and two girls. I watched as he said something to the tiny girl with black hair sitting to his right, and quickly averted my eyes to my tray as she looked up at me. When I was sure she had stopped watching me, I looked up again. The three guys were now discussing something, and the girls were bent over a magazine of some kind on the table. Before I could look away, the green eyes met mine again, and he gave me a small, crooked smile. I blushed as I tried to smile back before forcing myself to focus on the girls at my table.

"…think that we should definitely go to Port Angeles to buy dresses" Jessica finished as I rejoined the conversation. "They're bound to have a lot more than that hole-in-the-wall they call a dress shop in town."

"Definitely." The girl whose name I didn't remember said, nodding. "And we should go pretty soon, or all the good dresses will be gone."

"Angela?" I said quietly. She looked over at me. "Who are they?" I nodded at the table where the guy with the green eyes was sitting. It was Jessica who answered.

"That's the Cullens and Hales." She half-whispered. "The blonde guy is Jasper Hale, and the girl with the swim suit calendar body is Rosalie, his sister. The big guy's Emmett Cullen, he's Rosalie's boyfriend. Alice Cullen, the tiny girl with black hair, is Jasper's girlfriend, and the guy with the bronze hair is Edward Cullen." She indicated the green-eyed guy with her chin. Luckily, his attention was still on his brother and friend, so he didn't notice.

"I think I remember the blonde girl from when I spent the summers here." I said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, Rose and Jasper have lived here their whole lives." Jessica confirmed. "The Cullens just moved here a year and a half ago, though. They used to live in LA." She shook her head, as if she couldn't imagine how anyone would prefer Forks to Los Angeles. Actually, neither could I.

"How old are they?" I asked.

"Jasper, Rose and Emmet are seniors and Edward and Alice are juniors like us." Jessica replied. "I think Edward and Alice are twins, but I'm not sure. But all three of them are adopted." She said the last part as if it was some kind of scandal.

"Well, duh!" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Doctor and Mrs. Cullen aren't old enough to have kids in high school. What are they, like thirty?"

"Something like that." Jessica nodded. "I heard that Doctor Cullen is really their uncle, and that he and his wife adopted them when their parents died."

I understood that not much happened in Forks, if the kids could still find it interesting to discuss whether or not the newcomers were adopted after a year and a half. I desperately hoped that I would slip out of their conversations a lot faster.

"And they all live together!" Jessica added. "A couple of months ago, Mrs. Hale just up and left, and doctor Cullen took in Jasper and Rosalie as foster kids. It's just… freaky!"

I shot a glance over at the guy, Edward. A bit of an odd name, very old fashioned. But somehow it suited him. As I looked over, he and the others left their table and walked out of the cafeteria.

"Don't even bother." Jessica huffed, apparently having noticed me looking at him. "He doesn't date."

"He had a girlfriend in LA who broke his heart." Lauren added.

"You just think that because he wouldn't go out with you!" Jessica smiled evilly, and Lauren blushed.

"Something must have happened, why else would he not have shown an interest in anyone since he moved here?" She replied haughtily.

"Whatever!" Jessica took her tray and threw her trash in the bin before leaving the cafeteria. I looked at my watch and realized it was almost time for class, so when Angela also stood up, I followed her. We had made it halfway to the science building when Mike caught up with us. I had completely forgotten that I had promised him he could walk me to class.

"So, how are you liking Forks so far?" He asked, trying to put his arm around my shoulders. I quickly shrugged it off.

"It's wet and cold." I replied dryly. "Not much to like."

"Right, you're from Arizona, I forgot. Not a lot of rain there."

"Nothing compared to this place." I looked up at the grey sky. "Does the sun ever shine in January?"

"Not a lot." Angela admitted. "But the summers can still be pretty nice."

"Plus, you get snow!" Mike practically glowed as he mentioned it. "Snowball fights!"

"I think I prefer the rain, thank you." We had gotten to the classroom by then, and took our jackets off.

As Mike and Angela went to their respective seats, I walked up to the teacher's desk and handed him my attendance slip.

"Welcome." He signed the paper and gave it back to me. "I'm Mr. Banner, the biology teacher. Here's your book, and if there's anything you're having trouble keeping up with just let me know." He quickly scanned the classroom. "The seat next to Edward is free, so why don't you sit there?"

I turned around and followed Mr. Banner's eyes to where Edward Cullen was sitting alone at a desk at the back of the classroom. He was rummaging through his bag, putting the biology book down on the table in front of him. He didn't notice me staring.

I started walking down the aisle, moving my eyes to look at the table in front of him to avoid staring at him in an obvious way. Of course, since I didn't pay attention to where I was putting my feet, I tripped on someone's bag and fell forward. Luckily, I was close enough to our table so that I didn't tumble to the ground, but instead ended up sprawled half-way across the wooden surface. A blush quickly spread on my face. Twice in one day. Not a personal record, but embarrassing enough.

"Are you OK?" I looked up and found those amazing green eyes looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I got to my feet. "And the klutz of the year award goes to…" He laughed quietly, and I managed to pull off a small smile.

"I guess we're lab partners then." He acknowledged as I rounded the table and took my seat.

"Looks like." I nodded, putting the book Mr. Banner had given me down on the table before retrieving my notebook and a pen from my bag.

"I'm Edward."

"Bella." I said, returning the smile. The first one who hadn't called me Isabella… progress.

"I remember too well what it's like to be the new kid in school, so I won't bother you with the standard questions." He continued, and I felt a wave of gratitude.

"Thanks. All day, it's been 'oh, what's Phoenix like?' 'Do you like Forks?' 'What was your old school like?'. It gets old pretty fast."

"Tell me about it." He nodded.

"So, I guess I'm not the only one missing the sun?" I said, before realizing that I probably shouldn't know where he used to live. I blushed instantly.

"I see the gossip queens got to you." He half chuckled.

"Sorry." I apologized.

"It's OK." He frowned for a moment. "I guess I do miss the sun at times. But Forks grows on you." I raised an eyebrow at that, and he chuckled again. "It does."

"I'll take your word for it." At that moment, Mr. Banner decided to start the class.

Since I had taken an advanced biology course in Phoenix, I was already familiar with the subject we were covering. I decided that it was probably best if I took notes, anyway. Every now and then, I felt Edward's eyes on me, but every time I looked up, he was watching the teacher intently.

As the class ended, Edward waited for me to gather my things in my bag before accompanying me out of the classroom. Luckily, Mike was discussing something with his lab partner and didn't notice us pass him.

"So how come you're in Forks?" He asked as we walked out of the room. "If you hate the rain so much."

"I thought it was time to live with my dad for a while." I replied evasively.

"But your mom still lives in Phoenix?"

"She's actually on the road with Phil, her new husband at the moment." I answered.

"Is he a rock star or something?" He wondered in an amused tone.

"Baseball player."

"Aha." He was quiet for a moment. "So that's why you moved here? So she could go with him."

I stopped and looked up at him. How could he read me so easily?

"I guess." We started walking again. "She was staying home with me, but I knew it was making her unhappy to be away from him, so I thought I'd make her decision a little easier."

"That's extremely unselfish of you." He noted.

"I figured I could survive a year and a half in Forks."

"Unless you drown." He joked, and I laughed.

"Well, there is that." We had left the science building now and he paused on the pathway.

"What do you have next?"

"Computer science and then P.E." I replied, having memorized my schedule.

"I've got Spanish, but my sister Alice is in your computer class." He pointed at a building next to the cafeteria. "It's in that building over there."

"Thanks." I smiled at him gratefully.

"And I'll see you in P.E." He winked at me before turning and heading in the opposite direction.

I stood frozen for a moment, then sighed and headed in the direction he had pointed out. Great. Not only would I be making a complete fool of myself in P.E., but _he_ would be there to see me do it. Mike had already told me we would be playing volleyball. Wonderful. Just what my day needed – me released among my fellow class mates with a deadly volleyball.

As I walked into the computer classroom, I desperately tried to figure out a way to get out of P.E. I didn't have a habit of cutting class, and I was definitely not about to start on the first day at a new school – but maybe I could make an exception just this once... The good-girl part of me quickly disregarded that idea. I would just have to try to stay out of the way of the ball, my team mates and the net… and try to avoid tripping over my own feet. Or at least try not to drag anyone down with me when I fell.

"Hi, I'm Alice!" A cheery voice interrupted my negative musings, and I looked up at the tiny, black haired girl from the cafeteria.

"Bella." I greeted her with a half-smile.

"I know." She laughed. "You're all everyone's been talking about ever since school started up again. It's nice not to be the center of attention for a change."

"Right, you just moved here a year and a half ago or something?"

"Yeah." She leaned closer to me and looked around as if to check that nobody was within hearing distance. When she spoke again, it was almost a whisper. "But to these people you're practically an outcast until the third generation or something."

"I can imagine." I shivered a little. I would probably never be accepted in this place.

"But don't worry." Alice continued. "You're practically a local anyway, your dad being from Forks and everything."

"Right." I wasn't so sure that a triviality like that mattered to the good people of Forks.

"Anyway, I thought you might appreciate a little help with settling in here. You know, where to get the best take-out, where to shop – not anywhere in town – and stuff like that."

"Thanks." I felt a wave of gratitude towards her. "Everyone's been really nice to me so far, but it feels like they're just doing it to be able to brag to their friends about hanging out with the new girl."

"I know, we got the same treatment when we moved here too." She assured me. "Don't worry, it passes. Not for a while, but eventually they get tired and move on to something else."

"Good to know." I sighed. There was nothing that I hated more than to be at the center of attention.

We took our seats as the teacher entered the room. The class wasn't very challenging; we had already covered this in Phoenix.

As the bell rang and we left the classroom, Alice grabbed my schedule.

"Great, we have P.E. next together. My brother's in that class too." She directed our steps towards the gym.

"I know, he told me."

She gave me a peculiar look.

"He did, did he?"

"We had Bio together earlier." I explained.

"OK." There was something in the tone of her voice that I couldn't quite place. "Right, here we are."

We walked into the gym and I spotted a few guys warming up with a volleyball. I winced.

"What's wrong?"

"I just… my hand-eye coordination isn't what it should be."

"Don't worry." She encouraged as we walked into the girls' locker room to change. "You'll be fine."

"It's not me I'm worried about." I mumbled quietly.

When we had finished changing, Alice dragged me out of the locker room and across the gym to where Edward was standing, talking to a couple of guys. He looked up and smiled at us.

"I hope you've taken good care of our newest addition, Alice?"

"Of course I have, we're taking the grand tour this weekend." She said, beaming.

"Uh, guys?" I interrupted. "I have been here before, I don't actually need the grand tour. Plus, the town's only that big. I don't think there's even room for a grand tour."

"Oh, I'm not talking about Forks." Alice giggled. "We're going to Port Angeles. I need to get a dress for the dance, anyway, and I'm betting you'll want to get out of town by then."

She wasn't wrong about that.

Before Alice had a chance to elaborate on our plans for the coming weekend, coach Clapp blew his whistle and motioned for us to gather around him. He let us form our own teams, and Alice, Edward and I were joined by Eric, Jessica and Mike, who was glaring at Edward. I frowned at that. I hoped I hadn't gotten an admirer. Or, more accurately, I hoped I hadn't gotten an admirer in _Mike_.

The hour actually passed without too much humiliation. I kept away from the ball as much as I could, and, when I couldn't, only focused on not hitting anyone in the head with it. I, of course, managed to trip over my own feet a few times, but amazingly enough, Edward always managed to catch me before I hit the ground. Every time his hands closed around my arms to steady me, I felt the tingle from the cafeteria, only multiplied about a hundred times or so. I wasn't sure if he felt it too, but he had an intense expression in his eyes every time he looked at me.

When the bell rang for the last time that day, Edward and Alice walked with me to the parking lot. When we got there, I spotted their older brother and the Hales standing a few spaces away from my truck, by a silver Volvo.

"So that was you then." Edward noted, as he saw me approaching the truck. I glared at him.

"Not a bad word about my truck." He chuckled at my defensive attitude.

"Just pointing out that you know how to make an entrance." He smiled that crooked smile I had already gotten used to. "Not what I would choose if I wanted to blend in."

"Well, not everyone can afford shiny, new Volvos." I muttered. He only laughed at that.

"See you tomorrow." He walked off towards the Volvo with Alice in tow.

"Bye." Alice called over her shoulder. "Don't forget about this weekend!"

"I won't. Bye." I called back before getting into the truck and starting the engine. I winced at the sound. It really was loud. To try to drown out the noise of the engine, I turned the stereo as loud as I could and let David Gray's _Be mine_ guide me home.

xxxxx

I was just putting dinner on the table as Charlie came home. We both sat down at the table and ate in silence for a moment.

"So, how was your first day?" He wondered after a while.

"All in all, OK actually." I replied. I had, after all, survived without any major injuries. Being me, that was an accomplishment.

"Did you make any friends?"

"A few." I didn't count all the attention seeking people who had just wanted to share my fifteen minutes of fame.

"Anyone in particular?" He inquired, and I sighed.

"I had math with Angela Weber, and then I sat with her and her friends at lunch. She seems really nice." I hesitated for a moment. "And I talked some with Alice Cullen and her brother Edward."

"Doctor Cullen's kids." Charlie nodded. "I haven't had anything to do with them in person, they're well-behaved kids, but their dad has sure been an asset to this community."

"Alice actually asked if I wanted to go to Port Angeles with her on Saturday." I took his positive attitude towards Dr. Cullen as confirmation that his kids were suitable company.

"That should be fun for you." Charlie encouraged. "It's supposed to be quite nice on Saturday too, and I was thinking about going fishing with Billy."

"Great." I smiled. "We both have plans then."

"I'm glad you're settling in, Bella." He said as I started clearing the table. "I know you're not the biggest fan of Forks, but if you just give it a chance I think you'll learn to like it here."

I nodded as he left the room, and realized that it wasn't just to avoid hurting his feelings. I was actually beginning to enjoy it here. As I pondered that, a flash of green swept through my mind, and I sighed. This could not end well.

**AN: So, what did you think? Don't hesitate to let me know.**


	2. 2 Crush

**AN: Well, here's chapter two for you. ****Thanks to jerseyhalliwell and Legolas' Girls 31 for your reviews – they made my day! **

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. **

**2**** – Crush **

My second day at Forks High started better than the first one. Only half the students that filled the parking lot when I arrived at the school looked up at the sound of my truck, and even less bothered to linger to get a look at the new girl. A sigh of relief escaped me. Maybe I wouldn't be the center of attention for too long.

As I slammed the door to the truck shut behind me, I spotted Alice across the lot, waving at me. I waved back and started making my way over to her, but halfway there I was ambushed by Jessica. Great.

"Hi Bella." She greeted merrily, and looped her arm in mine. "Did you have a good first day in Forks? You disappeared so fast after P.E. that I didn't get a chance to talk to you, but I was wondering if you wanted to go with me and Angela and Lauren to Port Angeles next weekend. We're getting dresses for the Sadie Hawkins dance, and I thought you might want to go with us. I mean, the dance is still a month and a half away, but there's really nowhere in town to get a decent dress, and we would…"

"Jessica!" Since she didn't seem to be planning to pause any time soon, I interrupted her. "I'm not even sure I'm going to the dance. Never mind the fact that I have two left feet, the whole 'girl asking boy' has never been my thing."

"Oh." Jessica frowned. "But you still have plenty of time to change your mind. And, I mean, come on. Every guy here would be happy to go with you." I thought I detected a carefully hidden tone of resentment in her voice.

"Maybe, but anyway, I already have plans next weekend." OK, that was technically a lie… at the moment. I could _make_ plans to get away from hanging out with Jessica and Lauren. "Thanks for asking though."

"Oh, no problem. See you in Spanish." She waved as she walked away from me, and I waved back halfheartedly.

Before I had a chance to enjoy my freedom, Mike took Jessica's place beside me and threw an arm around my shoulders. I had forgotten that we had English together first period, since Eric had claimed all my attention the previous day. I discreetly slipped away from him – I didn't want to offend him, but I definitely had no intention of encouraging this crush or whatever it was that was going on. He shot me a disappointed look, but didn't say anything.

"So you survived your first day in Forks." He noted, grinning.

"Well, obviously." I replied dryly. "Though it was touch and go there for a while during the volleyball game."

"I noticed that." He chuckled. "You're not the most coordinated person around, are you?"

"Understatement of the century." I laughed with him. I had long ago stopped being offended when people called me clumsy. It was better to just laugh with them. "I have actually put people in the hospital."

"Other than yourself, you mean?"

"Oh yeah." I winced as I remembered when we had gotten a new P.E. teacher in Phoenix. I had explained my… situation to him, but he just wouldn't listen. After fifteen minutes of tennis, my team mate had ended up in the ER with a concussion and a bump the size of an orange on her forehead. "I won't go into any details, but it involved a tennis racket."

"Ouch." Mike groaned. "I'll be sure to keep away from you when we move on to sports including weapons, then."

"Good decision."

We had gotten to the English classroom at this point, and I let Mike lead me to a desk halfway to the back. He did seem nice enough, if I could just discourage whatever crush he thought he had on me – no doubt induced by the novelty and nothing else – he might make a good friend.

Eric glared at us as we sat down, and I suddenly realized that I might have more than Mike's crush to worry about. What was it with these guys? I had never attracted any attention in Phoenix.

We were still discussing _Jane Eyre_, and the period went by quickly. Mike insisted on walking me to my next class, where I was met by Jessica. She looked after Mike as he left to head to math.

"So, Mike seems to like you." She noted, and I again heard the faintest hint of resentment in her voice. So that's what was going on. She had a thing for Mike and didn't like that he was paying more attention to me than to her.

"He does?" I shrugged.

"You should ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance." She suggested, apparently encouraged by the fact that I didn't seem to have noticed his interest.

"I don't think so." I frowned. "I mean, he's nice and all, but… we're just friends."

"Oh." She seemed relieved by this. As Mrs. Goff entered the room, I could see Jessica's eyes narrow as something occurred to her. "So… is there anyone else that you're, you know, interested in?"

A flash of green quickly swept through my mind, and I blushed involuntarily.

"No! I mean, come on, I only got here yesterday."

I could tell that she didn't buy it, but apparently decided not to push.

"OK."

xxxxx

I was relieved when history was over, and Jessica headed off for her English class – all her chattering was giving me a headache. I met Angela outside the building, and we walked to our math class together.

"How's your second day so far?" She asked.

"Definitely better." I replied. "I haven't tripped yet, so that's a definite step up." She laughed with me. I should have known I was pushing my luck simply by saying it.

As the hour ticked away, and lunch approached, I felt butterflies taking up residence in my stomach. I was pretty sure that Alice had every intention of being my friend, but would _he_ still want to talk to me? Or had the attention yesterday just been because I was new? Lauren had said that he hadn't been interested in anyone since they had moved here, how could I think that I would cause a different reaction?

Angela seemed to notice my mood change, but she didn't pry as we walked to the cafeteria. I was beginning to like her more and more.

Luckily, our class had run a little late, and neither Mike nor Jessica were waiting for us outside the cafeteria. We got in line to get our food, and I focused my eyes on the floor in front of me, desperately trying to avoid looking over at _his_ table. After a minute, Angela nudged me.

"I think Alice is trying to get your attention." She mumbled, and I looked up. Sure enough, Alice was waving like crazy, and when she saw me looking she motioned for us to join them.

"Is it OK if we sit with them?" I quickly asked Angela.

"Sure, I don't mind." She shrugged.

I nodded to Alice, pointing at the register to say that we were just going to pay for our food first, and she gave me the thumbs up. I couldn't keep myself from glancing over at Edward quickly before turning back to Angela. He was talking to Emmett, who was sitting across the table from him, and didn't notice me looking. My stomach plummeted a little.

This was not good. I had only been here for a few days, and I was already crushing on a guy way out of my league. I had let myself believe that he paid attention to me because he was somehow interested, when in reality he was just being nice, or maybe curious about the new girl. I really had to get over this stupid infatuation thing before I made an even bigger fool of myself. I pushed my tray towards the register, and felt the butterflies crash-land in my stomach. Angela nudged me again.

"Edward's looking at you." She half-whispered, so that the kids surrounding us couldn't hear. I felt the butterflies flap faintly again, and turned to check her statement. My eyes met his green ones, and again a tingle crept down my spine. He smiled, and I think I managed to do the same.

"That's 3 dollars 45, honey." I snapped my attention to the lady behind the register, and fumbled with my money. When I had paid, I waited for Angela to do the same before we started making our way across the cafeteria. I saw Mike and Jessica gesturing for us to join them out of the corner of my eye, but didn't look over at the table we had sat at the previous day.

I was sure that Alice had been sitting next to Edward when she had waved at me earlier, but when we got to the table, she was sitting on Jasper's other side, leaving a seat free between him and Edward.

"Hi Angela." Alice greeted, motioning for Angela to come sit next to her, leaving me to sit by Edward. "You know everyone, right?" Angela nodded.

"Hi guys." Everyone greeted her back.

I put my tray on the table and sat down, glancing at Edward and smiling nervously. He returned the smile.

"Bella, this is my brother Emmett." Alice introduced, and Emmett gave me a wide grin. "And this is Jazz and Rose." They both smiled at me too.

"I hope we didn't steal you away from your friends." Edward said, looking over at the table where Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Eric and some other kids were sitting. Mike and Eric looked disappointed, Jessica seemed rather pleased, and Lauren had a resentful look on her face.

"Oh, no, it's a relief, really." I replied.

"Jess already nag a hole in your head?" Emmett asked in a booming voice, and everyone laughed.

"I am actually starting to wonder if she's ever quiet." I admitted.

"She's not." Angela replied, and I gave her a surprised look. She seemed far too nice to complain about her friends. "I mean, come on. It's like she's being paid a penny a word or something."

"If that were the case, she would be the richest person in the western hemisphere." Jasper chuckled.

"And Mike's puppy look?" Alice giggled. "You must be pleased to get away from that for a while."

I shot a glance at Edward as she said that, and saw that his eyes narrowed at the mentioning of Mike. I wanted to think that it bugged him that another guy was showing an interest in me, but was afraid to assume anything.

"That's what he reminds me off." I realized. "Our neighbor in Phoenix had this golden retriever, and the dog used to have that exact look."

"He used to follow me around like that, making puppy eyes." Rosalie shuddered, and leaned into Emmett. "Thank God you put a stop to that."

"Happy to oblige." He chuckled. "No guy is going to be putting the moves on _my_ girl."

"I hope you haven't forgotten our plans for Saturday." Alice reminded me. "I've got it all planned."

"Of course I haven't." I assured her. "I'm really looking forward to it. Charlie's going fishing, so I would have been left to fend for myself if it wasn't for you." I took a bite of my pizza slice.

"Excellent." Alice beamed. "Wear comfortable shoes, there will be walking, and I hope you have money to spend." She turned to Angela. "Do you want to go with us? We're going to Port Angeles."

"That would have been fun, but I'm watching my brothers on Saturday." Angela replied. "My parents are going to some anniversary party in Seattle or something."

"Maybe next time." Alice suggested, and Angela happily agreed.

"What's on the agenda then?" Edward wondered.

"Just your average shopping trip." Alice said, shrugging. "I really need to get some new jeans, and these shoes are practically falling apart." She contemplated her red Converse sneakers, which looked perfectly fine to me.

"I should probably warn you." Edward turned to me. "Alice is a very… enthusiastic shopper."

"That was nicely put, bro." Emmett chuckled. "Insane is another way of expressing it."

"Just because I don't have the fashion sense of a raccoon." Alice stuck out her tongue at him, and he quickly threw a fry at her, which she managed to duck at the last second. "Don't listen to them, they're guys, what do they know about shopping anyway?"

I nodded and managed to pull off a smile, but was actually starting to worry. Not that I didn't like shopping, but I had spent whole days tagging along with Renée when she was on the hunt, and it wasn't really my style. A couple of stores, sure – preferably at least one containing books. I tried to convince myself that you couldn't spend too much time shopping in a town with less than 20 000 inhabitants, but I was starting to suspect that when it came to Alice, you never knew.

"Anyway, it's not like it's LA, or even Seattle." Alice continued, as if she had read my mind. "There is only that much to do in Port Angeles. We'll do some shopping, have lunch and maybe catch an early movie before heading home."

"That sounds great, Alice." I smiled genuinely at her.

"Oh, and do you think Charlie'll stay away all day?"

"Probably." It had been a while since I had spent a summer in Forks, but from what I could remember, Charlie would keep fishing until it was too dark to see your hand in front of you. "Why?"

"I wanted to invite you for dinner after our little road trip." She replied. "You really have to try my mom's chicken cacciatore, it's absolutely amazing."

"That sounds great." I accepted, grateful that I wouldn't have to spend Saturday night doing laundry like a complete loser. I would get that over with on Friday.

"Well, time to go, bell's about to ring." Emmett noted, and everyone got up to leave.

Angela, Edward and I walked together towards the science building. I spotted Mike a bit ahead of us, but he didn't stop to wait for us. Instead he kept glancing at us over his shoulder, a frown on his face. Oh well.

"What did you mean when you said that Alice is 'enthusiastic' when it comes to shopping?" I asked Edward.

"It's not really that bad." He replied, chuckling. "She is a complete fashion freak, and loves dressing the rest of us up in what she thinks we should wear. Set her free in LA or New York with an unlimited budget, and you probably won't see her for a week. But Port Angeles isn't exactly the fashion capital of the US, and I doubt even Alice will be able to keep going all day. If you get tired, just tell her so."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I do need to get some stuff, and I would really like to find a bookstore. There should be one, right?"

"There's a great one on East First Street, ask Alice to show you." Angela contributed.

"Then my day is saved. I can put up with pretty much anything as long as I get a little quality time with some books." It was only partially meant as a joke.

Biology went by quickly; we were doing a lab that I had already done in Phoenix. Edward and I finished long before any other teams, and spent the rest of the period discussing the advantages of snow versus rain, since fluffy, white snowflakes had started falling outside the window. I came out strongly in favor of rain; even if I hated the wet, snowballs seemed much worse. Edward argued for snow, starting to prepare to ambush Emmett and Jasper after school. I quickly decided that I would linger for a while after P.E., to avoid getting hit in the chaos that would most likely ensue when everyone left the school grounds. I wasn't in a hurry to get home, anyway.

Like the day before, we walked together out of the science building before going our separate ways.

"See you in Gym." He called as I headed towards the computer class.

"I'll be the one ducking." I called back, and got a chuckle in return.

xxxxx

But I didn't even make it to P.E. As Alice and I approached the building after our computer class had ended, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell backwards, instinctively reaching out to ease the fall. And I felt something snap.

"Bella? Are you OK?" Alice asked in a distressed tone and crouched down next to me. Pain was starting to spread up my left arm, originating in my wrist.

"I don't think so." I mumbled faintly. She looked around for someone who could help.

"Edward!" She called, and I spotted him walking towards us. When he saw me on the ground, he hurried to our sides.

"What happened?" He asked worriedly.

"Ice." I replied quietly. The pain was intensifying, and I bit my lip.

"I think your wrist's broken." Edward said after inspecting it closely. "Does it hurt?"

I only managed to nod. And then I made the mistake of looking at my arm. It didn't look like my hand was attached to my arm by bones anymore, and at the sight I promptly fainted.

xxxxx

When I started to come to, I felt completely disoriented and my head was spinning. I was afraid to open my eyes, in case I fainted again, so I tried to get a feel of the situation with my eyes closed. I was definitely moving, but it felt almost like… flying? I wasn't walking, was I? Nope, legs not moving. The spinning in my head ceased a little, and I decided to risk it. When I opened my eyes, I met Edward's, worry evident in their depths. And I realized why it felt like I was flying. He was carrying me.

"Put me down." I tried to order, but the words were barely audible.

"No. I'm taking you to the nurse."

"I can walk." I insisted, a little louder. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're barely conscious." He replied. "I'm not going to put you down so you can fall and break something else."

"I won't, I promise. Just put me down."

"We're already here, anyway." He walked through the door to the main office, and I saw Alice holding it open. She looked just as worried as he did.

"Oh my, what's happened here?" Mrs. Cope wondered as we entered the front room. Edward kept walking towards the nurse's office, Alice hurrying ahead of us to open the door.

"She slipped on some ice and fell." Alice informed Mrs. Cope. "We think her wrist's broken."

"Oh dear." But we were already in the nurse's office, and Alice closed the door behind us. Finally, Edward put me down on the narrow cot that stood against one wall. He and Alice stepped back to give the nurse room.

"Oh, yes, this is definitely broken." The nurse said after only a look at my wrist. "There's not much I can do here, really. She'll need to go to the hospital. Do you need me to call an ambulance, or can you drive her there?"

"We'll take her, but since she fainted I thought we'd better stop by here first." Edward explained.

"Oh, of course." The nurse looked at my pale face for a moment. "Are you feeling dizzy now, dear?"

"Only a little." I replied, which was true. If I could only avoid looking at my arm again, I should be fine. But the pain was starting to come back, and it seemed like it had brought along some friends.

"Alright. Why don't you lie down for a moment while I get you some orange juice, just in case." She left the room, and I obediently lay back on the cot.

"This really isn't necessary." I complained. I would much rather get to the hospital where all the nice drugs lived.

"Bella, you fainted." Edward reminded me.

"It was just because I looked at… it." I tried to explain.

"Not surprising." Alice said. "It looks horrible."

"Thank you." I said dryly.

"It'll be fine." Edward assured me. "We'll take you to the hospital and Carlisle will fix you right up."

"Great." I moaned. "I'm going to have to wear a cast, aren't i?"

"Most likely." Alice nodded. "Don't tell me you've never had one before." I glared at her. "Sorry."

"It could have been worse." Edward tried to comfort me.

"You're right." I agreed sarcastically. "I could have actually made it to P.E., maimed some innocent bystander with the volleyball and _then_ fallen and broken my wrist. Thank you so much for putting it in perspective for me."

"At least you'll get out of Gym for a while now." Alice noted.

"Wow." I smiled. "A silver lining." The smile quickly disappeared as the searing pain reached a new level. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward's voice seemed to come from somewhere far away.

"Oh dear, that wrist must be quite painful by now." The nurse had come back into the room. "Here you go, have a sip of this and then your friends can take you to the hospital." She put a paper cup in my right hand, and I brought it to my lips, gulping the juice down quickly. It didn't do anything to ease the pain, but at least my head felt a little clearer. I opened my eyes and shakily got to my feat. Edward was immediately by my side, his arm around my waist.

"Come on." He guided me to the door, and Alice walked in front of us out of the office and to the parking lot. Edward was helping me into the passenger seat of the Volvo when I spotted my truck across the lot.

"My car."

Alice rummaged through my school bag, which I only now noticed that she had in her hands, and found the car key. She gave me the bag.

"I'll drive the others home and then Jazz can follow me to your place and we'll leave the truck there." She said. "I don't need to go with you to the hospital anyway."

"You don't have to do that, Alice, I can get the truck later." I tried to protest.

"Well, my only means of transportation is about to leave, so I actually need your truck." She gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll leave it at your house with the keys in the ignition. Nobody would want to steal it anyway."

"OK." I agreed, not even up to arguing with her about insulting my truck. She closed the passenger door, and waved as we drove away.

Within a few minutes we were at the hospital. Edward parked and quickly came around to open my door and help me out. I wasn't feeling faint anymore, but the pain was making me a little dizzy. When he put his arm around my waist again, I gratefully leaned into him and let him lead me into the hospital.

"Hi Edward. Are you here to see your dad?" A middle-aged woman standing behind the desk in the reception area asked as we entered the building.

"Yeah, but I brought some work for him." The woman looked over at me. "I think her wrist's broken, Carlisle will know what to do."

"That looks painful. Do you need a wheelchair, or can you walk?" She looked at me like she was afraid I'd faint on the spot.

"I think I can walk." I said, though the wheelchair did sound like the safer alternative.

"Come on." Edward pulled me with him through a set of double doors into what seemed to be the emergency room. There were only a few other people in there, none with what appeared to be fatal injuries. "Wait here." I sat down on the bed he had indicated, and he disappeared through another set of doors. A few minutes later, he reemerged, followed by a handsome, blonde man in his mid-thirties.

"Hi, Bella." He extended his hand to me, and I shook it. "I'm Doctor Cullen, as I'm sure you've figured out." He pulled up a stool and sat down. "Can I look at your wrist? I'll try not to cause anymore pain."

I lifted my left arm, which had been resting in my lap, and winced at the pain. He gently examined the wrist, and then placed it back in my lap. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward hovering behind his father.

"What happened?" Doctor Cullen asked.

"I slipped on some ice and fell backwards." He nodded.

"It's definitely broken. We'll have to get an x-ray to see if the fracture's simple or if we'll need to operate." Doctor Cullen waved a nurse over.

"Operate?" I said faintly.

"Only if there are several fractures." He explained. "It looks like a simple break, but we need to be sure. Are you in much pain?"

"Yeah."

"I'll just give you something for that before we take care of the x-rays then." The nurse handed him a syringe, and I looked away. I wanted the drugs, but if I looked at the injections I would undoubtedly faint again.

"All done." I looked back to see him handing the syringe back to the nurse. "Will you take Miss Swan to radiology, please?"

As I stood to follow the nurse, Edward reclaimed his previous position next to me.

"Dad?" Doctor Cullen looked up at him.

"Why don't you go with Bella." Doctor Cullen suggested. "I'll call Chief Swan and let him know she's here." Edward nodded and we made our way out into a hallway.

We had to wait in a couple of plastic chairs outside the radiology for a few minutes, but compared to what I remembered from when I broke my leg in Phoenix when I was nine, this was a walk in the park.

"Benefit of a small town." I mumbled, a little groggy since the pain killers had started to kick in, and Edward looked curiously at me. "When I broke my leg a couple of years ago, we had to wait for hours in the emergency room."

"Why am I not surprised?" He said, shaking his head. "What did you do?"

"Fell out of a tree." He chuckled.

"I'm starting to wonder how you've managed to stay alive as long as you have." I glared at him. "I just mean that you seem to be very prone to accidents."

I sighed. I couldn't really argue with him, but it was still a little humiliating.

"Miss Swan?" A radiology nurse came into the hallway, and we stood up. "I'm sorry, Edward, but you'll have to wait out here."

Did he know everyone in this place?

It only took ten minutes to take the x-rays, and then Edward led me down the hall to a small cafeteria. I leaned against him a little heavier than before, the drugs taking away most of the pain in my wrist but also affecting my already limited sense of balance.

"Carlisle will find us when the x-rays are finished." Edward said, pulling a chair out for me at one of the tables. "I'm going to get something to drink." He went to the register and came back with two Cokes.

"I'm not really thirsty."

"You need the sugar." He insisted, unscrewing the cork of one of the bottles before handing it to me. "You still look very pale."

"I'm always pale." I countered.

"Paler, then." He amended. "And that's saying something."

I didn't have the energy to argue, so I took a few sips.

"So, do you hang out here a lot?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Not really." He replied.

"Everyone seems to know you." I pointed out.

"Carlisle has had everyone over for dinner at one time or another. Esme loves entertaining guests."

"That's nice."

Before we had time to find another subject of conversation, Charlie burst into the cafeteria.

"Bella? There you are." He rushed to my side. "What happened?" He glared at Edward as if he somehow was the cause of this.

"I slipped on some ice. I'm fine, really." I tried to reassure him.

"That hand doesn't look fine to me." He frowned. "Did they x-ray you? Because that looks broken."

"It probably is." Edward slipped into the conversation. "But Carlisle thinks that it's only a simple fracture, so she'll probably just need to wear a cast for a few weeks."

"_Just_ wear a cast?" Charlie said angrily.

"If it had been a more complicated fracture, they would have had to operate." Edward explained.

At that moment, Doctor Cullen came into the cafeteria.

"Chief Swan, good to see you." They shook hands. "It's a shame it's under these circumstances." He gave me an amused look. "You've only been here a few days, and we've already managed to break you."

"I don't really need any help in that department." I mumbled quietly, my cheeks turning red. I heard Edward chuckle softly across the table from me.

"You always have been quite accident prone." Charlie noted.

"Well, then, I am happy to say that you will get off with only a cast today." Doctor Cullen said. "The fracture is simple, and the bones should heal fine without surgery. We'll need to keep an eye on them, of course, but I don't think you'll have any problems."

"Great." I sighed in relief.

"Let's just go to one of the treatment rooms, I'll put the cast on and then your dad can take you home."

xxxxx

The cast in place, Edward walked with us to the parking lot. He stood back as Charlie helped me into the police cruiser, but seemed ready to step in if something went wrong. As we drove away, I could see him standing by his car, watching us until we were out of sight.

We stopped at the pharmacy on the way, to pick up some more pain killers that Doctor Cullen had prescribed for me. It wasn't late when we got home, but I felt exhausted. Charlie made me a sandwich which I devoured gratefully, not having eaten since lunch. Then I took two of the little white pills and went to bed. I fell asleep almost immediately, and dreamed of flying with a green-eyed angel.


	3. 3 Ambushed

**AN: Again, thanks to my (two) reviewers! ****I hope you like this chapter; we are getting closer to the 'good' stuff! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine… absolutely nothing.**

**3**** – Ambushed**

The rest of the school week went by quickly, and everyone was being excessively helpful. Since Charlie didn't trust me to drive myself safely to school with only one hand – neither did I, honestly – he took me in the police cruiser every day before he went to work. When he dropped me off the day after the accident, Mike, Eric, Jessica, Angela, and, for some reason, Lauren, were waiting for me in the parking lot. Mike offered to take my bag, but I assured him that I was perfectly capable of carrying it myself. I was more worried about getting from class to class with my books later. This didn't seem to discourage him, however, and he and the others tagged along as I walked towards the school.

When we got to my locker, I found Alice and Edward waiting for me. I noticed that Mike didn't seem to like this, since he glared at Edward, and I gave him a big smile that made Mike glare even more.

"Hi." I greeted.

"Hi, sweetie, how's your arm?" Alice gave me a careful hug.

"It might be broken, but I'm not made of glass." I told her, returning the hug more forcefully with my good arm.

"Right." She giggled.

"Did you sleep alright?" Edward wondered. "Are the painkillers working OK?"

"Yeah, they knocked me right out when I got home last night." I told him, and he seemed relieved.

"Come on, Bella, we have to get to class." Mike said curtly. "I'll carry your books." I glared at him.

"Why don't you go ahead with Eric, Mike?" I suggested dryly. "I'll catch up with you."

He glared at Edward once more before trudging off towards English, Eric and Lauren in tow.

"See you in Spanish." Jessica said before she and Angela left too.

"You shouldn't have done that." Alice sing-songed as I stuffed my bag in my locker and started trying to gather the stuff I needed for English. "Now he's going to be pissed at you all day."

"So?" I said a little irritably since the books weren't cooperating. "They were totally smothering me. I'm not some kind of invalid."

"I'll get that." Edward offered, grabbing the book that was eluding me in the locker. He gathered the things before holding them out for me so I could carry them on my right arm. "Need anything else?"

"Nope, I'm all good, thanks."

They walked me all the way to English before heading in the direction of their own math class.

Alice had, however, been wrong about Mike being mad at me all day. After English, he helped me gather my things and walked me half-way to Spanish, where Jessica took over. It was a bit like being baby-sat, but I tried to remember that they wanted to be helpful.

As Angela and I walked from math towards the cafeteria for lunch, she asked me what had happened the previous day, and I told her everything, including Edward taking me to the hospital.

"That was very nice of him." She commented, and I thought I heard an underlying meaning in her voice.

"Yeah, he's a very helpful person." I said.

"Are you sure that's…" She started saying, but at that point, we both spotted the object of our discussion leaning against the wall outside the cafeteria. He smiled when he saw us, and quickly took my books from me.

This routine continued all week, and before I knew it, it was Friday night. Mine and Alice's shopping trip to Port Angeles was still on, despite Charlie wanting us to postpone it until my cast was off. I had told him that I needed a diversion to take my mind off my damaged wrist for a while, and since Doctor Cullen had said that it was fine he really didn't have a case.

I spent the evening doing some much needed laundry, talking to my mom and checking out new CD-releases on Amazon. Nothing interesting, but I still hadn't gotten the latest Three Doors Down album, so that was on the shopping list for the next day.

It was already past ten by the time I had finished the last load of laundry so I decided that I might as well go to bed. Alice was picking me up at nine, so we could get an early start. I read a few chapters in _Wuthering Heights_ before turning the lights off and then drifted into a dream filled with windy moors and tree branches scratching against my window.

xxxxx

The next morning I was awoken by the sun shining in through my window for the first time since I had moved to Forks. It was a little after eight, so the sun was still low in the sky, but it was definitely there. The unexpected sunlight improved my already good mood, and I skipped down the stairs after having showered and gotten dressed.

Charlie was standing at the kitchen counter, waiting for the toaster to return his slices of bread. He looked up when he saw me, and chuckled when he noticed the big smile on my face.

"Excited about the shopping trip then." He concluded.

"And the weather is nice." I added, getting a bowl from one of the cupboards and pouring cereal and milk into it.

"I told you it would be, didn't I?" He put some butter on the toast and joined me at the table.

"Sunshine in Forks is not something I'm going to believe until I see it for myself."

He chuckled at that.

"It's still pretty cold out, though, and it might be a bit icy on the roads." He warned me. "I know the snow's gone, but tell Alice to drive carefully anyway."

"We'll be careful." I promised.

xxxxx

I had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard Alice honking outside. I quickly grabbed my purse and threw on my coat before leaving the house.

I expected to see her in the Volvo, but instead there was a violently turquoise Mini Cooper parked on the driveway. Alice waved at me from the driver's seat, and I got into the passenger seat.

"Nice car." I admired as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Birthday present." She smiled. "Mom and dad got us each a car when we turned sixteen."

"That's generous of them." I noted.

"Well, it was that or driving us everywhere, since we live in the middle of nowhere." She explained, turning onto the highway.

"Oh." I realized that I didn't know where they lived. "You live outside town then?"

"A couple of miles, yeah." She nodded. "It's great, but since public transportation is essentially non-existent here, you really need a car."

"Tell me about it." I had felt very limited the previous couple of days, since I couldn't drive anywhere.

"And dad knows this guy in Seattle that usually gives him a good deal." Alice shrugged.

We drove in silence for a while.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" I wondered. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Sure."

"Why is it that you live with Doctor Cullen? He's your uncle, right?" She nodded. "I'm sorry, you don't have to talk about it. It's just, Jessica and Lauren were talking, and I don't want to trust the rumors, so I thought I'd ask."

"It's OK." She assured me. "It was a long time ago, I'm OK talking about it."

I waited as she thought for a moment.

"My mom was Carlisle's older sister. She married my dad right after high school. A couple of months after their wedding, Emmett was born, and a year and a half later Edward and I came along too." She smiled to herself. "I think they were happy. We lived in LA, my dad owned a car repair shop and my mom stayed at home with us. Anyway, Emmett had just turned six and Edward and I were four when they were hit by a drunk driver. They were killed instantly."

"I'm so sorry." I felt horrible for bringing it up.

"It's OK." She sighed. "Carlisle had just started med school at UCLA, but he didn't even hesitate to take us in. He and Esme had been together for a few years, and they moved into our house. Esme even took a couple of years off from school to stay home with us until Edward and I started first grade. Luckily, my grandfather – Carlisle's dad – had left quite a lot of money to my mom and Carlisle when he died, and we had dad's shop, so we got by fine while Carlisle finished his education."

"It must have been hard, losing your parents like that." I only knew how much I missed my mom, and she was just a couple of thousands miles away.

"I don't remember much about them, really." Alice bit her lip. "I remember my mom's eyes, they were the exact same color as Edward's. And her laugh. Dad always smelled like motor oil, and he used to pick me up and throw me up in the air when he came home from work."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's OK, Bella, really." She interrupted. "It's nice to talk about them every now and then. Carlisle and Esme are my parents in every way that counts but one, but I still like to remember from time to time."

"OK."

Silence once again filled the car, but it wasn't uncomfortable in any way. I liked the fact that Alice and I could be quiet together, to me that was a sign of real friendship.

"By the way." Alice said casually after a few minutes. "I hope you don't mind, but I told Jasper and Edward that we'd meet them for lunch later."

I felt my heart leap.

"They're going to Port Angeles?" Stupid question.

"Yeah, Edward needed to get some part or other for his baby." She rolled her eyes.

"Is there something wrong with the Volvo?" I wondered.

"No." She said hesitantly. "Oh, right. No the Volvo's mom's car, really."

"Oh. I just assumed, since…"

"No, we've just been taking it to school this week since Emmett's Jeep's in the shop." Alice explained. "We wouldn't all fit in this one, and Edward would never drive his baby to school, even if it had been big enough for the five of us. Too many careless teenagers who don't know how to treat real cars." She imitated his voice perfectly. "So mom let us take the Volvo."

"OK." I found myself strangely curious as to what kind of car he would care so much about. "What kind of car is it?"

"A -67 Chevrolet Camaro." Alice told me, which didn't help much.

"I don't know much about cars." I admitted.

"It's fast and black." She giggled.

"That's better." I joined in on the laugh.

xxxxx

The drive to Port Angeles took a little more than an hour, and when we got there, Alice parked in a lot close to the main shopping street.

Whether because I had been warned by Edward, or because Alice was taking it easy on the cripple, the shopping experience wasn't as horrible as I had expected. Sure, we went to every store there was – some twice – but we had fun. I even forgot to ask about the bookstore.

When we were leaving Necessities & Temptations on North Laurel Street, Alice's cell phone rang. I checked my watch and realized that it was already a little after one.

"Hey, baby." Alice answered the phone after checking the display. "Sorry, we must have lost track of time… that's fine by me, hang on." She covered the phone with her hand. "Is Mexican OK with you?" I nodded. "We're just a couple of blocks away, meet you in a few. Bye." She flipped the phone shut and put it back in her pocket. "There's this great place on East Front Street, they have the best enchiladas."

"Just lead the way." We crossed the street and headed down East Front Street, the way we had come earlier.

Jasper and Edward were waiting outside the restaurant. Alice greeted her brother with a kiss on the cheek before practically attacking Jasper. I averted my eyes from their very public make-out session.

"I see she hasn't bored you to death yet." Edward noted.

"Not yet, but my feet just might get the job done for her soon." I joked back, and he laughed with me.

As we made our way into the restaurant, I could see that he looked a little uncomfortable though, and I silently cursed Alice. Not only did he have to put up with me every day at school, now his sister ambushed him with me even on the weekend. I wondered for a second if my infatuation was so obvious that Alice had decided to help me out by throwing her brother at me. I hoped that was not the case.

I ordered the chicken enchiladas, following Alice's advice, and they were really good. Conversation over the food was light, and centered around school, homework, the latest blockbuster movie and a new sit com on CBS.

When we walked down the street after leaving the restaurant, I saw Alice give Edward a pointed look out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw him give her an almost imperceptible shake of the head in return. Before I had the chance to wonder what that was about, Alice let out a deep sigh.

"I'm sooo sorry, Bella." She gave me an apologizing look. "I completely forgot that I have an appointment to get my nails done with Rose in an hour and a half."

"Oh." I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Well, it's OK. We can head home, I don't mind."

"No, no." She shook her head. "We haven't even been to the bookstore yet, and didn't you want to get that CD?"

"Yeah, but it's not…" I was going to say necessary, but she interrupted me.

"Why don't I go back with Jasper, and Edward can give you a ride later?" She raised her eyebrows at her brother. "You don't mind showing Bella the bookstore, do you?"

"Of course not, Alice." He turned to me. "As long as that's fine with you?" For a second I had difficulties forming a rational thought. Then I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

"No, that sounds fine." I looked away quickly, trying my best not to blush. "But didn't you want to get a dress for the dance?" I reminded Alice.

"There's nothing good here anyway. You'll just have to go with me to Seattle, a lot more to choose from there."

"I guess, but…"

"Great." Alice was already skipping away from me and Edward, Jasper in tow. "Just remember; dinner's at seven. See you later!"

And then we were alone on the sidewalk, and the butterflies that had been making guest appearances in my stomach all week were suddenly back in full force.

What the hell, Alice?

As I tried to think of a way to make Alice pay for this, I heard Edward chuckle quietly next to me. I gave him a curious look.

"Is it just me, or was that more than a little obvious?" He asked, and my stomach dropped into my feet. He had noticed.

"I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't ask her to do that." I felt like I needed to explain.

"I know." He sighed. "I mean, I get that she's just trying to help, but could she have been _less_ discrete?"

"Probably not." I agreed, desperately trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"She just knows me way too well." He shrugged.

"She… huh?" I was completely lost. He didn't look at me as he replied.

"I've been wanting to ask you out all week, and Alice being Alice, of course figured that out. Disadvantage of having a twin." A smile twitched on his lips. "And then she pulled this. I'm sorry that she ambushed you."

I had to contemplate what he had just said for a moment before I could say anything.

"_You_ wanted to ask _me_ out?" I eventually managed to get out.

"Well, yeah." He finally looked at me again. "I thought that was obvious."

"Definitely not."

"It was to Alice." He chuckled. "But then again, she knows me better than anyone." He looked down the street in the direction that Alice and Jasper had disappeared. "Did you want to go to the bookstore?"

"Sure." I nodded, and we began walking down the street again.

"Hang on…" He said after a minute. "Why were you apologizing about Alice taking off like that?"

Damn.

"You noticed that, huh?" He waited patiently as I tried to form an intelligible response without making a complete idiot of myself. _He already said that __**he**__ wanted to ask __**you**__ out,_ a little voice in my head reminded me. "I just thought that she had figured out that I… kind of… wanted you to ask me out."

"Really?" He smiled hopefully.

"I thought that was obvious." I used his own words, and he chuckled.

"Nope." He shook his head. "Good thing Alice is so indiscreet then, or we could have continued to beat about the bush for quite some time." We stopped in front of a brick building and I looked up to see the words 'Port Book and News' printed over the display window. "We're here." He held the door open for me.

"This is great." I said as we walked into the store. "I've never really liked the big chain stores."

"It's actually my favorite shop in Port Angeles." He admitted. "They have a great selection, and reasonable prices."

We spent a good half hour in the store, browsing through the various shelves. Normally, I preferred going to bookstores by myself, but being here with Edward was even better.

By the time we left, I had bought two newly released books that I had heard were good and a beautiful old paperback copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, to replace the one I had dropped on my first day at Forks High – I needed a new one that I could keep in my bag at all times. Edward had bought an amazing, leather bound copy of Whitman's _Leaves of Grass_.

"Alice said that there was a music store here somewhere." I said, looking around as we crossed the street.

"Oh yeah." He stopped on the sidewalk. "We actually have to go back the other way."

"That's OK, we don't have to." I said, but he had already started walking back across the street.

"We're not in a hurry, are we?" He looked at me, that crooked smile on his face, and for a second my brain shut down, just like it had the first time I had seen him in the cafeteria. "Bella?"

"Huh?" I shook my head a little. "No, I guess not."

"Come on then."

The music store mainly carried used CD's, so they didn't have the one I was looking for. But I managed to find a copy of U2 live from Boston.

"Bono fan?" Edward noted as I waited in line to pay.

"I was at the concert in Phoenix in 2001, and they're amazing live." My mom had a friend who worked at the America West Arena, so she had gotten the tickets for free. I hadn't really been a U2 fan before that, but it had been an incredible experience.

"I know. Carlisle, Emmett and I were at one of the concerts in Anaheim."

"That must have been great." It was my turn to pay, and I handed the money over to the girl behind the counter.

"Do you want to get some coffee, or would you rather head back?" Edward asked as we left the store.

"Coffee sounds good." I replied, not wanting our time alone together to end quite yet. And it was pretty cold, so some hot coffee would be perfect.

He took me to a cozy place called Bella Rosa a couple of blocks from the music store. He insisted on paying for my coffee and blueberry muffin, and I eventually let him.

The coffee was heavenly after the bitter cold outside, and the blueberry muffin was delicious. We started talking about books, realizing that we had a lot in common in that area. We both loved the classics, but also enjoyed a good crime novel from time to time. Since he admitted – after having made me swear never to mention it to his brother – that he actually liked Jane Austen, I let it slip that he hadn't read anything by my contemporary favorite, Paulo Coelho. He did, however, agree to read _The Alchemist_ if I lent it to him.

When we ran out of coffee, he went to get more, and we just kept talking. I had no idea what time it was when he looked at his watch.

"Uh oh." He frowned. "We should probably get going. Alice will kill me if I get you there late."

I looked at my watch, and was surprised that we had been at the coffee house for over two hours. It was already twenty to six.

"Let's go." I said grudgingly. I would have been happy to stay a whole lot longer, but I had promised Alice I would come for dinner.

He helped me put my coat back on, and we left the coffee shop, hurrying down the street in the direction of the lot where Alice had parked earlier. I followed him to a black car with white stripes on the hood that was parked as far from the other cars as possible.

"Ah, the famous car." I commented.

"My baby." He unlocked the passenger door and held it open for me before sliding into the driver's seat. "I have no idea how Carlisle managed to find it, but I'm ever grateful."

"It's nice." I liked the smell of the old leather seats.

"Nice?" He stared at me. "It's a classic! It's got a V8 engine with almost…

"I'm sorry, but that means absolutely nothing to me." I interrupted, not up for a complete list of the cars amazing qualities.

"Right. Sorry." He grinned at me. "I tend to forget that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for this car."

"It's OK. But it is nice. Are the seats and everything original?" I touched the worn leather.

"Yeah. I put in a new stereo, but that's it." He indicated the high-tech piece of equipment. "The guy that sold it to Carlisle really kept it in mint condition."

He started the car and pulled out of the lot. As I realized what song was playing on the stereo, I raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry." He reached forward, turning the volume down.

"No." I turned it back up. "Do you mind if I change the song though?" He shook his head and I skipped to track six. Jeff Buckley's voice once again filled the car.

_I heard there was a__ secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you_

"Definitely one of the greatest songs ever."

"Have to agree with you there." He gave me a curious glance. "What's in your stereo right now?"

"In the truck?" He nodded. "David Gray, _A New Day at Midnight_."

"I haven't gotten around to listening to that yet, got it somewhere, but I really liked _White Ladder_. Is it any good?"

"It's great."

"So how'd you stumble across David Gray anyway?" I pondered his question for a moment.

"_This year's love_ was in a movie called _Crazy/Beautiful_. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it." It was true, I'd had to pause the movie to google the lyrics.

"I haven't seen the movie, but the song's amazing."

We spent the rest of the drive talking about music, discovering that we had quite a few favorite artists and bands in common.

When we got to Forks, he drove through the town and continued north. We crossed the river and passed through more and more deserted areas. Eventually, all signs of human settlement disappeared, and a few minutes later Edward turned onto a barely visible dirt road that took us even deeper into the woods.

After a while we reached a clearing, and in the middle stood a huge, white house, surrounded by a deep porch.

"Wow." I exclaimed quietly.

"You like it?" He smiled and got out of the car, and I followed.

"It's beautiful." He placed his hand on my lower back and guided me towards the house and up the steps to the porch.

"Esme's an architect; she would never be able to live in a house that didn't appeal to her esthetically." He opened the door and we stepped into a large, open space that took up most of the ground floor.

The entire back wall was made out of glass, with two sliding doors in the middle, and through it you had an amazing view of the river. Just outside there was a stone patio with a Jacuzzi and a rather large pool that seemed more suitable for a sunnier climate. To the right of the front door was a large staircase leading to the upper floors, and the kitchen area. A bar counter divided the kitchen from the rest of the room, which consisted of a dining room with a large table and a living room area to the left. In the corner to the left of the door, a piano stood on a small, elevated platform. I briefly wondered who played.

The kitchen was buzzing with activity; Alice was cutting something on a chopping board on one of the counters, Rosalie was stirring something on the stove and a woman in her mid-thirties with caramel colored hair who I assumed was Esme was taking plates from a cupboard.

As she turned and headed towards the dining table, she spotted us.

"You're back." She greeted with a smile, putting the plates down before walking over to us. "You must be Bella. I'm Esme." She extended her hand, and I shook it.

"It's nice to meet you. You have a beautiful home."

"And it's nice to _finally_ meet you too." She gave Edward a pointed glance.

"Bella!" Alice squealed and bounced over to us. "I hope you're not very mad that I abandoned you." She whispered in my ear as she hugged me tightly.

"I'll try to forgive you." I muttered back, and tried to glare at her as she pulled away, but she just winked at me and I knew she didn't buy it.

"Why don't you give Bella a tour of the house, dinner won't be ready for another fifteen minutes or so." Esme suggested. Rosalie waved from the kitchen, and I waved back before following Edward up the stairs.

We ended up in a long hallway with four doors leading from it. As we walked down it, Edward pointed out Rosalie and Alice's rooms as well as Carlisle's study and the master bedroom. We climbed another set of stairs, and found a new hallway, with four more doors.

"This is us guys' floor." Edward said, leading me down the hallway. "Emmett's room, Jasper's. But they sleep downstairs most of the time, so I usually get the whole floor to myself." He pointed at the first door on the right. "Library." I looked through the open door and discovered shelves upon shelves of books.

"Wow."

"And my room." He opened the last door on the left and I stepped inside.

Just like on the bottom floor, the entire back wall consisted of glass. Against the right wall there was a desk and several bookcases filled with books and CD's, and to the left was a large bed with a wooden headboard and a comfy looking leather couch. There was a small television perched on the edge of the desk, and a stereo in one of the bookcases.

"I like it." I walked over to the bookcases and studied his CD collection. A lot of my own favorites, some I didn't like that much, and quite a few I had never heard of. "Quite a collection you've got."

"Esme's sister runs a music store in Santa Barbara. She sends me what she knows I like, what she thinks I will like and what _she_ thinks I should listen to."

"That's just unfair." I grumbled, and he laughed.

"Come on." He held his hand out to me, and I took it. A tingle traveled up my arm. "Dinner should be ready soon."

When we came back downstairs, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had joined the others. Emmett and Jasper were watching some game on the TV, and Carlisle was sitting with Esme at the table, speaking quietly. Alice was just putting down a large bowl of salad on the table, and Rosalie was filling a pitcher with water.

"Hello again, Bella." Carlisle looked up and smiled at me. "How is your wrist?"

"It's OK, hurts a little now and then but not too bad." I actually hadn't even thought about it for several hours.

"That's good; it means that it's healing."

"Dinner!" Alice yelled at Emmett and Jasper, who obediently turned the TV off.

"Alice!" Esme gave her a look. "We have guests."

"It's only Bella." Alice shrugged and sat down at the table, everyone following her lead. I was strangely pleased by the way Alice didn't consider me a guest.

Dinner was delicious, just as Alice had said. And though there were eight people around the table, conversation ran smoothly. After we had finished dessert, which consisted of white chocolate panna cotta with raspberry sauce, it was almost ten.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Cullen, dinner was wonderful." I said as I brought my plate into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Bella. And please call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen makes me feel old." She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"It's getting late, maybe you should take Bella home?" Carlisle suggested to Edward. "Charlie might be worried."

"Oh, he's out fishing, he's probably not even home yet." As I said that, my cell phone started ringing. I checked the display. Charlie. "Hi dad."

"_Are you still in Port Angeles?"_

"No, I'm at the Cullens', we just had dinner. I told you that."

"_Oh. Yeah. Just don't stay out too late, OK?"_ I sighed.

"I was just heading home."

"_Good, see you in a bit then."_

"Bye dad." I ended the call. "Guess I'll need that ride after all."

"Let's go." Edward said.

I thanked Esme and Carlisle again for the amazing dinner, said goodbye to everyone and gave Alice a hug before following Edward out to the car.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Are you kidding? Your family's amazing." Granted, compared to my own slightly dysfunctional family, most others seemed perfect.

"They're alright."

I could sense him glance over at me several times as we drove back to Forks, but he didn't say anything. As he pulled into the curb behind my truck, I hesitated.

He had admitted to wanting to ask me out. Was he going to? Or did he change his mind, having spent all day with me? I thought we'd had a good time, but maybe he didn't. What if…

"Bella?" He interrupted my train of thought.

"Yeah?" I could feel the butterflies start to tap dance in my stomach.

"Would it be OK if I picked you up for school on Monday?"

OK, not what I had hoped for, but better than nothing.

"Sure." At that moment, I thanked the higher power that had made me break my wrist.

"I mean, do you think Charlie would be OK with it?" He rephrased.

"Sure, he's been going in to work later than usual because he's had to take me to school." That was true, but just in case I would only tell Charlie that I would catch a ride with a friend. He didn't need details.

"Great." He gave me a smile that, had I been standing, would have made my knees buckle. "See you Monday morning then."

"OK." I opened the door and was about to get out when he again called my name. I turned, and found myself much closer to him than I had expected.

"Do you have any plans for Friday?"

"Uh… Friday?" I desperately tried to connect the word 'Friday' to something meaningful. "Uh, no."

"There's a great Italian place in Port Angeles, and if you wanted, we could maybe see a movie too."

He was actually asking me out. It was really happening.

"That sounds nice." Or perfect, whatever you prefer.

"Great." He leaned back, and I got out of the car. "See you Monday." I closed the passenger door and he sped off down the street.

I had to inhale the cold air for a few moments to be able to form any sort of coherent thought before walking into the house.

**AN: The song in this chapter is**_** Hallelujah**_** by Jeff Buckley, featured on the album **_**Grace**_**. In my opinion "one of the greatest songs ever". I hope you don't mind the small changes I made to the Cullen house, just needed to make it work with the whole 'human' thing! **


	4. 4 First Date

**AN: Well, here's chapter four for you ****guys – The Big Date! Thanks to those of you who reviewed, it always makes my day! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Zero, zip, nada…**

**4**** – First Date**

Edward picked me up in the Camaro on Monday morning. I was surprised, since Alice had told me that he didn't like to drive it to school.

"Good morning." I greeted as I got into the passenger seat.

"Morning." He offered me a smile that I returned.

"I must say I'm surprised." He gave me a quizzical look, and I hurried to explain. "I was expecting the Volvo."

"Ah." He chuckled. "Alice."

"She might have mentioned something along the line of you not wanting to drive this car to school because of careless teenagers." I blushed a little. I hadn't meant to rat Alice out like that.

"It's fine, really." He assured me.

When we got to the school, however, he parked in the corner furthest from the entrance, as far away from other cars as possible. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had just arrived as well, in what I assumed was Emmett's Jeep, and were parked across the lot. When we walked towards them, Edward grabbed my hand, and I felt the by now familiar tingle run up my arm and continue down my spine. The others waited for us at the Jeep, and we all went into the school together.

If I had thought that I had gotten a lot of attention during my first week in Forks, it was nothing compared to the attention I attracted when I walked into the school hand in hand with Edward Cullen. Everyone turned to look as we walked by, and the saying 'If looks could kill' took on a whole new meaning as we passed Lauren. If it had been possible, I had no doubt that her face would have turned green with envy.

Edward walked me all the way to the English classroom before he left for his own class. I sat down at an empty desk in the back, but was quickly joined by Mike.

"So, you and Cullen, huh?"

I sighed inwardly. I should have been expecting this, really. But somehow I had managed to suppress the thought of Mike and his crush over the weekend.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I just… I don't like it." He said, and I stared at him incredulously.

"I guess it's a good thing I don't care whether or not you approve of who I date, then." I turned my attention to my notebook, checking my notes for the class.

"So you're dating then?"

Could he not just take a hint?

"That's really none of your business." Edward had asked me out, but we hadn't actually been on a date yet, so technically…

"You just said…"

"Yes, we're dating!" I interrupted him.

"Are you going to the dance with him?"

He just wouldn't give up.

"Again, really not your business." I was trying desperately not to sound too irritated, but he was making it very difficult.

"Because I thought that maybe we could…" He cut himself short when he saw the look in my eyes.

"Are you serious?" He couldn't be… right?

"I just thought that we could all go together, the whole gang you know. As friends." He shrugged.

"I'm probably not going at all, anyway."

"Why not? He hasn't asked you?" A look of triumph started to spread on his face.

"It's a Sadie Hawkins dance, Mike." I reminded him. "And we do have P.E. together, right? Have your eyes been closed?"

"Oh, right. I guess that makes sense." I liked the sound of defeat in his voice.

"Basic survival instinct." I winced as I remembered the time my mom had tried to teach me to dance before her wedding the previous year. "If it had just been my own safety at stake, it would have been a completely different matter. But there'll be dozens of innocents at that dance, and they don't deserve to be exposed to the natural disaster that is me on the dance floor."

He actually laughed at that, and I thought that we might be able to be friends after all. He was a nice guy. When he wasn't trying to hit on me, at least. I suddenly had an idea.

"Why don't you go with Jessica?" She would be so excited.

"You think she'd want to go with me?" I could practically hear the wheels turn in his head as he pondered the suggestion.

"Sure." I was absolutely positive that she would. "I could mention to her that you asked me if she had a date for the dance yet, you know, accidentally…"

"You'd do that?"

"Sure." Anything to help him get over his weird obsession with me.

xxxxx

Jessica was, just like Mike, curious about me and Edward. I told her an abbreviated version of how we had met in Port Angeles the previous Saturday, and then quickly distracted her by 'letting slip' that Mike had wondered whether she had a date for the Sadie Hawkins dance.

"Really? He did?" Her face lit up.

"Sure. You should probably ask him as soon as possible though, don't want someone else to beat you to it." We had just gotten to the Spanish classroom and sat down at a table in the back.

"I'll ask him at lunch." She nodded, then frowned. "He did ask because he wants to go with me, right? It wasn't just some random question?"

"No, he definitely wants to go with you."

"Yay!" She exclaimed quietly, since Mrs. Goff had just started the class. I returned her smile, if not as excitedly.

xxxxx

I met Angela after history, and we walked to math together as usual.

"So did you and Alice have fun in Port Angeles?" She asked.

"We did. She didn't find a dress for the dance, but we did some shopping." I suddenly felt the need to talk to an outsider about Alice's little set up. "We had lunch with her brother and Jasper, and then she practically abandoned me with Edward, making an excuse to go back to Forks with Jasper."

"Oh my God, I would have been so embarrassed." Angela's eyes went wide.

"Oh, I was. I was sure that she had caught on to the fact that I have a crush on him." Angela only nodded, and I realized that this was not news to her. I shouldn't be surprised; my mom had always said that I wore my heart on my sleeve, which was probably true. "But it turned out that she did it to give him a chance to ask me out."

"Really? That's so exciting!" Angela gushed. "When are you going out?"

"Friday."

"What are you doing?"

"We're going to Port Angeles for dinner and a movie."

"That's so exciting." She repeated. "So what did you do on Saturday, after Alice had fled the scene?"

"We went to the bookshop and the music store, and then we had coffee at Bella Rosa before driving back."

"I love that place, they have the greatest coffee." Angela remarked.

"It was really good." I agreed. "And then I had dinner with his family. His mom's an amazing cook."

"I'm so jealous!" Angela exclaimed. "Not at, you know, him in particular, just the whole thing. He obviously really likes you."

"I hope so." I mumbled.

"I want a boyfriend too!"

"We haven't even been on a date yet, I think it might be a bit too early to call him my boyfriend." I didn't want to jinx anything.

"I'm still jealous."

xxxxx

My attempt at matchmaking went well. A couple of minutes after I had sat down next to Edward in the cafeteria, Jessica looked over at me and gave me the thumbs up. Mission accomplished.

"Playing matchmaker, are you?" Edward wondered as we took our seats in the biology classroom. I had told him about Mike and Jessica going to the dance together when we walked over to the science building.

"It was really just to get Mike off my back. He was bugging me." I wrinkled my nose at the memory.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first he said that he didn't like that you and I were dating, and then he practically asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, even after I told him…"

"He asked you out?" Edward looked furious and glared at Mike across the room.

"Not really, he just sort of suggested that we would go to the dance as a gang, I guess he meant us, Jessica, Lauren and Eric, I don't know."

"I bet that's not what he had in mind." He was practically growling, and I frowned at him.

"Are you jealous?" The thought seemed absurd, but it was the only reasonable explanation I could think of.

"Some guy hitting on my girlfriend? Of course I'm jealous." He shot another furious glance at Mike.

Girlfriend? Huh… Maybe Angela hadn't been too far off the mark after all.

"Did you just call me…"

"Oh, crap." He gave me a sheepish look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything, I just… I really like you, I hope you know that."

"No, it's OK, I actually… kind of like it." I felt a blush rising on my cheeks. "And I really like you too. " I added quietly, my attention on the book in front of me.

Mr. Banner chose that moment to start the class, for which I was grateful. I tried to focus on what he was saying, forcing the color from my face. After a few minutes, I felt Edward's hand on mine, and he intertwined our fingers under the table. Needless to say, I didn't remember a word Mr. Banner said.

xxxxx

It turned out that my matchmaking had been more successful than I had originally thought. As I spent P.E. on the bleachers watching the others play volleyball, Jessica came over and sat down next to me.

"Guess what?" She exclaimed, continuing before I had a chance to do just that. "Mike asked me to go out with him on Friday!"

"That's great, Jess!" Please, say they're not going to Port Angeles, please, say they're not…

"We're going to Port Angeles to see a movie and have dinner."

Damn.

"What movie are you going to?" At least I could do my best to avoid them at the theater. Double dating with Mike and Jessica was _not_ high on my agenda.

"I really want to see that new romantic comedy with Ashton Kutcher, _Just Married_, but I don't know if it's too girly." She frowned. "Mike said it was fine, but maybe we should see something else."

"No, Ashton Kutcher isn't girly." No Ashton Kutcher, then. I didn't really mind, though.

"I guess not." Her face suddenly lit up. "Wouldn't it be cool if we went to the dance together, me and Mike and you and Edward?"

"We're not going to the dance." I said quickly. And even if we were, we would most definitely not be going with Jessica and Mike.

"Oh, that's too bad." Coach Clapp's whistle cut through the air, and Jessica groaned. "Guess I'd better get back to the game." She said, getting up from the bleachers. I was glad I didn't have to join her.

As I waited for Edward to change after the class ended, I pulled out my 'new' copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ and opened it to a random page. I had read it so many times that I could jump into the plot anywhere without a problem. I had just gotten to the part where Mr. Darcy proposes to Elizabeth for the first time only to be turned down when Edward reemerged from the locker rooms. He strolled over to me and took my bag before helping me to my feet. As we left the gym, he didn't let go of my hand.

"How many times have you read that book?" He asked as we walked towards the parking lot. "Ballpark figure?"

"Will you think I'm insane if I tell you that I stopped counting a couple of years ago?" I replied sheepishly.

"Yes." He chuckled. "But I like that you're a little crazy. Who needs normal?"

We had gotten to the car, and he opened the passenger door for me. I waited until we had left the lot before I brought up the subject of Jessica and Mike possibly intruding on our date.

"By the way, Mike asked Jessica out this Friday, and they're going to Port Angeles too."

"Oh. Did you want to go with them, like a double date?" I could tell that he really didn't like that idea.

"God no!" I exclaimed. "I was thinking more along the line of avoiding them like the plague."

"That's a relief." He chuckled.

"Jessica also suggested that we go to the dance together." I grimaced.

"What did you tell her?" He asked, glancing over at me.

"That we weren't going."

"You don't want to go?" Did I hear disappointment in his voice?

"I will ask you the same thing I asked Mike; have you actually seen me in Gym?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Do you honestly think I would let you hurt yourself?" He wondered dryly.

"I just… I don't dance. For the sake of the people around me." He must have heard how uncomfortable I sounded.

"We don't have to go, if you don't want to." We had arrived at Charlie's house at that point. "There's always prom."

And somehow, I knew I wouldn't get out of that one. Not considering the fact that I would most likely end up on the floor at some point, I wasn't completely sure I even wanted to.

xxxxx

I hadn't actually told Charlie that I was going out with Edward. I just didn't know how to start the 'Dad, I have a boyfriend' conversation. But when I cleared the plates after dinner that Thursday, I thought it was best to just get it over with. It would be too much to hope that he wouldn't notice if I disappeared from the house a couple of hours the following evening.

"Dad?" He was on his way into the living room to watch some game on TV, but stopped and turned towards me when I called.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"I'm, eh… going out tomorrow night, is that OK?" I fixed my eyes firmly on the plate in my hands.

"Sure, where are you going?"

"Port Angeles."

"To the movies?"

"Yeah, and maybe to get something to eat."

"You going with one of your friends?" I briefly considered saying yes. Edward and I were friends, after all. But, realizing Charlie would find out the truth sooner rather than later, I decided to go with the truth.

"Actually… I'm kind of going on a date." He was completely silent for at least a minute.

"With who?" There was a suspicious undertone in his voice now.

"Edward."

"Cullen?" How many Edwards did he know?

"Yeah."

He seemed to contemplate this for a moment.

"Are you old enough to date?"

"Dad, I'm sixteen!" For Christ's sake!

"That's exactly my point!"

"Are you telling me I can't go?" I glared at him, and he caved.

"No, of course not. I just want you to be careful."

"Dad." I mumbled, blushing profoundly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. But you're my little girl, that'll never change."

"It's just a date, dad." He nodded at me, but I could see that he was somewhere far away in his mind. After a moment, he turned and walked into the living room, and I let out a breath in relief.

"I want to meet him when he picks you up tomorrow." Charlie called from the living room, and I groaned.

"Da-ad!"

xxxxx

Much to my surprise, Edward didn't seem to mind 'officially' meeting Charlie before our date. I appeared to be the only one who was the least bit uncomfortable with the situation.

I stopped counting the number of times I had looked out the window at five thirty. I had been ready for forty five minutes, and Edward wasn't supposed to pick me up for another half hour. I had changed my clothes three times, before finally settling for my favorite jeans and a silky, blue top. I had mastered the art of buttoning my jeans with just my right hand only the previous day, and was no longer limited to wearing draw string pants, which felt like a small victory.

Charlie got home a few minutes before six, and when I heard him close the front door, I went down to the kitchen. He was just hanging his jacket on a hook, and I noticed that he had put his service revolver on the kitchen table.

"I hope you're planning to put that away." I nodded at the gun.

"Wouldn't hurt to scare the boy a little." He muttered under his breath, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Fine." He unloaded the gun and put it in the kitchen drawer where he usually kept it when he wasn't working.

"Thank you. And no third degree!" I jumped a little as there was a knock on the door. Charlie beat me to it and opened the door for Edward.

"Edward." He said curtly, extending his right hand. Edward shook it.

"Chief Swan. Hi Bella." He smiled at me over Charlie's shoulder.

"Come on in." Charlie stepped aside to let Edward into the house. "So, what are your plans for tonight?"

"Well, we have a reservation at Bella Italia at seven, and then I thought we would see a movie before heading back here." Edward glanced at his watch. "We should probably get going. Don't want to lose our table."

"Alright." Charlie turned to me. "No later than midnight."

"Actually, dad, the movie we were going to see is almost two and a half hours long, so it won't end until eleven thirty."

"Half past midnight, then." I glared at him, but knew there was no point in pushing.

"It was nice meeting you, Chief Swan." Edward said as we left the house.

"Suck up!" I teased him when we were safely in the car.

"I was just being nice to your dad." He started the engine, and I smiled as I recognized the first chords of Coldplay's_ The Scientist_.

"Another favorite?"

He nodded.

"It's a bit melancholy, but I really like it."

"Me too."

"I overheard Mike and Eric talking earlier today, by the way." He glanced at me. "Mike said that he and Jessica were going to go to the movies first, and then eat, so that's why I made dinner reservations at seven."

"Good thinking."

"I hope you like Italian." He looked a bit worried. "We can go somewhere else, if you don't. I shouldn't have assumed…"

"Italian's fine." I assured him, starting to suspect that he was as nervous as I was. It felt oddly comforting in a way.

Since there was hardly any traffic, we made it to Port Angeles in under an hour. Edward held the door to the restaurant open for me, and when we went inside we were greeted by a young woman.

"Welcome to Bella Italia, how may I help you?"

"We have a reservation." Edward told her. "Cullen."

She checked her list, and ticked off our reservation.

"Right this way, please." She led us further into the restaurant, and stopped in front of a table for two by the back wall.

"Thank you." Edward pulled out my chair and waited until I was seated before he sat down. The waitress put down menus in front of us.

"Would you like to order drinks first?"

Edward looked at me.

"Sure. I'll have a Coke, please." The waitress nodded and turned to Edward.

"I'll have the same, thank you."

As the waitress left, I opened the menu in front of me.

"Is there anything special that's good?" I wondered, and Edward frowned, looking at his own menu.

"Well, the pasta is always great. Alice loves their duck, but I haven't tried it."

"I think I'll stick to pasta." I scanned that portion of the menu. "The smoked salmon ravioli sounds good."

When the waitress returned with our drinks, Edward ordered the ravioli for me and pasta primavera with chicken for himself.

The food really was delicious. While we ate, we talked about movies we loved and hated. It turned out that Edward was a Monty Python fan, and I laughed so hard I cried when he did an imitation of John Cleese in _The Parrot_.

We walked to the movie theater, since it was only a couple of blocks away. Edward put his arm around my shoulders, and I wrapped my arm around his waist. He leaned closer, and I could feel his breath against my ear.

"This is an ex-parrot." Of course, I broke down in giggles again. "He has ceased to be."

"Stop it!" I elbowed him in the ribs.

"If you don't behave, I'll do the silly walk, and then you'll really be embarrassed." I started laughing again just thinking about it.

Luckily, we were at the theater by then, and got in line to get our tickets. I thought I saw Jessica and Mike walking in the opposite direction to where we had come from, and I quickly turned my back on them just in case they turned around.

We got some popcorn and drinks before we headed into the auditorium, which was barely half-full – the movie had been playing for almost a month after all. As we sat down in the back row, I suddenly became very aware of how little space was between us. I glanced at Edward, but he seemed completely engulfed in the commercials that had already started playing on the screen. I turned my attention in the same direction and took a few deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart. It didn't help much.

As the lights went out and the movie started, it became even more obvious that Edward was a mere couple of inches from me in the dark. It felt like there was an electric current that coursed between us, and I had absolutely no idea what Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were up to on the screen in front of us.

About half-way through the movie, I reached for some popcorn, and apparently Edward had the same idea at the same time. Our hands connected in the popcorn bucket, and my eyes were irrevocably drawn to his. The intense look on his face made me gasp.

Slowly, he put the popcorn bucket down on the floor, without taking his eyes off me. As he leaned in closer to me, I instinctively closed my eyes.

Initially, the kiss was very soft and light, his lips barely grazing mine. As I sighed against his lips, he deepened the kiss and his hand came up to cup my neck. I pressed myself closer to him as well as I could with the arm rest between us. As his tongue slid over my bottom lip, I willingly granted him access.

I had no idea how the movie ended.

xxxxx

"You should get inside." Edward contradicted his own words by pulling me closer in the limited space of the car.

We had been parked in front of Charlie's house for the last fifteen minutes, and it was now 12.27.

"We've still got three minutes." I mumbled against his lips. He glanced at the time.

"Two." He pulled back a little, and I almost sighed out loud at the loss of contact. "And I have a feeling Charlie will come looking for you if you're not actually inside the house when he said you should be."

"You're probably right." I pouted a little.

"Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"No, nothing at all." I blurted out, and then blushed. "That sounded just a little desperate, didn't it?"

"Desperate's good." He brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll call you… later today, actually. We can do anything you want."

"Yeah?" I leaned forward for a goodnight kiss, and he willingly obliged. This time, I was the one to pull away as he deepened the kiss. "I really should go."

As I spoke the words, the lights came on in the kitchen.

"Crap. Goodnight." I gave him one last quick kiss before getting out of the car and half running to the door. Charlie opened it just as I reached for the handle. I heard Edward speed off down the street behind me.

"I thought I said twelve thirty?" Charlie grumbled.

"It is twelve thirty." I walked past him into the kitchen and grabbed an apple.

"It's twelve thirty-one." He corrected me, and I rolled my eyes at him. "And I thought he took you to dinner."

"He did. Hours ago." I decided that this conversation could wait until never, and took the apple with me to my room. I heard Charlie follow as I closed the door, but he didn't say anything else.

When I got back into my room after having brushed my teeth, my phone chirped.

_Sleep tight – E_

I fell asleep with a silly grin on my face.

**AN: I had just watched "The Parrot" when writing this chapter, so that's why it ended up in the story. If**** you haven't seen them, I really recommend going to youtube and searching for "The Parrot" and "Ministry of Silly Walks". Just hilarious! And please, please – pretty please with sugar on top? – let me know what you think!**


	5. 5 Music and Memories

**AN: Hello all! I am sorry for the delay in updates; my computer crashed on Thursday morning. Luckily, I had the story saved on a memory stick, but I haven't had a decent internet connection until today! I promise to update more frequently in the future (if I get more reviews, I'll even update more often than I have so far…) Here is chapter 5 for you guys, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything ****relating to the Twilight saga… but a girl can dream, right?**

**5**** – Music and Memories**

Charlie had left by the time I got up the next morning; he was fishing with Billy again, and probably wouldn't be back until late. I did the homework that had to be done by Monday and cleaned the house, but it was still barely noon by the time I had finished. Edward hadn't said when he would call, so when the phone rang a few minutes later, I almost fell down the stairs in my hurry to get to it.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"_Hi honey!"_

I let out a slightly disappointed sigh; mom.

"Hey mom." I started twirling the chord around my finger, hoping this wouldn't turn out to be one of her marathon calls.

"_Was that a sigh__ of disappointment I just heard? Were you expecting a call from someone else?" _

"Mom…" I could never hide anything from her.

"_Are you waiting for a boy to call, Isabella Marie Swan?"_ I knew her well enough to recognize her teasing.

"Maybe…"

"_Tell me everything! What's his name? How old is he? Are you dating? Is Charlie completely freaking out?"_ I laughed at her last question.

"Actually, yes, a little. I had to remind him to put his gun away before Edward came over last night." It hadn't been very funny at the time, of course, but I could laugh at it now.

"_Edward? He sounds like he's eighty or something."_I could practically hear her frown over the line.

"He's my age." Eighty… eew.

"_He's in your class then? Is that how you met him?"_

"Yeah, we have Biology and P.E. together."

"_He still wants to hang out wit__h you after having seen you in Gym? That must be a good sign."_ I rolled my eyes and was about to say something sarcastic, but she quickly changed the subject. _"So you went out last night? Where did you go? What did you do? Is there actually anything __**to**__ do in that sorry excuse for a town?"_

"Not really. We went to this really nice little Italian place in Port Angeles, and then we went to the movies." I didn't say that we went to _see_ a movie, because there really hadn't been much of that.

"_What movie did you see?"_

"Eh…" I desperately tried to remember what the movie had been called, but came up blank. "The new one with Leonardo DiCaprio." That I remembered.

"_Oh, you made out at the movies then."_ Mom chuckled, and I blushed. _"And stop blushing."_

"How did you…" I blushed even harder.

"_Please, sweetie. I know you."_ She had a point. _"Is he taking you out again?"_

"I think so." I was suddenly filled with doubts. He had said that he would call, but he hadn't actually said that he wanted to go out again. "He said he'd call, but I don't know if…"

"_Then he'll call. And I'm sure he'll want to take you out again, what guy wouldn't?"_

At last count? All of them. Maybe more.

"_OK, I'll let you go;__ don't want to block the line when he calls. I just wanted to see how your week's been. Call me tomorrow, I want to hear everything!"_

With that, she hung up.

And I was left all alone with my shiny, new doubts.

He had meant it when he said that he would call, right? I mean, we had been making out through half the movie and then in his car before we said goodnight. He _seemed_ to like me. He _had_ said it, he'd even called me his girlfriend, and still…

Fortunately, my thoughts were interrupted by another phone call.

"Hello?" This time, it was him.

"_I'm so sorry!"_ My heart immediately dropped. Was he only calling to say that he didn't want to see me again?

"Why?" I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

"_I accidently mentioned to Alice that we were doing something today, and she somehow got me to agree to movie and pizza with her and Jasper tonight."_ I let out a sigh of relief. _"Did I mention that I'm sorry? I'm really really sorry."_

"It's fine." It was, really. "I mean, I wouldn't have minded doing something just the two of us, but Alice is my friend, I don't have a problem hanging out with her and Jasper."

"_Are you sure? Because if I said __that you wanted to do something else, I could probably… OK, maybe, get her to let us off the hook. It might take some begging and possibly the promise of a favor of some kind, but…"_

"Pizza and a movie with Alice and Jasper will be fine." I interrupted.

"_Are you sure?"_

"Positive."

"_OK, but next weekend we'll do something just you and me."_ I liked the sound of that.

"Deal. What's the timeline for tonight then?"

"_I think it's pretty open. __Just let me know when you feel like coming over and I'll pick you up. We'll order the pizza when we're hungry. Oh, and Alice already has the movies picked out, so don't bother bringing anything."_

When I feel like it… how about right now? No, that would be too pushy. Right?

"Fiveish? Is that OK?" Four and a half long hours from now. I had no idea how I would pass the time.

"_Sure.__ I'll call when I'm on my way."_ I thought I heard a hint of disappointment in his voice. _"Hang on, Alice wants to talk to you. See you in a couple of hours."_

"See you later." I waited as he handed the phone to Alice.

"_Hi Bella!"_ She sounded as chipper as ever. _"I've got a favor to ask."_

"Shoot."

"_Are you doing anything special today, or do you mind coming here a little earlier? I have an English paper__ on _The Scarlet Letter_ due on Monday, and I really, really need your help."_

I was pretty sure she could just ask one of her brothers, or Jasper, for help, but I wasn't about to pass up on the opportunity she had just – deliberately? – thrown at me.

"Sure, when do you want me to come over?" Please say now, please say now.

"_Well… I actually haven't started yet…"_

"How about I grab some lunch and then I'll head over? As long as someone can pick me up, I still can't drive the truck you know."

"_Would you? I really__ appreciate it."_

"Sure, Alice." I waited as she covered the phone with her hand and spoke to someone.

"_Edward will pick you up in half an hour, is that OK?"_

"Sounds great."

"_OK. See you in a little while!"_ I could almost hear the smile on her face as she hung up.

I fixed some grilled cheese, and waited impatiently as the bread sizzled in the pan. After I had eaten, I took a quick shower and threw on my favorite t-shirt and a pair of jeans I had bought during my shopping trip with Alice. I grabbed my own copy of _The Scarlet Letter_ and headed down the stairs just as I heard Edward pull into the driveway. Before heading out the door, I scribbled down a note for Charlie, telling him where I was and that he had to fix dinner himself, and stuck it to the fridge with a magnet in the shape of a rainbow.

Edward was leaning against the driver's side of the Camaro, and a crooked smile appeared on his face when I came out the door.

"Hey." I returned the smile as I walked down the porch steps.

"Hey." He walked around the car and opened the passenger door for me. I leaned in for a quick hello-kiss, but he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Missed you." He mumbled, pulling away slightly and burying his face in my hair.

"Me too." I snuggled into the crook of his neck and sighed. I could definitely get used to this.

After a couple of minutes he released me and I got into the passenger seat. Before he started the car, he opened the glove compartment.

"Pick something."

I pulled out the pile of CDs that filled the small space and flipped through them, settling on Maroon 5's _Songs about Jane_.

"Good choice." He acknowledged with a grin.

I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and let the slightly aggressive notes of _Harder to Breathe_ wash over me.

After a few minutes, I felt Edward's arm around my back, and I willingly scooted a little closer to him and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Sorry about Alice." He mumbled. "I mean, not that I mind having you around all day – obviously – but she can be a bit of a pain in the ass when she's on a mission."

"Mission?" He raised an eyebrow at my questioning tone. "Oh." It had been deliberate, then. Thank you, Alice.

"I tried to tell her to back off, that I had everything under control, but she seems to think I'm going to mess up or something."

"It sounds like she just cares about you." I suggested.

"She cares about you too, you know." He chuckled. "She actually told me that if I hurt you, she'd beat me to death with a shovel."

"I hope that won't be necessary." I actually shivered at the thought, and he pulled me closer.

"Not if I have anything to say in the matter."

Was this happening way too fast?

We had known each other for barely two weeks, been on one single date. And I already knew that if he ever left me, it would break my heart beyond repair. So, yes, this was happening way too fast. But I didn't think that there was anything I could do about it.

When we got to the big house, Alice had set up her laptop on the bar counter. Edward joined Jasper, who was watching TV in the living room part of the area, and I climbed the barstool next to Alice.

"Thank you so much!" She gave me a tight, one-armed hug. "I didn't understand half of what Mr. Mason was saying in English the other day."

We worked on her paper for a couple of hours, until she was happy with the results. When she flipped the laptop closed with a satisfied click, the boys looked up from the TV.

"All done?" Jasper asked, and Alice nodded.

"All done."

"Where's everyone else?" I asked as Alice hopped off her chair. I opted against trying to match her grace and carefully climbed down instead. One broken limb was quite enough for the time being.

"They went to Seattle for the day; they probably won't be back until pretty late tonight." Alice plopped down on the couch next to Jasper, leaving a space for me between her and Edward. "Are you guys actually watching this, or can we start watching the movies?" She indicated the basketball game on the television.

Jasper handed her the remote, and she skipped to the entertainment set, inserting a DVD in the player.

"I thought we'd start with some comedy." She returned to the couch as the trailers began, kicking her shoes off to get more comfortable. I followed her lead and pulled my legs up under me. Edward put an arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him.

I had always liked British comedies in general – and Hugh Grant comedies in particular – so Alice's choice of _About a Boy_ suited me well.

After the movie, we ordered pizza. As we waited for the food to get there, I spotted Alice glancing at the piano in the corner.

"Do you play?" I asked, and was surprised when she turned to Edward, raising her eyebrows at him.

"It's mine." He shrugged. "It's a hobby."

"You're being too modest!" Alice huffed. "He composes his own music."

"Really?" I frowned at him. "We've spent I don't know how many hours talking about music, and you what? Forgot to mention it?"

"Sorry." He had a sheepish look on his face. "It's just not something I go around talking about, I guess."

"It's OK. As long as you make it up by playing something for me."

He got up and walked over to the piano, sitting down on the stool before running his hands over the keys, trying out different scales. He paused for a moment, and then began to play a slow, sweet melody. It became more and more melancholy as it progressed, and the final note tugged at my heart. I realized that I had tears in my eyes when he finished playing.

"That was beautiful." I said, my voice a little unsteady.

"And new." Alice noted.

Edward gave me a long, meaningful look. Had the song been for me? The small smile on his face gave me the answer.

"Hey, Jasper, I need that book you said I could borrow, come with me upstairs?" Alice seemed to have picked up on the electricity that was flowing between me and Edward.

"Right, the book. Come on." The two of them walked up the stairs, and Alice winked at me over her shoulder.

I walked over to the piano and sat down next to Edward. He placed a kiss on top of my head, and I leaned into his body.

"How long have you played?" I asked quietly.

"As long as I can remember." He ran his fingers lightly over the keys. "My mom played, so we had a piano in our living room. Esme always says that I started tinkling on the piano before I could talk."

"My mom made me take lessons when I was eight, but I never really got the hang of it." He took my hand and placed it on the keys, pressing my fingers down to produce different notes. After a moment I realized that we were playing _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star._

"One of the few memories I have of my mom is how she used to pick me up and sit down on the piano stool with me in her lap, and we'd play _Chopsticks_ together." His voice was a little sad.

"That's nice." He let go of my hand, and I wrapped my arm around his waist. He leaned his head on mine, and we just sat there.

When the doorbell rang about five minutes later, we were still in the same position. Before either of us had a chance to react, Alice bounced down the stairs and threw the door open. Jasper followed at a more reasonable pace.

Alice paid for the pizzas and put them down on the coffee table in front of the couch, flipping the boxes open. One plain and one mushroom. Jasper took a slice from the plain one before reclaiming his seat on the couch.

Edward went to get some sodas from the fridge, and I joined Alice and Jasper on the couch.

"What movie's next?" I wondered, and Alice held up two DVD-cases for me to choose from.

"Matt Damon or hot surf guys?"

"Franka Potente or Kate Bosworth." Jasper corrected, grinning, as Edward sat down next to me.

"Either one is fine." I shrugged.

"Hot surf guys it is." Alice put the disc in the DVD-player and skipped past the trailers.

The movie was actually pretty good. By the time it was over, the pizza and sodas were all gone. Alice skipped into the kitchen with the trash while Jasper put the last movie in the DVD before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch. When Alice came back, she joined him on the floor, sitting down between his legs and leaning back into his chest. She grabbed one of the blankets from the armrest of the couch and pulled it over them both.

As the movie started, Edward stretched out on the couch and pulled me down in front of him, his head leaning on the armrest. He took one of the pillows we had tossed on the floor earlier and put it underneath my head.

"Are you cold?" His mumble in my ear sent shivers down my spine, and he took that as a yes, reaching out for the other blanket that was draped across the armrest of the couch.

His arm crept around my waist under the blanket and he pulled me closer so that my back was pressed against his chest.

"Comfy?" I only managed to hum in what I hoped was an affirmative way.

Needless to say, I had trouble keeping up with the plot.

About half an hour into the movie, we heard a car pull up outside the house.

"They're home." Alice acknowledged.

As the door opened, I tried to sit up, but Edward only held me tighter. Carlisle and Esme came into the room first, joined by Emmett and Rosalie a moment later.

"Hey kids." Esme greeted, smiling at us.

"What're you watching?" Emmett flopped down on the floor next to Jasper and Alice.

"_Bourne Identity_." Jasper replied, eyes focused on the TV.

"I've been wanting to see that."

"We'll be off to bed." Carlisle said, pulling Esme along with him towards the stairs. "See you in the morning."

Rosalie joined Emmett, Jasper and Alice on the floor and we continued to watch the movie.

xxxxx

Edward and I ended up making out in the car outside Charlie's house later that night, Goo Goo Dolls' _Iris_ playing softly in the background.

It was only ten thirty, so I figured Charlie wouldn't come looking for me for a while. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

_Daddy Cool _started playing from my pocket, and I groaned.

"I'm assuming that's your dad calling?" Edward said in an amused voice.

"I made the mistake of teaching him how to assign personalized ring tones." I complained, pulling the phone out of my pocket. "He's taking it out on my phone."

Edward only chuckled.

"Hello?" I answered, sounding annoyed on purpose.

"_Bella?"_

Who else would it be?

"What's up dad?"

"_I just wanted to __know when you were planning on coming home." _

I calculated the risk of him looking out the kitchen window, and found it to be pretty big.

"We actually just pulled up outside." I shot Edward an apologetic look.

"_Great. See you in a bit then."_

"Sure thing." I was pretty certain that he didn't pick up on the sarcasm in my voice. I returned the phone to my pocket. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Edward assured me. "He's your dad; it's his job to look out for you."

"He's a little new at it, so he goes overboard sometimes. We've only had the summers together before, and I'm pretty sure he was more worried about me having a good time so I would want to come back the year after than sticking to curfews and stuff."

"You didn't have a boyfriend then, either." He noted, and I smiled at the word. _Boyfriend_.

"Also true. Maybe he's just behaving like any normal parent of a teenager."

"Most likely." He ran his knuckles down my cheek, making me shudder a little. "You should probably get inside."

"Yeah." I agreed grudgingly.

"Lunch tomorrow? I think Esme said something about making her famous lasagna."

"Are you sure? I don't want your family to get sick of me." In truth, I didn't want _him_ to get sick of me.

"Could never happen."

"OK then." I looked over towards the house and saw that Charlie was standing in the kitchen window. "I really do have to go now. I wouldn't put it past him to come out here and drag me inside."

"I'll pick you up at noon tomorrow."

"Charlie can take me; you shouldn't have to drive me around everywhere."

"I don't mind." And I could tell that he really didn't. "But I do have some homework to do before you get there tomorrow, so it would probably be better if Charlie drove you."

"Tomorrow at noon then." I was about to open the door, but he reached out and held me back.

"You forgot something." He said before he placed his hands on my cheeks and gave me a long, sweet kiss. I might have forgotten to breathe at some point, because when he pulled back, I was completely out of breath, and my brain felt all fuzzy.

I snapped out of it when I heard the front door open.

"Night." I quickly got out of the car, and I could hear Edward chuckle behind me. "Hi dad."

"I thought you said you just pulled up outside when I called you?"

"We did, I just didn't get out of the car right away." I blushed as I walked past him into the house and hoped that he wouldn't notice.

xxxxx

"I think we're supposed to turn off to the right up there, just before that big tree." I pointed ahead. "The road's a little difficult to spot."

"A little difficult." Charlie grumbled as he turned onto the road leading up to the Cullens' house. "It barely even qualifies as a road."

He had complained a little when I told him I was having lunch with the Cullens, but I managed to appease him by promising I would make his favorite dinner that night.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" He now asked doubtfully.

"Yes, dad. I know it looks like the middle of nowhere, but it's really not." Just as I finished speaking, we arrived at the clearing and Charlie stopped in the driveway, behind Edward's Camaro.

"Nice place they've got." Charlie admired the beautiful house as I got out of the car.

"Bye dad. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Sure thing Bells." I slammed the passenger door shut and he drove away.

"Hey." I turned towards the house to find Edward on the porch. He must have heard us pull up.

"Hey." I climbed the steps and he welcomed me with a kiss.

"The food's not quite ready yet, want to sit for a while?" I nodded and he led me over to a porch swing that stood in the right corner.

"This is nice." I said as we sat down. He put his arm around me and started moving the swing with his foot.

"Esme likes to sit out here, and I must say I understand the appeal now."

"It must be nice in the summer."

"We'll have to wait and see."

I glanced up at him then, but he was staring unseeingly into the woods across the clearing. I liked the fact that he still saw us together in the summer.

"They don't need any help in there?" I glanced over my shoulder towards the front door.

"Nah, Esme won't let anyone in the kitchen when she cooks anyway."

We swung in silence for a while, until Alice came out to tell us that lunch was ready. She gave me a hug before walking ahead of us into the house.

The food was, again, amazing.

"You're really a wonderful cook, Esme." I complimented her as we cleared the table; I had insisted on helping her.

"Thank you." She smiled at me. "My mom loved cooking, and she taught me everything I know."

"My mom would burn the house down if she tried to cook." I said, remembering Renée's last disastrous attempt at making dinner. "And Charlie… well, he would probably still be surviving on take-out if I hadn't come along." Esme laughed at that.

"I'm guessing you're the one in charge of dinner at home then?"

"If I want to eat something that hasn't come out of a box and made a pit stop in the microwave, then yes." I put the last plate into the dishwasher and felt Edward's hands encircle my waist from behind.

"Do you have to get home, or do you want to go for a walk?" He mumbled in my ear.

"I don't have to leave yet." Good thing I had on a thick sweater, it was freezing outside.

Luckily, it hadn't snowed again since my disastrous slip the previous week, so the ground wasn't covered in ice.

We followed a narrow path into the woods, and after ten minutes or so, we came into a small clearing by the river. Edward sat down on a large, flat stone and pulled me down in his lap.

"It's beautiful here." The Sol Duc-river formed a small waterfall just beneath us, and the woods were thick all around.

"It's one of my thinking spots." He mumbled. "I go here when I need to get away for a while, be alone."

"One of them? You have more?"

"I found this amazing place in the woods when Emmett and I were out hiking once. It's this little, completely circular meadow, and in the summer the grass is covered in wild flowers." I could almost imagine it. "It's a bit of a walk to get there, but I'll take you when it gets warmer."

"I'd like that."

**AN: Any Buffy fans out there? You probably picked up ****on my "subtle" borrowing from a couple of episodes**_**.**_** Just gotta love that Willow. **


	6. 6 Valentine's Day

**AN: Well, I got six reviews on the previous chapter, which is almost as many as I've gotten on the other four combined! So, as promised, a quick update. This is for my faithful reviewers (you know who you are!) and for the new ones – you all make my day! Keep it up, and I'll keep updating more quickly! I hope you like the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it.**

**6 – Valentine's Day**

The following two weeks passed almost in a blur. Time didn't seem to behave the way it usually did when I was with Edward. Sometimes it would jump ahead – big chunks of time seemed to be just disappearing – and sometimes it would pass by almost impossibly slowly.

He picked me up in the morning and walked me to English before heading off for his own classes. Then he'd usually meet me after Math and we'd go to the cafeteria together – Angela and I had become a regular fixture at the Cullen/Hale table. After lunch, we'd head to Biology where we would spend the entire hour _not_ touching, which was extremely difficult, at least for me, considering the waves of electricity that seemed to be flowing between us. When the self-control trying period was over, he'd walk me my Computer Science class, and then he met me after the period and we would head over to the gym along with Alice.

I was, of course, still excused from P.E., so I would spend the hour watching him play basketball, which was what we had moved on to after volleyball was finished. I marveled at the way he moved across the floor; it was almost like he knew what the other players were thinking before they actually did anything, because he always managed to out-maneuver them somehow.

"You've got a little drool, right there." Alice's voice almost made me jump out of my skin. I hadn't heard her come up to the bleachers where I was sitting.

"Funny." I discretely ran my hand over the corner of my mouth, just in case.

"Not that I want to interrupt you ogling my brother or anything, but I wanted to talk plans with you." She sat down next to me.

"Plans?" I repeated incredulously.

"Tomorrow's Valentine's Day." She pointed out.

"It is?" I knew today was Thursday, but what date... no clue.

"Yes, it is. Where has your head been these past few weeks?" She frowned at me. "On second thought, don't answer that. Ogling I can deal with, but I do _not_ need any details."

To which I of course blushed thoroughly. Not that anything had really happened. There had been a lot of make-out sessions on Charlie's couch, after our now daily homework dates. Edward would drive me home and we'd spend an hour or two doing school work, and then we'd usually turn on the TV and ignore whatever was on until I had to start dinner. Edward always left before Charlie came home. He hadn't actually said that Edward couldn't be at the house when I was home alone, but we didn't want to risk any restrictions.

The previous weekend had passed much as the one before; we went to Port Angeles on Friday night, had dinner at Bella Italia again and then went to the movies. The difference was that this time I didn't even remember the beginning of the movie. I had a vague memory that Matthew McConaughey had been in it, but couldn't be completely sure. Saturday night had been spent with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie watching movies and ordering Chinese food from South North Garden.

And both nights had ended in Edward's car outside Charlie's house.

"So, plans?" I wondered what she had in mind, willing myself out of my rather pleasant walk down memory lane.

"Well, I thought we could do something all six of us, other than just hang out at the house and watch movies."

"Oh." I had kind of been looking forward to being alone with Edward on Valentine's Day. Since I had never actually had a boyfriend before, I hadn't had the spending-Valentine's-Day-with-my-boyfriend experience either.

"Don't sound so disappointed." She elbowed be teasingly in the ribs. "You'll get him all to yourself on Saturday."

"No, it sounds great Alice. Really. What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking we could go to the restaurant at the Kalaloch Lodge. The food is great, and the view is just amazing."

I had heard of that place.

"You don't think they're all booked? It is tomorrow." She got a slightly sheepish look on her face. I had already learned what that meant. "What did you do?" I asked sternly.

"We kind of already have a reservation."

"Oh really?" I wondered why I was not surprised. "And when did you make that reservation?"

"Aboutamonthago." She spoke so fast, I almost didn't hear what she said.

"A month?" I hadn't even been in Forks a month ago. "And who had you been planning on bringing?"

"Oh, no, not like that!" She hurried to assure me. "I only made a reservation for five. See, last year we did this whole anti-Valentine's-Day thing, all of us going out so Edward wouldn't feel left out. But now we don't have to do that!"

"Right."

"So I called them the other day, and it was no problem changing the reservation to six instead of five. What do you say?" She gave me her best puppy eyes, so there wasn't really anything I could do.

"Sure, Alice, it sounds great." I also knew there was no point in arguing with her. She would win in the end anyway, so I might as well give up right away.

"Great!" She jumped up. "Now I just have to convince that stubborn brother of mine."

"Wait, Edward hasn't agreed to this?"

"Not yet!" She got a mischievous look in her eyes and bounced off towards the basketball court.

xxxxx

"I'm so sorry I got us into going out with the others tomorrow." I apologized – again – as Edward drove me home half an hour later. "I really thought you were already in on it, or I wouldn't have agreed."

"It's OK." He assured me. "Like Alice so kindly informed me, I didn't have any great plans anyway, and I don't want you to be disappointed."

"I wouldn't have been disappointed no matter what we would have done." He gave me that crooked smile I already loved.

"How did I manage to find such a low maintenance girlfriend?"

"It's just that I've never done the whole Valentine's Day thing before, so I don't have any high expectations." I shrugged.

"You've never had a Valentine's date?" He frowned. "Seriously?"

"Of course I'm serious."

We hadn't broached the subject of past relationships before. I remembered what Lauren had said that first day in the cafeteria, and I wondered if it was true. That I had a non-existing relationship history didn't mean that he did.

"I just thought you would have had all the guys after you in Phoenix, like you do here."

"All the guys? What guys?" OK, there had been Mike those first couple of days, but he was happily dating Jessica now.

"Mike? Eric? Those are the most obvious, but I can keep going if you want."

I had forgotten about Eric. But other guys?

"That was just because I was new. Change of scenery." And, of course, I blushed.

"I doubt that." He turned the engine off, and I realized we were already at the house. "You're telling me you've never had a boyfriend before?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, so I opened the door and got out of the car.

"I'm sorry, I just find that hard to believe." He came around the car and took my hand. "I mean, have you _seen_ you?"

I chose to not answer that question as we entered the house.

xxxxx

"Alice?" I said quietly in Computer class the next day. Mrs. Gordon was across the room, but she didn't like it when people talked in her class.

"Yeah?" She leaned in closer to me, pretending to be looking at my screen to help me out with the problem we were supposed to be working on.

"How does this whole Valentine's thing work?" I had been pondering this all night. "I mean, do you give each other presents?"

"Well, I got something for Jasper." She thought for a moment. "But you're still in the just-started-dating phase, so I think it's a little early for that."

"Good." Since I hadn't realized the proximity to Valentine's Day, I hadn't even thought about getting Edward something.

"But then again, I know my brother." She giggled. "And it wouldn't surprise me if he did get you something. But don't worry, he won't expect anything in return."

I groaned.

"Did you have to say that?"

I had a feeling she knew something I didn't. This of course had me wondering what he might have gotten me for the rest of the class.

xxxxx

Halfway through P.E., Jessica joined me at the side of the court, having tripped and hit her knee.

"Are you OK?" I asked as she sat down.

She glanced over at couch Clapp, who was demonstrating some move to a couple of guys near one of the hoops.

"It's fine, it didn't really hurt, I just wanted to get out of playing."

"Ah, the old trip-and-fall routine. I've used it many times." I frowned. "Of course, I usually don't have to fake tripping." She laughed at that.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?"

"We're going to the Kalaloch Lodge restaurant." I replied.

"Really? That place is great; I went there with my parents once. Oh, I bet it'll be sooo romantic."

"I doubt it. We're triple dating with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie."

"On Valentine's Day?" Jessica frowned.

"Alice already had reservations, so I thought why not." I shrugged. "I mean, we're all friends."

"I guess." She didn't sound convince, so I decided to distract her.

"What are you and Mike doing?"

"I don't know!" Her face lit up. "He said he wants it to be a surprise."

She spent the rest of the period talking about potential scenarios for her evening with Mike.

"You ready to take off?" I gratefully looked up from her rambling at Edward's voice.

"Sure." I got up and grabbed my bag. "Have fun tonight, Jess. See you on Monday."

"Bye, you guys have fun too." She waved as we walked out of the gym.

"So, what are Jessica and Boy Wonder doing tonight?" I laughed at his nickname for Mike.

"He's surprising her, so I don't know." I noticed a frown forming on his face. Did he worry that I had wanted him to surprise me? I hurried to continue. "I mean, personally I hate surprises, but she's over the moon about it." He visibly relaxed.

"Imagine the disappointment if he just takes her to the movies or something." He opened the car door for me. "I hope, for Mike's sake, that he has something amazing planned."

"Probably best for everybody's peace of mind." I agreed.

"Are you looking forward to tonight?" He asked after a moment.

"I get to spend the evening with you, don't I?" I hoped that didn't sound too pathetic, but he just smiled.

"I think you've got that backwards."

"What's this place like, anyway? I've never been there."

"It's nice. Not evening gown, tuxedo nice, but you might want to skip the jeans."

"Duly noted."

He dropped me off at home, with the promise of being back to pick me up at six thirty. The reservation was for seven, and since we wouldn't all fit in one car, we were driving there separately.

I spent two hours trying to decide what to wear. In the end, I settled for the first outfit I had tried on; a comfortable, khaki skirt – the only one I owned – and the blue top I had worn on our first date. I topped it off with a gold necklace I had gotten from mom on my birthday, and was done just as there was a knock on the door.

"Dad? Can you get it? I'll be right down." I called down the stairs

I heard Charlie grumble as he went to open the door.

"Hello Edward."

"Hi Chief Swan. Is Bella ready?"

"I'm here." I tripped on the last step in my hurry to get downstairs, and Edward immediately reached out to stop me from falling. But I got a hold of the railing with my right hand. "Hi." I greeted when I had regained my balance.

"Hey." He smiled at me. "You look nice."

"You too." I gave him a once over. He was wearing black trousers and a light blue shirt under the jacket.

"Midnight, Bells." Charlie said before we left. He had been pretty set about my brand new curfew the past couple of weeks, but allowed me to come home later if the movie we went to – I won't call it watched, because there really was no watching – ended later than that.

Sticking with our 'tradition' I picked out a CD from the glove compartment as Edward got into the driver's seat. I found Green Day's _Nimrod_ and was about to put it into the CD-player when Edward stopped me.

"What?"

"I've got something for you." He pulled a CD-case out of the inner pocket of his jacket and handed it to me. "I thought we could listen to it on the way."

"I didn't get anything for you, I didn't know if…" He cut me off by pulling me closer and kissing me.

"That's all I want." He said, pulling back, and I smiled goofily.

"Now who's low maintenance?"

"Guilty as charged." He chuckled.

I popped the CD into the stereo, and Regina Spektor's _Samson_ started playing.

"I hope I got all of your favorites."

"Thank you." I gave him another kiss, which he returned thoroughly. After a few minutes he pulled away, both of us gasping for breath.

"We should get going." He reluctantly started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

The impromptu make-out session in the car meant that we got to the restaurant a little late, something that Emmett, of course, immediately picked up on.

"What have you two been up to then?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively, and I blushed. Rosalie slapped him over the head.

"Behave!" Alice told him, coming over and looping her arm with mine. "Let's go."

The waiter showed us to a table right by the windows, overlooking the water, and the view really was amazing.

"Wow." I mumbled, taking it all in.

"I told you." Alice said, sitting down at the table.

Edward pulled out the chair next to Alice and I sat down, giving him a grateful smile.

"My brother, ever the gentleman." Emmett snickered.

"I wouldn't hurt you to be a bit more like him every now and then." Rosalie noted pointedly.

"I swear, bro, sometimes I wonder if you were born in the wrong century." Emmett glared at Edward. "And can you keep that to a minimum around Rose? I don't want her getting a bunch of ideas." Rosalie slapped him over the head again, and the rest of us laughed.

"Would you like to order drinks right away?" The waited wondered.

"Cokes all around?" Emmett suggested, and everyone but Rosalie nodded.

"Diet for me, please." She smiled sweetly at the waiter.

"Coming right up." The waiter blinked, looked away from Rose and walked off towards the kitchen, shaking his head in what looked like an attempt to gather his thoughts.

"You shouldn't dazzle people like that." Edward looked at Rosalie pointedly, but she only raised an eyebrow at him.

Dazzle… that was a good word. It was exactly what he did to me every now and then himself.

"Oh, please, bro." Emmett huffed. "Like you don't use the fact that girls fall all over you. Like when you got us backstage at that concert last year, I felt sorry for the poor girl, really… ow!" Rosalie had elbowed him in the ribs. "What?"

She just rolled her eyes at him and then looked over at me. Emmett seemed to finally get the hint.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that." He quickly assured me. "He just convinced her to let us backstage, it's not like he did anything…"

"Emmett." Edward interrupted. "I'm begging you not to help me."

"Really, you don't need to." I piped in. "I mean, come on." I looked at Edward, who seemed more than a little uncomfortable. "I get that you had a life before I came along. It's fine."

"It's just Emmett." Alice rolled her eyes at her brother. "I'm not sure he's ever actually heard of tact."

"Tact's overrated." Emmett brushed off. "I'd rather be honest."

Luckily, the waiter brought our drinks at that moment, and the topic was dropped.

The food turned out to be almost as amazing as the view, and when we had finished eating, everyone agreed that deserts were in order.

It was almost ten by the time we left the restaurant. We said goodbye to the others and Edward drove me home.

Charlie had gotten a lot better at not calling to ask where I was when I was out with Edward. Still, we parked a couple of blocks from the house, just in case he'd look out the window.

"I'm sorry about Emmett." Edward started, but I shook my head.

"Like I said, I get that you had a life before we met."

"But there's no need for Emmett to bring it up, especially today. It's like whatever pops into his head immediately makes it out his mouth."

"I kind of like that, actually." I said. "You don't have to wonder where he stands."

"I guess that's true." He agreed. "Still, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing! Or I'm going home right now." I reached for the door handle, but he stopped me.

"Don't go." He pulled me closer, tilting my head up so he could place a kiss on my nose.

"You missed." I reached up to kiss him properly.

xxxxx

"Morning Bells." Charlie greeted as I came down into the kitchen the next day. "Have a good night?"

"Yeah, the Kalaloch Lodge is really nice."

"It is, and that view."

"You're not going fishing today?" I poured some cereal into a bowl as I spoke. Charlie had been fishing with Billy or some other friend every Saturday since I had moved to Forks, so it was quite a surprise to find him in the kitchen this morning.

"I am, I'm leaving in a little while. I was waiting for you to get up first."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"Just to tell you that I'll be going straight over to Billy's tonight after we're done fishing, there's a game on." I started wondering where he was going with this. "And I thought that you might want to have Edward over, since you've got the house all to yourself."

"Oh." We hadn't talked about what we were doing tonight, but he had promised that it would be just the two of us, and that would be difficult at the Cullens'. "I guess. We might watch a movie or something." Or something.

"Well, I just wanted to set some ground rules if he's coming over." He was starting to blush as he said this, and I began to dread what was coming. "I don't want him in your bedroom when I'm not in the house. Or when I am, for that matter."

"Dad." I felt the color in my face start to match his. "We'll just watch TV and order take-out."

"Yeah, well, I know teenage boys." He gave me a pointed look. "I used to be one."

"Come on, dad, we've only dated for a few weeks. It's not like that."

He pondered my words for a moment, and seemed to be assured.

"If you say so, Bells. Just… be careful, will you?"

Was that Charlie's version of The Sex Talk? If it was, it wasn't a very good one. I decided that it was best to just go with it, and keep us both from any further embarrassment.

"Sure dad."

He left shortly after that, still looking uncomfortable.

As soon as I had finished breakfast and cleaned up in the kitchen, I called Edward.

"_Morning."_

"Good morning." I smiled at the sleepy undertone in his voice. "Did I wake you?"

"_Nah, just haven't had my morning shot of caffeine yet."_

"Right."

"_Did you sleep well?"_

"Very." I remembered the dream I'd had just before I woke up. It hadn't been anything special; we had just been walking hand-in-hand through the woods by his house. "Turns out Charlie's off to Billy's place for a game tonight, so I've got the whole house to myself."

"_Do you now?"_

"Yep. Thought you might want to come over. Watch a movie or something."

"_Sounds like a plan."_ I heard Emmett yell something in the background. _"I've promised Emm and Jazz that I would go with them to Newton's to get some stuff for our camping trip next weekend though, so how about I come over in a couple of hours, after lunch?"_

Great. I had almost managed to forget that camping trip. For some reason, unfathomable to me, the Cullen men had a tradition of going camping in the middle of winter. Alice had, however, promised to keep me occupied. We were going to Seattle with Rosalie on Saturday to get them both dresses for the Sadie Hawkins dance that was only three weeks away now, and then we were doing a girls-night-slumber-party with movies and manicures. Which I still needed to talk to Charlie about.

"That'll be great." I'd have plenty of time to clean up the place.

"_OK. I've got__ to go, Emmett's breathing down my neck. See you in a while."_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and headed upstairs to throw on some sweats for my cleaning spree.

Despite the fact that my cast still made me a little slower than usual, I'd had time to clean the house, do a couple of loads of laundry, shower and finish my homework by the time the doorbell rang. I shot a look in the mirror before heading downstairs to open.

"Hey." I stood up on my tip-toes to get a kiss hello, and he happily obliged.

"Quite the welcoming committee." He chuckled when I pulled away, stepping aside so he could come inside.

"A girl can't be happy to see her boyfriend?" He pulled me close as we went into the living room.

"Missed you too." He mumbled into my hair, and the sincerity in his voice almost made me shiver. I had already surrendered to the idea that I was falling completely, unequivocally and helplessly in love with him, and the thought that he might be feeling only a fraction of what I felt was comforting.

We spent a couple of hours half-watching Animal Planet before we ordered Mexican food from Plaza Jalisco. When we had eaten, I put _The House of the Spirits_ into the DVD-player. I loved the book, and had borrowed the DVD from Angela the previous week.

"I actually want to see this movie, so no funny business, mister." I tried to put on a stern look, but he only laughed at me.

"I'll try to behave." He promised, patting the seat next to him on the couch. "I can't guarantee anything on your part, though." I playfully slapped his arm before pulling my legs up underneath me and cuddling into his side.

At some point during the movie, we lay down on the couch to get more comfortable. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt Edward gently shake me awake.

"Charlie's home." He mumbled, and I quickly rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"It's almost midnight." We had turned the movie on at nine, but I wasn't sure how long I had managed to stay awake. "About two hours."

"You should have woken me up." I struggled to free myself from the blanket Edward must have gotten off the back of the couch while I slept.

"You looked so cute, I couldn't." He chuckled a little. "Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep?"

Crap.

"What did I say?" I didn't remember what I'd dreamt.

"Not much that was coherent. But you said my name a couple of times."

Great. Just great. I felt a blush rising on my cheeks. I swung my legs over the side of the couch and sat up.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed." He sat up next to me and ran a finger down the side of my cheek. "I dream about you."

"Really?"

"All the time." He kissed me lightly.

I had forgotten that Charlie was outside until the front door opened. I quickly got to my feet, Edward following my lead.

"Bells?"

We went into the hallway to meet him.

"Hey dad." He looked at me, then glared at Edward.

"You still here?"

"I was just leaving, sir."

I got a look at myself in the mirror, and realized I had bed hair.

"I fell asleep on the couch when we were watching a movie." I said, running my hand through my hair to straighten it out a little.

"Uh-huh." Charlie passed us and headed into the kitchen. Apparently, he had decided that he didn't want to know.

"I think I'd better head out." Edward said, having picked up on the tension from Charlie.

"That might be best." I agreed grudgingly.

He kissed me goodnight and promised to call the next day.

I decided that I didn't want to deal with Charlie just then, so I just popped my head into the kitchen and said goodnight before heading upstairs. He only grumbled in response.

Just as I had turned the lights off, my phone chirped with a message.

_I hope I didn't get you in trouble with Charlie. Sleep tight, and dream about me – E_

I did just that.


	7. 7 The Sleepover

**AN: Well, here's chapter seven for you**** – a little quality girl time. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers – you're the best!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all…**

**7 – The Sleepover**

I managed to successfully repress the thought of the camping trip Edward was going on – and the subsequent shopping spree and sleepover – the whole week. When I was reminded by Alice that she and Rose were picking me up at seven thirty the following morning – the drive to Seattle would take three and a half hours – it was already Friday afternoon, and I still hadn't told Charlie about our plans.

Edward and I had decided to stay in Forks that night, going to the Smoke House Restaurant, since he was leaving for the camping trip early in the morning. When I had finished getting ready for our date, I headed downstairs to talk to Charlie.

"Dad?" He was watching a baseball game on TV.

"Yeah Bells?" His attention remained on the television.

"I know I probably should have told you about this earlier, but Alice and Rosalie and I are going to Seattle to do some shopping tomorrow. They're looking for dresses for the Sadie Hawkins dance."

"That sounds nice; it'll be good for you to get out of this place for a while, you must be missing the city buzz." He looked away from the TV, a frown on his face. "You're not getting a dress?"

"No, I don't need a dress because I'm not going to the dance."

"Why not? Edward doesn't want to go?" He huffed. "Because you don't need a date to go to a dance."

"No, dad, Edward does want to go. I don't." Did I really need to explain this to him? I wasn't like I'd gotten my two left feet from Renée. "I've already made enough of a fool of myself by tripping in front of everyone at school; I really don't think I need to add to the "total klutz" reputation by attempting to dance." I held up my cast as evidence A.

"Oh, right." He nodded. "I get that. I just don't want you to miss out on all the high school stuff you should be doing."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think I'll be able to get out of going to the prom." Edward had hinted that he wouldn't take no for an answer, and Alice had already mentioned another shopping trip in the beginning of May, when, according to her, the "good dresses" would be in the stores.

"That's good." He turned his attention back to the game on the screen.

"And then we're having a girls' night at the Cullens', you know, movies, manicures and sleepover." I continued.

"You want to stay the night there?" Oh, goody. I had his full attention again.

"Yeah…"

"Out of the question! I don't want you sleeping in the same house as that boy."

"Edward isn't going to be there. He's going camping with Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper." I quickly explained. "That's why we chose this weekend for the sleepover."

"Oh really?" I could hear the doubt in his voice.

"Do you want to call Carlisle and ask him? He's working late at the hospital tonight, but I'm sure he'd take five minutes off from saving lives to assure you that he's not trying to corrupt your daughter." I hoped he picked up on the sarcasm.

Charlie hesitated for a moment.

"No, that's OK. I trust you, Bells."

"So it's OK then? I can stay over?"

"Sure. You could probably use a little girl time, being stuck with just me all the time."

I honestly wasn't looking forward to the 'girl' part of the night that much – manicures had never really been my thing. But hanging out with Alice and Rosalie was going to be fun. Alice and I had become very good friends in the past couple of weeks, and Rose and I were making progress too.

"Great!" The doorbell rang then, and I hurried to let Edward into the house.

"Hello, sir." He greeted. I had tried to hint to Charlie that he might encourage Edward to call him Charlie instead of sir or Chief Swan, but either he hadn't heard me, or he'd chosen to ignore me.

"Hi there." Charlie only looked away from the TV for a moment to return the greeting. "What are your plans for tonight then?"

"Well, we've got a reservation at the Smoke House in fifteen minutes, and then I thought I'd show Bella First Beach in La Push." Edward said. "It's supposed to be a clear night, and you can really see the stars out there. I have to get up early tomorrow, so we'll probably be back by ten or so."

"Right, Bella told me about the camping trip. I've never been in the winter, personally, but I hear it's supposed to be nice."

"It is. Especially with the snow; it's practically completely silent in the woods."

"You'd better bring warm clothes; I hear it's supposed to get down to the high twenties tomorrow."

"Don't worry, sir, we're all set." I decided it was time to end the male bonding session, and tugged Edward with me towards the door.

"Bye dad, see you later."

"Bye Bells, have fun."

"What was that all about?" I wondered as I flipped through the CDs in the Camaro's glove compartment, choosing _Learning to Breathe _with Switchfoot. _I Dare You to Move_ filled the car as Edward pulled out of the driveway.

"I can't be nice to your dad?" He glanced at me, eyebrows raised.

"Sure you can, but that was borderline sucking up." Sure I wanted Charlie to like Edward, but I just wasn't keen on the idea of my dad and my boyfriend bonding too much.

"You talk to Esme all the time." He pointed out, and I realized he had a point. I just didn't think of Esme that way, since I didn't have a problem talking to her about stuff.

"I guess you're right." I shrugged.

"Every time the two of you are off in the kitchen or something, I wonder when she's going to pull out the baby pictures and embarrass me for life." He admitted, and I laughed.

"I'm sure you were a very cute baby."

"I still don't want her showing them to you."

We spent the rest of the short ride to the restaurant discussing embarrassing things our parents had done over the years.

At the Smoke House, a female waitress showed us to a corner table. As she took our drink orders, she deliberately turned her back on me and focused on Edward. When I saw her wink at him before walking away, my eyes widened.

"What was her problem?" I grumbled as soon as she was out of earshot.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on! She was totally flirting with you! Right in front of me." He raised an eyebrow at that.

"She was?"

"You're telling me you didn't notice?" I asked incredulously.

"My attention happens to be otherwise engaged." He reached over the table, took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my palm.

"That's nice to know." The waitress had been very pretty.

He didn't let go of my hand, and when the waitress returned with our drinks, I noticed her glare at our intertwined fingers.

"Can I take your orders, or do you need a minute?" She asked, still completely ignoring me.

"I'll have the grilled ribeye steak, what do you want, babe?"

I raised a questioning eyebrow at the word. He had never called me anything like that before. As the waitress reluctantly turned her attention to me, he winked at me, and I had to stifle a laugh that was threatening to escape.

"Oh, I'm not sure, honey." I said, playing along. "Everything looks so good. But I think I'll have the smoked salmon."

The waitress scribbled down my order, and left without another word. I broke into a giggle when she was safely in the kitchen.

"That was great, thank you."

"I didn't like the way she was looking at you." He shrugged.

"_I _didn't like the way she was looking at _you_." I countered.

"Yeah, that was a bit… unsettling."

"Are you telling me that you're not used to girls checking you out? Because that would kind of surprise me."

"I don't know. Emmett always teases me about girls ogling me, but I guess I'm usually not aware of it. I doubt I would have noticed her looking if you hadn't actually pointed it out to me."

"Really?" He just shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. I smiled to make him more comfortable. "Well, I'm glad. At least I won't have to worry about you running off with the first hot girl hitting on you."

"You know I would never do that, don't you?" He frowned.

"I know, I know." I assured him. And I did. Most of the time, anyway. "I just get self-conscious every now and then."

"Me too." He admitted.

That was comforting.

"Good to know."

I only realized that we had leaned closer and closer together over the table and that our faces were only inches apart when the waitress cleared her throat next to us. I quickly pulled back and Edward did the same.

The waitress didn't bother us more that evening.

xxxxx

"Do you feel like driving out to La Push to check out the beach?" Edward asked as we walked to the car. "It's not even eight thirty, and it only takes about twenty minutes to get there."

"Sure." I didn't want the evening to end just yet, especially since I wouldn't see him again until Sunday afternoon. "I haven't been there in ages, but I remember that I liked to go there when I visited Charlie in the summers."

We drove in comfortable silence, the only sound filling the car coming from the stereo.

I was afraid that it would be completely dark when we got there, but the almost full moon spread a silvery light over the snow on the rocky stretch of beach leading down to the water that was glittering in the moonlight.

"Wow." I mumbled. It was beautiful.

"I know. It's pretty amazing." He put his arm around my waist as we made our way down to the beach, only partially so I wouldn't slip. We found a fallen tree a few feet from the edge of the water; Edward brushed off the snow that was covering it before we sat down on a blanket he had brought from the car. The air was cold, and I shivered a little despite my thick jacket. Edward pulled me closer.

"I wish I could find the constellations." I mumbled, my eyes on the star spangled, seemingly endless darkness above us.

"That's Ursa Major right there." Edward pointed up at the sky. "And Orion's belt over there."

"You just know everything, don't you?"

"Far from it." He shook his head. "Alice went through a space-phase when we were nine; she read everything she could get her hands on. I picked up a few things, and I guess some of it stuck."

We sat looking at the stars in silence.

"I feel so small." I said after a moment.

"Looking into the vast eternities of the universe will do that to you."

"And to think that a lot of the stars we can see have already died a long time ago…"

"It's not something you should think about too hard, unless you want to go insane." He chuckled.

"But they're still pretty to look at."

"Not as pretty as you."

"That was a little cheesy, you know that right?" I giggled.

"I know, but you gave me such an opening, I just couldn't resist." He smirked at me.

"I guess I can let it slide just this once."

"Very gracious of you."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, and silence fell over us again. After a moment I heard him sigh next to me.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking about something." I waited for him to continue. "About what we talked about at the restaurant earlier, how easy it is to get self-conscious from time to time."

"Yeah?" I wondered what he was getting at.

"It's just… to me, the way I feel about you is so obvious that I've never reflected on the fact that it may not be to you. So I thought I'd better let you know." I held my breath as he seemed to ponder what to say. He looked down at me, a small smile on his face. "I'm in love with you. I know it's only been, what? A month? But that's how I feel." He looked away from me, staring out over the water in front of us.

I realized that he was afraid I didn't feel the same, and I suddenly understood what he had said about how his feelings were obvious to him but may not be me. It was the other way around as well.

"Well, that's nice to know, considering the fact that I'm completely in love with you too."

"Really?" He looked down at me again, doubt lingering in his eyes.

"Of course. I thought it was obvious, but like you said…" I was interrupted by his lips on mine.

xxxxx

I woke up when my phone chirped the next morning. I glanced over at my clock radio as I reached for the phone. A quarter to seven; I had set the alarm to five minutes later.

_Good morning, beautiful. __We just left Forks, and I thought I'd give you a nice wake-up call, hope it's appreciated. I will miss you and I will see you tomorrow night. Have fun with Ali and Rose, and don't let them get their way about everything – E_

A smile spread on my face as I read the words. A nice wake-up call indeed. I shut the alarm off before it had the chance to go off, and jumped out of bed, practically skipping into the bathroom to take a shower.

Charlie was in the kitchen when I came downstairs twenty minutes later.

"Morning, Bells." He glanced up from the paper he was reading.

"Morning." I fixed up some eggs and bacon for breakfast, sitting down opposite him to eat.

"Are you coming back here tonight before you head over to the Cullens'?" He wondered, and I shook my head.

"I don't think so." I had packed a small overnight bag that I was bringing in the car. "I don't know when we'll get back, really. It is a pretty long drive."

"It is. Alice does drive carefully, right? The snow can be tricky, and I don't want you girls to get into an accident."

"Yes dad, we'll be careful." Hadn't we already had this conversation?

Just when I had finished brushing my teeth, my phone chirped for the second time that morning.

_We're outside, let's go! _

I grabbed my overnight bag and purse and hurried down the stairs.

"I'm going now, dad, see you tomorrow." I called into the kitchen as I passed.

"Bye, Bells, have fun." He called back.

I saw that Alice had borrowed the Volvo for our little excursion, and put my bag in the trunk before getting into the backseat.

"Good morning!" Alice greeted me, more chipper than what should be legal so early on a Saturday.

"Morning Alice, Rosalie." I only got a mumble and a wave of the hand in return from Rose, who I noticed was wearing sunglasses.

"She just needs some more caffeine." Alice explained, pulling out of the driveway. "We're stopping by the coffee shop on the way, because, believe me, you do not want to spend the day with a caffeine-deprived Rose!" Rosalie muttered something under her breath in reply.

I waited in the car with Rose as Alice bounced into the coffee shop. She came back a few minutes later with three large paper cups.

"Large coffees all around." She handed one of the cups to me, and I took a long sip. Heavenly.

Rosalie gulped down half of her coffee before Alice even got out of the parking lot. When we got out onto the highway, she had finished the rest too and tossed the cup on the floor. She took off her sunglasses and turned around in her seat.

"That's better. Good morning!"

"Good morning." I returned her smile.

"I'm barely even human before I get at least two cups of coffee, and Alice dragged me out of the house after only one this morning." She explained, shooting an annoyed glance at Alice.

"We were late." Alice pointed out. "Plus, it's not good to drink too much coffee." Rosalie rolled her eyes at this.

"I hope you're all set for this, we will be dragging you to every dress shop in town." Rosalie warned me.

"I had kind of figured that one out already." I replied. "And that's fine, as long as I get at least fifteen minutes in a bookstore and a veto on anything too hideous. Emmett made me promise."

"That's what we need you for." Alice chimed in.

"You haven't changed your mind about getting a dress for yourself?" Rosalie wondered, turning back in her seat.

"Oh no." I shook my head. "That won't work, Edward already tried."

"It was worth a shot." Rose shrugged.

"You know, it's really a little mean to Edward." Alice narrowed her eyes at me in the rearview mirror. "I mean, since it's Sadie Hawkins and everything, and you haven't asked him."

"He knows why." I wasn't going to let her guilt me into going.

"But still. I know he would never say anything, but I think he's really disappointed." She glanced at me in the mirror again.

"Wow. You're good." I acknowledged. "But not good enough."

"Damn!"

Rosalie laughed at Alice's dejected tone.

We arrived in Seattle a little after eleven, and quickly made our way to 4th Avenue and the downtown shopping district.

By one thirty, both Alice and Rosalie had found the, quote, "perfect dresses" at Macy's, and we made our way to Unconventional Pizza on Pike Street where Alice vowed that the greatest ziti in the world was served. Both Rosalie and Alice ordered that, but I opted for the lasagna, which was wonderful.

After lunch, we strolled up and down the streets without much of a goal. The dress shopping out of the way, I was granted a full half hour in a great little place called Left Bank Books Collective. I came out of it with twenty dollars less than I'd had going in, but with an old paper-back edition of _Sense and Sensibility_ and a leather-bound copy of _The Waste Land_.

"Are you happy now?" Alice asked as I joined her and Rosalie in a shoe store a few shops down.

"Ecstatic." I assured her, sitting down next to Rose on a bench by the window. Alice was trying on two different shoes, one silvery and one green.

"Which ones should I get?" She wondered, twirling around in front of the mirror with a frown on her face. "The dress _is_ green…"

"It's always difficult to get the exact same color when you try to match." Rosalie warned her. "I would go with the silvery ones."

"What do you think, Bella?" Alice turned to me.

"I have to agree with Rose. Plus, you'll be able to use them more than you would the green ones." I wasn't sure rationality was the way to go when it came to Alice and shopping, but she seemed satisfied with my answer.

"Silver it is." She took off both shoes and put the green one back on the shelf.

We walked around the shopping district for a few more hours, going in to stores when we felt like it. When Alice suggested we'd get coffee and something to eat before heading back home, it was almost five o'clock.

We went to a place on 4th Avenue called Seattle's Best Coffee, which, surprisingly enough, actually had really good coffee.

The drive home somehow felt like it took a lot less time than the drive there, which was something I had always found strange, and we were back at the Cullens' at a quarter past nine. As soon as we entered the house, we were met by Esme.

"Did you have a good shopping trip?" She wondered.

"Oh yeah, we both found dresses." Alice reached for her Macy's bag and pulled out the dress to show Esme. It was a brilliant, dark green, had glittering stones on the strapless bodice and almost reached the floor.

"That's very pretty." Esme admired. "And you, Rose?"

Rose's dress was a simpler, black one with spaghetti straps. It was cut low both in the front and back and came to just below her knees. She had gotten black, high-heeled sandals to match.

"Emmett is totally going to lose it." Alice giggled.

"I think I have to agree with her." Esme said. "But I do hope the weather gets better in time for the dance, or you're both going to freeze your butts off."

"Which is why God created pantyhose." Alice skipped up the stairs with her bags and Rosalie followed.

"I hope they didn't bore you too much with their dress shopping." Esme said, going into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

"No, it was fun." I joined her. It had been fun. "And I got some quality book-shopping-time in too, so everyone's happy."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Alice and Rosalie quickly came back downstairs, and we ordered pizza before Alice popped _10 things I hate about you into _the DVD player.

We paused the movie when the pizza guy arrived, and were just about to turn it back on when I got a text message. Alice raised an eyebrow at me and Rosalie smirked. I chose to ignore them both completely.

_I hope you survived Seattle with Alice and Rose, and if not, I__'m very sorry :-)__ We're about to turn in here, and I just wanted to say that I wish you were here. It's cold and dark, but I know your presence alone would brighten the woods. Enjoy the girls' night, and I'll see you tomorrow – E_

"What did my dear brother want?" Alice asked, seemingly casual, as I flipped the phone shut.

"Alice!" Esme gave her a pointed look. "That's really none of your business."

"It's OK, Esme." I smiled at her before glaring at Alice. "Butt out!"

"Oh, come on!" She whined. "It's really all my doing that you're even together in the first place, shouldn't I get some good gossip in return?"

"I thought you said you didn't want details?" I reminded her.

"True." She nodded. "Nothing too graphic, I mean, eew! He _is_ my brother. But I miss that just-started-dating-can't-spend-a-moment-apart feeling. Don't get me wrong, I love my Jasper, but it's so exciting when it's all new."

I grabbed a slice of the pizza as I pondered how to get out of Alice's request.

"You're embarrassing her, Alice." Rosalie elbowed Alice in the ribs.

"Fine. You're off the hook… for now!" Alice wagged her eyebrows at me before turning the movie back on.

It was half past eleven by the time the movie was over, and we realized that the manicures would have to wait until the following day. Whish was completely fine by me… hopefully, Alice would have forgotten about it then, though I wasn't holding my breath.

"Where are we sleeping?" I asked Rosalie as we climbed the stairs.

"My room." She replied. "It's not a real slumber party if we don't all sleep in the same room. I have a pull-out couch that you and Alice can sleep in."

"And we can have a pillow fight, and fulfill the fantasy that every teenage boy through history has had about girls-only-sleepovers." Alice added.

"How about we just tell the guys that we had a pillow fight?" Rosalie suggested through a yawn. I realized that I was really tired too – the day had been a lot of fun, but also very long.

"I'm with Rose on this one."

We took turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom, and when I returned to Rosalie's room, she and Alice had already fixed the pull-out couch and were in bed. I crawled in next to Alice, and pulled the cover up to my chin.

"Does anyone snore?" I wondered.

"Nope, you?" Alice pushed herself up on her elbow.

"No, but I do talk in my sleep sometimes." I regretted telling them the moment the words came out of my mouth.

"We know." Rosalie replied.

"He told you?" For some reason, I found that a little intruding. It was personal.

"Not intentionally, he just accidentally let it slip to Emmett, and he, of course, cannot keep a secret." Alice gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, he made us promise not to say anything to you." She glared at Rosalie.

"It's OK. As long as you promise to wake me up if I start talking about something embarrassing."

"Define "embarrassing"." Alice teased me. I threw a pillow at her, and she giggled. "I thought you were too tired for a pillow fight!"

"I don't like it when they go camping." Rosalie complained, and I silently thanked her for changing the subject. It turned out that I was a little too early. "I'm not used to sleeping alone; I get all… wound up."

"I don't think it's the "sleeping alone" part that gets you wound up." Alice giggled.

"Very true." Rosalie bit her lip, contemplating something for a moment. "Which reminds me." She took something from the drawer in her bedside table and tossed it to me. It landed on the cover in front of me, and I picked it up. I immediately blushed deeply – It was a box of condoms.

"Now who's embarrassing her, Rose?" Alice laughed.

"Oh, come on. Better safe than sorry, right?"

"But do you have to be so blunt about it?" Alice complained.

"Guys, it's not like that." I mumbled. "I mean, we're not… we haven't…"

"It's only a matter of time." Rosalie shrugged.

I wished the ground would just open up and swallow me. But, of course, that never happened when you actually wanted it to.

xxxxx

I did not manage to escape the manicures the following day – and Alice decided to throw in pedicures as well. The manicure was OK, but I found out that I definitely didn't like people touching my feet.

"If you just sit still, this will turn out a lot better." Alice informed me as I fidgeted in the kitchen chair she had brought into the living room.

"Come on, Alice, nobody ever sees my feet anyway. Why in the world do I need red nail polish on my toenails?" I complained.

"It's the time of global warming." Rosalie said from her relaxed position on the couch. "You never know when there's going to be a heat-wave, and you need to break out the sandals."

"I highly doubt that there'll be a heat-wave in Washington in March." I replied dryly. She just shrugged and turned her attention back to the fashion magazine she was flipping through.

"There, all done!" Alice announced, and I sighed in relief.

"Finally." I got out of the chair.

"You have to be careful, the polish isn't dry yet." Alice told me, and I obediently hobbled over to the couch on my heels. I was glad I had nail polish remover at home.

I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels, nothing catching my attention.

"Will you stop that, you're making me dizzy." Rosalie took the remote from me and we ended up on HBO, where there was a _Sex and the City_ marathon. "Nice." Rose put the magazine away and turned her attention to the TV.

"Anyone hungry?" Esme asked, coming down the stairs. "I thought I'd fix some chicken salad for lunch."

"Sounds great, mom." Alice skipped into the kitchen. "I'll give you a hand."

"Do you need help?" I asked over my shoulder.

"No, sweetie, you watch TV with Rose." Esme disregarded with a wave of her hand. I turned my attention back to the screen, where Steve and Miranda were talking.

We turned the TV off to have some lunch, and then Alice and Esme joined us on the couch and we continued to watch Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.

By the time the final episode ended, it was six o'clock.

"Shouldn't they be back soon?" I asked no-one in particular.

"Battle Ground Lake is almost a four hour drive from here." Alice replied, checking her watch. "They'll probably be back around eight or so."

"Oh." I hadn't thought they were going so far away. "Where is it?"

"Close to Vancouver." Rosalie said. "They usually go hiking in the Casacde Mountains."

"Let's watch a movie." Alice suggested, going over to the DVD collection next to the TV. "We only had time to watch one last night."

"I need popcorn." Rosalie announced, heading into the kitchen. We waited until she came back and then turned the movie Alice had picked, _Panic Room_, on. All four of us curled up on the couch and Alice spread a blanket over our legs.

The movie had just finished when we heard a car pull up outside.

"And they're back." Alice said, and she and Esme headed into the kitchen to start a late dinner.

I really wanted to go meet the guys outside, but I managed to restrain myself and stayed on the couch with Rose.

"We're back." Carlisle announced as he came into the house, Emmett, Jasper and Edward close behind him. Edward searched the room for a moment until his eyes found me on the couch and then a smile spread on his face.

"Hey." He sat down beside me and pulled me in close for a kiss. "I missed you."

"Me too." I mumbled, all too aware of his family around us.

"Did you enjoy the girls' weekend?"

"Yeah." I frowned at my toes. "Except for the pedicure part."

He reviewed my toenails.

"Nice color." He chuckled, and I glared at him.

"If you're not nice, I'll do yours when you're sleeping." Alice threatened from the kitchen, and it was my turn to laugh.

"You wouldn't dare." He pulled me up from the couch. "Come on."

"Dinner's in half an hour." Esme called after us as we climbed the stairs.

When we got to his room, I sat down in a corner of the couch and pulled up my legs up underneath me while he went to the entertainment set. When he had put a CD in the stereo, he joined me on the couch, and the first beats of _I Can't Get Through to Myself _filled the air.

"Just wanted some privacy from the piranhas downstairs." He put an arm around me and pulled me closer, and I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I love them and all, but they can be a bit much at times."

I blushed as I remembered the box of condoms, which were now safely hidden away in the bottom of my overnight bag. I buried my face against his chest so he wouldn't notice – I did not feel like explaining that right now.

"Did you have a good time camping?"

"I did, it's always nice to get into the open air."

"I'll take your word for it." Camping really wasn't my thing.

"But I didn't like being away from you, it made me… nervous."

"Why?" I looked up at him.

"Well, you're so accident prone, I kept imagining horrible things happening. Car accident on the way to Seattle, mugging, you name it."

"I'm not that fragile, you know." I pointed out, a little offended.

"I know." He kissed my temple. "Doesn't mean I don't worry."

"Worry all you want."

**AN: OK, before you even ask, the **_**Panic Room**_** part was intentional! I just couldn't resist… as always, please R&R!**


	8. 8 Three Little Words

**AN: Here's chapter eight for you guys, ****I hope you like it. This chapter is M-rated, for two reasons; first, the obvious one… and second, because of reference to drugs.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**8 –**** Three Little Words**

The next few months passed by quickly. Edward and I became closer than I had ever imagined possible; we talked about everything. Almost.

I told him about my disastrous attempt at learning ballet when I was seven – which had ended in a broken ankle and five stitches to my forehead – about how my mom had refused to get me a puppy after I had killed three goldfish in a brief period of time and about how much I had hated coming to Forks during the summers to visit Charlie.

He told me about the few memories he had of his parents, about what growing up with Emmett and Alice had been like, about their life in LA and how difficult it had been to adjust to the new life in Forks.

We talked about first kisses; mine had been with a boy named Andrew on the second day of kindergarten, his with a girl called Allison in first grade.

We talked about our fears and dreams about the future; he hoped to be able to live on his music at some point, but didn't know what to do until that. I had no clue what I wanted to do, just that I didn't want to end up like my mom – married at eighteen, with a kid on the way and stuck in a small, sleepy town in the middle of nowhere.

We talked about going to college somewhere warmer and sunnier than Forks, about things to do during the summer holidays and about how senior year would turn out.

The only thing he never mentioned – and I didn't bring up – was his last year in LA. He never said anything about why the Cullens had moved to Forks, other than that Carlisle had gotten a good offer from the hospital. He never talked about anything relating to his freshman year of high school.

I didn't ask because I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I still remembered Lauren's comment about a girlfriend in LA, and I didn't want to go down that road. Even if I had said that I was OK with him having a life before we met, I wasn't exactly eager to have my nose rubbed in it.

It was now the middle of May and I found myself once again on route to Seattle with Alice and Rose. Prom dresses were on the agenda, and this time I wouldn't be able to get out of it.

When I had tried to convince Edward that putting me on the dance floor among our fellow students was a very, very bad idea – I had finally gotten rid of the cast in March, but still had to rebuild the strength in the wrist, and I really didn't want to break anything else – he had simply looked at me.

"Do you really think that I would let you hurt yourself?" He had asked, sounding almost insulted.

"It's not just me I'm worried about." I mumbled in response.

"OK, how about this? I promise not to let you go for a single second."

I looked out the car window and smiled as I remembered the conversation. I had quickly given up as his green eyes had gazed into mine, jumbling all the thoughts in my head and effectively making me forget my initial standpoint.

"I really hope you're not going to change your mind about prom." Alice said from the driver's seat, pulling me from my little walk down memory lane.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm going?" I sighed.

"I won't believe it until I see you at the prom in a pretty dress." She replied, watching me through narrowed eyes in the rear view mirror.

"For the umpteenth time, Alice! I. Am. Going." Her refusal to believe me was starting to bug me. "I'm getting a dress, aren't I?"

"I'll believe it when I see it." She mumbled under her breath. If she hadn't been driving, I would have thrown something at her. Something hard. As it was, I settled for glaring angrily, which didn't do much since she had turned her attention back to the road.

"Do you honestly believe that I would place myself at the mercy of "Alice the shopaholic" if I wasn't serious about going?" I had, in what I now considered a moment of temporary insanity, promised that Alice could help me pick out a dress. Bad, bad idea.

"Just lay off her, Alice." Rosalie piped in from the passenger seat. "She's going shopping with us, what more do you want?"

"A little enthusiasm would be nice."

"Sorry, you're barking up the wrong asparagus. I said I'd go, but I won't promise to enjoy myself." The only thing I was enthusiastic about was the fact that Edward had promised to take me to his meadow the following day. It was supposed to be sunny and the warmest day so far this year, with temperatures in the low seventies.

I was hoping this meant that we were moving forward. As close as we had become over the past few months – emotionally – the physical part of our relationship had not developed.

I was pretty sure that he was more experienced than I was in that department, but even I could tell that it was getting more and more difficult – for both of us – to pull apart when we heard Charlie's car in the driveway or someone walked into the room or knocked on the door. I thought he wanted me, and I definitely wanted him.

I had come to the decision that if he didn't make a move soon, I would. Whether or not I would actually go through with that was a whole other matter, and I was way too nervous to be able to make any concrete plans as to what I would actually _do_.

"Hey, Distracto Girl. We're here." I looked up to find Alice smirking at me from the front seat. Rosalie had already gotten out of the car. "Must be some nice fantasy you've got there, there's a smile ten foot wide on your face." I blushed and quickly got out of the car.

"Macy's first?" Rosalie suggested, and both Alice and I nodded. Might as well get the prom dress shopping out of the way first, since I was hoping to revisit the bookstore I had found on our last trip.

We spent almost two hours in Macy's formal wear department, trying on more dresses than I had worn in my entire life.

"What about this one?" Alice said, coming out of her dressing room.

"That's definitely the one." Rosalie said, and I nodded in agreement.

The dress was light pink and strapless, came to right below the knee, and had a beautiful laced waist. There was also a lace hem and the skirt was lined with tulle.

"It looks amazing, Alice." I gave myself a once over in the full body mirror. "But I don't think this is it for me." I went back into the dressing room and changed into the next dress that Alice had picked out. I was surprised to find that I didn't feel uncomfortable at all when I left the small cubicle.

"Wow, Bella, it's beautiful." Alice complimented. I twirled around in front of the mirror, trying to see how the dress looked in the back.

"I actually like it." I concluded.

The dress was a dark blue color and had a white sash that formed a bow on the left side. It was also strapless and about the same length as Alice's dress.

"You should get it." Rosalie said. "It looks great on you."

"I think I will." I could actually imagine going to the prom in this dress, Edward's arm looped through mine… I smiled at the image.

"I'm torn between this one and the champagne one." Rosalie frowned at her own reflection. She had on a red, full length halter dress with a beaded bust line.

"Put the other one on again." Alice ordered and Rosalie disappeared into the changing room.

"I think I like this one better, but I don't know." She said as she emerged a few minutes later.

The dress was a pale champagne color, and had intricate embroideries on the strapless bodice. It flowed all the way down to the floor, accentuating Rosalie's slim body.

"I like this one better." Alice said.

"What do you think, Bella?" Rose wondered.

Both dresses looked stunning on her, of course.

"I think I agree with Alice, but they both look incredible."

"I'll go with the champagne one then." Rosalie decided. "I'm going to Beyond Bronze a couple of times before prom anyway, and the color will look even better with a bit of a tan."

"Definitely." Alice agreed, heading back into her dressing room to change back into her own clothes. Rosalie and I followed her lead.

"Now we just have to find shoes and accessories to go with the dresses." Rosalie called through the wall, and I groaned. I should have known that the dresses wouldn't be the end of it.

"Can we at least have lunch first?" Alice called back. "I'm starving."

We went to a Thai restaurant on Pike, and after we had finished I managed to work out a break in the prom mission to go to the bookstore again, since it was on the way back to Macy's. I emerged after twenty minutes, without having bought anything, but mentally prepared for the rest of the day.

I found Rose and Alice enjoying the sun on the corner of the street, and we headed back to Macy's.

By five o'clock, we had all found shoes, as well as some accessories. I had insisted that I didn't need any, but Alice had practically forced me to buy a necklace that she claimed would go perfectly with my dress.

We headed back to the car and stuffed our shopping bags in the trunk before leaving the city. Alice initiated a game of 'I Spy' in the car, which made the trip seem a lot shorter.

When we got closer to Forks, Rosalie called to make sure that the guys ordered pizza before we got to the house, since we were all starving. We stopped at Charlie's house so I could drop off my purchases before heading to the Cullens'.

"Everyone still alive? All limbs in place?" Emmett teased as we entered the house. Rosalie reciprocated by dumping her bags in his lap. "Ah, Victoria's Secret." He picked up a small, pink bag and Rosalie immediately snapped it out of his hands.

"That's not for right now." She told him, grabbing the rest of the bags and heading towards the stairs.

"Oh, come on babe!" He called after her, but she only shook her head.

"We were shopping for prom, remember?" She gave him a suggestive glance as she disappeared upstairs.

"You can't see the stuff we've gotten, it's bad luck." Alice declared, following Rosalie upstairs.

"Hey, Alice? I don't think that actually applies to prom." Emmett called.

"Whatever!" Came Alice's reply from the second floor.

"Come on, Bella, tell me what she got." Emmett pleaded with me.

"No way. I'm not getting in the middle of that. You'd have to torture me." Edward chuckled from his place on the couch, and I went to sit down next to him. "Hey."

"Hey." He replied, leaning close to me and giving me a hello kiss.

As he pulled away, I reached for a slice of one of the pizzas that were on the table in front of the couch.

"What are we watching?" Saturday night had long ago become movie-and-take-out night, while Friday was date-night.

"_The ring_." Emmett replied, smirking, and I groaned. He'd been wanting to watch that for weeks, but so far Rosalie and I had managed to avoid it. I absolutely hated horror movies.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you." Edward mumbled in my ear.

The movie was just as horrible as I had expected, and I complained as Edward drove me home.

"I'm going to have nightmares for days!"

Though I could, technically, drive myself again now, we had stuck to our arrangement of Edward picking me up before school and driving me home at the end of each date. Carlisle had said that I still needed to be careful with my wrist, but the actual reason was that it gave us plenty of time for making out in the car.

It was almost midnight when I finally made it into the house that evening, but I no longer expected to find Charlie on the couch. He had finally come to terms with the fact that I stayed out after his bedtime. Also, he had suffered from lumbago for almost two weeks the last time he had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. These days, he chose to trust the fact that I would come home even if he didn't wait up for me.

xxxxx

Edward picked me up at eight the following morning, since we had a bit of a walk ahead of us.

"Got comfy shoes on?" He asked as I got into the car.

"My favorite sneakers." I replied.

"Good." He pulled out of the driveway and headed north on the one-oh-one, CCR's _Have you ever seen the rain_ on the stereo. After a while, we turned onto the one-ten, and drove until it turned into a small, dirt road. He stopped, and I could see a hiking trail disappear into the woods ahead of us.

We got out of the car, and he pulled two backpacks from the trunk, handing one of them to me.

"This one's only got a couple of blankets and some water for you." He took the other bag. "I've got the heavy stuff."

"What exactly is in that?" I wondered.

"More water, some food. I thought we could have a picnic, since it does take a while to get there." He headed off towards the trees to the right of the road.

"Where are you going?" I asked nervously, glancing over at the trail in front of the car.

"We're not taking the trail." He told me, reaching out for my hand. "Come on, I won't let you fall."

And he didn't. We advanced through the forest slowly, and he held all the intruding branches and ferns out of my way. I knew I was slowing him down with my clumsiness, but he never once complained.

After an hour the sun was starting to make me sweat, and I stopped to pull my sweater off. I was glad I had put on a t-shirt underneath it, since the day was getting hotter by the minute. Edward followed my lead and took off his sweater too, and then we continued.

At noon, I stopped for another water break and a breather. We weren't walking very fast, but I still wasn't used to the rough terrain. The water chilled my throat in a pleasant way.

"Are we there yet?" I wondered, trying very hard not to sound too much like a whiney child.

"Are you five?" He countered, smirking at me. "But yes, we are almost there."

We continued for another ten minutes, and then we suddenly broke through a thicket of bushes, and stepped out into a completely circular meadow, covered with white and purple wild flowers.

"Wow." I looked around. "This place really is amazing."

"I'm glad you like it." He continued to the middle of the meadow, where he stopped and put his backpack down, reaching out for mine. I walked over and shrugged the bag off my shoulders, handing it to him.

"I can see why you like to come here."

He pulled a couple of blankets out of my backpack.

"I thought we'd better bring a couple extras, in case the weather guy was wrong, but I don't think we'll need them." He looked up at the almost completely blue sky before spreading one of the blankets on the ground. From the other backpack he extracted a couple of water bottles, two large tuna sandwiches and a plastic bowl of strawberries.

"Oh, strawberries, nice." I sat down Indian style on the blanket, and he joined me.

"Hungry?" I realized that I was, and he handed me one of the sandwiches. "Courtesy of Esme."

"Remind me to thank her later."

We sat in silence as we ate the sandwiches.

"So you and Emmett just stumbled upon this place?" I asked a little while later, popping a strawberry into my mouth.

"Pretty much." He stared into the distance for a while. "We did a lot of hiking when we first moved here."

I noticed a change of tone in his voice, and I realized that this was him broaching the previously avoided subject of their move to Forks almost two years earlier.

"This was the first place I actually felt at peace here." He continued. "Emm was so intent on keeping me occupied; he never realized that doing just that was what made me uncomfortable in the first place."

"Why was he trying to keep you occupied?" I was afraid to ruin the moment we were having, but I still felt the need to ask. He sighed.

"I might as well start from the beginning." He was quiet so long that I almost thought he had changed his mind, but then he continued. "Junior high, I really had no interest in girls, or they in me for that matter. I focused on school, and that was fine by me.

"The summer before high school, I grew about a foot and finally got rid of the braces that had been haunting me for years. I got some looks from girls that summer, but was still surprised when a girl at our new school, Tanya, showed an interest in me a couple of weeks into my freshman year. Emmett was all excited, talking about how she was a sophomore and one of the most popular girls in school. I was flattered, I guess."

So here it was then. The ex-factor.

"We started hanging out. I felt completely out of place with her friends, they were all cheerleaders and football players, but she made it easier. I thought I was in love with her. Of course, looking back, I get that it was just the attention she gave me.

"I knew that she and her friends smoked, but it wasn't until she offered me one – which I stupidly took – after a couple o weeks, that I realized that they weren't smoking cigarettes."

He paused and looked at me, as if to read my reaction. I tried to keep my expression blank, and after a moment he continued.

"You know what they say about peer pressure. I wish I could say that I said no as soon as I realized what it was, but I didn't. I desperately wanted her approval, so I thought I'd just give it a try. That couldn't hurt, right?"

He laughed dryly.

"She had complete control of me after that. Her dad was one of the richest guys in LA, but he traveled a lot, so his way of showing his love for his daughter was to give her money whenever he was actually home. She spent it on drugs for both of us.

"Pretty soon, she moved on to heavier stuff, and I of course followed her. I still don't know how I managed to keep Carlisle and Esme from finding out what was going on, or how I managed to not completely mess up in school, but somehow I did. And they had no idea.

"One night in May, Tanya got hold of some syringes and wanted to try injecting instead of snorting, which was what we had been doing up until then. As always, I went along with whatever she said. And I OD'd."

I let a frightened gasp escape, and he looked away.

"Luckily, she had the presence of mind to actually call an ambulance, or I don't know what would have happened. I don't remember anything, of course, but they brought me to Carlisle's hospital. I will never forgive myself for what I did to him and Esme, or my brother and sister for that matter, that night. I'll never get over that. But I obviously survived.

"They shipped me off to a rehab centre in northern California. I spent two months there, and when I got out, they had already moved here. Carlisle gave up a great job at Cedars-Sinai, Esme started working from home, and Emmett and Alice had to switch schools – all because of me. "Removing the temptation" Carlisle called it. And I was glad, because I knew I would never be able to be around Tanya without getting dragged back into her world."

He played with a blade of grass, his eyes on the ground.

"They never blamed me, for what I had done or for forcing them to leave everything they had worked for. Never said that they were angry or disappointed. They just helped me get better, and never talked about it again."

I finally got the movement back in my limbs, and put my arms around him in what I hoped was a comforting hug. He held on to me like his life depended on it.

"I haven't scared you away?" He mumbled after a moment.

"Of course not. Did you think that you would?" Was that why he hadn't said anything about all of this before?

"Honestly, I'm waiting for you to run away from me, screaming." A small smile was visible on his face, and I knew the hard part was over.

"I love you, silly. It's going to take a lot more than that to scare me off." I realized what I had said, and my heart almost stopped.

"I love you too, more than you could possibly know." He held me even tighter.

After a moment, he pulled away a little, only to lean down and kiss me with a desperation I had never felt before. It was like he was drowning and I was the oxygen he needed to survive. I returned the kiss with as much feeling, and shifted a little in his embrace so I was in his lap.

The kiss became even more passionate, and after a moment we both pulled away, grasping for air. The look in his eyes told me that he wanted to take this to the next level as much as I did, and I decided that it was time.

I reached up to kiss him again, and as he deepened the kiss, I brought my right hand down from where it had been resting around his neck and started unbuttoning his shirt. He pulled away, his hand closing around my wrist, stopping my actions. My heart dropped.

"I don't have…" I silenced him with another kiss, and felt myself start to blush as I pulled a condom from the back pocket of my jeans. I didn't know what had made me stuff it in my pocket that morning, but I was glad that I had.

I pulled back and put the little foil wrapper in his hand. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm surprised at you, Isabella Swan." He smirked. "Were you planning to seduce me today?"

"Rose." I mumbled, getting even redder, and lowered my eyes.

"I should have known." He placed a finger under my chin and forced me to look at him before he kissed me again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself even closer to him, getting a groan in return.

"Do you know what you do to me?" He mumbled against my lips, and it was my turn to smirk. I shifted in his lap so I could wrap my legs around his waist.

"I think I might have an idea."

He pulled back from me and looked me deep in the eyes, his own dark with desire.

"Are you sure? Because if we take this any further, I don't know if I could stop."

"I don't want you to."

He stared into my eyes me for an infinite moment, before leaning down and covering my lips with his again. I took this as a silent permission to continue my previous actions, and I resumed my mission of getting his shirt unbuttoned. When I had successfully undone the last button, he quickly shrugged the shirt off and tossed it aside. I tentatively ran one hand down his now exposed chest, and he moaned into my mouth. I let my wandering hand continue down to his jeans, where I tugged at his belt. Again, he grabbed my hand and pulled away from me. For a moment, I thought that he'd changed his mind, and I looked away, embarrassed.

"Did you think you'd get away with keeping all your clothes on, undressing me like that?" He chuckled, and I looked back up at him, relieved. He had my favorite, crooked smile on his lips.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it." The smile disappear and he suddenly looked very serious again as he reached down, grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and lifted it over my head. When he had removed it, it went in the same general direction as his shirt had a moment earlier. The sun warmed my back and chased the slightly cool air away from my skin.

As his eyes roamed over my body, I felt myself blush again.

"Beautiful." He mumbled, leaning down and placing a kiss on my shoulder, in the hollow of my throat, my collar bone. When his tongue grazed the skin there, I inhaled sharply, letting my head fall back under the pleasant sensation.

His hands, in the meantime, were wandering up and down my back. After a moment, they paused at the clasp of my bra, and I froze. He immediately moved away from the spot, his hands coming to rest on my waist. He pulled away from my neck and gave me an apologizing look.

"Sorry."

"No, it's OK." I mumbled. "I was just… caught a little off guard."

"You don't have to." He assured me, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

Instead of trying to argue my case, I took the matter into my own hands, reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. I avoided his eyes as I let it slip off my shoulders.

"Look at me." He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled my face up so that I didn't have a choice but to meet his eyes. "You don't ever have to be embarrassed in front of me, ever. OK?"

I nodded, and he kissed me again; harder, more eagerly this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself against him, skin to skin. He ran his hands up and down my sides, his thumbs brushing the sides of my breasts briefly before returning back down.

I moaned at the loss of contact when his lips left mine, and he chuckled a little as he trailed light kisses down my chin, neck, collar bone, chest… when his tongue circled my right nipple, I gasped. Pleased with the reaction, he repeated the action on the left one before returning the way he had come, finding my lips again.

I could feel the fire inside me, which had been burning steadily ever since he had first kissed me, become even warmer, and impatiently reached down to tug at his belt again. He replied by swiftly picking me up and laying me down on the blanket, covering my body with his own. Our lips crashed together and our tongues danced, but I was far from satisfied. Again, I attempted to unbuckle his belt, and this time, I was successful. I got as far as pulling the zipper down before Edward pulled back.

"Hey!" I complained, but he just chuckled at me.

Quickly unbuttoning my jeans, he pulled them off in one, swift motion. His own jeans quickly went the same way, and he grabbed one of the spare blankets from the grass next to us before reclaiming his previous position above me.

"Nobody ever comes here, but there's no need to give any possible wanderers a show." He mumbled against my lips, and I was suddenly very aware of where we were.

I glanced around the meadow. There was no way anyone would see us unless they actually came into the clearing; we were very well hidden from the surrounding woods. But still…

"What if someone does come here?"

"Don't worry." He frowned. "We can leave if you want to, we don't…"

"No." I cut him off quickly.

"Are you sure?"

I pulled him down for a kiss to prove my point, and he willingly let the subject go.

There was still a few inches of space between us, because he was supporting his weight on his knees and elbows, so as not to crush me. Wanting – needing – more contact, I experimentally wrapped one leg around his waist and pulled his body against mine.

"God, Bella." He moaned against my mouth, and I smiled inwardly. I could feel how hard he was against me, and knowing that I had that kind of effect on him was very satisfying – unfortunately, though, only on a mental level. Wanting a more physical kind of satisfaction, I let my hands wander down his back and tugged at his boxers.

He immediately pulled away from me to be able to remove my underwear. In what I could only assume was a sudden notion of embarrassment, he then turned his back on me to remove his own. I was actually a little glad that he did; though I did want this more than anything, I was starting to feel a little nervous. When I heard him tearing the foil packet with the condom open, I felt the color rising in my cheeks. I closed my eyes, trying to get the unwanted blush under control.

"What did I tell you?"

I opened my eyes when I heard his voice inches from my ear.

"Don't ever be embarrassed." He repeated, kissing me softly.

"I'm not, I'm just a little… nervous." I admitted.

"You don't have to be. I would never do anything that you didn't want me to do." He pulled away a little, and my entire body protested. "Just say the word, and we'll stop."

"I don't want to stop." I pulled him back down on top of me. "I want this, I want _you_, so much."

"Not half as much as I want you." He mumbled, kissing the side of my neck.

"More."

"Not possible." I could feel him smiling against my skin.

I pulled my left leg up, bending the knee, so that I could more easily press myself closer to him. I heard him let out a ragged breath before his lips covered mine again. I returned the fervent kiss with as much passion.

His right hand slid between our bodies, wandering down, down… when I felt him slip one finger inside me, I gasped into the kiss, my body arching into his touch as if by its own will.

He pulled away from me, again trailing kisses down my neck, chest. His lips encircled one of my nipples, and he pulled it into his mouth.

"Oh, God!" My eyelids slid shut and I felt my breath become more labored. My hands tangled in his hair, trying to keep him from ever stopping what he was doing.

I was only aware of the red light behind my eyelids, the feeling of Edward's warm mouth on my breast and the movement of his finger inside me. The entire world could come to a flaming end around us, and I wouldn't have noticed.

After a split second – or an eternity – his lips wandered back to mine and his finger slipped out from inside me. I instantly arched my hips, in search of something to ease the fire that was now burning blazing hot inside me.

He ended the kiss, pulling back from me a little. His breath was coming in ragged gasps, just like mine, and if I could have heard his heart, I had no doubt that it would have beaten as fast as mine did.

He shifted a little above me, and I felt him position himself at my entrance.

"I don't want to hurt you."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I arched my hips a little, pulling him a fraction of an inch inside me.

"Tell me to stop if…"

I nodded at his unfinished statement.

His eyes didn't leave mine as he slowly, almost painfully so, pushed deeper inside me. When he got to the barrier protecting my virginity, he stopped for a moment before quickly thrusting all the way inside.

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip against the piercing pain, and he instantly froze inside me.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, placing soft kisses on my eyelids, nose, forehead, cheeks.

The pain only lasted a moment. When it had ceased, I opened my eyes to find him anxiously looking down on me.

"I'm OK." I assured him, experimentally moving my hips a little. The groan I got in return assured me that I was doing something right.

His lips descended on mine, and I felt him pull almost completely out of me before pushing back inside. The new sensation was almost overwhelming, and I gasped into his mouth. He froze again, afraid of having hurt me, and pulled away from the kiss.

"No, don't stop." I mumbled, pulling his lips back down to mine.

Having been assured that he wasn't causing me any pain, he started moving again, pushing into me slowly. I bent my other knee to be able to meet his thrusts better, and the new angle made both of us moan.

"God, you feel so good." He mumbled against my lips, picking up the pace a little.

His left elbow was supporting his weight so he wouldn't crush me under him, and his right hand slipped between us. He cupped my left breast for a moment before letting his thumb tease the nipple. The feeling made me gasp again, and I felt tension starting to build up inside me.

His thrusts were becoming faster, deeper, harder, but it still wasn't enough for me.

"Please, I need…" I trailed off, not knowing what it was that I wanted.

He somehow understood my plea, though, because his hand deserted my breast and slipped further down between our bodies to where they were joined together. As his finger grazed the sensitive nub there, I felt the tension inside me increase even more.

"That's right, just let go." He mumbled, his thumb replacing his finger. As he pressed down, I felt something explode inside me. Colors flashed behind my closed eyelids, and it felt like my entire body was convulsing, but in a very satisfying way. My mind became completely blank, all energy focused on the intense pleasure originating in that one part of my body and spreading to all the others; my legs, feet, toes, arms, hands, fingertips… everywhere.

It took me a moment to come back down to reality, to become aware of the fact that Edward was still moving inside me, the feeling of his lips still on mine. Wanting him to feel everything I had just experience for the first time myself, I met his thrusts with even more passion. After only a few moments, he froze, and I could feel him quiver inside me. He leaned his forehead against mine, and we lay there as he started coming back down, our breathing slowing in synch.

After a few minutes, I felt him slip out of me, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he rolled us around so that I was lying on top of him and pulled the blanket tight around me. I snuggled into the crook of his neck and he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you." He mumbled quietly.

"Love you too."

xxxxx

I probably would have fallen asleep if it hadn't been for Edward's hand running up and down my back. The sun was still beaming down on us, and the heat, along with listening to the steady sound of Edward's heartbeat, was making me sleepy.

"You OK?" He mumbled into my hair, and I propped myself up on my elbow to look down on him.

"Better than OK. Great. Wonderful. Amazing even." I leaned down and kissed him slowly.

"I know what you mean." He replied when I pulled away.

"I could stay here forever." I sighed, laying my head back down on his chest.

"If it hadn't been for the fact that I think Charlie might send out a search party if you're not back by midnight, I wouldn't have a problem with that scenario."

"We don't have to leave yet, though, do we?" I had no idea what time it was, but the sun was still pretty high in the sky.

"No, it's only three. We can stay for a couple more hours if you want."

"Good." I never wanted the day to end.

**AN: ****I've never actually written a sex-scene from a first person perspective before, I hope it was OK… please let me know what you thought of the chapter!**

**And i****f you want to check out the dresses, here are the links.**

****

Bella

**.com/shop/dresses/viewitem-PD420665**

**Alice**

**.**

**Rosalie**

**.com/shop/dresses/viewitem-FA322901**


	9. 9 The Prom

**AN: Wow, the story passe****d the thousand hits mark yesterday – thanks to you guys! We have a long way to go, and I hope we get past many more marks like that on the way. Here's the next chapter for you; I've never been to a high school prom, so if I get something wrong, I apologize! Please let me know what you think (if I get ten reviews I'll update tomorrow…)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, never was, never will be!**

**9 – The Prom**

I started regretting agreeing to go to the prom long before the actual event. Alice and Rosalie had decided that they were going to get their hair and nails done at a beauty parlor for the big night, and had somehow managed to rope me and Angela into going as well. I wasn't quite sure how that had happened…

I had thought that I could count on Angela to back me up when it came to the prom, but she was just as excited as Alice and Rosalie. Ben, a guy she'd had a secret crush on for months, had asked her to go. So I was left to fend for myself when Alice started talking limos, corsages and other vital details that I didn't see the point of.

We were going to the dance all eight of us together; Rosalie had managed to get a limo from Seattle that would fit everyone. I personally didn't get why we couldn't just drive there ourselves, but when I had suggested that, Alice and Rosalie had stared at me like I had two heads. I had quickly decided that dropping the subject was probably a good idea and silently, but reluctantly, went along with all their preparations – almost.

I did manage to avoid Rosalie's attempts to get me to go with her to the tanning salon, which in itself felt like at least a small victory. I wasn't claustrophobic per se, but the thought of being stuck in one of those things had always given me the creeps. Besides, my albino complexion would without a doubt be able to resist even the most persistent tanning. No gain, no pain, to twist Jane Fonda's motto around a bit.

The one thing Alice suggested that I didn't have a problem with – and the one thing that would probably never happen – was that I should spend the night at the Cullens' after the prom. Carlisle and Esme would be there, of course, but it would still mean that I got to spend the entire night with Edward.

Since Charlie was sticking to his "no boy in the bedroom" rule, I hadn't even broached the subject of me staying over at the Cullens', let alone Edward spending the night at my house. This meant that we so far had been forced to limit our physical relationship to afternoons before Charlie came home from work. What Charlie didn't know didn't hurt him. This arrangement was OK – at least we got to be together – but I wanted the whole package, including the waking-up-together part.

So when I had finished the dishes after dinner on Wednesday night, the week of the prom, I took a deep breath and entered the living room where Charlie was watching a baseball game. The phrase "it's now or never" briefly flashed through my mind.

"Dad?" He looked up from the TV at my voice.

"What's up Bells?"

"I wanted to talk to you about prom." I fiddled with the hem of my shirt and avoided looking at him.

"What about prom?" He asked suspiciously, catching my obvious uneasiness.

"Well, Alice suggested that we all stay at their house after, and everyone else is, so can I?"

"Doesn't "everyone else" already live there?" Charlie noted dryly.

"Angela and Ben are staying there too." This wasn't actually true, but I thought he might be a little more open to the idea if there were going to be other people there. I only hoped he wouldn't run into their parents in the next couple of days and ask about it. Considering my usual luck, my lie would probably come back and bite me at some point.

"I see." He was quiet for so long that I thought he was just going to ignore my question completely.

"Well?" I pressed on.

"I don't like it." I was about to tell him that if he was worried about my virtue, it was a little late for that. But that definitely wouldn't convince him, so I kept my mouth shut. "But I guess it's OK."

It took me a moment to register that he had actually consented.

"Really?" That had been easier than I had thought it would be. I waited for the catch.

"Like I said, I don't like it." He repeated. "But I'm not stupid enough to think that me putting a stop to this will prevent any… plans you might have, and I would rather know where you are."

"Thanks dad." I gave him a hug.

"Yeah yeah." He mumbled, a blush spreading on his face. Charlie wasn't good at handling displays of affection.

I rushed to my room and immediately called Edward.

"He said yes!" I exclaimed as soon as he picked up.

"_Should I know what you're talking about?"_

"Charlie said that I can stay over after prom." I clarified.

"_Reall__y? I wasn't expecting that."_

"Me neither."

"_Great. Do you want to come over for a while? Alice talked about watching some new movie."_

I looked at the watch; it was only a little after seven.

"Sure, I'll head right over."

"_See you in a bit__, then. Love you."_

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone and headed downstairs.

"Dad?" I stuck my head into the living room on my way to the door. "I'm going over to the Cullens' to watch a movie, I won't be home late."

"Sure Bells." He didn't even look up from the television, and I could see that he still had a bit of a blush on his face. He was probably afraid I'd express my gratitude in an even more uncomfortable way, so I quickly left the house.

I headed out to the truck, started the engine and popped Dido's _No Angel_ into the stereo before heading out of town. When I pulled up outside the big, white house, I was singing along to _Isobel_ at the top of my lungs.

Edward had, as usual, heard the roaring of the truck as I approached the house and greeted me on the porch. It was a good thing I never tried to sneak around – as much as I loved my truck, going undercover in it was definitely out of the question.

"Hey." He leaned against the railing, trapping me between his arms and kissed me thoroughly. When he finally pulled back, I was out of breath and my heart was racing.

"Hi." I breathed, and he smirked at me. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Just happy to see you." He pulled me with him through the open door, and we headed into the living room where the others were gathered on the couch.

"Just in time, Bella." Alice said, remote in hand.

"What are we watching?" I sat down on the couch next to Rose and Edward took a seat on my other side.

"_Two weeks notice_." Alice replied, curling up in Jasper's lap.

"Another chick flick." Emmett complained.

"Nobody's forcing you to watch it." Rosalie noted dryly.

"Really? Huh." Emmett tentatively got up from the couch, as if half-expecting some invisible force to stop him. "Then I guess I'll go do something a little more productive." He gave Rose a suggestive look. "Care to join me?"

She sighed, but stood up and headed after him up the stairs.

"Have fun, guys." She called over her shoulder before disappearing out of view.

"And then there were four…" Alice mumbled, skipping past the trailers and grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the table.

"Hey, Alice, guess what? Charlie said that I can stay here on Saturday." I revealed, and Alice's eyes went wide.

"Really? That's great!" She was almost – but just almost – as excited as I was.

We watched the movie mainly in silence, and after it was over, Edward walked me to the car. It was a pretty warm night, but cloudy. The weather forecast had promised nice weather for the coming weekend, which was good. At least I wouldn't have to look like a drowned rat on top of getting all dressed up.

"You do know that you don't have to go along with all of Alice and Rose's crazy ideas for prom, right?" He said, as if he knew where my thoughts had wandered. He had brought this up before, and I gave him the usual answer.

"I know." I shrugged. "But it's really not that big a deal, and it makes them happy. And they're not going to scare me off from going, so don't worry."

"I'm not worried about that." He assured me, running a finger down the side of my cheek. I shuddered a little at the touch. "You really are way too good for me, you know that?"

"I think I'm just good enough." I countered, pulling him down for a kiss.

xxxxx

"It'll look great, Bella, you'll see." I still had a skeptical look on my face as I met Alice's eyes in the mirror, but she seemed to know what she was talking about.

"If you don't like it, we can always try something else, it's not a problem." The hairdresser standing behind me promised.

"OK, go for it." I surrendered my hair to the woman and hoped for the best.

It was three o'clock on the day of the prom and Alice, Rosalie, Angela and I were at the beauty parlor getting our hair done. The manicures and pedicures – which had been even worse when a complete stranger had performed them – were thankfully already behind us, and this was our last stop before heading back to the Cullens' to get dressed and do our make-up. To Alice's great disappointment – and my even greater relief – we would have to do that ourselves; there hadn't been any openings left at any of the salons when Alice had come up with the idea of getting our make-up done as well.

"I still don't know if I want my hair up or not." Rosalie complained from her chair to my right.

"Up." Alice told her. "You should show off that tan as much as possible."

"I agree." The stylist behind Rosalie said.

"OK, up it is." Rosalie concluded, and the stylist went to work.

"Do you know what you want?" I asked Angela, who was sitting on my left.

"I was thinking something pretty simple, like a French twist."

"That would go great with your dress." Alice nodded.

An hour and a half later, we walked out of the beauty salon and carefully got into the Volvo. Alice had opted against taking the Mini, since it would be difficult to get in and out without ruining our hairdos, and Esme had happily put the Volvo at our disposal.

Angela's French twist looked really good on her, Rosalie had her hair in a messy bun, a few strands escaping down her neck, Alice's usual spikes had been transformed into soft waves that framed her face, and my hair had been pulled back and curled into ringlets down my back.

"We look good." Alice commented as she drove through the streets of Forks.

"Just wait till we get the dresses on too." Rosalie added. "The guys won't know what hit them."

We headed back to the house, were Esme was waiting to help us get ready. While we did our make-up, we discussed who would be going to the prom with whom.

"Well, I know Jessica is going with Mike, obviously. Who's Lauren taking?" Alice wondered.

"I heard she's going with Tyler." Angela said, putting on some eye shadow in front of one of the mirrors.

"Really?" The thought seemed to amuse Rosalie. "I wish her the best of luck with that."

"What?" I asked, trying desperately to avoid getting eyeliner in my eye.

"Let me do that." Rosalie took the small bottle from me and turned me around so that she could see what she was doing.

"Rose used to date him." Alice revealed.

""Used to" is a bit of an overstatement, Alice." Rosalie objected, handing me back the eyeliner. "We went on one date back in sophomore year."

"During which he licked your chin and tried to feel you up." Alice filled in, giggling.

"Yeah, yuck!" Rosa shivered. "Wettest kiss ever. Thank God I moved on to more experienced guys."

"Hey!" Alice swatted her on the arm. "That's my brother you're talking about."

"Oh, most definitely!" Rosalie wagged her eyebrows suggestively at Alice.

"Not listening, not listening." Alice sing-songed to herself, focusing on applying mascara.

"Oh come on! Aren't you glad that your brothers are getting some?" I felt my cheeks blush a vivid scarlet at Rosalie's words.

"Doesn't mean I want to hear about it." Alice snapped.

"It's better than actually hearing…"

"Rose!" Alice cut her off. "Enough already! Angela's not used to the blunt way you talk about everything; do you want to scar her for life?"

Angela was just staring at the two of them.

"Are they always like this?" She mumbled, leaning closer to me so that they wouldn't hear. She didn't have much experience of Alice and Rosalie outside of school.

"Most of the time, unfortunately." I confirmed. I had actually gotten pretty used to Rosalie's hints; she had nothing on Emmett, who still made me blush with his practically daily sexual innuendos.

"All done!" Rosalie exclaimed, putting the finishing touches on her lipstick.

The rest of us finished putting on our make-up and headed into Alice's room. We had occupied the second floor bathroom for the make-up extravaganza, and the guys had been banished to the third floor with threats of severed limbs if they came downstairs before we told them to.

Esme helped us put our dresses on, buttoning buttons and zipping zippers. When I was finished, I shot a doubtful look at the shoes Alice had insisted that I had to get. Granted, the heels weren't nearly as high as those on Rosalie or Alice's shoes, but I was still pretty sure that I would, at some point during the night, fall on my butt. I cursed Alice and her dangerous powers of persuasion.

"They're not going to bite." Rose teased me, noticing my hesitation.

"I'm not so sure about that." I glared at the offending piece of footwear. "Why can't I wear flats?"

"Because you don't have any that go with that dress, and you are wearing sneakers to the prom over my dead body." Alice replied, checking the back of her dress in the mirror.

"Fine." I muttered, putting on the shoes. "But if I break something again, I will hold you personally responsible."

"I'm OK with that." Alice smirked at me. "As long as you look good doing it." I just glared at her.

"OK, girls, I think you're all done." Esme announced, taking a step back from Rosalie. "Let me get a picture." She ushered us closer together before taking out the camera. "Say cheese!"

We obediently did as were ordered, and she snapped a couple of pictures.

"I'm going to go tell the boys that you're ready, the limo should be here any minute." Esme said and headed out of the room.

"So, Rose, last prom." Alice reminded her. "How does it feel?"

"Freaking amazing."

Since Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were a year older than the rest of us, they were graduating that spring. Emmett and Jasper had both been accepted to Seattle University, neither sure of what they wanted to major in yet, and Rosalie was going to The Art Institute of Seattle; she wanted to be an interior decorator. They were all going to share an apartment in the city, and Emmett and Rose were moving down there right after graduation. Jasper was spending the summer with Alice in Forks, and would join them in time for when school started in September.

"Looking good, ladies." Emmett said, coming into the room ahead of the others.

"I think amazing is the word, Emm." Edward corrected, his eyes traveling appreciatively over my body. "Wow."

"Thanks." I blushed a little at his praise.

He bent down to give me a quick kiss, and Alice frowned.

"Don't ruin her make-up, it's perfect." Just to bug her, I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him a little more thoroughly. "Bel-la!" Alice complained, and I smirked at her. It was my revenge – granted, a small one – for the shoes.

The guys put on our corsages, and then Esme ushered us out of the room.

"Let's go downstairs, I want to take a few more photos before the limo gets here." She stuck her head into Carlisle's study. "The kids are leaving soon, come downstairs to see them off."

"I'll be right there."

Esme took a ton of photos; just the girls, just the guys, every couple on their own and all of us together. She had to change the film in the camera before she even started on the group pictures. None of us complained; we knew how excited she was about the whole thing.

When a car pulled up outside, Esme glanced out the window.

"That's the limo." She frowned. "Carlisle!"

"I'm here, I'm here." He said, coming downstairs at that moment.

"OK, that's it, I'm done. Don't keep the driver waiting!" Esme put the camera away. "Go, dance, drink – not alcohol!" She gave Emmett a stern look. "And have fun!"

We all piled into the limo, and it took off towards the school. The prom was being held in the gym, which was already half-full when we got there.

As we walked in, I felt a sudden rush of excitement I hadn't expected. The usually boring room had been transformed into something magical; white lights twinkled from all over the walls, and there were disco balls in the ceiling, reflecting the colorful lights from several spotlights everywhere. Every sign of the fact that it was a high school gym had been carefully removed, and a table with several bowls of punch and some snacks had been set up against one of the walls. The music coming from the speakers that were strategically placed around the room pulsed through me and I almost had trouble standing still.

Edward kept his word and didn't leave my side the entire evening. We danced every now and then, but only to slow song so that the risk of me tripping on my own feet was minimal. The rest of the night was spent with the others, just hanging out and drinking punch – until someone spiked it at around eleven. Emmett swore that he was innocent, but I had my doubts. Ben seemed to get along really well with the guys, and I could see that Angela was enjoying herself a lot.

"He asked me out on Friday." She told me when we went to bathroom together to freshen up our make-up a few hours into the dance.

"Really? That's great!" I was happy for her; she deserved it.

"I know, I'm so excited." She looked thrilled. "I mean, it is just a date, but it must mean that he's having a good time, right?"

"Of course he is." I assured her. "Even you have to see that, it's obvious."

"I don't know…" Angela bit her lip. "I don't have any experience with the whole dating thing. I might have to take advantage of your knowledge."

"Because I'm quite the expert." I huffed.

"You've got a lot more experience than I do, at least."

"I guess." I pondered her words for a moment. "I guess I don't really think of what Edward and I have as dating."

"You kind of skipped that part and went right to the boyfriend-girlfriend stage, didn't you?" Angela giggled.

"I guess we did."

We had the limo until midnight, and since we were dropping Ben and Angela off on the way, we had to leave the school at half past eleven. At a quarter past, Edward led me onto the dance floor again.

"Last dance." He pulled me close and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

_I used to think that I knew what we needed  
__Just assumed we would always be fine  
__Now I don't think that we lost the feeling  
__But we let everything build up inside_

xxxxx

I was woken up by the sun shining in through the window the following morning. I squeezed my eyes shut against the light, and snuggled into Edward's chest under the covers.

"Morning." He mumbled sleepily, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"Morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a long time." I smiled.

"Me too." He turned onto his side, pulling me up a little so that we were eye to eye. "That's better." He kissed me softly, and I pressed myself closer to him, throwing one leg across his hip.

"Mmm." I deepened the kiss, and our tongues danced together.

His hand traveled around my waist and he pulled me with him as he rolled onto his back, so I was on top of him.

There was nothing separating us, our bodies were pressed skin to skin, and I could feel exactly what I was doing to him.

I reached out and found the bedside table, opened the top drawer and… there was a knock on the door. We both froze.

"Breakfast!" Came Alice's cheerful voice from the other side of the door.

"Go away!" Edward called back to her.

"Sorry, no can do. Mom's making pancakes, and they're best while they're hot. Of course, I could always tell her that you're… busy…"

"Oh for the love of all that is holy." Edward mumbled, but I quickly rolled off him.

"We'll be right down." I called, and heard Alice giggle as she skipped down the hallway.

"Ignore her." Edward said, trying to pull me back into bed.

"Can't. They would know." I blushed a little just from thinking about it.

"You seriously don't think that they've figured it out?"

"That's different."

He sighed.

"Fine. Off you go. I'm at least taking a shower before going down there."

I giggled as I rummaged through the bag I had brought with me, finding underwear, some sweat shorts and t-shirt. I pulled them on and got up off the bed.

"That might be a good idea." He just glared at me, and I quickly headed out of the room. "Make sure it's a cold one." I teased before I closed the door. The soft thud of a pillow hitting it made me laugh as I headed towards the stairs.

Everyone but Esme and Rosalie were sitting around the dining table when I got downstairs. The smell from the kitchen made my stomach grumble, and I realized I was really hungry. Esme was indeed making pancakes. And toast.

"Good morning." Rosalie greeted me from the kitchen. Her voice was full of innuendos and Esme elbowed her in the ribs.

"Good morning, Bella, I hope you slept well." Esme smiled at me.

"I did, thank you."

"I hope that's not all you did." Emmett mumbled under his breath, and Esme shot him a pointed look. I blushed. "Where is Eddie, anyway?" He continued in an unaffected voice.

"He's taking a shower." I replied, knowing that Emmett would jump at the possibility.

"Oh, I bet he is." Another look from Esme stopped him from saying whatever it was that he had planned.

I grabbed a plate from one of the cupboards and sat down next to Alice. She actually didn't look as perky as she had sounded, which surprised me. I guessed that she hadn't gotten much sleep, and quickly averted my thoughts from the reason behind that.

"Did you at least have a little fun last night?" She asked, putting an arm around my shoulders and leaning her head against mine.

"I actually did." I hugged her back. "The gym was really nice, and the music decent."

"And the company fabulous." Rose added, putting the plate of pancakes down on the table before sitting down opposite me.

"And that, too." I nodded. "Seriously, Alice, I'm glad you made me go."

"Really?" Alice's face lit up. "Oh, I knew you would be!"

I put a pancake on my plate and dug in.

A few minutes later, Edward came down the stairs.

"Have a nice shower, bro?" Emmett chuckled, and Edward smacked him over the head as he passed.

"Nice, breakfast." He sat down next to me and grabbed a piece of toast before helping himself to a couple of pancakes.

"What are everyone's plans for today?" Esme asked. "The weather's still nice, you should take advantage of that."

"We could bring some lunch and head out to First Beach." Alice suggested. "It won't be nearly warm enough in the water to swim, but it'll still be nice."

Everyone agreed that this was a good idea.

After we had finished breakfast, we all went to get ready. I showered and got dressed quickly and went downstairs to help Esme with the lunch. She and Carlisle had decided that they would join us, since Carlisle didn't have to go into the hospital.

"Need a hand?" I wondered as I entered the kitchen.

"Thank you, sweetie, that's nice of you." Esme smiled and handed me a couple of sodas to pack in the picnic basked she had produced from a closet on the second floor.

"I was wondering if I could have copies of the pictures you took last night?" I asked. "I know Charlie would like to have some of them, and Renée made me promise to send her some. She hates being left out of these things."

"Of course, I had every intention of getting a bunch of copies anyway."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it." She handed me a couple of sandwiches that went the same way as the sodas. "I actually wanted to thank you too."

"For what?" I frowned.

"For what you've done for Edward. He's really been a completely different person since you came along, and I will be forever grateful to you for that." She gave me a look so sincere it almost made me blush.

"I don't know if I've really done anything…"

"Trust me, you have. I don't know if he's told you about what happened when we lived in LA, why we moved here?" I quickly nodded to assure her that he had. "Well, after that, he became quiet and withdrawn in a way he had never been before. You've taken him out of his self-imposed shell. He's even found his way back to his music."

"He stopped playing?" He hadn't told me about that.

"For a while, yes. And when he started again, he didn't compose anything new." She cocked her head to the side and looked at me. "Not until the day he met you."

"I had no idea." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in any way; I just wanted you to know that you're very, very important to him. And to the rest of us in extension."

"Need another set of hands, mom?" We both looked up at Edward's voice from the stairs.

"Of course."

I watched Edward intently as he came up to the counter where Esme and I were standing, but I couldn't find anything in his expression that indicated that he had heard our conversation.

It was almost noon when we finally got into the Volvo and Jeep and headed for La Push.

The beach was very different from the last time I had been there. The snow was gone, of course, and the stones – of every color imaginable – that littered the crescent shaped beach were now exposed.

"Do you want to take a walk?" Edward asked as Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie sat down on the blankets we had brought. Emmett, Jasper and Alice had gone down to the water, and Emmett was now trying to grab Alice to throw her in.

"Sure."

He took my hand and we wandered off along the beach. I could see some kids from the reservation kicking a football around a little further away. We passed them and continued along the water.

"It's beautiful here in daylight too." I noted.

"It is." He agreed. "I like it the most before the summer season gets started, it's always crowded then."

"I can imagine." We sat down on a fallen tree, and I briefly wondered if it was the same one we had sat on months earlier.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me. We sat there in silence, watching the eternal ocean. The tide was starting to come in.

After about an hour, we spotted Alice waving at us.

"I think it's lunch time." Edward pulled me up from the tree. "Have you ever seen a driftwood fire before?"

We had brought sandwiches to eat, but Alice had insisted that we grill marshmallows as well, so a fire would be needed.

"No. Is there something special about it?" He only smiled as we started to walk back along the beach.

"You'll see."

Esme handed us each a sandwich and a soda when we rejoined the family, and we sat down next to each other on one of the blankets.

Emmett and Jasper had already finished eating and were gathering driftwood from the beach around us for a fire. When everyone else had finished too, Emmett took a box of matches from his pocket and lit a couple of small twigs that he carefully leaned against the pile of firewood. He repeated the action in a few more places, and the flames quickly rose towards the sky.

"It's blue!" I watched in awe.

"It's the salt." Alice explained. "Pretty, isn't it?" She pulled the bag of marshmallows from her backpack and handed it to me. I took one and pierced it with a wooden stick that Jasper gave me.

We ate almost the whole bag of marshmallows, and then sat and watched the fire. The afternoon passed, but nobody seemed very eager to leave and head back to reality. It would find us soon enough anyway.

**AN: The song at the prom is **_**Only love**_** by Heather Nova, and can be found on the album **_**South.**_


	10. 10 Birthdays and Graduations

**AN: Well, guys, here's chapter ten for you. Hope you like it…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**10 – ****Birthdays and Graduations**

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked as Alice and I walked to Computer Science together.

"I've already told you, all I want is for you to come to the party next Friday."

Alice had, of course, taken her and Edward's seventeenth birthday as a perfect excuse to throw a big party.

"And I've already told you that I'm going, and that I'm getting you a present anyway, so please tell me what you want!" We'd already had this conversation a couple of times over the past week and a half, and I knew how it would end.

"Your mere presence will be enough of a present for me."

"Fine." I sighed. "But don't blame me when I get you something you don't like. Will you help me figure out what to get Edward, though?" I had no idea what to give him.

"You know him as well as I do, if not better." Alice objected. "Besides, he'll love whatever you end up getting him."

I knew he would, but still… I wanted to find the perfect gift.

"I just want it to be something special, you know."

"If you want, I can go with you to Victoria's Secret and help you pick something out." Rosalie's voice came from behind us.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, Rose." I would never be able to pull off the whole sexy-lingerie thing, even if I tried – which I had no intention of doing.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Math?" Alice questioned.

"The benefits of graduating tomorrow." Rosalie smiled. "Ditching all the boring classes… well, all classes really, come to think of it. The grades are already set anyway, it's not like they can flunk me for missing the last class."

"True." Alice nodded. "But the rest of us still have to go to all our classes, boring or not, thank you very much, so we will see you later."

"Bye." Rosalie headed off towards the parking lot. "Think about my offer, Bella!" I was still blushing when Alice and I walked into the computer classroom a few minutes later. I was going to try very hard _not_ to think about Rosalie's offer.

Most of the teachers seemed to have started the summer vacation early, and Alice and I spent Computer Science playing hangman on my notepad while Mrs. Gordon graded papers at her desk.

Unfortunately, this mentality had also brought with it dodge ball – the game dreaded by all people uncoordinated – all week in P.E. I had, through a lot of help from Edward and Alice and probably more than my share of luck, avoided any more injuries since the cast had come off. It seemed like coach Clapp was doing his hardest to rectify this before term ended.

All week, I had spent the entire hour in Gym with my back pressed against the wall, desperately trying to avoid getting hit in the head or tripping and breaking something. Edward had made it his personal mission to keep all the balls away from me, for which I was ever grateful. But he could only be in one place at a time, and my time on the floor usually ended with a ball coming at me out of nowhere. I counted it as a victory every time I managed to get off the court without a throbbing head or aching stomach.

As I hobbled towards the bleachers that day - I had managed to trip when I had tried to jump out of the way of a ball coming my way, and had managed not only to not avoid getting hit, luckily on the arm, but had also twisted my ankle a little – I consoled myself with the fact that this was the last class of the semester. The graduation ceremony for the seniors was taking place the following day, and there were no classes even for the ones of us not graduating.

"Is your foot OK?" Edward asked a little later, when coach Clapp had blown the whistle to indicate that the class was over.

"Yeah, it's fine." I wiggled it a little, and felt nothing – the ankle seemed fine.

"Meet you outside in fifteen minutes?" Edward asked, and I nodded. We went our separate ways to the changing rooms.

I got changed quickly and was the first one out of the gym. I leaned against a tree as I waited for Edward, and when he got out we headed towards the parking lot.

"How does it feel to be free?" He wondered.

"Amazing." I replied. School was finally over, and summer could really start. Not that the weather was cooperating; it was cloudy and the temperature hadn't reached the sixties since our trip to the beach the day after prom. But still.

"We should get going." Edward noted. We had reached the car, and he opened the passenger door for me.

We were going to Port Angeles to get Rosalie's graduation present. She wanted a new, digital camera, so we had gotten together with Alice, Jasper and Emmett to buy her one. Edward and I had also gotten presents for Emmett and Jasper together; tickets to a concert in Seattle with a band I had never heard off, but that they apparently liked.

Edward started the car, and Three Doors Down immediately boomed from the speakers. I turned the volume down a little as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the highway.

"What do you think I should get Alice for her birthday?" I asked after a while. "She won't tell me anything that she wants, and I have no idea."

"I'm sure she'll love whatever you get her." Huh. Where had I heard that before? Twin intuition?

"I know, but I suck at the whole presents shopping thing. I have no idea where to start." Feel free to take that as a hint…

"Do you want to stop by a few places while we're in Port Angeles?" He wondered. "You might at least get some ideas."

"Sounds like a plan. We're not in a hurry to get back, anyway." Maybe I could get an idea about what to get him, too.

When we got to Port Angeles, we parked at Radio Shack and got Rose's present before heading down East Front Street. I decided that Necessities & Temptations would probably be my best shot at finding something for Alice, and as we passed by Port Book & News on our way there, I got an idea for Edward too.

Amazingly enough, I managed to find a great gift for Alice after only half an hour in the store. I held it up for Edward to look at.

"What do you think?" It was a simple, silver chain with a pendant in the shape of a heart, a green stone glittering in the center of it.

"It's really nice, I'm sure she'll love it." Having gotten his approval, I decided that I might as well buy the necklace. I paid for it, and the sales clerk gift wrapped it for me.

"Do you want to go to the bookstore before we head back?" I wondered as we left the shop, my birthday present idea slowly forming in my head.

"Sure." He checked his watch. "We've got time, I don't have to be home until dinner at seven."

I kept an eye on him as we browsed the bookstore, checking what books he looked at while I searched for… something. I wasn't quite sure what yet, but I was pretty certain I would know it when I saw it. Unfortunately, _it_ didn't seem to be in the store.

"Nothing catch your eye today?" Edward noted as he paid for a paperback edition of _Dubliners_.

"No." The plan had, however, continued to develop in my mind and I was suddenly eager to get home.

We walked back along East Front Street, and were soon on the highway heading towards Forks.

"Are you staying over tomorrow after the celebratory dinner?" Edward asked as he pulled up outside Charlie's house. We were going to some fancy restaurant in Port Angeles to celebrate Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper's graduation the following night. Esme had insisted that I come, since I was "practically part of the family". It had been nice hearing her say that.

Since the prom, Charlie had been a lot more easy going when it came to me spending the night at the Cullens', and I was a regular house guest there by now, staying over most Friday and Saturday nights. Charlie had started complaining that he hardly ever saw me anymore, which was probably true. I did feel a little guilty, but not enough to give up my nights with Edward. Charlie could deal.

"I think so, I'll just have to check with my dad."

"OK." He reached over and kissed me before I got out of the car. "Pick you up at nine thirty tomorrow?" The graduation ceremony started at ten.

"Sure."

I watched as he drove away, and then went into the house, heading straight to my bedroom and turning on the ancient computer that occupied my desk. Since it took forever for it to start, I went downstairs and prepared for dinner in the meantime. When I had finished making a salad and put the chicken in the oven, I went back upstairs.

I quickly logged on to eBay and started searching the site. Since I wasn't completely sure what I was looking for, it took a while. Eventually, I found something promising; a first edition leather bound copy of _Great Expectations_, which I knew was on Edward's top ten list. I was in luck too, the auction ended fifteen minutes later. I quickly put a bid in and waited anxiously to see if I would win.

And I did. I sent an e-mail to the seller, asking if they could send the book as soon as possible, since it was a birthday present. It had cost a little more than I had planned on spending, but I had surprisingly enough found a job for the summer in Mike's parents' store, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Feeling very content with myself, I headed back downstairs to finish dinner before Charlie came home.

xxxxx

"Morning." Edward greeted as I got into the passenger seat of the Camaro the following morning.

"Morning." I leaned over for my hello kiss, which he was only too happy to give me.

"You missed quite a show at the house this morning." He told me, pulling out of the driveway.

"Oh yeah?"

"Rose suddenly decided that maroon wasn't her color, and tried to get the principal on the phone to force him to change the robes last minute." Edward chuckled at the memory, and I could almost see the scene in front of me. God help the person who tried to mess with Rosalie's fashion sense.

"Poor Mr. Greene." I felt sorry for the principal, having to face the wrath of Rosalie so early in the morning.

"Oh, she didn't actually get a hold of him. But it wasn't for lack of trying, that's for sure. Esme finally managed to calm her down just before I left."

"It's probably just graduation nerves." I said.

"Probably." He agreed. "She's been so completely over the moon about this for so long, it was bound to hit her eventually that high school is really over for her."

"It must be scary." I knew I was happy to have one more year of high school to prepare for the big, bad world that was waiting out there.

"At least she'll have Emmett and Jasper with her in Seattle." Edward noted.

I pondered this in silence for a while. Edward and I had – very loosely – discussed going to college together. He thought that he would probably apply to Seattle, like Emmett and Jasper, since he didn't know what he wanted to major in. I was, because of the lack of a big college fund, limited to a college in the state, so this suited me very well. But nothing was set in stone yet, of course. I tried to not let myself pictures us together at school the next year, but it was so easy to get carried away.

"You OK?" Edward's words pulled me out of my musings. "You look about a thousand miles away."

"Fine, just thinking." He didn't ask about what, but I thought he knew. Sometimes it felt like he could read my mind.

The weather hadn't improved since the previous day, so the graduation ceremony would be taking place in the gym. We walked over to the building hand in hand, and found Esme and Carlisle waiting for us outside the open doors.

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle greeted, and Esme gave me a hug.

"I can't believe it's actually here." I could see that she had tears in her eyes. "They're really graduating. All grown up."

"Where's Alice?" Edward wondered, looking around for his twin.

"She went inside to get us seats." Carlisle replied, checking his watch. "Maybe we should head in there too, it's almost about to start."

We found Alice in one of the front rows, waving at us frantically. I sat down next to her and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I found a great present for Edward on eBay last night."

"Really? What?" She mumbled back. Edward shot us an inquisitive look, but I ignored him.

"A first edition _Great Expectations_."

"That's perfect!" She exclaimed in a whisper.

"I know. I just hope it gets here in time." I had gotten an e-mail the previous night, saying that the book would be sent this morning, so it should arrive by Tuesday at the latest.

"What are you two whispering about?" Edward wondered, and I glanced at Alice.

"Nothing that concerns you." I lied smoothly, though he probably didn't believe me.

"Haven't you heard that it's rude to eavesdrop?" Alice winked at him.

Just then, the principal came up on the stage, and the room went quiet.

Carlisle probably took a hundred photos during the ceremony; he took over camera duty because Esme started crying as soon as Emmett was called on stage to get his diploma.

After the ceremony, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper joined us outside the gym – it had finally stopped raining.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you!" Esme exclaimed, enveloping all three of them in a hug. When she finally let them go, the rest of us took turns hugging and congratulating.

As soon as the congratulations were out of the way, Rosalie pulled the robe over her head and let out a sigh of relief.

"Feel free to burn all the pictures with me in that hideous thing." She announced.

"Oh, no, Rosalie Hale, these photos will be burnt over my dead body." Esme countered. "This is the biggest day of your lives so far, and I want as many pictures as possible." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

I didn't know what she was so upset about; she looked as amazing in the maroon gown as she did in everything else. In all honesty, Rosalie would probably look perfect in a black garbage bag. But I did hope that they picked a more flattering color for the following year.

We went to Chicago Ru's for lunch, and then Edward and I went back to Charlie's place for a couple of hours. When Edward left at five, I packed a bag with things to bring for the night and started getting ready for the dinner with the Cullens.

Edward returned in the Volvo forty-five minutes later, with Carlisle and Esme.

The restaurant was very nice, and when I saw the prices, my eyes widened in shock. I could never afford a place like this, but Carlisle had insisted on paying for dinner.

We joked and laughed all through dinner, and the mood was high on the drive back as well. It was almost eleven when we got to the house, and Edward and I headed straight to bed. I fell asleep in his arms and dreamt of black robes and a diploma that I could never quite catch.

xxxxx

My first day at Newton's Olympic Outfitters went by as smoothly as I could ever have hoped. I didn't have to actually help any customers yet, just tag along with Mike and watch him work. He showed me where everything was located in the store – which I knew I would have forgotten by the end of the day – how to work the cash register and, most importantly, the coffee machine in the break room.

"So, do you and Edward have any plans for the summer?" Mike asked when we were having lunch in the break room. I was glad that he had stopped with the Cullen all the time, and took it as a good sign. I liked having Mike as a friend.

"Nothing that's completely decided, since we're both working almost all summer." Edward had gotten a job at the hospital, doing some filing and other things, thanks to Carlisle. Alice was working there as well, in the cafeteria. "But we do have a week off together, and might go visit my mom if we can find cheep plane tickets. How about you and Jess?"

"She went to San Francisco yesterday, to visit her aunt for a week, but we talked about maybe going away for a weekend or so in July. My parents have a place by the Quinault River that's really nice in the summer, so we might go there."

I was glad that Mike and Jessica had found each other, and not only because it meant that he no longer showed an interest in me. Jessica was happy, and Mike went around with a goofy grin on his face most of the time.

"So, big party Friday?"

I winced as Mike reminded me. I was pretty sure that Alice had invited the entire junior class, as well as a lot of seniors and quite a few sophomores.

I had asked her how she thought that everyone would even fit in the house – it was big, but not big enough to fit over a hundred people – but she had just replied that the party would be outside. When I had wondered how she could be so sure that it wouldn't be raining, like it had for the past couple of weeks, she had just laughed and said that she knew. Alice was a little funny that way – but usually right.

"Jess was totally bummed about missing it, she went on about it being "the social event of the year" or something."

I joined in when Mike laughed.

"Which only proves what a complete hole of a town we live in." I reflected.

"Very true."

The rest of the day went by quickly, and I realized that working with Mike this summer was actually going to be fun. I didn't exactly have an interest in anything that the store carried, but it wouldn't be too difficult to get the hang of it. It wasn't like I needed to go rock climbing or hiking to understand at least a little of what I was talking about.

Edward had somehow managed to get his working hours to coincide with mine, so he dropped me off at Newton's before heading to the hospital everyday, and picked me up when my shift was over. I tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, and also out of his way, but he persisted. We spent the afternoons either at Charlie's place or the Cullens', since it was still raining and outdoor activities were out of the question.

On Friday morning, I sat waiting for him to get to the house, nervously fiddling with the present in my hands. The book had, as promised, arrived that Tuesday, and I had decided to give it to him in the morning, rather than at the party, with dozens of people around. And now, I had suddenly gotten nervous. What if he didn't like it?

When I heard his car outside, I hurried through the front door.

"Good morning." He greeted as I got into the car.

"Good morning." I replied. "Happy birthday." I leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"Mmm, nice present." He mumbled when I pulled back.

"That's not your present, silly." I held out the wrapped parcel, and he frowned as he took it.

"I told you I didn't want anything."

"And I told you that I would get you something anyway." I countered.

I waited anxiously as he carefully removed the wrapping paper. His eyes went wide as he saw what it was, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"Wow, Bella, it's amazing." He turned the book over in his hands, his fingers almost caressing the worn leather. "Where did you find it?"

"EBay." I shrugged.

"I love it, thank you so much." He gave me a tight hug. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I have no idea."

xxxxx

Oddly, though not surprisingly, enough, the sun broke through the clouds at noon that Friday. I realized that the light outside had changed when I was helping a lady find hiking boots. When she was satisfied, I quickly left the store and looked up at the sky. Sure enough, there were already a couple of blue spots in between the clouds. I muttered something about Alice joining the local weather channel as I went back inside.

"Nice weather for a party." Mike noted as we locked up the store together later that afternoon. The sky was now almost completely blue, only a few fluffy clouds lining the horizon.

"Good thing, since it's supposed to be outside."

"I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours then." Mike waved goodbye as he walked over to his car, and I slid into the passenger seat of the Camaro.

"How does Alice do it?" I complained.

"Hello to you too." Edward chuckled.

"Hi." I smiled sheepishly at him. "I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Does she have a crystal ball or something?"

"I don't know, she's always been a bit weird that way." Edward followed Mike out of the parking lot. "Even when we were kids. Esme would suggest having a picnic, and Alice would say something like, "it's going to rain tomorrow" and, sure enough, it always did."

"You do realize that that's a bit freaky."

"I agree." He chuckled. "But also very handy."

He dropped me off at my place, having been ordered by Alice to go straight home after work so he could help her set everything up and get ready for the party.

I quickly packed everything I needed for the night and the following day in my overnight bag. We had decided to revisit the meadow in the woods, assuming, of course, that the weather cooperated. I went downstairs and tossed the bag into the truck before starting to get ready. I picked out a denim skirt that Rosalie had convinced me to buy the last time we had been in Seattle, and a baby-blue top. Alice had told me that she would never speak to me again if I showed up in jeans and a t-shirt. I didn't think she would actually follow through on her threat, but I thought it was best not to risk it. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I headed out the door and down the stairs.

Charlie would be home soon, so I took a plate of leftover lasagna from the previous day from the fridge and put it in the microwave. I didn't need any food, since Alice was going all out with a buffet and barbecue at the party.

"Bells?" Charlie called as he opened the front door just when the microwave beeped.

"Kitchen, dinner!" I called back, and he emerged in the doorway a moment later.

"You're not eating?" He wondered when he saw the single plate on the table.

"Birthday party, remember?" I grabbed my car keys from the counter. "Got to go."

"Wish them a happy birthday from me." Charlie called after me.

I jumped into the truck and started the engine, Verve Pipe's _The Freshmen_ greeting me from the speakers. With some force, I was able to roll the windows almost all the way down, and turned the volume up as I pulled out from the curb.

Alice appeared at my side the minute I pulled up outside the big house, opening the door and pulling me out of the truck.

"You're here!" She exclaimed. "And you look really nice!"

"You don't have to sound so surprised." I muttered as I hugged her tightly. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you!" She took my hand and led me towards the house. "Come on."

"Bella!" I was enveloped in Rosalie's arms as soon as I had walked through the door.

"Hi Rose." I hadn't talked to her since she and Emmett had left for Seattle the previous Saturday.

"I've missed you!" She said, releasing me.

"I've missed you too. How's Seattle?"

"It's great, actually, but I think I've gotten a case of homesickness." She frowned. "I've always hated Forks, but now I actually miss it."

"Really?" It sounded impossible to me. Sure, friends and family, but not the town itself.

"She's just getting sentimental." Emmett came up and gave me a bone crushing hug, lifting me at least a foot off the floor. "Hey kiddo."

"Can't breathe, Emm." He chuckled as he put me down.

"Ready to party? Ali's really gone all out on this one." That was when I first noticed the patio and the back garden outside the open glass doors. There were three large party tents behind the patio; the buffet set up under one of them, tables and chairs under another, and the third one covering a wooden dance floor. Next to the Jacuzzi, Carlisle was lighting the grill while Esme supervised.

"Wow." I was amazed. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that I had left Forks, and Washington altogether, and ended up in California or Florida. I was reminded of a garden party in Phoenix that Renée had dragged me to a couple of years earlier. "We're definitely not in Kansas anymore." The others laughed.

"I tried to tell her that it's too much, but you know Alice." Edward's arms came around me and encircled my waist. I twisted a little so I could give him a kiss.

"It's just enough." Alice objected. "This is going to be the greatest party this town has ever seen.

"I have no doubt about that." I had to give her credit; if anyone could pull off something like this, it was Alice. "Hey, Ali, do you want your present now or later?"

"I told you I just wanted you to come to the party!" She tried to sound annoyed, but I could hear the excitement shine through.

I handed her the wrapped box and waited as she opened it.

"Oh, it's so pretty!" She exclaimed as she held up the necklace. The green gem sparkled in the sunlight. "And it goes perfectly with my outfit." She was wearing a short, black skirt and a white Babydoll top.

"Anything goes with your outfit, Ali." Rosalie pointed out, but Alice ignored her.

"Will you put it on?" She handed me the necklace, and I fastened it around her neck. She checked her reflection in the mirror, and then gave me a hug, which was quite a feat, considering Edward's arms were still wrapped around my waist. "I love it, thank you."

"She has quite the gift for finding perfect presents, doesn't she?" Edward said, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"Did you give him the book already?" Alice asked, and I nodded. "I told you he would love it, didn't I?"

Pretty soon, people started arriving, and we all tried to mingle as best we could. After a while, I ended up on the patio with Angela and Ben.

"This place is huge." Ben noted. I shrugged.

"You get used to it. I barely ever get lost anymore, you just have to remember to take a right at the moat, or you'll end up in the east wing. And stay out of the dungeons unless you have a bunch of breadcrumbs at hand."

"You do practically live here, Bella." Angela laughingly pointed out.

"I do not." I felt a little bad; I knew I had been neglecting Angela the past week. We didn't see each other in school anymore, and I hadn't gotten around to calling her yet. But she had a boyfriend too, and a summer job, so I knew she understood.

"Shopping trip to Port Angeles next weekend?" She now suggested with a smile.

"Sounds great." Angela was a really good friend, and I promised myself to see her more often from then on.

"You want to bring Alice along too, so I can get Jasper out on a hike in the park?" Edward asked, joining us on the patio.

"Sure, it'll be fun." I said, and Angela nodded.

Soon after everyone had finished eating, people started dancing to the music coming through the open glass doors, and a few jumped into the pool or the Jacuzzi. I spotted Mike talking to a couple of other guys from our year, and went over to say hi.

"Are you having fun?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Sure. The food was great, and me and the guys were just talking about taking a swim." He looked skeptically at the pool. "It is a little cold, though."

"The water is heated." I assured him, and that seemed to settle the deal, because the two other guys pulled him along into the house to change into swim trunks.

People started leaving a little before eleven, and by half past, all the guests were gone.

"How about a dip in the Jacuzzi before bed?" Rosalie suggested, and we all agreed. Emmet, Jasper and Rosalie already had their swimwear on, so they jumped straight in while the rest of us went in to change.

The warm water was a nice contrast to the by now slightly chilly air. After a while, Esme and Carlisle came out and said goodnight before heading to bed.

We stayed in the tub talking and laughing until after midnight. Alice and Jasper were first to leave, and shortly after them, Emmett and Rose went to bed too.

"Alone at last." Edward mumbled, pulling me close for a kiss.

"Finally." I agreed, wrapping my arms around his neck.

His arms came around my waist, and he lifted me into his lap. I moved around a little until I was straddling his legs and pressed myself closer to him. I was rewarded with a low groan. His hands tangled in my hair and he pulled me even closer.

"Maybe we should take this someplace a little more private?" He suggested. I smiled and pulled him with me out of the Jacuzzi.


	11. 11 Falling Stars

**AN: 2000 hits! Yay! Thanks, guys!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. **

**11 – ****Falling Stars**

The clouds were once again in their usual place over Forks when I woke up at half past nine the morning after the big party, and I realized that the hike to the meadow would have to wait for another day. I pulled the cover up to my chin and snuggled closer to Edward.

"Morning." He wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Morning." I replied. "It's cloudy." He opened one eye and looked out the window.

"It is." He concluded. "Perfect stay-in-bed-all-day weather."

"I like the way you think." I giggled. "And I hate to poop on the party here, but I suspect that Alice is expecting some help with cleaning up the disaster area that is currently your back yard."

"Damn Alice and her over-the-top party." He grumbled. "It was her idea; she can clean up after it herself."

"Oh, come on. You had a good time, admit it. Besides, if we don't volunteer, you know she'll just come up here and drag us out of bed."

"Fine." He pulled the cover off us, and I shivered a little as the cool air hit my skin, still warm from the bed. "If we're getting up, might as well get it over with."

"OK." I pulled on a t-shirt that was hanging over the armrest of the couch. "But I get the shower first."

"We could always share." He suggested, his fingers sliding over my still exposed thigh. I playfully slapped his hand away, but he just let the other one wander up my stomach under the t-shirt instead.

"We both know that that would be very counterproductive." I hurried to get up from the bed before his exploring hands made me forget what I was supposed to be doing. I was sure that the others were already up, and I didn't want to give Emmett any fuel for his sexual innuendo fire. He definitely didn't need any help in that department.

"You're no fun." Edward complained, slumping back down on the bed. I leaned down and gave him a slow, lingering kiss.

"You'll just have to keep that thought for tonight." I told him before heading out the door.

Like I had suspected, the whole family was gathered in the living room when we got downstairs.

"Sleep well, kids?" Carlisle wondered, and we both nodded.

"There are pancakes in the fridge." Esme said with a smile. "We didn't know when you would be getting up, so we had breakfast without you."

I took a couple of plates from one of the kitchen cupboards while Edward put the plate with the pancakes into the microwave.

"Any plans for today?" Jasper asked.

"The weather's not cooperating, so no." I replied, putting a pancake on my plate and pouring syrup on it. I brought the plate and a glass of orange juice to the bar counter, and Edward joined me a moment later.

"We're going to Sunset Lanes after lunch, if you want to come?" Alice said.

"Sure, I'm up for some bowling." Edward nodded. "Is that OK with you?"

"If you want to set me lose on people with a bowling ball, be my guest." I shrugged and everyone laughed. "I wouldn't expect everyone to return with all their limbs still attached and intact, though."

"There is a doctor in the house." Emmett teased. "Dad'll be able to patch us back together if you do too much damage."

"Maybe not the greatest idea." Edward acknowledged. "I wonder if they have plastic balls, not as heavy if you…" I cut him off by elbowing him in the ribs, and he chuckled.

"We can play some pool, Bella." Alice said. "You can't do much damage with that… I think…" She drifted off, and I imagined her picturing me with a cue in my hand.

"Sure. As long as everyone keep their distance when it's my turn." I winced at the thought of what could happen if someone stood too close to me. "You know what they say; it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. I do not want to be the one who made that saying literal."

When Edward and I had finished breakfast, we all helped to clean up on the patio and lawn behind the house. The guys took down the tents while we girls gathered all the paper cups and plates that littered the area into garbage bags. A couple of orphaned items of clothing were collected in a plastic bag, waiting to be returned to their rightful owners.

At one, Esme and Rosalie went inside to start lunch, and by the time they called us in to eat, we had finished the clean-up. Emmett and Edward dragged the full trash bags around front for the garbage truck to pick up later in the week.

We went to the bowling place after lunch, and actually ended up having a lot of fun. We got two lanes, one for us girls and one for the guys, and we got the inflatable things on our lane. I managed to not drop the bowling ball on anyone's foot, including my own, and also avoided poking someone's eye out when we played pool. All in all, a very successful outing, injury-wise.

After we left Sunset Lanes, Edward and I put in an appearance at my house while the others went back to the Cullens'. I knew Charlie was home, since Billy, his fishing buddy, had gone out of town for the weekend, and I felt a little guilty that I was leaving him all alone. I fixed some dinner for the three of us, and after we had eaten we left Charlie to his baseball game and headed back to Edward's place for a movie night.

xxxxx

At the end of June, Edward and I both had a week off from work, and actually managed to find a couple of cheap plane tickets to Jacksonville. Renée was ecstatic that I was finally coming to visit, and of course about getting to meet my boyfriend. I spent the entire flight there worrying about what she would do to embarrass me. But she actually behaved, which I was very grateful for. A couple of childhood photos were displayed, and some slightly embarrassing stories told, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

We spent most of the days by the pool in the backyard, enjoying the sun and heat that was very different from Forks. In the evenings we went to different restaurants, Phil insisting on treating everyone now that he had finally gotten good a job; he was coaching a local Minor League baseball team. He worked the whole time we were there, but Renée was on vacation from the school she worked at and happily lounged in the sun with us. By the end of the week, I was the only one who was still as pale as I always was.

The last day before we were leaving, Renée insisted on getting in some quality mother-daughter time, so we went to a mall a few blocks from the house to do some shopping. Or, more correctly, she shopped and I tagged along for moral support and taste advice.

"I don't want you to go back to Forks tomorrow." She complained while we were having lunch in the food court.

"I'm going to miss you too." I replied. She looked a little disappointed, and I realized that she had been hoping that I would say that I didn't have to go back. A couple of months earlier she had asked if I wanted to come and live with her and Phil again now that they had a permanent home. She hadn't said anything, but I had been able to tell that she had been disappointed when I had replied that Forks was my home now.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised." She sighed. "I just miss having you around; the house isn't the same without you."

"I know." But Renée was a creature of habit, she would get used to life without me. And she had Phil. Besides, I would be going to college the year after anyway, which was what I told her.

"I know that." She shrugged. "I'm just being silly-mom, I know. But can you at least promise to come and visit more often? I haven't seen you in almost six months."

"I'll try, but plane tickets are expensive you know." Edward and I had already talked about maybe visiting again at Christmas, but I didn't want to tell her that in case it fell through. I had planned to save up as much money as I could since I was working the rest of the summer. I knew Edward would pay for the tickets if I asked him, but I wasn't comfortable with him spending a lot of money on me.

"Phil and I will chip in, and I'm sure Charlie would help you out if you asked." Renée got a hopeful look on her face.

"Charlie has his own stuff to worry about." I told her.

She started playing with the straw in her drink, and I realized that something uncomfortable was coming. She always distracted herself by fiddling with something or other when she had to talk about things she wasn't completely at ease with.

"Bella, I've been watching you and Edward this past week, and I just wanted to talk to you about a few things." She glanced up at me briefly before turning her attention back to the drink in front of her.

Great. Another sex talk. At least it shouldn't be as uncomfortable as it had been with Charlie. Renée and I had already had The Talk a couple of years earlier. Of course, then it had only been about her wanting to make sure I knew what would inevitably happen a few years later. It was different now that I actually had a boyfriend.

"Mom, you really don't have to. They have sex education in school these days, you know." I could feel the color rising on my face as I spoke, and I followed her example, looking down on the tray on the table in front of me.

"Not that. Well, not just that." I waited patiently as she tried to find the right words. "I know that first love can feel like it's everything in the entire world. I got married at eighteen, remember?" She paused and toyed with her straw some more. "I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I'm not saying that I regret marrying your father, and certainly not having you, but if I could have a do-over, I would do things differently. Wait a little longer before jumping head-first into adult life, for example."

I contemplated her words. I understood where she came from, and tried to ease her concernes. She really had nothing to worry about.

"I have no intention whatsoever of getting married right after high school." I told her. "I'm going to college, getting a career and all that before I even think about marriage." The word sounded weird when I said it. "But I mean, sure, I hope that Edward will be the guy that I end up with. When I _eventually_ get married." I stressed eventually a little more than necessary.

"I just think that your relationship is a little… intense."

I couldn't argue with her on that point. Edward and I did have an intense relationship. We spent almost all of our free time together, either alone or with friends. If we didn't spend the evening together, we'd talk on the phone for hours. But that was just the way we worked, both of us. And maybe that wasn't normal, but what was?

"I'm happy, mom." I finally said. "Can't you settle for that?"

"Of course, honey. I didn't mean it like that at all." She quickly assured me. "All I ever want is for you to be happy."

xxxxx

After our shopping trip to Port Angeles, Angela and I had set up a weekly "date" so as not to fall out of touch during the summer. Every Thursday, we'd go to Port Angeles to see a movie, or we'd hang out at Angela's or my place and order pizza or do something else. One weekend, we even went to Seattle with Edward, Alice and Jasper to visit Rosalie and Emmett and look at their new apartment.

"Do you want to see a movie, or head over to Bella Rosa and just hang?" Angela asked one day as we were walking down East First Street.

"Is there anything good playing that we haven't already seen?" I wondered. We paused in front of the movie theater and looked at the posters.

"Well, there's _Rugrats_." Angela giggled.

"I have been dying to see that." I rolled my eyes. "Chuckie's just soooo cute!"

Angela laughed, surveying the other movie posters.

"According to Ben, _2 Fast 2 Furious_ is, and I quote "the greatest movie ever made". Of course, he said that about the first one, too."

"Two hours watching cars? No thank you." I frowned.

"Oh thank God!" Angela laughed again, looped her arm through mine and pulled me along down the street. "Coffee and gossip it is."

We got to the coffee shop and I sat down at our regular table while Angela went to get our coffees and something sugary. We had quickly become regulars at Bella Rosa, since the coffee was the best in town, and they always had something tasty as well. Today, Angela opted for strawberry pies.

"I just couldn't resist them." She put a cup and a plate down in front of me and I took a sip of the coffee.

"They look delicious." I assured her.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" She asked after she had sat down opposite me.

"I think we're going in to town to watch the parade – Alice apparently has a thing for it – and then we're going to Tillicum Park to watch the fireworks." The next day was Fourth of July, and Forks had already started buzzing with the annual old fashioned Fourth of July celebration.

"Maybe we could go to the park together?" Angela suggested, and I quickly agreed.

"That would be fun." Edward and I had been on a double date with Angela and Ben the previous weekend, and we'd had a blast.

"My parents are taking the twins to Seattle tomorrow to watch the big fireworks there, and they won't be home until Saturday." Angela said, looking at her coffee as she stirred it.

"They are?" I could sense that there was something she wanted to talk about, but I didn't want to push, so I just waited for her to continue.

"I was thinking about maybe asking Ben to stay over." She blushed a little as she said this.

"Oh, I see." I wondered how to phrase my question. "And you haven't… before, I mean?"

"No." She shook her head. "And I'm pretty sure that he hasn't either, so I'm a little nervous."

"That's perfectly normal." I assured her.

"I know, right?" She sighed. "I just don't know how to bring it up."

"Why don't you just ask him to stay over, and see how things unfold? I mean, it's not the end of the world if nothing happens, you don't have to rush anything."

"You're right." She smiled and nodded. "You always know what to say to make me comfortable, why is that?"

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"So, speaking of… what we actually haven't mentioned, how's Edward?"

"Good. I'm going over there when we get back." Since I didn't have to work the next day, I was staying at his house that night.

"Then we'd better hurry, don't want to keep him waiting." She smirked at me.

"No, that's not what I meant." I hurried to add. "He knows I'll be late, it's not a problem."

"You do realize you have the perfect boyfriend, right?"

"The thought has occurred to me." I smiled to myself. "But yours isn't half bad either."

"He'll do for now." She joked. "I'm actually still amazed that he asked me to prom in the first place."

"Why? You're pretty, nice and funny. Why wouldn't he want to be with you?"

"Stop. You're going to make me blush."

We continued gossiping about our boyfriends until we ran out of coffee.

xxxxx

"We're going to miss it!" Alice complained at twenty past ten the following morning.

"No, we're not." Rosalie assured her, checking her make up in the mirror one last time. "And if you're so gung-ho about it, just leave already. We'll take the Jeep."

Emmett and Rosalie had come up to Forks for the Fourth of July celebrations, and Rose, Alice and I were just about to head out the door. The guys were waiting outside with Carlisle and Esme.

"There. Perfect." Rosalie concluded. Alice sighed in relief.

"Finally. Let's go." She led the way downstairs and out the front door, and we quickly divided ourselves into the cars.

We did not miss the parade, despite Alice's fears; we got there just in time.

"See? I told you." Rosalie muttered, and Alice stuck her tongue out.

I spotted Angela and Ben a few feet away and left the others to go and say hi to them.

"Hi Bella." Angela greeted as soon as she spotted us, giving me a quick thumbs up. She had apparently been successful in asking Ben to stay over that night.

"Hi Ang, Ben."

"Hi Bella." Ben replied.

"So, should we just meet up at the park later?"I asked. "We're going to order pizza before we head into town for the fireworks, if you feel like coming over."

Angela gave Ben a questioning look, and he nodded.

"That sounds good."

"Sure, that would be fun." Angela said. "What time?"

"Around six?" I suggested.

"Sounds great, we'll be there."

"OK, I'm going to get back to the others. See you guys later." I waved and walked back to where the Cullens were standing.

"How're Ben and Angela?" Edward asked as I rejoined them.

"Good, I invited them for pizza tonight before the fireworks, I hope that's OK."

"Of course." He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I turned in his embrace so that I could watch the parade, leaning my head back against his chest.

xxxxx

"Wow. Pretty." I mumbled as green sparkles spread across the sky.

We had brought a couple of blankets with us to the park, and everyone were sitting or lying on them. I was lying down with my head on Edward's chest, the two of us making a T on the ground. To our right, Angela and Ben were sitting on their blanket, and to our left, Alice and Jasper were curled up on theirs.

The park was full of people; young couples on dates, groups of teenagers, families with children, old retired couples holding hands. The fireworks had just started, and the sky was exploding with sparks of different colors.

"They've been lucky with the weather." Edward noted. "Last year it was so cloudy, you could hardly even see the fireworks."

"It really is a starry night." I gazed at the tiny, sparkling dots far, far above us. "Is that Ursa Major?"

He looked where I pointed.

"Yeah."

"It's the only one I can find." Suddenly, a bright light crossed the sky well away from where the fireworks were exploding.

"Did you see that? A shooting star." He pointed at the sky where it had disappeared. "Make a wish."

I closed my eyes and wished that the night would never end.

"Did you make a wish?" I asked when I opened my eyes again.

"I don't need to."

xxxxx

I waited anxiously outside Newton's Olympic Outfitters after work the following Monday. Edward was ten minutes late, and wasn't answering his cell phone. When he finally pulled into the parking lot, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Sorry I'm late." He mumbled when I got into the car. "Got stuck at the hospital."

"That's OK." I studied his face, and noticed that he looked very tense. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine." He replied, but the answer came a little too quickly to be assuring. "Just tired."

I frowned, but didn't push it. I was sure that there was something bothering him, but apparently he didn't want to talk about it at the moment. I had no doubt that he'd tell me what was wrong eventually.

He dropped me off at Charlie's, and grabbed my hand before I got out of the car.

"You're coming over after dinner?" He asked, an underlying tone of something in his voice. Desperation?

"Of course." I replied, leaning over to give him a quick goodbye kiss, but he pulled me closer and didn't let me go for several minutes.

"See you later." He mumbled as he pulled away from me, and I got out of the car. I watched as he drove down the street, and wondered what had gotten into him. It was almost like he thought he would never see me again.

xxxxx

Edward's mood didn't change as the week progressed, and by my Thursday night "date" with Angela, it was starting to really bug me. I had even tried to talk to Alice about it, but she just shrugged it off, saying that she hadn't noticed anything different about him. Which hadn't really done anything to calm me down, since she had been acting very evasive, quickly moving on to a different topic.

Since Charlie was spending the evening watching a game at Billy's, Angela and I decided to order Mexican and watch a movie at my place. She knocked on the door at eight.

"Hey, come on in." I said, stepping aside to let her in.

"I've got _Steel Magnolias_." She held up the DVD.

"That always makes me cry." I walked ahead of her into the living room.

"Me too."

We ordered the food, and when I had hung up the phone, I gave Angela a demanding look.

"So? How did it go?" I knew she realized what I was referring to when she blushed.

"It went… OK. I think." She frowned. "I don't really have anything to compare it to, but it was really nice."

"I'm glad." I was happy that Angela was happy, she definitely deserved it.

"What was it like for you, the first time I mean? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"It was really nice. Very romantic." I remembered the day in the clearing. "He took me to this place in the woods, an amazing meadow covered in wild flowers."

"You were outside?" Angela's eyes widened.

"Nobody ever comes there; it's pretty far from the trails." I explained.

"But still."

"I know. But we hadn't really planned it, or anything, it just sort of happened."

"Did it hurt? I thought it did."

"At first, but it didn't last that long." I remembered the brief but piercing pain. "And after that… it's definitely worth it."

"Yeah." She looked at me for a moment. "Are you OK?"

One of the things that I liked the most about Angela was that she knew me well enough to know when something was bothering me even if I didn't say anything. Like now. Another thing was that I knew that she wouldn't push if I said that it was nothing, or that I didn't want to talk about it. But I realized that I did.

"I don't know." I sighed. "Something's up with Edward, but he won't talk about it, he insists that everything is fine."

"How do you mean "up with" him?"

"Well, he was late picking me up from work on Monday, and when he got there he was… just different, I guess." I couldn't put my finger on what it was that really bothered me. "And all week, he's been really intense whenever we're together."

"More intense than usual?" Angela raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't have thought that was possible."

So it wasn't just Renée that had noticed that, then.

"But at the same time, he can't seem to really relax around me either." I continued. "It's like he's always on edge or something. Half the time I get the feeling that he's about to say something, but then he changes his mind. And every time we say goodbye, I almost get the feeling that he's afraid he'll never see me again or something."

"That does sound weird."

"I know." I sighed again. "Alice says that she hasn't noticed anything, so maybe I'm just imagining things. Overreacting."

"If you're really worried, I think you should talk to him about it."

I had thought about that, about simply confronting him. The only thing stopping me was the fact that I was worried that I wouldn't like what I would hear. My internal coward had won, and I had kept my mouth shut about my worries.

"I probably should." I said, grimacing a little.

"Or maybe it's just a very long mood swing." Angela suggested, sensing that I didn't really like her initial idea. "I mean, he's been extremely happy every since you got together, it was bound to end at some point, right? The honeymoon-phase of your relationship is over, and this is just his usual not-in-a-new-relationship behavior."

I supposed that could be it, but it was just… I sighed, and mentally decided to let it go.

Things did get a little better over the next couple of weeks. Edward was still very intense whenever we said goodbye, but that was actually really nice. He seemed more relaxed when we were together, even though I still sometimes got the feeling that he wanted to say something but changed his mind at the last minute.

On the Friday before our very last week of the summer holidays, he picked me up from work as usual. Once again I got the feeling that something was wrong when I got into the car, but he didn't say anything.

"Can I come in for a moment?" He asked as we pulled up outside my house.

I frowned at this, since our usual Friday routine was that he dropped me off so I could make dinner and spend some time with Charlie, and then I would go over to the Cullens' for the rest of the night. I immediately got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Sure." I managed to sound casual and led the way into the house.

I went into the kitchen to check on the meat I was planning to cook for dinner that night, and he followed me, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"There's something that I need to talk to you about." He started, and I felt my heart drop into my feet.

"What's up?" I didn't recognize the cheerful tone in my voice, and didn't know where it had come from.

"We're leaving."

**AN: I know, I know, you hate me! But ****you knew this was coming! I'm sorry, please don't shoot me just yet…**


	12. 12 Broken

**AN: Here's the next chapter for you guys!**** I was going to update earlier, but the site went all wonky – sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

**12 – Broken**

"Leaving? What do you mean you're leaving?" I could hardly get the words out, my insides felt like ice.

"I mean that we're moving away from Forks. Carlisle has gotten a job offer that he couldn't refuse." He avoided my eyes as he spoke, looking at the floor, the walls, out the window. Anywhere but at me.

"What?"

I tried to wrap my mind around what he was saying, but couldn't get the words to make any sense. He didn't continue as I unsuccessfully tried to grasp the situation.

"When?" I finally asked.

"Today."

That's when I got mad.

"What? What the hell Edward?" And then it hit me. "You've known about this for a while, haven't you? Ever since that day last month when you were late picking me up? That's what's been going on! I knew there was something."

"I'm sorry." He closed his eyes. "I tried to tell you, I really did, but I just… I couldn't. I chickened out every time I tried. And then more and more time passed, and I knew that you would be mad that I hadn't told you right away, so I pushed it off even more."

"And what? You thought that you'd just let me figure it out on my own, is that it?" I could hear the angry undertone in my own voice. "When you didn't show up tomorrow and nobody answered when I called the house?"

"No, of course not." He opened his eyes again, but still avoided looking at me. "I'm telling you now."

"Oh, well, thanks a lot! That just makes it all better, doesn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I wish there was something I could do about this, but there isn't. Believe me, I've tried."

"Oh really? Or maybe you just thought it would be an easy way out of this?" I knew that I was being unfair, but I just didn't care. Anger was better than completely falling apart in front of him.

"Out of what?" He realized what I meant, and started shaking his head. "No, of course not, that's not it at all, you have to believe…"

"I really don't." I said coldly. "I mean, what did you think would happen? We'd do one of those long-distance relationships until one of us got sick of it? We both know those never work." As I said the words, every fiber of my being was screaming for him to contradict them, to say that we could make it work. That we would. That this was not the end of our relationship.

But he didn't.

I felt a need to distance myself from him physically, so I moved into the corner of the kitchen that was furthest away from where he was standing. I wrapped my arms around myself, desperately trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to escape, to hold myself together.

"I guess not." He finally said in an empty voice. I could feel his eyes on me, but it was my turn to avoid meeting his gaze, and I stared intently at the floor. "I should probably go. They're waiting for me. I'm sorry."

And he left. Just like that, he walked out of my house and out of my life. I was completely alone. It felt like he had taken a part of me with him, like I was completely hollow inside, and I had to struggle to be able to breathe.

I somehow made it into the living room and curled up on the couch, hugging my knees to my chest. That's how Charlie found me almost two hours later.

"Bella?" He frowned as he saw me on the couch. "What's wrong?"

I started crying then. And I just couldn't stop.

xxxxx

I only have vague memories of the week following my breakdown, bits and pieces here and there, nothing solid. I spent the time curled into a ball under the covers in my bed, Charlie alternating between hovering in my room and talking to Renée on the phone, trying to figure out what to do with me. She and Phil were on vacation in Jamaica, and she couldn't get a flight back. I only left the bed to go to the bathroom when I absolutely had to, and barely touched the food that Charlie brought up for me.

The day after – at least I think it was the day after, time was a little blurry – the phone rang when I was on my way to the bathroom. I heard Charlie answer and paused for a moment when my dazed brain for some reason registered that it wasn't Renée on the other end of the line.

"Hello? Oh, hi sweetheart… I'm sorry, I don't think that's a good idea right now… she's not doing very well, and I'm worried that talking to you might make it worse…"

I came to the conclusion that he was talking to Alice, and closed the bathroom door behind me. I really didn't want to talk to her, not at the moment.

Angela came over at some point during my own personal week in hell. She didn't try to make me talk, only got in the bed behind me and hugged me tightly. Her presence made it a little easier for a while, not quite so hard to breathe, but the second she left, the hole inside me opened up again and I wrapped my arms even tighter around my body.

The nights were just as bad, if not worse. I always woke up screaming at some point, but never remembered the nightmare that had scared me so much.

The next time I had contact with the outside world was when I overheard another phone call after a trip to the bathroom.

"Hello? Hi, Renée… no, no change, she's still just lying there… I don't know what to do, she won't eat, she won't talk to me, she won't even get out of bed other than to go to the bathroom… school is starting again on Monday, and if I can't get her to go, I don't… really, tomorrow? Oh thank God. I hope you'll be able to get through to her, because I sure can't. Maybe it would be better for her if she went to Jacksonville with you, got away from everything here."

I realized that Renée was flying to Forks the following day, that she wanted to bring me to Jacksonville with her, and something inside me snapped.

I had no right to ruin the lives of the people who cared about me. I was miserable, and that wasn't likely to change anytime soon, but there was no need to bring Charlie and Renée down with me. And, for some reason which I couldn't quite figure out, I didn't want to leave Forks, no matter how much being here would hurt. So I did what I hadn't done in a week; I got dressed and went downstairs.

Charlie was still on the phone when I came into the kitchen, and cut himself off mid sentence when he saw me.

"Bella?"

I could hear Renée's voice over the line, but he ignored her.

"It's OK dad." I said, my voice a little hoarse from lack of use. "You can tell mom that she doesn't have to come here."

It was really all I could muster, so I left the kitchen and curled up in a corner of the couch, listening as Charlie quietly finished the phone call.

"I don't know, she just came downstairs all of a sudden… well, she's out of bed and actually dressed, so hopefully the worst is over… of course I'll call if it gets worse again… OK… I will… bye."

It took him a few minutes to come into the living room after having hung up the phone, and I wondered just how bad the past week had been. When he finally emerged from the kitchen, he sat down on the couch beside me, but didn't touch me.

"How are you feeling?"

"OK, I think." There was no way I was telling him that it felt like I had a hole the size of the Grand Canyon in my chest that threatened to tear me apart completely. I would just have to get better at not letting my feelings show; hide the almost physical pain, so he wouldn't worry.

"I'm glad. I was really worried for a while."

"I'm sorry." I leaned my cheek against my knees and looked at the clock on the wall behind Charlie – it was a little after twelve, and since it was light outside, I came to the conclusion that it was noon. "Is today Friday?" I really had no concept of time.

"Saturday." I saw him frown a little. "School starts on Monday, do you think you'll feel up to going?"

"Of course." Getting out of the house might be a good idea, and in school I would hopefully be too preoccupied with other stuff to think too much about… I quickly averted my thoughts and squeezed my eyes shut against the stab of pain.

"Are you hungry? I was just about to make some lunch." Charlie got up from the couch and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Lunch would be nice." I really had no idea if I was hungry or not, but eating would be an expected part of the new Bella's-fine routine, so I might as well get started right away.

Charlie made us each two sandwiches with ham and cheese, and I was surprised when I realized that it tasted really good, and that I actually was hungry. I finished the first one and reached for the second, and I could see a relieved look on Charlie's face.

"Is there anything you need for school?" He asked when we had finished lunch.

"No. We…" Another pang of pain. "I got everything in Port Angeles a couple of weeks ago."

"Right." He nodded, and I suddenly felt the need to get out of the house, before he started asking about what had happened _that_ day. I knew that I couldn't deal with that just yet.

"I think I'm going to call Angela, see if she wants to do something." I hurried into the kitchen before he could object.

"_Hello?"_

"Angela? Hi."

"_Bella! Hi."_ I was eternally grateful that she didn't follow her greeting with "how are you?"

"I really need to get out of the house for a while; do you want to do something?"

"_Well, I'm watching the twins__ right now, but you can come over here if you want. My parents should be home in an hour or so, and then we can do something else."_

"That sounds great." I let out a sigh of relief. "I'll be there in a little while."

"_OK, see you then."_

I hung up the phone and returned to the living room

"I'm going over to Angela's, is that OK?" I wondered if Charlie would insist that I stayed home.

"Of course, go. I might call Billy; he's been nagging me about going fishing all week." I felt guilty, since I was the reason that he hadn't been able to go. Charlie hadn't even left the house in days. "But I won't be late." He hurried to add, and I realized that he must be worried about what would happen if I came home to an empty house.

"OK." I suddenly realized that a shower might be a good idea, and headed up the stairs instead of out the door. I took a quick shower and put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before leaving the house, calling a halfhearted goodbye to Charlie as I headed out the door.

My eyes weren't used to the daylight after being cooped up in my semi-dark bedroom for so long, and I had to squint for a moment on the porch. It wasn't exactly sunny, but the clouds that were covering the sky weren't very thick either. The fact that it – for once – wasn't raining surprised me, as if I had subconsciously expected the weather to be affected by my mood.

I started the car, and when I heard the music coming from the speakers, I quickly hit the eject button and tossed the blank CD on the floor. I violently shoved The Cure's _The wish_ into the stereo instead and headed off towards Angela's house.

I knocked on the door, and she opened it almost immediately, making me wonder if she had been waiting just inside the door.

"Hi." She smiled at me. "I heard the truck."

Of course. Why was I so paranoid?

"Hi." I tried to return the smile, but wasn't sure if I managed to pull off anything more than a twitch of the lips. I couldn't really care, either.

"Come on in." She walked ahead of me into the kitchen, where we had a good view of her twin brothers who were building a fort out of chairs and blankets in the living room. "I just made coffee, do you want some?"

"Coffee sounds heavenly." I replied, and it was true. The smell almost made my mouth water.

She poured us each a large cup and we sat down at the kitchen table.

"Do you want to head down to Port Angeles later?" She wondered, taking a sip of her coffee. "We could go see a movie or something."

"Sure." Just had to avoid anything romantic, and I would be fine. I hoped.

"Great."

I suddenly realized that Angela might be doing something with Ben that night, and felt bad for just assuming that she didn't have any plans.

"I'm not ruining your plans for tonight, am I? I mean, it is Saturday, and if you and Ben are…"

"No, of course not." She interrupted me, but I wasn't completely sure I believed her. "If anything, you're saving me from another night of poorly dubbed kung-fu movies."

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Really! And anyway, Ben gets that I need a girls' night every now and then, so don't worry about it."

I suspected that Angela had called her parents and told them that I was coming over, because they didn't seem surprised to see me when they got home an hour and a half later. And the fact that they were almost too casual told me that they knew about my little episode.

"Hi, Bella, it's nice to see you." Mrs. Weber greeted me. "How's Charlie?"

"Fishing with Billy, as always." I said, trying to sound cheerful. Even I could hear that I failed miserably, but nobody said anything.

"Business as usual then." Mr. Weber noted.

"We thought we'd head down to Port Angeles, maybe catch a movie or something." Angela told her parents.

"Sure, sweetie. Will you be home for dinner?" Mrs. Weber wondered.

"Do you want to get something to eat there later?" Angela asked me, and I shrugged.

"Sure, that sounds good."

"We won't wait for you then, honey." Mrs. Weber concluded.

We took the truck to Port Angeles; I wasn't sure that I would be able to concentrate on _not_ thinking if I just sat next to Angela the entire way there, and she didn't object when I suggested that I'd drive.

We headed straight to the movie theater to see what was playing, and surveyed the posters outside. Among the movies that we hadn't already seen were a couple of romantic comedies and dramas, and I waited anxiously for Angela to suggest something. Luckily, she must have realized that romance was not the way to go.

"I'm in the mood for some horror." She said, pointing to a poster for _Jeepers Creepers II_. "I thought the first one was pretty good."

I hadn't sent the first movie, since horror films really weren't my style. But it would do fine today. Blood and guts might be a good distraction. Maybe I'd even manage to have a different nightmare – one that I could actually remember, and brush off as set off by the movie – if I watched something like that.

"Sure." I agreed, and we went inside to get the tickets.

The movie didn't start until five, so we strolled down East First Street doing some window shopping to pass the time.

"So…" Angela started after a while, and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. "School is starting again on Monday." Not what I had expected, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. Senior year." The thought seemed absurd. I forced myself not to think about all the times we had talked about how great our last year of high school would be. None of the things we had planned were going to happen now anyway. No point in living in the past.

"A little scary, isn't it?" Angela said. "I mean, college applications, finals and all that. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do after high school."

"Me neither. But I'll probably end up at Seattle U, I can't afford to go to an out of state college."

"I'll probably apply there too." She agreed. "Wouldn't it be fun if we both got in? To enroll together next fall."

"Yeah." It would be nice to know somebody in the city.

The movie turned out to be just as horrible as I had hoped, and both Angela and I jumped out of our seats more than once.

"Wow, that was scary." Angela said as we walked from the theater to Gordy's for pizza after the movie. "I don't really like horror movies, but I thought you might want to see something… non romantic."

Here we go then.

"I'm not going to ask about it." She gave me an understanding look. "Just… I'm here, if you need me. You know that?"

I nodded.

"I know. And I appreciate it. Just… not right now." I felt a lump forming in my throat, and the hole inside me stung as I touched on the subject.

"OK, good. I just wanted to make sure that you know that I'm here for you whenever you need me." Angela looped her arm through mine.

"Thank you."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

xxxxx

That night, I remembered the nightmare for the first time. I wasn't sure if this was better, though. And it definitely wasn't a result of watching the horrible movie.

It seemed so real. We were back in my kitchen, and he turned to leave. Only this time I followed him out through the door. I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't keep up with him. The distance between us just increased, until he disappeared into the woods. And then I woke up.

The pain in my chest was almost palpable, and I started to shiver. I wrapped the cover tightly around my body and waited for dawn.

I spent the day cleaning the entire house, from the attic to the basement and everything in between. I dusted, vacuumed, wiped the floor, cleaned the stove, cupboards and fridge in the kitchen, scrubbed the bathtub, sink and toilet in the bathroom, threw out old magazines and expired food, cleaned out my closet and gathered clothes in a trash bag to donate to Goodwill. The last thing I did was to gather everything in my room and the truck – CD's, books, clothes, photos – that in any way reminded me of him. I stuffed everything in a cardboard box and unceremoniously dumped it in the basement. I managed not to cry while I did this, but when I came back up from the basement, I curled up in the old rocking chair in my room, wrapped a blanket around me and let the tears escape.

After dinner that night, I realized that the whole school probably knew that the Cullens were gone by now, and that I would attract a fair amount of attention the following day. Charlie had told me that he'd called Mrs. Newton, since I hadn't gone in to work the previous week, and even though I was pretty sure that neither she or Mike would say anything, you couldn't hide anything in a town the size of Forks.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to face everyone in school alone, so I called Angela.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Mrs. Weber, it's Bella. Is Angela there?"

"_Hang on just a minute, Bella, I'll get her__ for you."_

I waited as she called for Angela.

"_Hi, Bella. What's up?"_

"I was just wondering if you mind meeting in the parking lot tomorrow before school? I'm not sure I could deal with everyone staring if I'm on my own."

"_Of course."_ The fact that she didn't contradict my assumption only strengthened my fear that everyone knew. News traveled fast in Forks.

"Great, thank you." I let out a sigh of relief. "I totally owe you one."

"_Don't be silly. I'll see you tomorrow."_

xxxxx

All my fears were confirmed when I got to the school the following day. I could see people turning in my direction as soon as I pulled into the parking lot. I cursed the loudness of the truck as I desperately searched for a parking space and desperately hoped that they at least wouldn't linger to get a look at the dumped girl.

Of course, hoping didn't do much.

Angela was waiting by Ben's car, and I parked in the space next to it.

"Hi." She greeted me with a hug.

"Hi." I mumbled back. "Thanks."

"Come on." She looped her arm with mine and we headed towards the school, everyone in the parking lot staring after us, whispering to each other. "Ignore them." She mumbled in my ear as we passed a group of girls from our year, including Lauren.

"I heard that he didn't even tell her they were leaving." I heard Lauren say when we had passed them; she was speaking so loudly I could only assume that she meant for me to overhear her. "Seems like she's not so special after all, doesn't it?"

"God, she's such a bitch!" Angela exclaimed quietly, and I gaped at her.

"Angela!" I had never heard her use words like that before.

"What? She is!"

"I know." I completely agreed with her. "I just didn't expect you of all people to call her on it."

My hopes that the distraction of school would keep my mind occupied didn't work as well as I had thought. Sure, I had a lot to think about with a new schedule, new locker combination, new classes. But at the same time, there were so many things, too many, about the place that reminded me of _him_. Everywhere I turned, there was some reminder; the table we used to sit at in Bio, his old locker, the place where I'd slipped and broken my wrist the previous winter, the spot where he'd used to meet me and Alice after Computer Science.

When Angela and I walked into the cafeteria for lunch, my eyes automatically traveled to _our_ table. My heart almost stopped when I saw that there were people sitting there, but then I realized that they were new freshmen.

Angela seemed at a loss about what to do when we had paid for our food, and stood hesitating in the middle of the room.

"Why don't you guys sit with us?" Mike came out of nowhere, and I could hear Angela let out a sigh of relief.

"Sure." She quickly agreed, and we followed him to his usual table, which was already occupied by several people, among them Jessica, Eric and, unfortunately, Lauren. Jessica seemed less than thrilled to see me there, and whispered something to Lauren, who glared at me. Not that that was anything new.

"Hey guys." Angela said, sitting down next to Eric.

"Hi." I echoed, taking the seat next to her and trying to focus on the food in front of me to avoid Lauren's evil looks and Jessica's annoyed glances.

"So, Bella, my mom wanted to know if you're interested in working a couple of afternoons a week and maybe a Saturday here and there." I was surprised at Mike's question; I had assumed that Mrs. Newton wouldn't want me anywhere near her store after the previous week.

"Sure, that would be great." I happily welcomed any distraction that I could get. I was already dreading the moment school would be over, and I would have to go home to an empty house.

"Great. Just stop by some time this week, and she said that you could work out a schedule together."

"OK, I'll do that. Thank you."

"No problem."

Mike turned his attention to Jessica, who didn't seem to like that he talked to me. I realized that she saw me as some kind of competition now, and the idea would have made me laugh if it hadn't been for the fact that it brought with it thoughts that I was desperately trying to avoid.

Ben joined us a minute later, and I spent the rest of lunch focusing on the conversation with him and Angela, trying to keep my mind so occupied that it wouldn't accidentally stray into unwanted territory.

xxxxx

I decided that I'd might as well head over to Newton's that afternoon after school. The store was empty except for a couple who was looking at tents at the back, and Mrs. Newton welcomed me with a smile and a concerned hug.

"Hello, dear. I do hope you're feeling better."

I didn't know exactly what Charlie had told her when I hadn't come in to work, but she didn't seem to need an explanation, and I was grateful for that.

"Mike said that I should stop by to work out a schedule. And thank you so much for letting me stay on, it's really nice of you."

"Of course, dear. We all have our rough spots, don't we?" She pulled out a folder from under the counter and flipped it open. "Now, September is still a pretty busy month, so if it's possible I would like for you to come in every day after school until we close, and every other Saturday. Would that work for you?"

"Definitely." The store closed at seven, and then I would have to make dinner and do some homework. If I tried, I could probably stay busy until it was time to go to bed.

"Great! Then in October, the activity dies down a little, so I think we'll divide the shifts between you and Mike. How about if you work Monday, Wednesday and Friday one week, and then Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday the other?"

"That sounds great, Mrs. Newton." I looked around the store. The couple was still looking at tents, and a group of men in their thirties had come in and were checking out the fishing equipment. "Do you want me to start right away?"

"Oh, no, dear. Tomorrow will be fine."

"OK." I wished that she had said yes; I was not looking forward to going home to an empty house.

"See you tomorrow, dear." She called after me as I left the store.

I reluctantly started the truck and slowly drove home. I thought about calling Angela for a moment, but somehow company wasn't very tempting either. I decided to keep myself occupied by doing some laundry until I would have to start dinner.

I was surprised, to say the least, when I got home and found Charlie's police cruiser in the driveway. He usually didn't leave work until at least after six, and it wasn't even five yet. When I got into the house, he was on the phone.

"… I just didn't know who else to call, she's never…" He spotted me coming into the kitchen and paused mid-sentence. "Never mind, Bob, she just walked through the door. Thanks."

"Eh, hi?" I said hesitantly as he hung up the phone.

"Where have you been?" He demanded. "School was over forty-five minutes ago!"

"I didn't know you were waiting for me." I replied honestly. "Mike told me that Mrs. Newton said that I could keep working at their store a couple of days a week if I wanted to, so I stopped by there on my way home to get a schedule."

"Oh. That's good. You could use the extra money." Charlie nodded. "You just had me a little worried."

It had worried him when I hadn't come straight home from school. Putting this together with my state of mind over the past week, I realized that my basically catatonic state had scared him even more than I had thought.

"Dad." I waited until he looked up at me so that he could see that I meant what I was saying. "I'm not going to do anything stupid, if that's what you're worried about." The idea seemed absurd to me, but apparently it was something he was afraid of.

"I know, Bells, I know. I just… I overreacted a little, OK? Isn't that part of my job description as your dad?" He patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and headed into the living room.

I sighed. I would have to work really hard to convince Charlie that I was fine. Which, of course, I wasn't. But I had no intention of letting him, or anyone for that matter, know the amount of pain I was really in. I would just have to put on an act, and hope that at some point it would no longer be necessary.

That moment seemed very far away.

**AN: T****he title of this chapter is a reference to an amazing song by Lifehouse. If you haven't heard it, I definitely recommend checking it out. I felt that the lyrics fit Bella's state of mind. **


	13. 13 Nightmares and Tests

**AN: Another chapter for you, my faithful readers! I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine…**

**13 – ****Nightmares and Tests**

Life goes on. It's a cliché, I know, but it's also true. I didn't necessarily move along at the same pace, though; sometimes it felt like time was just skipping ahead without bothering to check if I was on board or not, and all I could do was cling on for dear life if I didn't want to be left behind.

Things got better in school after a few weeks. Most people got tired of staring at me and whispering behind my back every time I walked into a room pretty quickly, and eventually, Lauren was the only one who glared at me. Since that wasn't exactly new, I simply continued to ignore her. Even Jessica started talking to me again when she realized I wasn't going to make a move on Mike.

My birthday came and went. I had told my parents that I didn't want any presents, which they of course ignored. Renée sent me a new camera with instructions to take pictures of all my friends and send to her, so she could at least pretend to be a part of my everyday life. From Charlie, I got a gift certificate to my favorite bookstore in Port Angeles, which I was actually very happy for.

And since it was a Saturday, school wasn't a problem – not that anyone except for Angela knew that it was my birthday anyway. She insisted on treating me to coffee and a movie in Port Angeles, and I only grumbled a little before agreeing to go. I was happy to get out of the house, to be able to not have to think about not thinking for a while.

I was surprised at how draining it was to _not_ think about a certain thing... or, more specifically, person. When I got home after working at Newton's after school, I was completely exhausted. Every night after finishing my home work, I crashed into bed, and I was sure I would be too tired to dream. And every night I was wrong.

The nightmare didn't change, but I still woke up screaming from it. Some nights I managed to go back to sleep, but most of the time I just lay curled up under the covers until my alarm went off, watching as the sky outside my window slowly became brighter with the rising sun.

I got down a routine of not thinking about anything upsetting pretty quickly. I knew that I was becoming number by the day, but I didn't really mind. I was never really happy, but I wasn't really sad either, which seemed like a good bargain to me. The only time I actually felt anything at all was when the nightmare woke me in the dead of night.

I didn't realize that September had been replaced by October until I got to Newton's one Tuesday after school. Mike and his mom looked up as I came into the store, surprised expressions on both their faces.

"Bella, what are you doing here? It's Tuesday." Mike frowned at me.

"I know." So?

"You're working Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week." Mrs. Newton said, the frown on her face matching that on her son's.

"Oh." I realized what she was getting at. "It's October?" When had that happened?

"October seventh, dear." She looked a little concerned.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. I must have gotten the dates a little mixed up." I tried, unsuccessfully, to figure out what had happened to the rest of September.

"Of course, dear." Mrs. Newton nodded in an understanding way. "But you can go on home, and I'll see you tomorrow, OK?"

"OK." I left the store and drove home, wondering what I could do to make the afternoon go by faster. Since I hadn't realized it was October, I hadn't planned for my new "freedom", and spending the rest of the afternoon in an empty house with nothing to do was not a tempting idea. I needed something to occupy me.

I ended up doing the laundry that was in the laundry basket, and then the beddings from mine and Charlie's beds. Then I washed the truck and reorganized the fridge and pantry. By the time I had finished this, it was finally time to start dinner.

I made meatloaf, but must have gotten something wrong, because it tasted funny. Charlie assured me that it was really good, but I was sure that he only said that so he wouldn't upset me. I ended up eating the food anyway, since I was starving.

When we had finished dinner, I went upstairs to do my homework. It was barely eight when I was done, but I still went straight to bed. I was dreading the nightmare, but could barely keep my eyes open.

The dream was different this time. We weren't in my kitchen anymore, but outside the big, white house by the river. He turned his back on me and walked in through the front door, but when I followed a moment later, he was nowhere to be seen. I searched the entire house, but it was completely empty, deserted. When I came back to the first floor, I saw that his piano had been left behind, and when I looked at it, the sound of the song he had composed for me flowed through the air. That's when I woke up, tears streaming down my face.

xxxxx

"Crap." I heard Angela's voice through the door of the cubicle in the girls' bathroom. We were on our way to the last period of the day.

"What's wrong?"

"Girly week." I heard her rummage through her bag for a moment. "And of course, I don't have any tampons. Great. Just great!"

"Hang on, I've got some." I found a small box, still wrapped in plastic, in my bag and held it under the door.

"Thanks." She took the box, and a moment later she tossed it over the door. It fell to the floor, and when I picked it up, I suddenly froze.

"Angela? What day is it today?" My mind was desperately trying to process what had just occurred to me.

"Wednesday."

"I know that, I meant what date is it?" I was pretty sure I knew, but I still had to ask.

"October eighth. Why?"

I found my calendar in my bag and quickly flipped back through the pages.

"Nothing, I just remembered that I have to get something for my mom, it's her birthday next week." I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded.

"Oh, OK."

There it was. A tiny, red X. August fourth. I flipped forward to September first, where there should have been another X. Only there wasn't. I checked a couple of days before and after that date, but there was still nothing.

I absentmindedly noted that Angela came out from the cubicle and washed her hands.

"Bella?" Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "You ready to go?" I shoved the calendar back into my bag.

"Sure."

Had I just forgotten to mark the day in the calendar? Normally, I wouldn't have thought that was possible, but I hadn't exactly been on top back then. And the alternative was just… impossible to think about.

I tried to remember. First day of school. Angela had met me in the parking lot. Everyone staring. Lunch with Mike and the others. Classes all day. Nowhere in any of those memories did I find a trip to the bathroom to change a tampon.

Something else occurred to me. Even if I had just forgotten to mark the day, I should have gotten a visit from my little "friend" again the previous Monday. And I was _never_ late.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

"Angela." I grabbed her by the arm just as she was about to enter the English classroom. "I'm really not feeling very well."

"You don't look so good." She looked at me with concern evident in her eyes.

"Could you tell Mr. Mason that I went home?"

"Of course. Do you need me to drive you? You look like you could pass out any minute, maybe you should go to the nurse? Come on, I'll go with you."

"No, that's OK. I think I can make it home."

"OK, if you're sure." She looked skeptical. "Do you want me to ask Mike to take your shift at Newton's?"

I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to work that afternoon.

"Would you do that?"

"Of course." She assured me. "You go home and feel better. I'll call you later."

In a daze, I walked to the truck. There was a pharmacy in Forks, but there was no way I could go there. Everyone would know within the hour. I would have to drive to Port Angeles.

The whole drive there, I tried to convince myself that I was overreacting. I had just forgotten to mark the date down in the calendar last month, and so what if I had never been late before? There was a first time for everything, right?

And we had always been careful, always used protection. _But condoms are not a hundred per cent safe_ a little voice inside my head reminded me. I knew that, of course. At least on a strictly logical level. But I had never actually considered the fact that one of the times that they weren't would ever happen to me, or what the consequence would be...

I quickly found the right aisle in the pharmacy and picked a box at random. When I had paid, I asked if the store had a customer bathroom, to which the clerk shook his head. I went into the first coffee shop I passed on my way back to the car, bought a coffee to go and hurried into the bathroom.

I skimmed through the instructions, peed on the stick and waited. Two minutes. Was that some kind of torture the people who made the tests had come up with?

I ended up sitting on the toilet for almost five minutes before I dared to look at the test. When I finally did, there was a clearly visible plus sign in the little window.

Positive.

My hand, as if it had a will of its own, came up to rest on my stomach. It didn't feel any different.

It did say that the test was only 99% sure. But I knew.

I was pregnant.

xxxxx

The drive back to Forks was a big blur, and I was surprised when I found myself on the street outside my house. It was only a little after five, so Charlie wasn't home yet, which was good. I would need some time to pull myself together before facing him.

When I unlocked the door, I heard the phone ring, and I hurried into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?"

"_Bella? There you are, I've called you three times."_ Angela's worried voice came over the line.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep as soon as I got home." I lied quickly.

"_You must be coming down with that flu that's __been going around."_

"Maybe." Or, then again, maybe not.

"_OK. I just wanted to make sure you got home OK. Do you think you're coming to school tomorrow?"_

"I think so." If Charlie didn't kill me first. Which was a definite possibility.

"_OK, I'll see you then."_

I hung up the phone and sat down at the kitchen table, unable to do anything but stare out the window, seeing nothing.

I was still in the same position when Charlie got home almost two hours later.

"Bella?" He called as he opened the front door. I heard him walk through the hallway. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?"

He turned on the lights and came into the kitchen. I hadn't even realized that the sun had set and it was pitch black outside.

"Bella?" I looked up at him. He had a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant."

I leaned my arms against the table, buried my face in them and waited for the explosion

I expected him to yell at me. I expected him to call me irresponsible and ask me what the hell I had been thinking. I expected him to be furious.

I did not expect what actually happened.

"Oh honey." I heard him pull out a chair, and he sat down next to me, awkwardly wrapping an arm around me. I leaned my head against his shoulder and let the tears flow freely down my face. "We'll figure it out. Everything will be OK, you'll see."

I desperately wanted to believe him.

I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually, I ran out of tears. Wiping my wet cheeks, I sat up straight and looked over at him.

"Have you seen a doctor?" He asked in a concerned tone. I shook my head.

"I just took one of those home-test things."

"OK, then the first thing we need to do is to get you to a doctor." He went over to the phone and dialed a number. "Hello… I would like to make an appointment for my daughter with Doctor Jamieson… tomorrow, if possible… yes, that will be fine. Thank you."

I was grateful that he took the initiative, because at the moment I didn't have enough energy to even get up from the chair I was sitting in. He hung up the phone and came back to the table.

"Tomorrow at four thirty. You're not working, are you?"

I shook my head.

"I was supposed to work today, but Angela said that she'd ask Mike to take my shift." Mrs. Newton hadn't called, but I should probable make sure that everything had been fine at the store. "I should call Newton's." I used my hands to push myself up from the table.

"It's closed, Bells." He pointed out. "And I'm sure they got on fine without you. Why don't you go and lie down on the couch for a little while? You look like you can barely stand."

I felt like I could barely stand.

xxxxx

Angela met me in the parking lot when I got to school the next morning. She gave me a concerned look when I slammed the car door shut behind me.

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" She asked doubtfully. "Maybe you should have stayed home today…"

"I'm OK, just didn't get a lot of sleep." I interrupted. It was true. I hadn't fallen asleep until well after two in the morning, and even then, my mind had been too busy to relax. I didn't remember the dreams, but woke up even more tired than I had been when I had gone to bed.

"OK." She sounded skeptical. "Just give me a heads up if you plan on passing out or something."

"I'll do that." I couldn't even manage to sound sarcastic.

Angela hovered around me all day, probably waiting for me to faint or something. I realized just how bad I looked when coach Clapp gave me the once-over and sent me to sit down on the bleachers while the others played badminton.

I analyzed every little thing I felt that day, trying to make something fit with what little I knew about pregnancies.

Morning sickness, wasn't that supposed to be one of the signs? But I hadn't been getting sick, in the mornings or at any other time.

Tiredness. Got that one alright. I was so exhausted these days, I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow. I had blamed the nightmares that didn't let me get a good night's rest, and the fact that school was getting more demanding along with working at Newton's.

Dizziness. No more than usual. Due to my blood pressure being a little low, I often got dizzy spells when I stood up too quickly.

And that was pretty much all I knew.

"Bella? You OK?" I snapped out of my thoughts and found Angela looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. "Aren't you eating anything?"

I looked around and realized that we were in the cafeteria. I must have spaced out as we walked from class. I felt my stomach growl, and quickly grabbed two slices of pizza and an apple.

We sat down at Mike's table as usual, and I gulped down the pizza before taking a bite of the apple.

"Hungry?" I looked up to find Mike observing me. I swallowed.

"Yeah." Always starving, could that be another indication? I remembered the expression "eating for two".

"Are you feeling better today at least? You still look really pale." He frowned at me.

"I'm fine, just a little tired. You won't have to take my shift tomorrow, if you're worried about that."

"No, that's not why I asked." He quickly assured me. "I just wanted to make sure you were OK."

OK was questionable…

"I'm fine, really." I tried to pull off a smile, and Mike seemed convinced, because he turned back to Eric, who he had been talking to about some game or other.

"Do you want to head over to the coffee shop after school?" Angela asked as we walked to Social Studies after lunch. We were in all the same classes this year, except for Chemistry and Math.

"I can't, I've got to go to Thriftway and do the shopping for the week before heading home." I held my breath as I waited to see if she would believe my lie.

"Oh, OK." She looked a little disappointed, but didn't push.

"We could do something Saturday, if you don't have plans with Ben." I suggested.

"Not until in the evening." She replied. "Do you want to go down to Port Angeles? I really need new sneakers."

"Sure."

xxxxx

I drove straight to the hospital after school; Charlie was meeting me there. I had told him that he didn't need to go with me, but he had insisted, and I was secretly glad that he would be there.

He guided me through the hospital and gently pushed me down on a plastic chair in the doctor's waiting room. Within a few minutes, a woman who was sitting behind a desk called my name. We followed her through a door and into an examination room, where she told me to change into a paper gown while we waited for the doctor.

I pulled the curtain between me and Charlie as I changed, and then pulled my sweater back on on top of the gown, since the room was pretty cold. The doctor came through the door just when I pulled the curtain back.

"Hello, Isabella, I'm Doctor Jamieson." She extended her hand to me, and I took it.

"Bella." I automatically corrected.

"OK, Bella then." She turned to Charlie. "Chief."

"Doctor Jamieson." They shook hands as well.

"What can I help you with?" She sat down behind the desk, and I took a seat in the chair next to Charlie.

"I think…" I bit my lip. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that I'm… pregnant."

"OK, I see. Did you take a home test?" I nodded. "And when was the first day of your last period?"

"August fourth." She raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't say anything.

"OK, first I need you to step on the scale for me, and then I am going to check your blood pressure and take a blood sample to run some tests, just to make sure."

I got on the scale and she fiddled a little with the weights.

"112, that's sounds about right." She noted it on a piece of paper. "Could you sit down on the cot, and we can get the blood work."

I did as she said, and she put a gauge on my arm to check my blood pressure.

"A little low, but that's normal."

She jotted it down on the paper before walking around the desk and opening a drawer where I spotted some syringes. I immediately felt faint and closed my eyes. I had always had a problem with blood.

I opened my eyes, but kept them fixed on the wall opposite to where the doctor was standing. Charlie came to stand beside me – he knew about my reaction to blood.

"Which arm would you prefer?" Doctor Jamieson asked.

"It doesn't matter." I said weakly, squeezing my eyes shut as I caught a glimpse of the syringe in her hand.

She wiped the crook of my right arm with something cold, and I bit my lip, waiting for the sting. I felt Charlie take my left hand in both of his, and relaxed a little.

It actually didn't hurt as bad as I feared it would. Almost as soon as I felt the stinging, it was gone.

"All done." The doctor said, pressing a cotton wad against the spot and bending my arm. I ventured a peek, and found that she had turned her back on me, probably having realized my revulsion to blood.

She pushed a button on the intercom, and the same nurse that had shown us to the room earlier came through the door. Doctor Jamieson gave the young woman the blood sample, and she left again.

"I'm just going to ask you a few questions before I do the physical exam." The doctor pulled up her chair to the side of the cot. "Have you been experiencing any morning sickness?"

"No." I shook my head. "Is that normal?"

"Not everyone gets morning sickness, it's perfectly fine. Any fatigue or light headedness?"

"I have been really tired." I confirmed. "And a little dizzy, I guess, but not more than usual."

"Have you been craving anything unusual, or has anything tasted or smelled different than normal?"

The meatloaf…

"No cravings, but some things taste a little funny."

"Any mood swings, sudden fits of crying?" I shook my head. "OK, all those things are perfectly normal. Now, if you could just move over here, I would like to do a physical examination."

"I'll wait outside." Charlie squeezed my hand and left the room.

I climbed into the chair and managed to get my feet into the stirrups without too much problem.

"This is going to be a little uncomfortable." Doctor Jamieson apologized in advance. I winced as she snapped on a rubber glove and braced myself.

It was very uncomfortable, but it was over in a few minutes.

"OK, you can get dressed again. I'll go get your father in the meantime."

She left me alone, and I quickly put my clothes back on. Charlie and the doctor came back into the room, and we all reclaimed our previous seats.

"Well, I can, without a doubt, say that you are in fact pregnant. I don't need the results of the blood test to tell you that. Everything seems to be in order too, and according to schedule."

I had already known, really, but actually hearing the words from her was still a shock.

"By what you've told me about your last period, I would put you at about nine weeks." She opened one of the drawers in the desk and pulled out a couple of folders, handing them to me. "I want you to take these home and look through them, make sure you understand your options."

Options?

I looked at the top folder in my hand, and the black letters glared back at me.

Abortion.

"No." I started to shake my head vigorously. "No."

"You don't need to make any decisions right now, take some time to think about it and then…"

"She said no." Charlie interrupted her. He took the offensive folder from my hands and dropped it onto the desk.

"OK." She nodded. "There is also adoption. There are many couples out there who can't have children of their own and that would love to give your baby a very good home."

My baby. Mine and Edward's baby.

I looked at the second folder.

Benefits of adoption. There was a smiling couple on the cover.

My head started moving almost on its own accord, and I let the second folder follow the first one onto the desk.

"Maybe you could tell us what to think about?" Charlie suggested. "It has been a while since the last time I did this, and I'm sure there are a lot of things I've forgotten. We need to make an appointment for another check-up, right?"

"Yes, I'll have Sarah schedule you for a three month check-up and an ultrasound in about a month. She'll give you the date and time when you leave." She pulled more folders from the desk drawer, handing them to Charlie this time. "Here are some things that you need to think about." She turned to me. "Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Good. And obviously, no alcohol. I'm going to give you a prescription for pre-natal vitamins that you need to take daily." She scribbled something down on a prescription pad and gave the piece of paper to Charlie. "Would you like to know the preliminary due date?" I nodded. "Well, taking into account the first day of your last period, I would put conception sometime between August thirteenth and nineteenth, and your due date at around May eleventh next year. Give or take about two weeks, of course."

I nodded and, for some reason, tried to figure out what day of the week May eleventh would be.

"Thank you, doctor." Charlie stood and shook her hand, and I copied him.

"Come on, Bells." He put an arm around my shoulders and led me from the room.

We stopped at the front desk, where the nurse called Sarah was sitting.

"We need a urine sample, if you don't mind." She handed me a plastic cup. "I'll check Doctor Jamieson's calendar to see when you can come back while you do that, OK?"

I nodded and headed to the bathroom. It wasn't easy to actually hit the cup, but I managed. When I got out of the bathroom, I gave the cup back to the nurse.

"Thank you. Now, would Tuesday November fourth work for you? Same time?"

I calculated in my head. It was four weeks from now, so I wouldn't be working Tuesday that week.

"Yeah, it's OK."

"OK, then, have a nice day." She smiled as we walked away.

We drove home under complete silence, stopping at the pharmacy to pick up the prescription. I was starting to wonder if a delayed fit of rage was coming.

But when we got home, Charlie just handed me the cordless phone.

"I'll be in the living room if you need me." He was giving me privacy, but still staying close by.

I sat down at the table and stared at the phone for a few minutes before dialing the familiar number I hadn't used in over a month. When I hit the final digit, I held my breath and waited for him to pick up.

Instead, there was a female voice informing me that the number had been disconnected. It was such an anti-climax that I just sat there for a moment. Then I dialed Alice's number instead, only to get the same result.

That's when I realized that I had no idea where they had gone. He hadn't told me. I thought about calling information, but realized that they wouldn't be able to help me without a city, or at least an area.

I felt completely dispirited before I remembered that Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were still in Seattle. I quickly called information, asking for the number to Rosalie Hale in the Seattle area.

"I'm sorry, we don't have any listing under that name." My hope fell a little again.

"How about Jasper Hale?"

"Nothing, I'm afraid."

Though I wasn't expecting a different response, I continued.

"Emmett Cullen?"

"I'm sorry."

"Do you have a number for anyone by the name Cullen in Washington?" Not that I thought they had stayed in the state.

"I can't search the entire state, I'm sorry." Of course not.

"Seattle then."

"No, nothing."

I hung up, dropping the phone onto the table with a thump. I had no idea what to do next.

Charlie must have heard, because he came into the kitchen.

"You couldn't get a hold of him?"

"His phone's been disconnected. Alice's too."

"Call information."

"I don't know where they went." My voice was barely audible.

"What do you mean you don't know where they went?"

"I mean that he didn't tell me where they were moving to. Or maybe I didn't let him, I don't know." I buried my face in my hands. Why had both his and Alice's phones been disconnected? Was he afraid that I would try to convince him to come back, to give us a second chance? Did he just not want me to know where he was? I tried to come up with another reason, one that didn't involve him cutting all possible ties between us, but I couldn't.

"I'll call the hospital; they should know where Doctor Cullen transferred to." Charlie reached for the phone, but I grabbed it first.

"No, dad. They're probably not at liberty to tell us anyway, and if he went to this much trouble to make sure I couldn't find him, then maybe I don't want to."

"He should know." Charlie objected.

"He should." I agreed. "But he's not here _to_ know, is he?" Charlie was quiet for a moment.

"Well, you're better off without him, anyway. Both of you."

"Thanks dad." I offered him a weak smile.

"Do you want me to call your mother?"

Crap. I hadn't even thought about Renée.

"No, I should be the one to tell her." I sighed. I did not want to have that conversation.

"OK." He didn't leave the kitchen this time, but lingered in the doorway.

I pressed speed dial two and waited as the phone rang across the country.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Phil, it's Bella. Is my mom there?"

"_Sure thing, hang on just a minute."_ I heard him call her, and felt my heart rate pick up notably as I waited for her to come to the phone.

"_Hi sweetie. How are you?" _Renée's voice came over the line.

The jury was still out on that one.

"I'm OK. I'm actually calling because I need to talk to you about something." Might as well cut straight to the chase.

"_You can't just call to talk to your poor old mom? OK, shoot."_

I took a deep breath and unsuccessfully tried to steady my racing heart. Deciding a direct approach was my best option, I jumped right in.

"I'm pregnant." She was quiet for so long I started to wonder if she had hung up. "Mom?"

"_You a__re kidding, right?"_ I didn't reply. _"Please tell me that you're kidding."_

"Mom…"

"_Because the alternative is not an option. Have I taught you nothing, Bella? How could you be so irresponsible?"_

"Mom, please…"

"_It's fine, it's OK. You can still get an abortion, right? It's not too late for that?"_

"Mom, I'm not…"

"_No, Bella, listen to me. I am not going to let you ruin your entire life, do you hear me? I will not just stand by and watch while you…"_

Charlie grabbed the phone then, seeing the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"Renée… no, you cannot talk to her… because you upset her… no, of course I'm not thrilled about the situation, but I'm sure as hell not going to yell at her, she's got enough on her plate as it is… well, then I guess it's a good thing that she's not living with you anymore, isn't it… I'll take care of her, of both of them… I'm sorry you feel that way."

He hung up. The phone rang only a few seconds later, but he just checked the display and then ignored it.

"She'll come around." He tried to assure me, patting my hand.

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Just give her some time. It was a shock for her."

"I thought you would be the one to yell." I mumbled, and he chuckled.

"Believe me, I considered it. But what would have been the point, really? What's done is done. All we can do now is accept reality and do our best to deal with it." He squeezed my shoulder. "Head upstairs and rest for a while, I'll order dinner. Anything special you want?"

"Mexican?"

"Mexican it is."

**AN: OK, I don't actually have any kids myself, so everything pregnancy****-related in this chapter and in the ones to come is strictly research-based. I hope I haven't gotten anything completely off, but if I have, please bare with me!**


	14. 14 Heartbeats

**AN: Another chapter for you guys! I hope you like it, and don't hesitate to let me know what you think…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

**14 – ****Heartbeats**

I woke up the next morning feeling thoroughly rested for the first time in several weeks. I was surprised that the nightmares had left me alone, considering my state of mind when I had gone to bed. I had expected my subconscious to deal with my inner turmoil while I slept, but my dreams had been unusually peaceful and non-meaningful. Normal. Just flashes of memories, colors, places, that held no threat.

I walked into the kitchen to find that Charlie had made breakfast. Granted, it was only a ham sandwich, a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice, but he had tried. I felt tears rise in my eyes. Oh, goody, the mood swings that Doctor Jamieson had mentioned had decided to make an appearance.

"Morning Bells." Charlie greeted from where he was sitting at the table, engrossed in the paper.

"Morning." I mumbled back, not wanting to embarrass him with my over expressive feelings, and sat down opposite him at the table. I swallowed a spoonful of cereal, and frowned. "What's this?"

"Whole wheat cereal." He replied. "It's important with a balanced diet. I stopped by the store and got some stuff when I picked up the food last night."

"Oh." I took another mouthful. It actually wasn't that bad; I had just been expecting the cereal I used to eat. "It's pretty good."

"Don't forget your vitamins." He indicated the medicine bottle next to my glass with his chin.

I never knew Charlie could be so overprotective. It was kind of nice.

"Thanks, dad." I said as he got up from the table.

"Don't mention it, Bells." He grumbled before leaving the kitchen. "See you tonight."

I finished my breakfast and was about to leave the kitchen when I spotted a paper bag on the counter, a green Post It attached to it.

_Thought you might need a snack for work_ was scribbled on the piece of paper in Charlie's handwriting. I opened the bag to find a banana and a bottle of orange juice. For the second time that morning, I could feel tears in my eyes. If this was going to continue, the next seven months would be very long.

When I got to school, Angela was, once again, waiting for me in the parking lot.

"Hey." The concerned look disappeared from her face and she smiled when I got out of the truck, and from that I came to the conclusion that I didn't look half-dead anymore. Progress.

"Hi." I slammed the car door shut behind me, and we headed towards the school.

"We still on for tomorrow?" Angela wondered when we entered the Spanish classroom, and I nodded.

"Sure. I could use a day of shopping."

Mrs. Goff was already behind her desk, so we hurried to our seats at the back of the room.

At lunch, I remembered what Charlie had said about a balanced diet, so I picked out an apple and a banana, as well as a cheese sandwich and yoghurt. I had a feeling pizza wasn't on the approved eating list. I would have to look at those brochures the doctor had given me when I got home after work.

Mrs. Newton was happy to see me when I got to the store after school.

"Oh, hello dear. I wasn't sure you were going to make it today."

"I feel much better, Mrs. Newton." I was surprised that I didn't have to lie when I said it. I did feel better, both physically and mentally – probably better than I had since the summer. I still had a lot to figure out, but I didn't feel the same dread that had almost overpowered me in the bathroom in Port Angeles when I had seen the little plus sign. And the hole inside seemed to have shrunk, if only a little.

"I'm glad to hear that, dear. Mike and I were both so worried about you."

I realized that I could do this. I had my friends, and Charlie. Renée was an issue, but like Charlie said, she would come around. The sudden burst of optimism surprised me, but I welcomed it.

xxxxx

The following morning was bright, if not warm. It was almost the middle of October, after all – you could only expect so much of the weather in Forks. Angela was driving this time, and she picked me up a little after nine.

I had decided that, though I wasn't ready to let everyone know about the baby, I wanted to tell Angela. I wasn't sure exactly how to do that, but had decided to go with a direct approach again, despite the lack of success it had had with Renée.

"Morning." I greeted as I got into the car.

"Morning." She returned my smile. "Ready for some serious shopping?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

I thought it was best not to spring my news on Angela when she was driving, since I wanted to avoid crashing into a tree, so I decided to wait until we were in Port Angeles.

We spent the morning aimlessly wandering from store to store, and then ended up at Café Garden for lunch. When the waitress had taken our orders, I decided that it was time.

"Listen, Ang, I wanted to talk to you about the other day." She waited as I tried to find the right words. "I wasn't really feeling bad, not physically at least. I just… when I gave you the tampons, I realized that I hadn't used them in a while and I panicked a little."

"You mean you're…"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh Bella." She squeezed my hand across the table. "Are you OK? I know that's a really stupid question, but are you?"

"I am." I assured her. "It was a bit of a shock at first, of course, but I'm getting used to it. I was completely terrified when I took that test, but now…"

"You've decided to keep it then?"

I nodded.

"I could never…" I shuddered at the thought of the brochure Doctor Jamieson had wanted me to look at.

"Of course not! I wasn't suggesting that." Angela looked appalled.

"The doctor did."

"No!"

"Yeah. She gave me these brochures, telling me to think about my "options"." I air quoted the last word.

"I hope you told her to stuff it." I was surprised at Angela's choice of words.

"Charlie did, actually. Though perhaps not in so many words." I smiled a little at the memory.

"How did he take it?"

"A lot better than I had expected actually." I winced. "Renée on the other hand… let's just say that she wasn't exactly pleased."

"She was probably just shocked." Angela suggested.

"That's what Charlie said too." I nodded.

"I bet he's right." She hesitated for a moment, biting her lip and looking down at the table, and I realized what was coming. "Have you talked to him?" I shook my head.

"Can't." I ignored the sting of pain, tried to push it into a remote part of my brain so I could keep functioning. "His phone's been disconnected, and I don't know where they moved. It's like he didn't want me to be able to find him."

"Well, that's his loss." Angela concluded. "And don't worry, you don't need him. You've got your dad, and me. Everything will be fine." The waitress came over with our food then, and I waited a minute before speaking again.

"Thanks, Ang." I have her a genuine smile. "For not freaking out."

"Of course not!" She huffed, and then a smile spread on her face. "But, hey… can I be a little excited?"

"Of course." I laughed when she jumped out of her seat and gave me a bear hug before sitting back down.

"Are you?" She wondered.

I surveyed my own state of mind for a moment.

"I think I'm getting there." The numbness of the shock was still partly clouding all other feelings, but I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Good. I know that the whole teenage-mom, high-school-in-the-way issue might put a damper on the situation, but it's still exciting."

I groaned.

"I haven't even gotten to the whole school thing yet."

"Will you have time to do the finals?"

"I don't think so." Finals were at the end of May. "The doctor said May eleventh as a preliminary date."

"You'll just have to talk to the teachers and the principal, I'm sure they'll let you take the finals a little earlier, or during the summer."

Angela could be so practical.

"I guess I'll have to take a year off before applying to college, too." I realized.

"Yeah." She agreed. "It sucks that we won't be able to enroll together next fall. But you'll join us a year later. I'm sure Seattle U has a bunch of funds for single parents you can apply for too. Help out with tuition and living expenses."

"You really think of everything." I was amazed. "I only just thought of the college thing at all when you mentioned school, and you're already several steps ahead of me."

"Well, I have the benefit of looking at the situation from an outsider's perspective." She replied. "I bet you're still a little rumbled by everything that's happened in the last few days."

She was definitely right about that.

We covered a few more stores after leaving the restaurant, and eventually ended up in Necessities & Temptations.

"Do you want to look at baby stuff?" Angela wondered, an excited smile on her face, but I shook my head.

"It's still too early." I had read through the information the doctor had given me the previous night, and also googled a little. The risk of miscarriage was the highest in the first trimester, and I didn't want to jinx anything.

"OK. How far along are you?"

"The doctor said about nine weeks, so I guess almost ten by now."

"Wow." She gave me an appraising look. "You can't tell."

"Thank God!" I pressed my hand to my still flat stomach. "I hope to keep it that way for as long as possible. Can you imagine the way people will react? The looks? I'll be the social outcast of Forks High."

"I definitely don't envy you that. It'll probably be even worse than if it had been someone else, too. Daughter of the Chief and all."

"Thank you. Now I feel much better." I scowled at her.

"I'm sorry." She wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I won't tell anyone, you know that right? Not even Ben."

"Thanks." I hugged her back. "I am completely set on pushing that humiliating experience as far into the future as possible."

"Completely understandable."

"But you can tell Ben, I know he won't say anything if you ask him not to." I didn't like to think that Angela would have to lie to or keep secrets from her boyfriend because of me.

We left Port Angeles fifteen minutes later and Angela dropped me off at home at four. I knew Charlie was fishing with Billy, so I expected the house to be empty. It wasn't.

"Bella?" Renée's voice greeted me as I opened the front door.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I wondered as she came into the hallway from the kitchen.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry!" She pulled me into a tight embrace. "I know I overreacted over the phone the other day, and I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean a word I said."

"It's OK, mom." I tried to tell her, but she was hugging me so tightly that my words came out as a mumble against her shoulder.

"No, it's not. Unforgivable is what it is." She hugged me even tighter. "Did I mention I'm sorry?"

"Does Charlie know you're here?" I doubted it, since I didn't think he'd like the idea of leaving me alone with her after the way things had ended the other day.

"No. He said that I had to wait a couple of days to talk to you, so we could both calm down a little, but I couldn't, so I took the first flight out this morning. And the key's still in the same place as ever, so I let myself in to wait for you."

She still wouldn't let me go, so I carefully slipped out of her arms.

"Can you forgive me?" She asked, a pleading look on her face.

"Of course, mom. I get that it must have been a shock for you." I walked past her into the living room and she followed. We both sat down on the couch, and she looked at me intently.

"How are you dealing with this? And don't try to pull some "I'm fine" crap on me, I know you too well."

"I am, though. Or at least getting there." Angela's enthusiasm had lightened my mood even more.

She looked at me through narrowed eyes for a moment before apparently deciding to trust me.

"OK, tell me everything. What did the doctor say? Everything's OK, right?"

"Everything's fine. I'm going back on November fourth for another check-up and an ultrasound."

"OK." She nodded. "And what about Edward? Have you talked to him? Is he going to step up?"

I flinched at the mention of his name. Both Charlie and my friends had been very careful not to refer to him by name, and the way Renée used it so freely unnerved me.

"I haven't been able to reach him." I said quietly, my eyes intently on my hands in my lap. "His phone's been disconnected, and I don't know where they went when they left Forks."

"Oh, honey." She pulled me into another hug and I leaned my head against her shoulder, allowing myself to be comforted for just a moment.

"It's OK, mom, really." I assured her. "I mean, it sucks, but I have Charlie and Angela. I'll be OK."

"Don't forget your old mom, will you? I know I reacted badly at first, but I am not going to let you fend for yourself, you hear me?" She gave me her determined look, and thought I knew from experience that there was no point in arguing with her when she had that look, I felt obliged to point out the obvious.

"Mom, you're on the other side of the country."

"Insignificant." She brushed it off with a wave of her hand. "I'll be here so much I'll get my own personal lounge at Fairchild."

I laughed at her joke, and she looked pleased.

"So, any unpleasant surprises so far? Morning sickness?"

"Actually, no." I frowned a little. "Though that probably would have made me figure it out a lot sooner."

"You're lucky. I was sick as a dog all day for the first three months with you." She grimaced at the memory. "Nothing else bothering you so far?"

"I'm tired all the time. And I think the mood swings might have started; Charlie made me breakfast yesterday morning, and it almost made me cry."

"That sounds about right." She giggled. "It'll be fun to see how he deals with it this time around. Charlie has never been good at handling crying women."

As if he had heard us, Charlie opened the front door at that exact moment.

"Bells?"

"Living room." I called back. "We've got a house guest."

He came into the living room and his eyes widened as he spotted Renée on the couch with me.

"Charlie." She greeted him.

"Renée. Wasn't expecting to see you." His voice was a little harsh.

"I'm sorry to intrude like this, but I just had to talk to Bella in person. I didn't think you'd mind." She gave him that patented smile of hers that turned most men into putty in her hands. It still worked on him.

"Oh, well… I guess not… I mean, of course." He mumbled before turning his back on us and heading into the kitchen.

"When are you going back?" I asked when we had stopped giggling at Charlie's retreating form.

"I haven't booked my flight yet, but I do have to work on Monday." She sounded regretful.

"Of course you do. You can't just put your life on hold because I messed up."

"Bella. I didn't mean what I said the other day, about ruining your life." She looked me intently in the eyes as she spoke. "You have not messed anything up, you hear me? Sure, this isn't the way I hoped your life would turn out, but I know you, and you can do this. You got that?"

I only nodded, overwhelmed by the intensity in her words.

"Thanks mom." I hugged her tightly, and she stroked my hair.

"Of course, baby."

xxxxx

Renée got a flight out of Port Angeles at seven the next evening, and we spent the day together in Forks. She hadn't really been there since she left almost seventeen years earlier, except to drop me off when I spent the summer with Charlie, but not much had changed.

"It seems even smaller, somehow." She commented as we took a walk in Tillicum Park in the afternoon. "Oh, I hated this town with every fiber of my being."

"I know the feeling."

"You know you can come to Jacksonville and stay with me and Phil. It might be a little easier for you, not being in this small town with all the gossip and staring."

I had actually considered the thought briefly the previous night, as I listened to Renée's snores from the couch in the living room. I had a pretty good idea of how the kids at school – and everyone else – would react when my secret finally got out, and it was not a tempting thought to voluntarily put myself through that. And still…

"I know. But Forks is still my home, just like I told you over the summer. That hasn't changed, even if almost everything else has."

"Think about what you're in for in a couple of months, honey. Wouldn't it be easier if you didn't have to worry about people talking behind your back, staring at you wherever you go?"

"But I don't know anyone there." I countered. "I know that you and Phil would love it, but you've got your jobs and your lives. I would be completely alone. At least here I have Angela, and maybe a few other friends." I wasn't sure about the last part yet; it remained to be seen when I eventually went public.

"Angela is a good friend?"

"The best. She didn't even freak out when I told her."

"She must be a true friend, then."

"She is."

I drove Renée to the airport later that afternoon, and we said a tearful goodbye before she went through security. When I got home, Charlie had made dinner – grilled chicken with potato wedges.

"Dad, I can still cook. I'm not disabled." I pointed out.

"I just thought that maybe we could alternate cooking duty. You shouldn't have to do everything." He shrugged. "I didn't grill the chicken myself."

"It smells delicious." I gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting down at the table, and saw him blush out of the corner of my eye.

We ate under a comfortable silence, and the food was really good. I decided that letting Charlie take on cooking duty every now and then might not be such a bad idea. Under strict supervision, of course. I didn't want him to burn down the house.

"Renée get on the plane OK?" He asked as we cleared the table.

"Yeah, the flight was on time. She said that she'd send a text when she landed, since it'll be after midnight."

"You two talked everything through?"

"We did." I nodded. I had a feeling that Charlie was still a little mad at Renée for reacting the way she had. "She felt really bad about what she said the other day, she was just shocked."

"Of course." He grumbled.

"Dad, I don't want you and mom to argue over this. If I can forgive her, you can too."

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded grudgingly.

"I guess you're right."

xxxxx

Over the next few weeks, I was very observant to the way my body was changing. I did a lot of reading online, and knew what to expect.

I had to go to the bathroom on every break, and sometimes during class too. My breasts became a little tender, and I thought I could see that they had gotten a little bigger, but it was difficult to tell. I still didn't have any morning sickness, but certain smells, such as fish and raw poultry, made me a little queasy. And my hormones were starting to go haywire.

I realized this when Angela and I had a movie night, and I just couldn't stop crying at the end of the movie.

"But it was a happy ending." Angela insisted, trying to soothe me.

"I know." I sobbed. "I don't even know why I'm crying!" Which only made me weep harder.

Angela sat patiently beside me, rubbing my back and waiting for the tears to subside. And they did, eventually.

"Sorry." I mumbled, wiping the last tear away.

"Cry all you want." She shrugged. "But it was a comedy." We had watched _Just married_.

"But it was just so sweet, how they got back together in the end." I could feel more tears rising in my eyes, and decided that a change of subject was vital. "Are you taking your brothers trick or treating on Friday?"

"I was hoping to get out of it, Ben wants to go to this haunted house party thing that Austin is having. His parents are out of town."

"Haunted house." I shivered. "Creepy."

"It'll probably be more along the lines of silly." Angela giggled. "You should come."

"I don't think so." The thought of voluntarily trying to be social to people from school an entire evening did not appeal to me. "I think I'll spend the night with my two favorite men."

"Ben and Jerry?"

"You know it."

"Is this a definite I-really-don't-want-to-go, or do you want me to talk you into it?"

"A definite no-go. But I'm sure you and Ben will have fun."

I had a good time with Ben and Jerry. I turned on _Dirty Dancing_, which I had seen more times than I could count, and paused it every time the doorbell rang to hand out candy to the kids. Charlie had escaped the trick or treating in town and was spending the evening with Billy in La Push.

November brought with it a definite drop in temperature, and I went down into the basement to get out my parka. When I was about to head up the stairs, I spotted a box in a corner. Realizing what it was, I went over and crouched beside it. I ran a finger over the slightly dusty cardboard, but didn't open it. I wasn't quite ready for that.

xxxxx

"Are you going straight over there?" Angela asked as we headed towards the parking lot after school on November fourth. I had my three-month check-up half an hour later.

"Yeah." I checked my watch. "Charlie's meeting me there in fifteen minutes."

"You promise to come straight over after you're done? I really want to see the picture."

Angela was more excited about the ultrasound than I was. I knew that there wouldn't be much to see – the baby was still only a couple of inches long.

"Yes, I promise." I assured her for the umpteenth time, unlocking the door to my car. "I've really got to go."

"See you later." She headed over to her car as I slid into the truck.

I started the engine and smiled as the sound of my newest musical purchase filled the cab.

_O__ne night to be confused  
One night to speed up truth  
We had a promise made  
Four hands and then away_

I had stumbled upon the song on the internet by mistake, and instantly fallen in love with it, but the album wasn't available in the US yet. I had been pleasantly surprised when I had come across it at Budget's in Port Angeles the previous Saturday. When I paid for it, the owner told me that his wife was Swedish and that she had insisted that he order a couple of copies of the CD, since it might not be released in the US for a while.

I pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of the hospital. Charlie's cruiser was already in the visitors' parking lot, and I pulled into the space next to it.

Since we were a bit early, we stopped by the cafeteria and got some coffee. Charlie had forced me to cut back my caffeine intake to one cup a day, and I hadn't had my daily fix yet.

We brought our coffees to Doctor Jamieson's waiting room, where the nurse behind the desk welcomed us with a smile.

"I can take you back to the examination room right away, if you'd like." She offered. "Doctor Jamieson only went to get something to eat, she'll be back in a moment."

"OK." We followed her into the room, and I took the paper gown she handed me without a word. I quickly finished my coffee, and when the doctor came into the room, I had already changed and was sitting next to Charlie by the desk.

"Bella, nice to see you again." She smiled at me and nodded at Charlie. "Chief. How has the last month been?"

"Good." I replied. "I have to go to the bathroom every five minutes, but I guess that's normal."

"It is, unfortunately." She laughed. "And I am afraid that it will only get worse as the baby grows and presses on your bladder. Would you step on the scale for me, please?"

"Great." I sighed. "Something else to look forward to." I did as she told me, and she adjusted the weights. I could see her frowning as she wrote the number down.

"You're eating properly?" She asked when I stepped off.

"I eat like a horse." I told her. "What's wrong?" Her concerned expression was starting to make me nervous.

"Nothing, don't worry. You've lost two pounds since last time, but that can happen this early on. You're taking your vitamins?" I nodded obediently. "Anything that's been bothering you, other than the frequent trips to the bathroom?"

"Not really." I shrugged. "I mean, the mood swings aren't exactly fun, but it's OK."

"Still no morning sickness?" She wrapped the blood pressure gauge around my arm as she spoke.

"Nope." Something to be grateful for.

"OK, your blood pressure's still a little low, but within normal range. Now, I'd like to do the physical examination before we get to the fun part." She looked at Charlie. "Would you like to stay, or wait outside?"

"I'll be outside." He left the room, and I once again climbed into the examination chair.

"Let's see how everything's getting along in there." She snapped the rubber glove in place, and I bit my lip.

The examination lasted a little longer than the first one had, but finally she was done.

"Everything seems just fine." She smiled at me.

I liked her a lot better now that she wasn't suggesting that I kill my baby.

"You can put your clothes back on for the ultrasound, if you want." I happily did. "I'll just get this thing started, if you want to go get your dad." She pulled a strange looking machine over to the cot and started fiddling with it.

"Dad?" I peeked out into the hallway and spotted him in a plastic chair a few feet away. "You can come back in now."

He walked into the room and closed the door behind us.

"Alright, if you'll just lie down here and pull your top up."

I followed the doctor's instructions and lay down on the cot, pulling my top up to expose my stomach.

"This will be a little cold." She warned me before spreading something sticky on my bare skin.

"A little cold?" A shiver ran through me. The gel-like substance was more than a little cold, it was freezing.

"Sorry." She smiled down at me apologetically. "Let's see, then. You can look at the monitor right there." She indicated the strange looking machine that was positioned next to my head, and I discovered a screen on it. When she started moving a probe of some kind over my stomach, an image appeared on the monitor.

"I can't see anything." I knew the baby would be tiny, but it should still be visible, right? There was only a white blur on the screen.

"Hang on." She moved the probe a little lower, and a fluttering sound suddenly filled the room. "There we are."

"What's that sound?" I had never heard anything like it before.

"That's your baby's heartbeat."

"Heartbeat?" I felt a lump in my throat.

"Yeah." She pointed to the screen that I had forgotten when I heard the sound. "This is the amniotic sac, and right there is your baby."

I looked at the screen in awe. It actually looked like a baby. I had expected something the size of a peanut, barely visible. But there it was. It had arms and legs. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, but didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Wow." Charlie said, leaning forward to get a better look.

"It's only a few inches right now, but it's got plenty of time to grow." The doctor gave me an understanding look. "I'll go print this, and give you a moment." She hit a button on the machine, and the image froze. She wiped the gel from my stomach before leaving the room.

I stared at the screen in silence for a moment.

"There's really a person in there." I mumbled after a while.

"There sure is." Charlie took my hand. "Did you doubt that?"

"No, I just… it didn't actually feel real before, I guess. Not like it does now, at least."

"I hope that's a good thing."

I nodded vigorously.

"Really good."

**AN: OK, the title**** of the chapter is obviously a reference to the ultrasound at the end, but also a tribute to the amazing Swedish artist José Gonzales and the song **_**Heartbeats**_**, which is what Bella is listening to in the car on the way to the hospital. I definitely recommend checking it out.**


	15. 15 Gossip and Butterflies

**AN: I was thrilled to see that you've helped me beat my favorite story-record the other day, and I****'d love for this story to beat my other stat-records as well, but I need your help with that! Here's the next chapter for you guys, I hope you like it! Let me know…**

**Disclaimer: Same old, same old… not mine.**

**15 – ****Gossip and Butterflies**

"Come on in." Angela opened the door before I had finished knocking, and ushered me inside the house quickly. "Let me see."

I gave her the picture from the ultrasound, and she studied it in silence for a moment, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Wow. It actually looks like a baby!" She exclaimed, giving the photo back to me.

"I know, it caught me completely by surprise. I thought it would look like a peanut or something." I carefully placed the picture between two pages of a book in my bag, not wanting to ruin it. Charlie had another copy, and we'd gotten one to send to Renée too – she was totally bummed out about missing the ultrasound.

"Let me look at you." Angela turned me sideways and looked at my stomach through narrowed eyes. "I think I can see a little bump."

"No way!" I knew that my jeans had gotten a little tighter, but there was definitely no bump. Not yet, anyway, I added silently. It was only a matter of time, after all.

"Just kidding." Angela giggled. "Don't be so touchy."

"It's not nice to have fun on the expense of someone who's pregnant. My hormones aren't cut out for being mocked." I grumbled, but Angela just laughed at me.

"I won't do it again." She promised, but I didn't believe her for a second.

"Sure you will." I replied, smiling so she didn't think I was too serious. "And I'll complain, and you'll promise never to do it again, and it'll be a vicious circle without end."

"You're probably right." Angela acknowledged. "Do you want to watch TV for a while? My parents won't be home for a couple of hours, some meeting at the twin's kindergarten."

"Sure, lead the way."

xxxxx

A week and a half after I'd had the ultrasound, I couldn't button my favorite jeans. I pulled them off and stood in front of the full body mirror, warily studying myself in profile. Yep, definitely a bump there. Not a very large one, but still plainly visible. I was sure it hadn't been there when I had gone to bed the night before. Luckily, it was Saturday, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I called Angela.

"_Hello?"_

"My jeans don't fit." The only response I got was laughter. "It's not funny!"

"_It __is a little funny."_ She insisted, but stopped laughing. _"Relax. I'll pick you up in half an hour; we'll go to Port Angeles and get you something that will fit."_

I tried on another pair of jeans while I waited for her to get to the house, but only got the same result. In the end, I pulled on a pair of decent looking sweat pants before heading out the door.

Angela gave me an amused look when I got into the car, and I scowled at her.

"I didn't say a word." She giggled as she headed down the street.

"Let's keep it that way." I snapped a little more harshly than I had intended. I knew Angela didn't deserve to be the object of my bad mood, but couldn't help it.

"My my, are we testy today." The hint of laughter in her voice assured me that she wasn't taking my attitude personally.

"Sorry." I apologized, making an effort to sound a little more pleasant. "I guess I'm just realizing that I won't be able to hide this much longer."

"Probably not." Angela agreed. "But I hear baggy shirts are making a comeback this year. You'll be totally fashionable."

"That's the silver lining I was looking for." I said sarcastically.

I already had a bunch of those in my closet, in anticipation of this moment.

"And look at it this way." Angela added. "At least now we can go baby shopping soon."

That was true. I had been wanting to start getting things right after the ultrasound, but I was terrified that we would run into someone from Forks in the store. It wasn't all that unlikely, after all. Renée had already sent a couple of things from Florida, though; a tiny, yellow onesie, some knitted booties that I suspected she had produced herself – and Renée definitely didn't knit – and a t-shirt with the text "If you think I'm cute, you should see my Grandma".

"Yeah." I admitted. "That's a plus."

"I actually might have jumped the gun a little." Angela glanced over at me. "I ordered something online."

"OK…" I gave her a suspicious look. "What is it?"

"Nuh-uh, I'm not telling you." She shook her head. "It's a surprise."

I didn't like surprises; something she knew very well.

"Can I at least get a hint?" I tried, well aware that I wasn't likely to succeed in my attempt.

"Nope." She smirked evilly. "But it's supposed to get here on Tuesday."

"That's three whole days from now." I complained.

"I'm not telling you." She was determined. "It's not even really for you, anyway."

I decided to surrender. When Angela had set her mind to something, I had learned that there was no use in arguing with her.

We went straight to Gottschalks when we got to Port Angeles. At least there, we could pretend to have accidentally wandered into the department with maternity clothes if we spotted someone we knew. Angela laughed when I pointed that out, until I reminded her that if we actually did meet someone from Forks, they could very well jump to the wrong conclusions. She was the one with a boyfriend, after all.

I bought a pair of regular jeans that I could actually button, and, upon Angela's insistence, a pair of maternity jeans with an elastic waist.

"You know we'd just have to come back in a couple of weeks otherwise." She wisely pointed out to me as I paid for the clothes, and I had to admit that she was probably right.

"You know, sometimes I actually think about accidentally letting something slip to Jessica or Lauren, so that I can just get this over with." I said as we headed back to the car. "It's getting old having to constantly think about what I say around people at school."

"I know, sweetie." Angela put an arm around my shoulder. "But pretty soon, you won't have a choice."

"Thank you for pointing that out." I said dryly, and then sighed. "Maybe I should have taken Renée up on the offer to live with her and Phil. At least in a city the size of Jacksonville, I would be yesterday's news after a week or two. Here, I'll still be the talk of the town years from now."

"Probably." She replied matter-of-factly. "But I'm glad you stayed."

"Me too."

xxxxx

I started wearing baggy t-shirts to school that Monday. I did get a few glances, but nobody said anything about my new "look".

On Tuesday, Angela asked if I wanted to come over after school – the surprise was supposed to arrive that day. Since I wasn't working, I happily agreed, anxious to see what it was that she'd gotten.

I followed her home after our last class of the day, and parked in the street.

"Mom?" Angela called as we walked through the front door. "Did I get any mail today?"

"In the kitchen." We took off our coats before following Mrs. Weber's voice. On the kitchen counter, there was a flat package addressed to Angela.

"OK, I have to put it together first, just stay down here until I call you." Angela grabbed the package and headed out of the kitchen with a big smile on her face. I shook my head at her enthusiasm, but couldn't help but smile too.

"A surprise, I take it?" Mrs. Weber smiled, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I grimaced. "She knows I hate them."

"Did you expect that to stop her?"

"Not anymore." I joined in on her laughter.

"I hope you don't think that I'm being too forward." Mrs. Weber said after a moment. "But I want you to know that if you need anything, just to let us know. We're here for you."

"Angela told you?" I wasn't upset that Angela had talked to her mother, but the situation was a bit uncomfortable.

"No, honey. I have three children of my own, and I have eyes to see with." She patted me on the arm. "I know that a lot people in this town will give you a hard time, but don't let them get you down, OK? You are worth so much more than any of them."

"Thank you." I mumbled, slightly embarrassed by her words. Luckily, Angela called me at that moment. "I'd better go." I gave Mrs. Weber a smile and left the kitchen.

"OK, close your eyes." Angela met me outside the closed door to her room.

I obediently did as she told me, and she led me into the room.

"Hang on… OK, you can look. "

I opened my eyes, and gasped.

"Oh my God, Angela! It's adorable."

She was holding up a mobile in front of me, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore dangling from the four arms.

"Where did you find it?" I wondered, gently touching the little plush Eeyore.

"Wal-Mart." She replied. "And it plays music, too." She wound it up, and the theme from _Winnie the Pooh_ started playing as the figures rotated.

"I love it." I gave her a tight hug, tears in my eyes.

"I'm glad." She said, hugging me back.

I pulled back, wiping a few tears from my eyes, feeling silly that my emotions were so obvious.

"I'll never complain about your surprises again." I vowed, and she giggled.

"Of course you will."

"OK, I probably will." I agreed. "But I'll try not to."

"Deal."

We sat down on the bed, the mobile still playing its tune.

"Your mom knows, by the way." I said after a moment.

"She does?" Angela frowned. "I swear I didn't tell her."

"I know, I know." I hurried to assure her. "She figured it out."

"I'm sorry."

"It's OK. She was really nice about it." Much nicer than I had expected.

"She can be kind of cool."

xxxxx

My four-month check-up went fine; everything was still going the way it was supposed to, and Doctor Jamieson was happy that I had finally started to put on some weight. She told me that she would do another ultrasound at the following check-up, and that, if I wanted, I could find out the sex of the baby. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to know or not.

"Don't you want to be able to prepare?" Angela wondered one day.

"I don't need to know if it's a boy or a girl to be able to do that." I objected.

"I guess not. But it would be a lot more fun." She insisted.

"We'll see." I shrugged.

"Do you have a gut feeling?"

"I think so…"

"Me too." Angela said. "On three?"

"OK. One… two… three."

"Girl." We both said at the same time, which made us laugh.

We were curled up on the couch in our living room, eating Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream straight from the tub and watching American Idol.

It was Sunday evening, and I had asked Angela to come over, because I was in desperate need of a confidence boost for the following day.

I was going public.

It was really becoming inevitable; I was almost eighteen weeks pregnant, and the small bump I had discovered three weeks earlier had grown considerably and was getting more and more difficult to hide. I had hoped to be able to make it to the Christmas holidays before having to resign to the unavoidable, but there were still two weeks left, and I had realized that it would be impossible. I'd even started ditching Gym, so I wouldn't have to get changed with the other girls.

I knew that Principal Greene came into work an hour before school started every day, so I was going to talk to him before first period that Monday. I wanted to settle all the practical details before the rest of the students found out. Charlie was going with me, which I was grateful for. I could use the moral support.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Angela asked, as if she had read my mind.

"Not even close."

"I'll be there, don't worry." She squeezed my hand, and I gave her a grateful smile.

"I seriously don't know what I'd do without you, Ang."

"Good thing you don't have to find out, then."

xxxxx

"Come on, Bells. Let's get this over with." Charlie knocked determinedly on Principal Greene's door while I hesitated a few steps behind him.

"Come in." We heard through the door, and Charlie opened it.

"John." Charlie greeted as we entered the office.

"Charlie." Principal Greene got up and the two men shook hands. "What are you doing here at this time of day? Hello Bella."

"Hi, Principal Greene." I mumbled, eyes fixed on the floor.

"We have a matter we need to discuss with you, John." Charlie sat down in one of the visitors' chairs, and I took the other one.

"Oh? I do hope everything is alright." Principal Greene frowned.

"Well…" Charlie hesitated. "Bella?"

I reluctantly looked up and met Principal Greene concerned eyes.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh, I see." He nodded. "And I assume this will interfere with your school work at some point?"

"Not for a while. The baby's not due until the middle of May, but finals…"

"I'm sure we can arrange something." He interrupted me. "I will of course have to talk to the board, and your teachers, but I am sure you can take the finals later in the summer. I assume you won't be going to college in the fall anyway?"

"No." I shook my head.

Charlie and I had talked about this during the weekend. I was going to wait a year to apply to college, and ask Mrs. Newton if I could work at the store a couple of hours a day when the baby was a little older. This way I might even be able to save up some money for college, and afford the things I would have to get for the baby.

Angela had also investigated the idea she'd had about funds for single parents, and it turned out that Seattle U did indeed have some I could apply for. They even had special apartments on campus for students with children.

"Well, then, I'm sure it won't be a problem." Principal Greene stood up, signaling that the conversation was over. "I'll inform the teachers about your situation. Good to see you Charlie." They shook hands again, and Charlie and I left the office.

"That went well, don't you think?" Charlie said encouragingly on the way out of the building. I glanced up at him, but he was looking straight ahead and didn't notice my anxious appearance.

"Yeah." There was no need to tell him that it wasn't the principal's reaction I'd been dreading.

"I've got to head to work, you'll be OK?" We had gotten to the parking lot and he opened the door to the cruiser, eyeing me with a concerned look on his face.

"Sure." Class was starting in fifteen minutes. "Angela should be here any minute."

"OK. I'll see you tonight then." He patted my shoulder, the closest thing to a public display of affection that Charlie would ever get. "And don't let them get to you, got it?"

I nodded quietly. I wasn't so sure it would be that easy. But, again – no need to tell him that.

Angela drove into the lot a few minutes later, and we walked to Spanish together. I really didn't want to leave the safe cocoon of my parka, but I had made up my mind. So I wouldn't be able to chicken out and change my mind, I had put on a long sleeved t-shirt that clung closely to my protruding abdomen.

I took a deep breath and unzipped my coat, pulling it off and hanging it on one of the hooks just inside the door to the classroom. I looked straight ahead as I turned around and followed Angela to our seats at the back of the room.

Even if I didn't look anybody in the eye, I could still hear them whisper.

"Oh, my God! Is she pregnant?"

"She is! Look at her."

"No doubt about it."

"Should have known there was something going on with the clothes she's been wearing lately."

"Guess that explains why Cullen took off like that."

The last sentence hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was grateful that I had finally reached the desk and could slump into my seat. Angela squeezed my hand tightly.

"Don't listen to them." She mumbled under her breath as Mrs. Goff entered the classroom.

"I'm trying." I mumbled back, desperately struggling to shut out the loud whispers that were coming from all sides.

By the time Angela and I were headed for P.E., the entire school was buzzing with the news. I felt dozens of eyes on me as we walked down the pathway towards the gym, but kept my own firmly on the ground in front of me.

"Just ignore them." Angela mumbled next to me.

"Believe me, I'm trying."

Coach Clapp caught up with me just as Angela and I were about to enter the locker room.

"Bella, the principal filled me in on your… situation." His eyes inadvertently traveled to my belly. "You don't have to participate, we don't want any incidents."

"OK, coach." I willingly agreed. Instead of following Angela into the locker room, I went over to the bleachers and sat down, shrugging my coat off and pulling _Hamlet_ from my bag. We were reading it for English, and I might as well use the suddenly free period wisely.

I didn't look up as I heard the rest of the students enter the gym; I didn't want to meet any of the looks that I had no doubt most of the students were throwing my way. The mumbles coming from the other kids in the gym distracted me, and I had trouble concentrating on the book in front of me.

Angela came over to sit with me until coach Clapp blew his whistle to start the class. They were playing soccer.

I kept my attention firmly on what was happening at the Danish castle until I noticed someone sit down next to me when I was waiting for Angela to get changed.

"Hey Bella."

The voice told me that it was Mike who had joined me, and when I averted my eyes from the page I was on and met his, I saw that he had a concerned look on his face.

"Are you OK?" He asked, and I realized that he was actually worried about me. That sent a wave of gratitude through me.

"I've been better." I admitted, putting the book away.

"Vultures." He muttered, glaring at two boys who were slowly making their way out of the gym, every now and then glancing over their shoulders at us.

I let out a sigh of relief at having found another ally. I just hoped Jessica wouldn't ruin it. I had no doubt that she at least would be avoiding me like the plague from now on. She valued her reputation way too much to risk it by socializing with the school's most recent outcast.

"Everyone's just happy that people aren't gossiping about them, they don't care who the target is." Mike had a tone of revulsion in his voice. "It's sickening, really."

"It's high school, Mike." I shrugged. "I was expecting this." And worse, if I was honest.

"I'm on your side, just so you know." I had figured that out, but it was nice to have confirmation. "If you need to talk or something… anything."

"Thanks, Mike." I gave him an appreciative smile.

Just then, Jessica came out of the locker room and glared at us. Lauren followed closely behind her, and when she spotted me and Mike sitting together, she mumbled something in Jessica's ear.

"I'm not so sure you're girlfriend is too happy about that, though." I noted.

"She'll just have to deal." He said, but he got up. "See you at lunch."

"Bye." I watched as he, Jessica and Lauren left the gym. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked like Mike and Jessica were arguing, and she threw several annoyed looks at me over her shoulder.

Mike didn't sit with us at lunch. When Angela and I entered the cafeteria, he threw me an apologetic look from his seat next to Jessica – the table, where Angela and I usually sat too, was full. I didn't doubt for a second that it was the doing of Jessica and Lauren, letting me know that I was no longer welcome. I shrugged at Mike, letting him know that it was fine.

Angela and I found an empty table close to the exit, and I sat down with my back towards the room. A few minutes later, Ben and his friend Austin joined us. Ben greeted me with his usual cheerfulness, seemingly oblivious to all the looks our table was attracting. Austin seemed a little more uncomfortable.

"You don't have to do this, Ben." I said quietly. "I'm doomed to be the school pariah for the rest of senior year and a few class reunions; I don't want to drag you guys down with me."

"Hey, you're my friend too. And friends don't care what other people think." Ben objected. "Right, Austin?" He added pointedly.

Austin mumbled something unintelligible, but grudgingly nodded.

Jessica and Mike seemed to have come to some sort of agreement about Mike's interaction with me; he would talk to me during the classes we had together and on breaks – when she wasn't around – but he sat with Jessica and her friends during lunch.

Our new lunch table turned out to be a lot more fun than sitting with Jessica and the others had been. After a few days, Austin seemed to have gotten over his initial embarrassment, or whatever it had been, at sitting with us, and started joining in on the conversations. He and Ben had the same kind of dark humor, and Angela and I were always laughing by the time we left the cafeteria.

Mrs. Newton had, of course, already heard about my "situation" when I came in to work on Tuesday.

"Hello, dear, how are you?" She greeted me with a smile.

"I'm good, Mrs. Newton."

"You OK to be working? It won't be too much for you?"

"No, of course not." My heart dropped. "But I understand if you would rather find someone else, I'll just…"

"Nonsense, dear!" She cut me off. "Who cares what people gossip about, anyway? And who knows, you might even be good for business!"

I had to laugh at that, glad that she was joking about it.

"Thanks, Mrs. Newton."

"Don't mention it, dear. And you just let me know if there's anything you need."

"Well, actually…" This might be as good a time as any to broach the subject of my continued employment the coming fall. "I'll be taking a year off before going to college, obviously, and I was wondering if I could perhaps keep working here? Not during the summer, but maybe a bit later in the fall?"

"Oh, but of course! You don't even have to ask. You'll always have a job here, as long as you want."

"Thank you so much."

She just waved off my gratitude with one hand.

"When is the little one set to make an appearance?"

"May." I said, rubbing my hand over my stomach, something that I had started doing almost unconsciously ever since I had first discovered the bump.

"A spring baby, how nice. You'll want stay home over the summer then, of course." She pondered something for a moment. "You could start out working a couple of hours a day in September, does that sound good? And then take on more as he or she gets older."

"That sounds great, Mrs. Newton."

xxxxx

Finally, it was December nineteenth, and I was free from the stares and whispers for two glorious weeks. Renée and Phil flew up the day before Christmas Eve; I was looking forward to all of us spending the holidays together for the first time.

"Look at you!" Renée exclaimed as Charlie and I met them at the airport in Port Angeles. She pulled me into a bone breaking hug. "You've really got that pregnancy glow going. Hi Charlie." I heard Charlie mumble a greeting in return behind me.

"I know." I hugged her back tightly.

Angela had told me the same thing a couple of weeks earlier, but I had insisted that the whole "pregnant women glow" thing was just something someone had come up with to make you feel less like an oversized hippo. Which, by the way, did not work.

Angela had promptly googled it and announced that it was no such thing. It had to do with the heart rate picking up and increasing the volume of blood, or something. I still didn't see it, though.

"Hey, Bella, good to almost see you. Charlie." Phil piped up from behind the overloaded luggage cart he was pushing in front of him. I peeked around the bags to get a look at him.

"Hey Phil. Did you bring your entire wardrobes?" There were three large suitcases and a number of paper bags on the cart.

"No, silly, they're Christmas presents." Renée said, looping her arm with mine and following Charlie towards the exit, Phil tagging along behind us, trying to maneuver the cart without hitting anyone.

"All of them?" I sighed. "Mom, did you not hear me tell you to not go over the top? You can't afford all this!"

"The wonder of outlet malls, honey."

Renée had been sending baby stuff on a weekly basis lately; clothes, bibs, toys, bottles, pacifiers, anything she could think of. And now this.

"You'll be filing for personal bankruptcy if you keep this up." I complained.

"Don't worry, Bella, I've got everything under control." Phil assured me, catching up to us in the parking lot. "Your mom's just excited."

"She can't be excited somewhere other than Toys'R'Us?" I replied, spotting a big bag from the store precariously perched on top of a suitcase.

"Oh, come on." Renée poked me in the ribs. "Don't be such a spoil sport. It's Christmas."

I was grateful for everything she got me, really. It meant that I didn't have to spend as much money. But I didn't want her to waste her entire salary on stuff for me and the baby.

"I'm sorry mom. Thanks." I tried to amend as we watched Charlie and Phil try to fit everything into the trunk of the cruiser. They didn't succeed completely, and a few bags had to be stuffed into the backseat with Renée and Phil.

They weren't sleeping at the house, since it would be a little crowded for the four of us, and probably more than a little awkward. We stopped by the bed and breakfast where they were staying on the way to the house, and dropped off their luggage.

"I see you've started baby proofing the place." Renée noted as she entered the house.

"It's all dad." I replied, and saw Charlie turn a little red.

"Well, we can't have open electrical sockets and sharp edges when the kid starts crawling around." He muttered before heading into the kitchen.

"He was the same with you." Renée told me. "The entire place was done six months before you were even born. I swear, if I hadn't stopped him, he would have wrapped everything, including me, in bubble wrap."

I didn't have trouble picturing that, and laughed. Charlie's overprotective side seemed to grow at the same speed as my belly.

"He means well." I defended him.

"He does." Renée agreed. "He just goes a bit over the top."

"And are you the pot or the kettle?" I replied, eyeing the Christmas presents that she was arranging under the tree in the corner of the room.

"Oh, shush you." She put the last brightly wrapped parcel in place and stood up. "So, the ultrasound is on Monday, right?" She had managed to get enough time off so she would be able to go with me to my check-up the following week.

"Yes."

"And have you decided if you want to know the sex yet?"

"I've decided that I can't decide, so I'm going to wait until then and just go with my gut." I had finally given up trying to make up my mind on the subject.

"Sounds smart." Renée nodded. "And is anyone moving around in there yet?"

"Not yet." Doctor Jamieson had told me that I could expect to start feeling movement around twenty weeks, but so far there had been nothing. She had also said that I probably wouldn't know what it was at first, so I could have missed it.

"Don't worry, it'll come."

And it did. Renée and Phil came over early on Christmas Day morning, and we were opening presents when I felt something weird. I froze in position, hands reaching for a box, and concentrated on the feeling.

"What's wrong, honey?" Renée asked in a concerned tone.

"Hang on." I sat up straight and pressed my hand to the area where I thought I'd felt something. And there it was again. "It feels like butterflies." I mumbled quietly.

"You can feel the baby moving?" Renée was quickly at my side, her hand covering mine.

"I think so." I removed my hand so Renée could feel it too.

"Oh, she's definitely moving." Renée was, like Angela and I, convinced that the baby was a girl. "Hey, baby, it's Grandma. I hope you're nice and comfy in there." She rubbed the spot on my stomach.

I was surprised at how easily Renée had adopted the term Grandma. I had been expecting her to refuse, saying that it made her feel old, but she seemed to be really looking forward to it.

"She has perfect timing, doesn't she?" Renée noted. The fluttering stopped, and she removed her hand from my belly.

"Best Christmas present ever."


	16. 16 Pink or Blue?

**AN:**** Here's another chapter for you guys, let me know how you like it! I should probably warn you that I am going to be a little busy in the next couple of weeks; got an exam and two papers due (and I should really be studying now…), so I can't promise to keep updating as frequently, but I will try. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them…**

**16 ****– Pink or Blue?**

I went over to Angela's place later on Christmas Day to exchange presents. Mrs. Weber opened when I knocked on the door.

"Merry Christmas, honey. How are you doing?" She stepped aside and I passed her to get into the house.

"I'm good, thank you." She took my parka, and ushered me ahead of her into the living room.

"Hey Bella, Merry Christmas." Angela greeted me from the couch. She was playing some kind of video game with her brothers.

"Merry Christmas." I replied, joining her on the couch.

"Would anyone like some hot chocolate?" Mrs. Weber asked from the kitchen.

"Sure mom." Angela replied.

"That would be nice, Mrs. Weber." It was freezing outside.

Angela paused the game, under wild protests from her brothers, and we went into the kitchen to drink the hot chocolate.

"That's a pretty necklace." Angela noted, pointing at the silver heart charm that was dangling against my stomach.

"Renée gave it to me, it's a baby chime." I moved the chain, and a low, chiming sound filled the air. "The sound is supposed to be soothing for the baby."

"That's really cool."

We finished the chocolate and headed out of the kitchen. In the middle of the stairs, I felt the fluttering movement in my belly again, and I grabbed Angela's arm, pulling her to a stop.

"What is it?" She wondered, but I just pressed her hand to the spot on my stomach. After a moment, her eyes went wide. "She's moving!"

"Yeah. I felt it for the first time this morning."

"Wow." Angela pressed her hand harder against the fluttering. "It feels kind of like a fish moving."

"I think it's more like butterflies." I replied, and she nodded.

"You're right. And a much nicer image, too."

We continued up the stairs and into Angela's room. I pulled my present out from my bag and handed it to her.

"Merry Christmas." I said with a smile.

She pulled a box from underneath her bed before taking my present.

"Merry Christmas. You have to open the box first; it's not your actual present, just a funny thing I couldn't resist."

I saw that there was an envelope attached to the box and removed it before tearing off the wrapping paper. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Does it look good?" I pulled the t-shirt over my head. The words BUN IN THE OVEN was written on it. "Because it's just not obvious enough as it is."

"You don't have to wear it." Angela laughingly promised. "It was just a funny thing."

"I love it, thank you." I gave her a one-armed hug.

"OK, time for the real presents."

She unwrapped the small box I had given her, and I opened the envelope to reveal a gift certificate of some kind.

"Thank you, this is going to be great!" She exclaimed.

I had gotten her two tickets to a concert in Seattle with a band that I knew both she and Ben liked. I pulled a card from the envelope and my eyes went wide.

"Oh my God, Ang, this is amazing." It was a gift certificate for a massage at Renaissance in Port Angeles.

"They have something called MoMA, that's supposed to be great when you're pregnant. I figured you'd probably get tons of baby stuff anyway, and I thought you would like something that was just for you."

"Thank you so much." I hugged her tightly. A massage sounded heavenly.

xxxxx

I was working a couple of hours the following Monday, before my doctors appointment at four. Mike greeted me with a cheerful "Merry Christmas" as we met in the parking lot.

We didn't work together during the school week, and it was a nice change to get to hang out with him for longer than a couple of minutes, and without having to worry about Jessica showing up. There weren't many customers in the store, and we spent most of the time sitting on the counter, talking about this and that. It felt good to know that Mike had meant what he'd said that day in Gym – he was acting just like always around me, like nothing had changed.

"Are you heading out soon?" Mike asked in the afternoon.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was a little after half past three.

"Yeah, I should probably get going. Do you need me to come back after I'm done at the hospital?" I climbed down from the counter as I spoke.

"Nah, I think I'll close up soon, anyway. The place is dead." He was right; there hadn't been a customer in the store since right after lunch.

"OK." I grabbed my bag. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you tomorrow." Mike agreed. "And hey, bring a picture!" He called after me.

"I will." I waved as I left the store.

Charlie and Renée met me in the parking lot at the hospital, and we walked through the corridors together. Doctor Jamieson was already in her office when the nurse let us in.

"Hello Bella, Chief." She smiled at us. "And a new addition, I see."

"I'm Renée, Bella's mom." The two women shook hands.

"Ah, visiting over Christmas, I suppose?"

"Exactly. Thought I'd tag along."

"That's perfectly fine, as long as Bella's OK with it." Doctor Jamieson nodded at the paper gown lying on the cot. "You know the drill."

I quickly went behind the curtain and donned the gown before getting on the scale.

"121, that's good." Doctor Jamieson nodded in approval, and I took that as a sign to get off the scale. She quickly checked my blood pressure as well, and it was still OK.

Charlie slipped quietly from the room as I got into the examination chair, but Renée came over to stand next to me.

"Have you felt any movement yet?" The doctor asked as she pulled on some rubber gloves.

"Yeah, just a couple of days ago actually." I told her.

"Exciting, isn't it?" I knew she was trying to distract me from what she was doing, and happily played along.

"It felt a little like butterflies."

"I've heard that analogy." She nodded. "You'll probably feel a lot more of that in the next months, and you might even be able to see it."

"Really?"

Doctor Jamieson finished the examination and tossed the rubber gloves before taking down one of the pictures that were covering the wall behind her desk and handing it to me.

"Wow." It was a picture of someone's very pregnant stomach, and right next to the belly button, there was the distinct imprint of a tiny foot.

"It's pretty amazing." She put the photo back on the wall. "OK, time for the fun stuff."

I quickly got dressed while Renée went to get Charlie and Doctor Jamieson got the ultrasound machine ready.

"OK, let's see here…" She moved the probe around a little. "There we go." The fluttering sound from last time once again filled the room. "Nice, strong heartbeat, sounds just like it should."

"Can you see if it's a girl or a boy?" Renée wondered impatiently, and Doctor Jamieson nodded.

"Do you want to know?" She gave me an inquisitive look.

"Yeah." I decided spontaneously.

"Well, then I can tell you, perhaps not with a hundred per cent certainty, but at least ninety nine or so… that you're having a girl."

"Really?" I felt a smile spread on my face.

"Oh, I knew it!" Renée squeezed my hand.

"I'll print a couple of pictures for you." Doctor Jamieson left the room.

"This is so exciting." Renée exclaimed as I slid off the cot. "Why aren't you more excited?"

"I am, mom, I'm just not as obvious about it as you are."

"Leave the girl alone, Renée." Charlie said, reminding me of his presence. He had been so quiet during the ultrasound that I had almost forgotten that he was there.

"Thanks dad." I gave him a grateful smile.

We sat back down in the visitors' chairs, waiting for Doctor Jamieson to return.

"Here you go." She said as she reentered the room, handing me a couple of photos. "I got a few extra, thought you might need them."

The picture from the first ultrasound was already pinned to the fridge, and this one would join it as soon as we got home.

"Thanks." I put the pictures into my bag, carefully so as not to damage them.

"I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things today." Doctor Jamieson sat down behind her desk. "Have you decided who you want in the delivery room with you?"

"I'll be with her." Renée answered in my place. She had already told me that she was going to take time off from work to be here when the baby arrived, and I was very grateful for that.

"But you don't live here, right?"

"No, but I'll be here."

"OK. I would also recommend that you sign up for a Lamaze class; there's one starting in two weeks in Port Angeles." She took a folder from the desk and handed it to me. "It really helps with relaxation and breathing during the labor and birth. But you'll need someone to go with you."

"I'll ask a friend." I replied. Angela would no doubt come if I asked her, and I had a feeling that Charlie would be happy to be let off the hook.

"Good. It's a twelve week course, with a one hour class every Wednesday at six. All the information you need is in the folder."

I'd have to talk to Mrs. Newton, but I was sure Mike wouldn't mind switching so I could have Wednesdays off every week.

"I think that's it for now." Doctor Jamieson said. "Leave a urine sample with Sarah, as usual, and I will see you next month."

xxxxx

Since I didn't need to go back to work, I stopped by Angela's on the way home.

"So?" She said expectantly as she let me in through the door.

"We were right." I beamed and handed her the picture from the ultrasound.

"It's a girl! Yay!" She was almost more excited than Renée had been, and that was saying a lot. "We need a girl!"

"Why do we need a girl?" I asked incredulously, still smiling – I hadn't been able to get the silly grin off my face since I had left the hospital.

"I don't know, aren't there enough guys walking around out there?" Angela replied, laughing.

"That doesn't make any sense whatsoever." I pointed out.

"I know. Come on, this calls for celebratory ice cream!"

She pulled me with her into the kitchen and grabbed a tub of Phish Food from the freezer. I got a couple of spoons from a drawer and we went into the living room and curled up on the couch.

"Now we have to go baby shopping for real, no more beating about the bush!" Angela announced, pointing at me with her spoon. So far, I had only gotten neutral stuff, things that would work for both a boy and a girl. "I saw the cutest little dress last time we were at The Kids Closet."

"Saturday?" I suggested. "Everything's on sale now, and I need some new stuff too."

"Definitely."

"Hey, Ang? I have a favor to ask."

"Shoot."

"Well, I have to take this Lamaze class thing in Port Angeles, and someone has to go with me, and I really don't think Charlie would…"

"Of course I'll go with you." She interrupted.

"Really? Thank you." I squeezed her hand gratefully.

"When is it?"

"Wednesdays at six, it starts in two weeks."

"OK, no problem."

Angela turned on the TV, and we watched old reruns of _Friends_ for a while.

"Now you can start to think about names." Angela noted a little later, when we were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows. Or, in my case, eating marshmallows slightly dampened by hot chocolate.

"I have actually been thinking a little about that already." I replied.

"Really? Any good ones?"

"Well, there is one…" I paused. "I want her to have a name that means something, you know. Not just something random."

"I get that." Angela nodded.

"My dad used to tell me this story when I was little, about his great grandmother Lily. She lived in London at the turn of the century, and when her husband died, she took her five children and went to America all by herself." I remembered asking him to tell me the story every night when I had visited in the summers. "She managed to make a new life for herself and her family with hardly any money, in a strange country, with nobody to help her. She's always been a kind of role model for me."

"Lily. Lily Swan." Angela seemed to taste the name. "I like it. And with a story like that…"

"I haven't talked to Charlie about it yet, but I think he'll like it."

"Do you have a back up? They can't be a hundred per cent sure, can they?"

"Doctor Jamieson said about ninety nine per cent." I explained. "But no, not really."

The truth was, I had avoided considering the possibility that the baby wasn't a girl. It was just too easy to picture a little boy with bronze colored hair and bright, green eyes, and if I started down that road...

"You don't have to think about it now." Angela said, as if she knew where my mind had wandered off to.

"It's just… hard." I bit my lip against the familiar stab of pain. It had gotten better, but was still very much there when I let myself think – which wasn't often. I had perfected the art of repressing uncomfortable thoughts.

"I know." She squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"He didn't even tell me they were leaving until they actually were." It was the first time I talked about _that_ day, but it felt like it was time to let go of the past and focus on the future. And I knew I needed to go through my memories in order to do that.

"Like, the same day?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'd known something was off, remember we talked about it? He said that he'd wanted to tell me, but that he just couldn't."

"What kind of excuse is that?" Angela huffed.

"That's what I thought too. So I got mad. I accused him of wanting to get out of our relationship, and using the move as an excuse to be able to do that. He insisted that it wasn't like that, so I asked him what he'd thought would happen, saying that long distance relationships never worked."

"Oh, sweetie." She wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I realized that I had tears in my eyes. But it didn't hurt as much to talk about it as I had thought it would.

"He didn't tell me where they were going. I guess I didn't give him a chance, attacking like I did. And when I finally called him, it was too late. His phone had been disconnected."

"Did you try to call Alice?"

"Same thing. I even called information to get Rose's number in Seattle, but they didn't have a listing for her or Emmett or Jasper." I sighed. "I just assumed that they moved with the rest of the family. Wherever they went."

"I'm sorry. I know how hard this has been for you."

"It actually feels good to finally get it out there. I've been holding on to the memories of that day for too long. It's time to move on. I have to." I ran a hand over my stomach. "If nothing else, then at least for her. She deserves that much."

"Good for you."

I gave her a weak smile. I hadn't completely gotten to the moving on part yet, but I was on my way.

xxxxx

When I got home, Charlie, Renée and Phil were just sitting down to have dinner, and I joined them.

"Hey dad, I wanted to talk to you about something." I said as I put some salad on my plate. Charlie insisted that I have vegetables with every meal. He was the one who told me what I could and couldn't eat, and also made sure I followed the "rules". Which was why I always went to Angela's for ice cream. Nowhere had I found anything to indicate that I shouldn't eat ice cream – I'd even asked Doctor Jamieson, who had said that it was fine – but Charlie insisted that too much sugar wasn't good.

"What's up, Bells?"

"Well, I've been thinking about names for a while, and I remembered the story you used to tell me when I was little, about your great grandmother Lily. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember." He chuckled. "You refused to sleep if I didn't tell you the story every night."

"I know. So I think I want to call her Lily." I smiled at Renée. "Lily Renée Swan. That way she gets something from both of you. What do you think?"

"Oh, honey, I think it's perfect!" Renée exclaimed, her eyes shiny with emotion.

"Yeah, Bells, that's a great name." Charlie mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I realized that I had embarrassed him a little, but decided that he could take it for once.

Renée and Phil headed back to their bed and breakfast after dinner. I decided to make it an early night and curled up in bed with Nick Carraway. I didn't get far before my eyelids got heavy, and I put the book aside.

I hadn't had any nightmares in a while, but that night I woke up screaming again. Charlie came rushing into my room.

"What's wrong?"

I breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.

"Nothing, just a dream."

"You scared the crap out of me, Bells." He sighed. "Try to go back to sleep, it's still early."

"I will."

I curled up under the covers as well as I could – my stomach was starting to get in the way. Wrapping the cover tightly around me, I closed my eyes.

It had been a new dream this time. I was walking along the beach at La Push, a little girl with long, bronze colored hair and big, brown eyes walking next to me, her hand in mine. Suddenly, she let go off my hand and ran down to the water, laughing as she went. I stayed where I was and watched her skipping through the shallow water. Then, out of nowhere, Edward was there. He scooped her up, and walked away from me. I ran after them, but the distance between us just grew, until they disappeared completely, and I woke up.

I wasn't sure what had brought the nightmare on. Maybe talking about the day he left had triggered something inside me.

I didn't sleep more that night.

xxxxx

"How can they even tell that it's a girl?" Mike asked the next day, turning the ultrasound picture around in his hands. The store was empty, and we were once again sitting on the counter next to the register.

"I have no idea." I admitted, yawning. My more or less sleepless night was starting to take a toll on me. "But the doctor was pretty sure, so I'm taking her word for it. I've thought she was a girl all along, anyway."

"I'm guessing the nursery will be completely pink, then?" He gave me back the picture.

"There is no actual nursery, but I'm sure Angela will force me to get plenty of pink stuff." I had started to dread the upcoming shopping trip a little. "We're going to Port Angeles on Saturday."

"Sounds like fun. What are you doing for New Years tomorrow?"

"Hanging out with Charlie, eating Chinese food and watching Dick Clark." Renée and Phil were flying back to Florida that afternoon, so Charlie and I would be on our own again.

"I would invite you to go with Jess and me to Lauren's New Years Eve party, but I doubt you'd want to spend any more time than necessary in their company." Mike got a sheepish look on his face and avoided my eyes.

"As tempting as some public humiliation sounds, I think I'll put that off until school starts back up."

"Sounds smart." Mike nodded. "I've tried talking to Jess, I just don't understand why she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore."

I didn't want to tell Mike that the only thing Jessica cared about was what people thought of her, and that the only reason she had even hung out with me in the first place had probably been because I was new and attracted a lot of attention. She was his girlfriend, after all, no need to rub his nose in all her unflattering characteristics.

"It's OK, Mike, you don't have to try to get her to come around." I was perfectly fine without her company. "Some people just aren't meant to be friends." There, that was nice enough, right? Not judgmental at all.

"I guess. But I told her off when she asked me not to talk to you anymore. She can't tell me who to be friends with." His voice sounded defiant.

"Thanks."

An old man entered the store just then, and Mike jumped off the counter to go and help him. I climbed down using a chair. Mike showed the man to the right section of the store and then returned to me.

"I just remembered that I need to ask you a favor." I said as he rounded the counter.

"What?"

"Well, I have to go to these Lamaze classes in Port Angeles on Wednesdays, the fist one's in two weeks, and since I work every other Wednesday, I was wondering if you could switch shifts with me."

"Sure, no problem. You want Tuesdays instead?"

"Really? Great, thank you."

"What friends are for."

xxxxx

The shopping trip with Angela turned out to be a lot of fun. Sure, my feet and back ached when we got home, but it was worth it.

We had found a lot of great stuff at The Kids Closet, and since everything had been on sale, I had gotten away with spending a lot less money than I had thought. Angela had insisted on buying a bunch of stuff too, and between what we had gotten and what Renée and Phil had given me for Christmas, I now had all the clothes, bottles, bibs, pacifiers and other little things that I would need for the first month, at least. Bigger things, like a crib, changing table and baby carriage I was saving up for from my salary.

The rest of the Christmas break was uneventful. I worked with Mike, and hung out with Angela most nights, since Ben was off skiing somewhere in Vermont with his parents. When I got home in the evenings, Charlie would always be down in the basement with the door locked. I tried to ask him what he was doing down there, but he avoided my question.

I got my answer the day before school started back up. Charlie came up from the basement with a satisfied look on his face just when I was finishing dinner.

"Come on, I want to show you something." He looked like a kid on Christmas.

I followed him down to the basement, where something was covered with a sheet in the middle of the floor.

"Stand over here." He placed me a few feet away. "Ta-da!" He pulled the sheet away, and I looked in awe at the piece of furniture in front of me.

"Wow." I ran my hand over the smooth, white wood of the crib. "Did you make this?" He shook his head.

"It's your old crib. I just fixed it up, painted it and stuff. Do you like it?" He looked worried, like he thought I wouldn't.

"I love it." I gave him a big hug that he awkwardly returned before quickly slipping away. I could already see the crib under the window in my room, the Winnie the Pooh mobile hanging above it.

"I didn't know if you wanted it to be pink or not, so I thought white would work. I can get pink paint if you want, though."

"Don't be silly, it's absolutely perfect."

He carried the crib up to my room, and under my instructions placed it right under the window. I got the mobile from the closet and attached it to the crib.

"There." I wound it up, and we stood listening as the song played to an end.

xxxxx

If I had thought that the Christmas break would have made people tire of staring at me wherever I went or whisper about me behind my back, I had been sorely mistaken. The first day back felt very much like the two weeks before the break. Angela, Ben, Austin and Mike were still the only students who actually spoke _to_ me instead of about me.

My mood had been pretty good at the start of term, but the unwelcome attention from my fellow school mates along with the increasing ache in my back from the weight of the baby started to wear me down pretty soon. The fact that it was becoming increasingly difficult to sleep, since I couldn't find a position that was comfortable for longer than five minutes at a time, didn't exactly help either. By February, I was starting to feel like the Michelin man, and I still had more than three months to go.

The Lamaze class in Port Angeles was interesting, but there, too, I was the one people looked at. The other mothers-to-be were all in their early thirties and accompanied by husbands or boyfriends. They didn't stare as openly as the kids at school did, but it still made me uncomfortable.

"Do you want to do something Saturday?" Angela asked one day when we were walking to the parking lot after school. "You're not working, are you?"

"Nope, this is my Saturday off. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Whatever you want." Angela shrugged, and I thought she sounded a little too casual. I wondered what that was about.

"Hang on." Something occurred to me. "Saturday's Valentine's Day."

"I was kind of hoping you didn't remember that." She said with a sheepish look on her face.

"Angela, I'm not going to monopolize you on Valentine's Day. It's the first one you and Ben are spending together."

"It's fine, Bella. We're going out on Friday."

"No." I was not backing down on this.

"I just don't want you to be alone all day."

"I'll be fine. I'll ask Mike if I can take his shift at the store, he probably wants to spend the day with Jessica anyway."

"Are you sure?" Angela insisted.

"Yes, Ang. Spend the day with your boyfriend, at least one of us should have some fun."

"If you're positive." She still sounded hesitant.

"I am. There won't be any Valentine's stuff at the store anyway; I can pretend that it's just any day."

"OK." Angela agreed. "But promise to let me know if you change your mind."

"I will." I assured her.

But when I got home, I didn't call Newton's to talk to Mike. When I dropped my school bag on my bed, I noticed the envelope Angela had given me for Christmas on the desk. I pulled the gift certificate out. They were probably booked on Saturday, but it was worth a shot. I dialed the number on the card.

"_Renaissance __Massage and Wellness, how may I help you?"_ A pleasant, female voice answered.

"Yes, hi, I would like to know if I could schedule a massage on Saturday?"

"_Let me just check…__ yes, we have an opening at three. What kind of massage would you like?"_

"I think it's called MoMA."

"_Oh, yes, our mother's massage.__ I'm sure you will enjoy it. And what name should I put the appointment in?"_

"Bella Swan."

"_OK, Bella. __Now, you need to be here twenty minutes before your scheduled appointment, since there is a form to fill out before the actual massage. Do you know your way around Port Angeles?"_

I had passed the place a couple of times, and was pretty sure I could find it.

"I think I will find it, thank you."

"_Good. Then I hope you will have a pleasant experience here with us on Saturday."_

When I hung up the phone, the bad mood I had been in lately had brightened somewhat. I deserved to pamper myself a little; it could be my Valentine's present to myself.

xxxxx

Charlie and I had lunch before I left for Port Angeles that Saturday. I found the massage place without a problem, and walked into the building.

"Welcome to Renaissance." A blonde woman with a big smile on her face greeted me from behind a counter inside the doors.

"Hi." I walked up to the counter. "I have an appointment at three."

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes."

She handed me a piece of paper and a pen, the smile still in place; my cheeks were starting to hurt just from looking at her.

"I need you to fill this out; you can sit down right over there. Your massage therapist will be out in just a little while."

I took a seat in one of the armchairs she had indicated and filled out the form. After a few minutes, another woman came into the reception area, a smile similar to that of the receptionist's on her face as she approached me.

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes." I stood up.

"My name is Rebecca, I'll be your massage therapist." She held out her hand and I shook it.

"Bella."

"Bella, then. I can take that." She took the form I had just filled out. "Right this way." I followed her through a door and down a corridor. Soft, classical music was playing in the background. "Here we are."

She held open a door for me and followed me into the room. There was a massage table with a big hole in it in the middle of the room – I had wondered how that would work – and candles covered the flat surfaces around the room.

"I will leave you to get undressed. You can keep your underwear on. Just lie down on your back and cover yourself with the sheet when you're done."

Rebecca left the room and I followed her instructions, folding my clothes and putting them on a chair by the wall. When I had been ready for a couple of minutes, she opened the door slightly.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

She came back into the room.

"Are there any areas in particular that you want me to focus on?" She asked, taking a bottle of massage oil from a table.

"The back, I guess." It had been aching almost constantly the last couple of weeks.

"I see."

She stood at the head of the table and started massaging my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let the low background music and her soft hands relax my body.

**AN: I hope I haven't made any enemies by not sticking with Renesmee, I'm just not that fond of the name – sorry! ****I'm sure someone picked up on my borrowing, this time from Gilmore Girls, another favorite of mine. **


	17. 17 Showers and Dancing

**AN: Well, here it is, the next chapter! I'm sorry about the delay, but, like I said, I had an exam yesterday and a paper due this week. Now that they're behind me, I thought I could take a little study break. I hope you like the chapter, let me know!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to Twilight. Except for the books, which doesn't really count…**

**17 – ****Showers and Dancing**

I was more relaxed over the next couple of days than I had been in months. For almost a week , the after effects of the massage made my mood much lighter, and not even Lauren's evil looks or Jessica's cold shoulder could affect me.

February passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was the middle of March. The preliminary due date I had been given by Doctor Jamieson loomed on the horizon, and I was slowly starting to freak out. I didn't handle pain very well, and the one thing I was sure about when it came to the birth was that it would be painful.

"It'll be fine." Angela tried to assure me one afternoon when we were sitting in the Coffee Shop. "There are tons of drugs they can give you, you won't feel a thing."

"God, I hope you're right." I grimaced.

"Try not to worry about it." She suggested, and I stared at her incredulously.

"That'll be easy."

Renée had told me the story of when I was born too many times for me to be able to relax at all; hours and hours of labor, people prodding every possible and impossible part of your body, hearty nurses telling you to "tuff it out".

At the end of March, I finally had enough money saved up to get a baby carriage. I had been shocked when I had first done an internet search to find a good carriage – they were very expensive. I had found a couple that were combined baby carriages and strollers – they could be used for several years, which was a definite plus – but they were all at least $400. I also had to get a car seat, which luckily was not as expensive. Charlie had searched the basement a little more thoroughly and unearthed my old high chair, so that was one less thing to worry about. He had also gotten a good deal on a used playpen from a friend. I still wasn't sure what to do about a changing table, since neither my room nor the bathroom were large enough to actually fit one.

So, the last Saturday in March, Angela and I headed to Port Angeles. There was a store there that sold everything from toys to furniture and clothes; I had brought all my savings, and was prepared to use them.

"This one is nice." Angela noted, picking up a car seat. It was pretty neutral, in white and gray, and had all the things I had put on my list.

"That's a very good choice." A sales clerk came up to us, a friendly smile on her face. "That model has been very popular, and so far no unhappy customers."

"How much is it?" I asked warily. The price really was essential.

"Since this particular model is no longer available from the manufacturer, we've just lowered the price to $79. And if there's anything else you need, I'm sure I can make you a good deal."

I was starting to like this store.

"Well, I was looking to get a baby carriage too." I said, glancing around the store. "Do you have any of those combined strollers and carriages?"

"We certainly do." The woman escorted us over to a corner of the store, where several different strollers were gathered. "These models are all combinations, and come with both a bassinette and a toddler seat, so you'll be all set."

"Which one would you recommend?" I had tried to educate myself on the importance of different things when it came to strollers, but hadn't quite understood everything I had read.

"Well, they're all good." She studied the different strollers for a brief moment. "This one is on sale right now, and it's been quite a best-seller, a favorite among our customers." She indicated a red stroller close to the wall.

I silently thanked her for understanding that money was an issue without me having to say it.

"It used to be available in several different colors, but I'm afraid we only have the red one left." She apologized.

"That's OK, I'll take it."

The clerk went to the storage room to get a stroller that was still boxed up, and Angela carried the car seat over to the check-out counter.

"I might actually have some money left after this." I contemplated out loud. I didn't know how much the stroller was, but it should be less than I had calculated since it was on sale.

The clerk returned with a box on a cart.

"Let's see then." She came around the counter. "That's $79 for the car seat, and $400 for the stroller, and half off on that one…" She gave me a quick smile. "Let's make it $250 total."

I quickly got the sum out of my wallet and handed her the money.

"Thank you." She put the money into the register before giving me the receipt. "Save that, because there's a two year guarantee on both the stroller and the car seat."

"I will. Thank you very much."

I took the receipt in one hand and the car seat in the other. Angela grabbed the box with the stroller and managed to haul it out the door and to her car in the parking lot. I opened the door and she heaved the box into the backseat. I put the car seat into the trunk, and we both got into the car.

"Wow, I still have more than three hundred left." I counted the bills in my wallet. I had no doubt that the money would come in use later, but for the moment I felt rich.

"We got lucky." Angela noted.

"Definitely."

When we got back to my place, Charlie came out and helped us unload the stroller. He took the box and the car seat down to the basement, where they would be the least in the way until they were needed.

"Could you turn your computer on?" Charlie wondered when he came back upstairs. "I want to show you something I found."

I gave him a wary look, but headed upstairs and turned the practically antique machine on. I hadn't even been aware that Charlie knew how to use a computer; he had always seemed to be one of those anti-technology guys.

"Go out on that internet thing." He said when the computer had finally finished loading, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. When the internet window had opened, he typed the address into the url-window with his index fingers. It took a while.

"I didn't know you were such a computer wiz." I teased when he hit enter. We waited as the page loaded.

"Mark showed me this." He explained. "There." He pointed at the screen, and I looked at it.

There was a picture of a plastic changing table attached to the wall, the kind you found in public restrooms.

"You can hang it on the wall in the bathroom." Charlie needlessly explained. "It won't take up any space at all when you're not using it."

"That's great dad." Another problem solved.

"Mark helped me order it at work, so it should be getting here next week."

"Thanks, dad." I squeezed his hand in an appreciative gesture.

"No problem." He mumbled, going slightly red from my display of affection. He pulled his hand away and shuffled out of the room. When I heard him turn the television on in the living room, I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

xxxxx

March turned into April, and Charlie started talking about trading my truck in for another car.

"Why?" I whined, not caring that I sounded very much like a petulant child. I loved my truck; it wasn't just a car, it had personality.

"It's not a suitable car, Bella." Charlie tried to explain. "You can't put the car seat in the truck." I pouted, but didn't argue. Even though I didn't want to give up my truck, I realized that he had a point. That didn't stop me from moping a little, though.

The following afternoon, we went to Port Angeles to try to find a car that was "suitable". Charlie knew a guy who knew a guy that owned a dealership there, and would give us a good deal.

When we got there, the guy took one look at my beloved truck and snickered.

"I don't have a lot that you can trade that old thing for, but if you can throw in a few thousand, I've got just the car for you."

I didn't like him – he was hurting my truck's feelings.

"One thousand." Charlie replied, and I nudged him in the ribs. I didn't have a thousand dollars, and even if I'd had that kind of money, I wouldn't have spent it on a car. "Don't worry, Bells. I got it." He mumbled.

The guy led us over to a blue sedan with fluffy, white dices hanging from the rear view mirror. I instantly disliked it – not for any sensible reason, just out of principle.

"Accord, 1990. Engine in perfect condition." The guy patted the hood. "You're not going to get a better deal anywhere else, I can tell you that."

"What do you think, Bells?" Charlie wondered, turning to me.

"It's fine." I shrugged, looking away from the fluffy dices – they would definitely have to go.

I knew it was just a car, but I was going to miss my truck.

"I'll give you five hundred." Charlie countered, turning back to the car salesman.

"Seven fifty. That's the best I can do."

"OK." They shook on the deal, and the guy went to get the necessary papers.

I drove the Accord back to Forks, and it was nothing like the truck. The engine wasn't exactly quiet, but it was nowhere near the racket the truck made. And it smelled funny; not bad, really, just… weird, somehow.

"I'll take it to Joe's tomorrow; he'll do a thorough cleaning." Charlie said, wrinkling his nose.

"Thanks."

xxxxx

April brought spring to Forks, and I was glad to finally be able to put my parka back in the basement. I hadn't been able to close it in over a month, and didn't feel like buying a new winter jacket.

An unusually warm night the week after Easter, Angela and I were walking through Tillicum Park. Doctor Jamieson had ordered me to take a walk at least three times a week.

"So, less than four weeks left." Angela noted. "How does it feel?"

"Like I'm about ready to explode." I complained. Doctor Jamieson had said that I was smaller than what was normal at thirty six weeks, and having seen photos of other pregnant women, I did believe her. Of course, knowing that didn't help at all – I was still more than a little uncomfortable.

"It'll be over soon." Angela said encouragingly.

"Yeah. I sure hope this kid is punctual."

Angela laughed.

Everything was ready at the house; the crib was fully equipped, the extra dresser I had gotten was full of the essentials, the high chair in place in the kitchen, stroller just inside the door, car seat in the car. The changing table was hanging on the wall in the bathroom, having arrived a few days after Charlie had ordered it.

One good thing about my current waist measurement was that Angela picked me up for school in the mornings; I had only been able to drive the Accord for about a week, before I could no longer reach the pedals if I put the seat far enough back to actually fit behind the wheel. I still hadn't bonded with me new car, and I was in no rush.

"You about ready to head home?" Angela asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, this should be enough exercise for one day."

We headed in the direction of her car, and a few minutes later, she dropped me off at home.

"See you tomorrow." I said, pushing off from the seat to get out of the car.

"Same time, same place." Angela smiled as she pulled out from the curb, and I waved before going inside.

Charlie was in the living room, watching a basketball game. I had never really understood the beauty of tall guys chasing a rubber ball around a court, trying to get it through a hoop, but I flopped down next to him on the couch.

"Good walk?" He asked, eyes never leaving the screen. The game must be exciting.

"I guess." I shrugged.

"Renée called earlier." He continued. "She's booked a flight on the first."

"That's more than a week early. She doesn't have to come here so soon." I objected.

"I told her that too, but she only mumbled something about babies coming early all the time, and that she didn't want to miss anything." He shrugged. "You can always try reasoning with her." The last part was said in a sarcastic tone, and I chose to ignore it.

"But Doctor Jamieson said that it's far more likely that I'll go past the due date than that anything will happen before it." I pointed out.

"You know Renée." Apparently, he thought that was enough of an explanation.

I sighed. He was right, of course; if she had her mind set on something, there was nothing that could convince her otherwise.

Normally, Renée and I got along great, but I had been getting annoyed by her overprotective behavior even over the phone lately, and was worried that we would get on each other's nerves when she was actually in the same house.

"It'll be fine, Bells." Charlie said, as if he knew what I was thinking. "She's just a bit extreme because she's all the way across the country, it'll be better once she's here."

"I hope so." At least it couldn't get any worse… or so I hoped.

xxxxx

As I got closer to the due date – and as my belly expanded – I got less and less nervous about the actual birth, and more and more anxious for the whole thing to just be over. I wanted time to move faster and, of course, expected it to do the exact opposite, which – in my experience – was usually the case.

So I was surprised when I woke up one morning, and realized that it was May. As I took a shower and got dressed, I briefly wondered what had happened to the rest of April.

"You ready to go soon?" Charlie asked when I waddled into the kitchen for breakfast. There really was no other word for the way I moved these days.

"Yeah, just need some food." I poured some muesli and milk into a bowl and grabbed two slices of bread, popping them in the toaster. I finished off the muesli as I waited for the toaster to return my bread slices, and then I quickly spread some butter and strawberry jam on them and swallowed them in a few bites.

"Hungry?"

I looked up to find Charlie watching me with an amused look on his face. I only glared at him in response.

"Let's go."

Renée was even more overwhelming than she had been at Christmas. She started crying when she spotted us, and I wondered if she had gotten a dose of my hormones.

"I'm so glad to be here." She mumbled as she wrapped her arms loosely around me.

"Mom, I'm not made of glass." I said, squeezing her more tightly.

"I know, sweetie, I know." But her hug was still a little too careful.

I spent the ride back to Forks in silence, not having to participate in the conversation Charlie and Renée were having in the front seat. She was interrogating him, making sure everything was in order for the impending arrival. He assured her that it was, but her doubtful tone made me think she wasn't convinced.

She did approve of everything when we got to the house though. She admired the crib that Charlie had fixed up, thought the changing table was very practical, and was impressed by the good deal I had gotten on the stroller and car seat.

Charlie left Renée and me alone that night, going out to La Push to spend some time with Billy. I suspected that he had gotten an overdose of estrogen and needed to do some manly things; watch some sports or do some fishing, perhaps. Renée and I curled up on the couch – well, she did, I just tried my best to find a somewhat comfortable position – with ice cream and Thelma and Louise. Brad Pitt was a nice bonus.

"So." Renée stated after a while. "Are you ready for this?"

"I'm more than ready not to be this uncomfortable all the time." I replied. "As for the part that comes after that… I don't know. I guess we'll have to see.

"I think you're going to be an amazing mom."

I hadn't quite come to terms with the word "mom" being used about myself, but the way Renée said it sounded nice.

"I hope so." I sighed. "I mean, I've read everything. I know what to do in theory, but in practice…"

"You'll do fine." She cut me off.

"Thanks, mom. It's nice to hear." I shifted a little on the couch so I could lean my head against her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me as well as she could.

"My little girl." I heard her mumble quietly. "All growed up."

xxxxx

I didn't suspect anything when Renée dragged me out of the house for a walk after lunch the following day. I didn't have any reason to. Of course, looking back, I should have known that the way she winked at Charlie and his almost imperceptible nod in return meant that the two of them were up to no good. Maybe I was just not as observant as usual.

Either way, I was completely caught off guard when we reentered the house an hour later and were met by "SURPRISE!" shouted by several people in the living room.

"What is this?" I asked, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me. Angela came up and gave me a hug.

"A baby shower, silly." She pulled me over to the couch, sitting down next to me. Renée claimed the seat on my other side.

I felt tears rise in my eyes, and impatiently wiped them away. I should have known that Angela would pull something like this, but I honestly hadn't seen it coming. Again with the inattentiveness.

The room seemed crowded, even though there weren't that many people there. Mrs. Newton was sitting in one of the armchairs, Angela's mom in the other. Ben was next to Angela on the couch, and Mike was perched next to him on the arm rest. Charlie hovered by the wall, looking more uncomfortable than I had ever seen him before.

"I know showers are normally girls only, but I thought…" Angela trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence, but I knew what she meant. The girls at school didn't even speak to me if they could avoid it.

"It's perfect, Ang." I assured her. "Thank you so much."

"OK, presents!" She excitedly exclaimed.

I spent the next half hour opening gifts, getting even more clothes and toys, a diaper genie from Mike and his mom, and various other things.

After all the presents were opened, Renée went into the kitchen and came back with a cake. We all ate and talked until people started to leave a few hours later. Angela knew me well; she hadn't planned any "normal" baby shower games, and I was grateful.

Angela and her mom were the last to leave. I gave them both big hugs at the door.

"Thank you so much." I said again, and again, I had trouble keeping the tears at bay.

"You're welcome." Angela hugged me back tightly.

"Did you have a good time?" Renée asked anxiously as I came back into the living room.

"The best." I assured her. I saw her visibly relax, and realized she must have been worried that I wouldn't appreciate the surprise party. I couldn't blame her; normally, I hated attention of every kind, but the shower had been really nice.

"You have some pretty amazing friends." She remarked.

"I know."

xxxxx

My nerves started acting up during the week that followed. Though Doctor Jamieson had told me that most first time mothers went over the due date, I still analyzed every feeling. I had experienced some Braxton Hicks contractions over the past month or so, but Doctor Jamieson had assured me that I would know when the real thing started.

May eleventh came – and went – and still no baby.

"The doctor did say to expect this." Charlie pointed out that Friday, three days after my due date.

"I know." I grumbled, rubbing my back. "I was just hoping that I had passed on my punctuality."

"You weren't born until two weeks after the estimated due date." Renée told me, and I groaned.

"Thanks, mom, that really helps."

xxxxx

Angela eyed me suspiciously when she picked me up for school the following Monday.

"Still nothing?" She asked, unnecessarily, and I just glared at her.

The teachers gave me nervous looks all day, like they were afraid my water would break in the middle of their class. But, of course, it didn't.

Since I was technically supposed to already be on maternity leave from Newton's I headed straight home after school. Renée was there, of course. She was staying on the couch instead of at a hotel this time around, wanting to be close by.

"Did you have a good day at school?" She wondered as I slumped down next to her on the couch.

"No." I grumbled. "Everyone kept looking at me like they thought I'd pop right in front of them." I glared at her when she laughed.

"I'm sorry, honey, I know you're uncomfortable. It'll be over soon." She said in an encouraging voice, patting me on the shoulder.

"Tell her that!"

"Now you listen to me, Lily Renée Swan." Renée said, leaning over my stomach. "It's time to come out now. I know you like it in there, but I promise it will be really nice when you come out to us too, OK?"

"Thanks, mom, that ought to do the trick." I couldn't help but laugh at the serious look on her face.

There was a knock on the door, and Renée went to open.

"Hi, Angela, come on in. She's in the living room." I heard Renée say, and a moment later, Angela came into the room.

"Hey Bella, could we go upstairs? I wanted to talk to you about the prom."

The look on her face made me wonder what was going on.

"Sure." I said suspiciously, but let her help me up from the couch and followed her upstairs.

"I've been thinking…" Angela started, but hesitated, biting her lip.

"What is it?" I pressed. "Just spit it out."

"I was just thinking that maybe you could go with us on Saturday." She almost stumbled over the words in her haste to get them out

"To the prom?" I asked, bewildered. "You can't be serious!"

"I mean, don't you want to show those jerks at school that you don't care what they think?" She continued, ignoring my words completely.

"Well, of course I do, but come on." I threw my arms out in exasperation. "Me dancing is normally a safety hazard, and now…" I didn't finish the sentence; there really was no need to.

"You don't have to dance." She quickly assured me.

"Plus, are you forgetting that I'm already a week overdue?" I needlessly pointed out. "And, besides, nobody would want to go with me."

"Well, you don't really need a date." Angela said, ignoring my first point. "But I'm sure Mike will take you if you want to go."

"Mike's going with Jessica." I reminded her.

"No he's not."

This was news to me.

"What? Why?" How had I missed this?

"They broke up after school today." Angela revealed.

"They did? How come?" I thought they were doing fine. Mike hadn't mentioned that something was wrong when I had spoken to him during Math.

"I guess he just got fed up with all the mean things she's always saying about you." Angela shrugged.

"What did she say this time?" I didn't really care; I had gotten used to the just-a-little-too-loud comments that Jessica always made whenever I passed her in the hallway.

"She called you a slut." An apologetic look appeared on Angela's face.

"I've been called worse." I pointed out. Angela just shrugged again and avoided meeting my eyes. "What else did she say?"

"Nothing." But the answer came too quickly.

"Angela."

"Fine. But I did not want to tell you this." She sighed, hesitating for a moment. "She said that you got pregnant on purpose, that you wanted to trap him, but that he didn't care and that he left anyway."

I contemplated this for a moment.

"That was a new one." I heard that my voice sounded a little shaky, and, apparently, Angela noticed that too, because she squeezed my hand in a comforting way.

"You OK?" She gave me a tentative look, and I managed to give her a small smile.

"I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt, but it's just Jessica. She has no idea what she's talking about."

"That's right, don't care about what she thinks."

"I don't."

I didn't. The part that hurt was that she had managed to pinpoint one of the questions that I had asked myself more than once over the past seven months; if he had know, would it have mattered?

"So will you come with us? Please. To put Jessica in her place." Angela said, pulling my attention back to the topic at hand. Prom.

"Are you sure Mike would be OK with it?" I asked disbelievingly. Staying my friend was one thing; going to the senior prom with the school pariah was a whole other.

"Of course. I talked to him before I came over here."

"I don't have a dress." There was no way I was going to my senior prom wearing maternity pants and a t-shirt.

"I'll get you one." Angela was starting to look hopeful. "So?"

"I guess it is kind of my fault that Mike doesn't have a date."

"Yay!"

"_If_ my water doesn't break before Saturday and _if_ you find a dress that doesn't make me look like a beached whale." I stipulated my conditions.

"We're going to have so much fun!"

xxxxx

My water didn't break by prom night – and Angela found an amazing, black dress that actually made me feel pretty for the first time in months.

So, at six thirty in the evening, I found myself posing for prom pictures in our living room with Mike, Angela and Ben. As Renée swooshed around the room, taking pictures from all possible angles, I couldn't help but remember last year's prom. I closed my eyes briefly as the memories washed over me, biting my lip against the pain they caused.

"Are you OK?" Angela mumbled in my ear.

"Yeah." I opened my eyes and wiped a lonely tear from my cheek. "Just brings back memories, you know."

She didn't say anything, just squeezed my hand.

"OK, I think I'm done." Renée put the camera down. "I just hope I didn't get your shoes in any of the photos, Bella." She scowled at my feet.

I had refused wearing anything but my black Converse sneakers to the dance, despite Angela and Renée's complaints. I could barely walk as it was; there was absolutely no need to add the risk of high heels to the equation.

Eventually, we made it out of the house and into Mike's car.

"You're sure you're not doing this out of guilt?" He asked as he started the engine. "It wasn't your fault that Jess and I broke up, and I don't want you to do something you really don't want to do."

"I know, and I'm not." I gave him a teasing look. "You're sure you're not doing this out of pity?"

"Of course not." He huffed. "You'll be the prettiest girl there."

I highly doubted that.

We ended up having a really good time, to my very big surprise. Everyone stared as we walked into the gym, of course, but I only glared back at them. The four of us mostly occupied one of the tables close to the exit, but Mike talked me into dancing a couple of times. We didn't move much, just swayed to the music in place, really.

I caught Jessica looking at us, fury evident in her eyes, and I smiled at her sweetly. I noticed that she was there with Adam Bronson, a junior, and suspected that it was a last-minute solution; she would never show up at prom alone.

Austin and his date, a girl from junior year, joined our table after about an hour. I was surprised to notice that the girl, whose name was Hannah, didn't stare impolitely, and even talked directly to me. It was nice for a change.

I called it an early night, though. At eleven, I was completely exhausted; my back hurt, I could barely feel my feet, and I could tell that a head ache was coming on. But it had been worth it; I'd had a lot of fun.

Mike drove me home, despite my telling him that I would call Charlie to pick me up.

"Did you at least have a good time?" He asked when we stopped outside my house.

"I really did." I said sincerely. "Thank you."

"Thank you. I had a really good time too." He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I got out of the car.

xxxxx

The next morning, Renée was all excited about hearing everything about the prom. I obliged, giving her a detailed description of the entire night.

"Aren't you happy you decided to go?" She asked when I had finished.

"I am, actually." I swallowed the last of my cereal and got up to wash out the bowl. "I ended up having a lot of fun."

"I'm glad. Every girl should enjoy her senior prom."

I listened only with one ear as I dried the bowl. Suddenly, a sharp pain pierced my back, and I froze.

"What's wrong?" Renée was instantly at my side.

I close my eyes and bit my lip against the pain, which had extended to my stomach.

"I'm not sure, but I think I might be in labor."

**AN: I'm sorry, guys. I know a lot of you wanted**** Edward to come back before the baby was born, but this is just the way the story is playing out in my head! **


	18. 18 New Beginnings

**AN: OK guys, baby on the way! Like I've said before, I don't know anything about pregnancy or child birth, so everything is research based. Don't be too hard on me if I get something wrong! I hope you like this chapter, and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them. **

**18 – ****New Beginnings **

"Are you sure?" Renée asked, her eyes wide, continuing before I had a chance to answer. "Charlie!" This was called in the direction of the living room.

"No, I'm not sure, that's why I said 'I'm not sure'." I replied dryly.

"Did it feel like the false labor pains?"

I shook my head.

"Definitely not."

"What're you yelling about?" Charlie asked grumpily, coming into the kitchen. By the sound that was still coming from the television, we had interrupted a baseball game.

"Bella's in labor."

He just stood there for a moment, mouth slightly ajar and a vacant expression in his eyes.

"Right, I'll get the car, you go upstairs and get the bag we packed for the hospital, meet you outside in two minutes." He turned on his heel before he even finished speaking and left the room.

"Dad!" I called after him, and we heard him pause just inside the front door. "There's no need to go to the hospital right now, it'll be hours before anything happens."

"Right, I forgot." He came back into the kitchen, a sheepish look on his face. "Doctor Jamieson said to leave when the contractions were five minutes apart, right? How far apart are they now?"

"Well, I just had the first one, so I don't know yet." I snapped, immediately regretting my tone of voice. "Sorry, dad."

"It's OK, Bells, snap as much as you want." He grabbed the phone. "I'm going to call Doctor Jamieson, though, just to give her a heads up."

"Come on, baby, let's watch a movie or something." Renée put an arm around my shoulders and led me into the living room. "It won't go any faster if we just sit around and look at the clock."

She had a point, of course. Still, the idea of doing something as mundane as watching a movie at the moment felt completely wrong.

Charlie soon joined us in the living room, and we watched the television in silence – I tried to focus on the screen, but wasn't completely sure what we were watching. It could have been a comedy. Renée got a note pad, and wrote down the time each contraction started and how long they lasted. At noon, Charlie went to get take-out. The contractions were both stronger and closer together by then, but there was still no need to go to the hospital – though being close to all the good drugs was starting to feel like a very tempting idea.

When the phone rang a little after one, we all flinched.

"Hello?" Charlie answered. "Hang on, she's right here." He handed me the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Hi Bella."_ Angela's voice was cheerful.

"Hi Ang. Did you have fun after I left last night?" Had the prom been only the night before? It seemed like much more time had passed; like it had been a completely different world.

"_We did, but we left at around midnight. Someone spiked the punch, and then a couple of guys started fighting."_

"Well, I'm not sorry I missed that."

"_But you did have fun, right? You're not mad at me for forcing you to go?"_ She sounded a little anxious, so I hurried to reassure her.

"Of course I had fun, and you didn't force me. Free will and all."

"_Oh, I'm __so glad to hear that."_ Relief was evident in her voice. _"Anyway, I thought you might want to come over later, order pizza and watch a movie."_

"That might be a little difficult, Ang." I said through gritted teeth as another contraction started. I indicated to Renée, and she jotted the time down.

"_Why? Don't you… oh my God! You're having the baby!"_

"Pretty much."

"_This is so exciting! Are you going to the hospital soon?"_

"Not for a while, I think, the contractions are still about ten minutes apart." Still a long way to go till I got to five…

"_OK. Is it very painful?"_

"It's OK, kind of like really bad cramps." I relaxed as the pain ended. "But I have a feeling it'll get a lot worse before this is over."

"_Poor Bella. Call me when you're going to the hospital, OK?"_

"It could be hours, Ang, maybe not until late tonight." I tried to reason.

"_I don't care. I'm going to be there, and there's nothing yo__u can do about it!" _I knew that there was no arguing with Angela when she had that voice, and I didn't really want to, either.

"OK." I was really glad that she insisted. Even thought I knew that Charlie would be there, and Renée wouldn't leave my side, knowing that I would also have Angela to support me was very comforting.

"_Hang in there, OK?__" _She encouraged._ "I'll see you soon."_

"Bye, Ang."

"_Bye."_

Renée put another movie in the DVD as I hung up the phone, and we continued to watch the television. I had a feeling that I wasn't the only one who was unable to concentrate on the TV.

At six, the contractions were finally five minutes apart – and pretty painful – and Charlie called Doctor Jamieson again, who told us to head in to the hospital.

"I have to go to the bathroom before we leave." I said, getting up from the couch with some difficulty.

"OK, Bells. I'll go start the car." Charlie headed out the door, the bag that I had packed for the hospital in one hand.

When I pulled my pants and underwear down, I noticed that both were wet. I frowned.

"Mom?" I called through the bathroom door. "Is it possible not to notice when the water breaks?" I had thought that it was supposed to be like a gush of water, like in the movies.

"I think so, why?"

"I think it might have, my clothes are all wet."

"I'll go get you some new panties and sweats."

She opened the door a moment later and handed me the clothes. I pulled them on and we headed out of the house.

Charlie had already put the bag in the trunk and started the car. He was waiting for us in the driver's seat, impatiently tapping the steering wheel. I called Angela on my cell phone when he pulled out of the driveway.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Mrs. Weber, it's Bella. Could you tell Angela that we're on our way to the hospital now?"

"_Of course, honey, I'll tell her. Good luck!"_

Angela beat us to the hospital – she lived closer, and no matter how anxious Charlie was to get there, he didn't go over the speed limit once. Ever the police officer. Angela, Renée and I went in through the main entrance while Charlie parked the car.

"Hi, my daughter is in labor, I think Doctor Jamieson should be here somewhere?" Renée said to the woman behind the counter. For some reason, I noted that it was the same woman who had been in that spot the first time I had been to the hospital. The thought brought other memories, so I quickly averted my mind to safer grounds. Dealing with the physical pain was quite enough for the moment; no need to get the emotional side mixed in as well.

"If you'll just fill out these, I'll call her for you." The woman handed Renée a couple of papers and a pen.

Angela and I sat down on a couple of plastic chairs while Renée filled out the papers at the counter. I could hear the woman behind the desk mumble in a phone, but didn't pay attention to what she was saying.

"This is it, huh?" Angela gave me an encouraging look. "Are you freaking out yet?"

"Surprisingly, no." I still felt completely calm. "But it'll probably pass."

"You just have to keep your eyes on the price at the end of the race."

I smiled at her analogy.

Charlie entered the hospital just as a male nurse came through the double doors, pushing a wheel chair in front of him.

"Miss Swan?" He wondered, stopping in front of me.

Did he see anyone else who was extremely pregnant?

"Yep." I obediently got into the wheel chair, and he rolled me down the corridor, Charlie, Renée and Angela following us.

Doctor Jamieson met us at the end of the hallway.

"Hi, Bella." She smiled at me. "Finally, huh?"

"Finally." I agreed.

The nurse rolled me into a room, and closed the door when he left.

"You can put that on and get in the bed, and I'll do a quick exam to see what's going on down there." Doctor Jamieson indicated a hospital gown lying on the bed. "Did your water break yet?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure." I frowned. "Isn't it supposed to be like a gush of water?"

"Not necessarily. Some women don't even notice it."

Charlie didn't leave the room, but he went over to the window and turned his back on us. I put the gown on and climbed into the bed with some difficulty. I kept my attention on Angela, who was standing by the head of the bed, while Doctor Jamieson examined me.

"Well, there's definitely a baby on the way." She said when she was finished. "You're about four centimeters dilated."

"Is that good?" Angela wondered.

"Well, we need to get to ten before it's time to start pushing. The cervix normally dilates a little more than a centimeter an hour, so I would say that we still have about five or six hours to go before anything happens."

I sighed. I knew this, but had still been hoping that things would move along more quickly.

"You still want that epidural, right?" Doctor Jamieson asked, and I nodded vigorously.

"God yes." I had looked through the folders promoting "natural birth", but just didn't see the point of putting myself through unnecessary pain. Painkillers these days were very safe.

"I'll just get you hooked up here, and then I'll send the anesthesiologist in to take care of that."

A few minutes later, I was connected to several monitors surrounding the bed, and had an IV in my left arm that I tried very hard not to look at.

Doctor Jamieson left the room, and about ten minutes later, a man in his forties entered.

"Hello there, I'm Doctor Wilkins, I'll be administrating your epidural." He came over to the bed. "I need you to move onto your left side and arch your back for me. And try to remain completely still."

I turned so I was lying with my back towards him, and could feel him wipe an area of my back with something wet. I shuddered in anticipation of what was coming, but tried to remember that this was the lesser evil.

"I'll just give you a local anesthetic to numb the area before inserting the needle." He explained.

I felt a sting, and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt a hand in mine, and grasped it gratefully.

"I'm going to insert the needle now. It might hurt a little, but try not to move."

I bit my lip in anticipation of the pain, trying to focus on not moving no matter what happened, but there was only a slightly uncomfortable feeling of pressure in my lower back.

"There, all done."

"That's it?" I opened my eyes and released Renée's hand. I had expected the epidural to hurt a lot more than that.

"That's it." Doctor Wilkins smiled at me. "Doctor Jamieson will be in to check on your progress in about an hour or so." He left the room.

"How does it feel?" Angela wondered.

"Not sure yet."

A few minutes later, I had another contraction, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the previous one had been.

"I think it's working." I said, relieved.

The contractions became less and less painful after the epidural, but the pain never disappeared completely.

Doctor Jamieson came in at seven thirty to do another examination.

"Is the epidural working?" She wondered.

"I think so. I can still feel some pain, but it's much better than before."

"That's good then. Most of the time, an epidural will remove the pain completely, but any relief is good." I completely agreed with her. "Now, I might have to start you on Pitocin, that's a labor stimulant, if the epidural has caused the labor to slow."

"Is that common?" Charlie asked, a worried expression on his face.

"It happens, but it's nothing to worry about." Doctor Jamieson checked the monitors while she put on some rubber gloves. "Heart rate looks good and strong, everything seems to be OK there."

Renée took my hand again as Doctor Jamieson started the examination. When she was done, she smiled at me.

"Well, good news. The epidural doesn't seem to have affected the labor at all, and you're already at seven centimeters. This might be a lot quicker than I had anticipated."

"I like the sound of that." I returned her smile.

"I'll be back in another hour or so, but just push the button if you need me before that." She said before leaving the room.

Renée had brought a couple of magazines, and I flipped through one to pass the time. I leaned back against the pillows and closed my eyes during the contractions, trying to focus on the breathing technique we had been taught in the Lamaze class. The pain was definitely bearable.

My body continued to cooperate, and when doctor Jamieson had completed the next examination, she said that it was time to move into the delivery room, since I was almost at ten centimeters.

Charlie and Angela walked with us down to the new room, but then went back to the waiting room. Only Renée was going to be in the room with me.

I was put in a new bed, and again hooked up to a bunch of machines.

"The baby hasn't quite moved into position yet, so we'll have to give her some time." Doctor Jamieson said after another examination. "Let me know if you feel any pressure."

Twenty minutes later, there was a definite feeling of pressure. Doctor Jamieson did another examination, and gave me the thumbs up.

"All set then. At the next contraction, I want you to push."

Suddenly, I got scared.

"What if I can't do it?" I could hear the hint of hysteria in my voice, and knew that I was panicking, but I was unable to do anything about it.

"Of course you can." Doctor Jamieson encouraged. "There's a contraction coming, get ready to push."

"No, I can't. I don't want to." I gave her a pleading look.

"Bella, honey, look at me." Renée forced me to make eye contact with her. "You can do this. You're strong. Do you hear me?"

I nodded, but was far from convinced. But I did as Doctor Jamieson said, and pushed when I felt the next contraction. The pressure became almost overwhelming, and I had to struggle not to give up.

"That's good, Bella, you can relax now."

I fell back against the pillows, but almost before I had a chance to catch my breath, there was another contraction. Only the intense want of the birth to be over as soon as possible made me keep pushing during the contractions.

"You're doing a great job, Bella. I can see the head." Doctor Jamieson's words fifteen minutes later encouraged me, and I pushed even harder on the next contraction.

A burning sensation overwhelmed me, and I couldn't keep going.

"It hurts!"

"I know, sweetie, but you have to keep pushing." Renée insisted.

"The head is crowning, that's why it hurts. You have to keep pushing through the pain, it'll go away."

I didn't know if Doctor Jamieson was just saying that so I wouldn't stop pushing, but I did as she said. And the burning feeling did disappear.

"Good, Bella, the head's completely out now. Just give me a little push for the shoulders, and she'll be here soon."

I complied, and finally, the pressure was gone. I slumped back against the pillows as a piercing cry filled the room.

"It's a girl." I heard Doctor Jamieson say from somewhere far, far away. The walls started to move, the whole room spinning.

I wanted to ask to see her, to hold her, but before I could get a word out, everything went black.

xxxxx

When I opened my eyes, I was momentarily disoriented. The room wasn't familiar in any way; light blue walls, white ceiling, green curtains around a dark window. My mind vaguely registered that it must be the middle of the night.

"You're awake, honey." Charlie's rough voice came from a chair next to my bed. I looked over to see him leaning against the side of the bed, a tired and very concerned expression on his face.

"What happened?" Bits and pieces of the day were starting to come back to me, but I couldn't quite get them to make sense. My mind seemed to be working to slow.

"I'm not sure, I didn't understand much of the medical mumbo-jumbo they were going on about, but you lost a lot of blood and they had to operate to stop it." He leaned closer to the bed and took my hand in his.

I registered that my left hand – the one Charlie wasn't holding – had an IV in it, and that I had some sort of plastic tube under my nose. I also noted that, in addition to the soreness I had been expecting, there was a burning sensation across my lower abdomen.

"You've been unconscious for almost five hours, we were really worried." I calculated that it must be around three in the morning – no wonder Charlie looked exhausted, he couldn't have been able to sleep in the uncomfortable looking chair he was sitting in.

The most important thing in the world suddenly occurred to me, and my eyes searched the room for my daughter.

"Where is she? Why did they take her? Is she OK?" Panic was creeping up on me.

"Shh, don't worry, she's just fine." Charlie quickly assured me. "They just took her to the nursery until you woke up."

"I want her." I felt a physical need to see her, to hold her in my arms, because she wouldn't be real to me until I had.

"I'll call the nurse." He reached out and pressed a button behind my head.

A few minutes later, a plump woman in her fifties came into the room. A smile spread on her face when she saw me.

"Oh, wonderful, you're awake! I'll let Doctor Jamieson know, she's been quite worried about you." She made the last part sound almost like an accusation.

"Could you bring the baby here?" Charlie asked. "Bella wants to see her."

"Of course." She smiled again and left the room.

"Where are mom and Angela?" I wondered when the door had swung shut behind the nurse.

"I managed to convince them to go home and get some sleep at midnight." Charlie replied. "They both put up a fight, though, and it took Doctor Jamieson assuring them that you were in no danger whatsoever to even get them to leave the room."

"I'm sorry I scared you." I said quietly.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"You just focus on getting better and taking good care of that little girl of yours." He patted my hand on top of the covers.

"What does she look like?"

"Absolutely beautiful." He practically beamed. "Even prettier than you were."

"How big was she?"

"Twenty inches and seven pounds, five ounces. Born at nine forty seven P.M. on Sunday the twenty-third of May, 2004."

At that moment, the door opened and the nurse came into the room, pushing a bassinette in front of her.

"Here we go." She put the bassinette next to the bed and carefully picked up the tiny baby in it, placing her in my arms. I didn't notice when the nurse left the room, I was completely wrapped up in the tiny person in front of me.

Her eyes were closed, the lids almost transparent. Her tiny hands were balled up and her mouth formed a small, perfect O. I stroked her soft, bronze colored hair, and felt tears in my eyes. The exact same color.

"She's so tiny." I whispered, not wanting to wake her up.

"She'll get bigger before you know it." Charlie replied. "I'll go call your mother; she'll want to know that you're finally awake."

I was grateful that he left us alone for a moment.

"Hi Lily." I whispered. "It's mom. How are you liking the world so far? It's not too bad, is it? I'm sorry I couldn't be there to greet you, but I'm here now. And I'll never, ever leave you. No matter what, I'll always be there to look out for you, even when you think I'm embarrassing you."

She opened her eyes, and I could see that they were a deep blue. Like all babies'. Somehow, I had still expected startling green. They would change, though. Whether to green or brown, only time would tell.

xxxxx

At about six in the morning, Lily started making small, whiny sounds. I shook Charlie's shoulder – he had somehow managed to fall asleep in the chair next to my bed.

"What's wrong?" He startled awake.

"I don't know. Maybe she's hungry?" I assumed that they must have fed her in the nursery, but that was hours ago.

"I'll go get a nurse." Charlie left the room, returning a few minutes later with the same nurse that had brought Lily from the nursery.

"Ah, she's awake. And hungry, I would think. I fed her just before bringing her here, so she should be about ready to eat again." She picked up Lily from the bassinette. "Do you want to try to breastfeed her?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"OK then."

She helped me to get Lily in the proper position, and, to my surprise, she immediately latched on and started sucking. I had thought that since she had been fed by the nurses, it might be difficult to get her to take the breast at first.

"She's got the hang of it, doesn't she?" The nurse noted with a smile.

"I thought it might be hard at first, since she's not used to it." I mumbled.

"Some babies have trouble, others seem to just know what they're supposed to do right from the start."

xxxxx

Angela stopped by on her way to school later that morning.

"I was so worried." She mumbled, hugging me tightly.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Will you stop apologizing?" Renée said in an irritated voice from where she was sitting with Lily in her arms by the window. She had arrived at seven, and Charlie had left a little later to go to work. "It was not your fault."

I just rolled my eyes when she focused her attention back on the baby in her arms.

"I have to go, but I'll stop by after school." Angela promised. "I'm sure Mike and Ben will tag along, too."

"I'll see you later."

Doctor Jamieson dropped in shortly after Angela had left.

"I'm so glad that you're feeling better." She said after checking my chart. "You gave us all quite a scare."

"I am feeling much better." I was tired and very sore, but extremely happy.

"I want to keep you here for at least a couple of more days, to make sure that there are no complications from the surgery." She checked the incision on my stomach. "I hope that's OK."

"Of course." I was looking forward to going home, but didn't want to jump the gun – no need to take any unnecessary risks.

"And Lily seems to be doing just fine too." She went over to where Renée was sitting and stroked Lily's tiny fist with her index finger. "It really suits her."

"It does, doesn't it?" I agreed.

"She has a very interesting hair color." Doctor Jamieson noted.

"I know." I replied, feeling a knot in my stomach. I prayed that she would drop the subject.

"Well, I have to get back to my other patients. I just wanted to check in on the two of you." She smiled at me before leaving the room, and I let out a sigh of relief.

When Angela and Mike arrived later in the afternoon – Ben couldn't make it – I sent Renée home to get something to eat and take a shower, forbidding her to return before at least eight. She had insisted on sleeping at the hospital with me, and the kind nurses had promised to bring in a bed for her. Charlie was stopping by after work, and I was sure that at least Angela would hang around until he showed up.

"Hi." Angela greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, Mike lingering behind her. She put down a large teddy bear in the chair next to the bed.

"You didn't have to bring anything, you've already given me way too much stuff." I objected.

"Well, it's not for you, is it?" Angela countered. "Can I hold her?" An expectant smile appeared on her face as she reached her arms out for Lily.

"Of course." I carefully shifted Lily to Angela's waiting arms.

"Hello there, gorgeous. Have you been nice to your mom today? She had a rough day yesterday, and you need to be extra nice to her, OK?"

"Hey Bella." Mike moved the stuffed bear to the foot of the bed and sat down in the chair. "How're you feeling?"

"Well, I've never actually been run over by a car, but I think it might feel a bit like this." We both laughed a little. "But she's totally worth it."

"She's really cute."

"Thanks." Though I didn't think "cute" really covered it.

"When are they letting you out of this place, then?"

"I'm not sure." I frowned. "Not for a couple of days, I think. Doctor Jamieson said that they want to keep an eye on me."

"Right, Angela mentioned that there was some sort of complication." He got a concerned look on his face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Mike. Honestly. They gave me a bunch of blood transfusions, and my vitals are practically back to normal."

"Good. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Shouldn't you guys be studying for finals?" I suddenly remembered.

"It can wait." Angela said from over by the window. "I'm showing my niece her new home, if you haven't noticed."

I laughed quietly.

"I think you might have found a baby sitter for the next eighteen years or so." Mike remarked, amused.

"I'll be counting on that, Ang."

"No problem." Angela happily agreed. "You can hang out with me whenever you want, OK honey? I'm your really cool aunt Angela and I'll teach you about all the stuff your mom won't talk about, like boys and…"

"Hey." I interrupted her. "Can you save that conversation for fifteen years or so?" I did not want to think about that right now – or for a very, very long time. In fact, I would very much prefer not ever having to think about it, impossible as that might be.

"Optimist."

When Charlie got there at six, Angela and Mike grudgingly left to get some studying done – after I had threatened to never let them come back if they failed their finals. Some of us were still going to college in the fall, after all.

I was surprised at how comfortable Charlie looked, sitting in the chair by the bed with Lily in his arms. He seemed to notice the somewhat surprised look on my face.

"You were this little once, too, remember?" He pointed out, only a little sarcastically. "I haven't forgotten everything."

"I know." I nodded. "It just looks a little odd, somehow."

"I guess I can say the same for seeing you with her. But it seems completely right at the same time."

I knew the feeling he was talking about. Though I had felt an instant connection with Lily the moment the nurse had placed her in my arms, there was this tiny part of me that refused to accept that this amazing, perfect little person could possibly be mine. But she was.

When Charlie had gone home later that night, and Renée was sound asleep in the bed that had been brought in for her, I slipped quietly out of mine. I winced a little at the pain the movement caused, but ignored it. I picked up Lily, who was asleep in the bassinette – carefully so as not to wake her – and climbed back into the bed.

I stroked her tiny palm, and her little hand closed around my pinkie. The nurse had told me that this was an automatic reflex, so I didn't worry that I had accidentally woken her up.

I watched as her tiny chest rose and fall with her breathing, and a feeling of absolute calm washed over me. The fear I had occasionally felt before she was born, that I wouldn't be able to be the mother I wanted to be, was completely gone. I would mess up, of course, but we would survive. I had my parents and some very good friends who would always be there whenever either of us needed anything. We would be fine.

And I realized that the hole in my chest was gone. I could still feel the edges where my insides had been stitched back together, but the hollow feeling I hadn't been able to fully escape for the past nine months was gone. I inhaled deeply, and discovered that I could breathe freely again, without the tightening in my chest.

What time hadn't been able to do, my beautiful little girl had accomplished in an instant. She had put me back together. I would probably always be damaged to a certain extent – like they said, first love isn't something you just get over, and certainly not one as intense as ours had been – but I wasn't broken any more. The edges would fade with time, just like the scar on my stomach.

I looked into the angelic face of my daughter, and I saw the future.

"I hope you never have to know what it's like when your heart breaks."

**AN: The last sentence is a line from a song called **_**Anna**_** by Swedish band Hello Saferide - I have to promote some Swedish music!**


	19. 19 New Experiences and Old Friends

**AN: ****You guys are the best – more than 100 reviews and almost 10 000 hits! Thank you, thank you, thank you! OK, from now on I will be writing from several different views. I hope this will not be too confusing – I'm trying to keep it very clear whose perspective is being used.**

**Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. **

**19 – ****New Experiences and Old Friends**

_Five years later__, Seattle_

**Bella**

After I had put Lily to bed the night of September eighth, I sat down on the worn down – but comfortable – couch in our tiny living room and flipped through my photo albums. Going through the memories we had created over the five years since Lily had been born was my very favorite pastime, and it usually calmed my nerves. Which was exactly what I needed at the moment. I started with the album that covered Lily's first six months and moved forward.

We were released from the hospital a couple of days after Lily was born, and I remember what a relief it had been when I finally walked through the door at home. Not that the nurses and doctors at the hospital hadn't been sweet and very helpful, but it was just nice to finally get to stand on my own two feet. With a little help from my parents, of course. Renée stayed in Forks the entire summer, and Phil came up and joined her for a couple of weeks in July. I told her that she didn't have to stay, but was secretly glad that she ignored me. There were so many new things to think about, and having her there really helped me settle into a routine.

I took the finals when Lily was a month old, and got pretty good grades despite the fact that I hadn't put much time or energy into studying – I had other priorities. My diploma arrived in the mail a few weeks later, and Charlie insisted on framing it and hanging it up in the living room. I let him have his fun.

When Renée had gone back to Florida, and Angela, Ben and Mike left for college – Angela and Ben for Seattle, Mike for Los Angeles – I went back to work at Newton's. Lily was a little over three months old then, and was watched by our next door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, who was in her late sixties and retired, and had jumped at the opportunity. I only worked for five hours a day in the beginning, but after New Years, I started working full time.

The first time I left Lily at Mrs. Brown's, I cried all the way to the store, barely able to see the road. Mrs. Newton took one look at me and wrapped me in her arms, mumbling comforting words in my ear. I pulled myself together – it wasn't like I hadn't been away from Lily before that – and got through the day. It got easier after that.

Like Charlie had said, Lily got bigger before I even knew what was happening. I had bought a photo album and was determined to document all the firsts that would be happening over the years following her birth, but I still felt like everything was happening too fast. Her first smile (at five weeks), the first time she rolled over (at four months), the first time she held her head up (at five months), the first time she sat by herself (a week later), her first attempt at crawling (at seven months), her first tooth (at approximately the same time), her first step (at eleven months), her first birthday, her first word (mama, at thirteen months). Charlie even got a video camera, and filmed just about everything. He has hours and hours of rather boring film of Lily doing absolutely nothing, filming in anticipation of some milestone that was possibly approaching. He did manage to capture most big events, so his tactic did pay off.

I got accepted to Seattle University when Lily was ten months old and quickly applied for single-parent financial support, which I was granted. At the end of August that year, Charlie helped move me and Lily into one of the small, furnished apartments on campus that was reserved for single parents and families. There was even a daycare center financed by the university, which was free for children of students at the school.

Charlie encouraged me to get in touch with his friend Billy's son Jacob. He was a year younger than me and was enrolling at Seattle U at the same time as I was. I had vague memories of him and his older sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, from my summers in Forks, but didn't see why I had to reconnect with someone I barely knew just because our fathers were friends. So I grumbled. But when Charlie pointed out that Jacob was just as lost in Seattle as I had been on my first day in Forks, I felt bad and ended up calling him anyway.

Jacob and I met up for orientation day, and he turned out to be really nice. We got along great, and when he asked me out a week later, I said yes. I hadn't been on a date since I went with Mike to the prom the night before Lily had been born, and thought it would be nice to get out. Jacob and I quickly found out that we had a lot in common and could talk about pretty much everything – however, we also realized that there were no romantic feelings between us whatsoever. I gained an amazing friend from it, though.

Having Angela and Ben in Seattle was great. They showed me and Jacob the ropes around school, and introduced us to their new friends. Angela and I established a standing girls' night out every month, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with some other girls, and Jacob and Ben happily watched Lily that night. We all went back to Forks together over the holidays, and helped keep each other sane during the long summers in the tiny town.

Lily was at the school's daycare center from seven thirty to five every day, and on Tuesdays and Fridays, when I didn't have classes in the afternoon, I managed to find a job in a coffee shop on campus. The financial aid I was getting from the school covered tuition and part of the rent, and I got some help from both Charlie and Renée and Phil, but I still didn't have much money left when the bills were paid. The extra income made it possible to get some new clothes for Lily every now and then, and once in a blue moon I treated myself to a new book or CD.

Money was definitely tight, but I don't remember ever wishing I had done anything different. I could never regret keeping Lily; she was my entire world, the reason I even got up in the morning. It was hard to imagine what my life might have looked like if I didn't have her.

Ben and Angela stayed together through college, and when they graduated they simply moved from their dorm rooms to an apartment in the West Woodland area of Seattle. Ben immediately got a great job at some computer company; I never understood exactly what it was that he did, the technical jargon was incomprehensible to me. Angela moved from one odd job to another before she got hired by a publishing company, illustrating children's books – a job that was perfect for her and that she absolutely loved.

I ended up majoring in marketing and when Jacob and I graduated a year after Angela and Ben, I was quickly offered an amazing job at a local advertising agency. I found an apartment just a few blocks from Angela and Ben's place, and though I had to get most of the furniture second hand, it was still _my_ place, the first apartment I could ever really call my own. Jacob got a job at the Y, working with troubled kids, which suited him well, and shared an apartment across town with a friend.

I was happy when Charlie had told me that he was seeing Sue Clearwater two years earlier. She had been married to one of his closest friends, Harry, who had died just before I had moved to Seattle. She and her son Seth had moved into the house a year and a half earlier, her daughter Leah having gone away to college in Boston, and it was nice to know that Charlie wasn't completely alone when I wasn't there to take care of him.

I went on the occasional date during the four years at Seattle U. After a while, I realized that there were really only three types of guys; the ones who quickly made up some lame excuse about forgetting that they had to be somewhere or having to study for a test when I told them that I had a kid, the ones who pretended to be fine with it only to never call again, and the ones who actually were OK with it. There were really only two guys in the last group; Adam and Will, and I managed to push both of them away after a couple of months.

I blamed them; they weren't mature enough, not able to handle the responsibility, didn't really care about Lily. But somewhere deep down, I knew the truth. I just didn't want to risk opening up to someone again, only to be let down. I'd already had my heart broken once, and I wasn't sure I could survive a repeat of that. Angela called me on it when Will disappeared from the picture in my junior year.

"And what was wrong with him? I thought he was just about perfect." She gave me an accusing look.

"It just didn't work out." I replied, shrugging.

"Honey, come on. We both know what this is really about."

I raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to bring it up. We hadn't really talked about _that_, other than what I had told her a few months before Lily had been born. It was off limits.

"You have to get over him at some point, you know." She continued in a soft voice, and I looked away.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said stubbornly, not able to meet her eyes.

"Don't you?"

I snapped out of my musings and closed the photo album in front of me when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey sweetie."_

"Hi Ang." I quietly opened the door to Lily's room to make sure that the sound of the phone hadn't woken her up. She was sound asleep, curled into a ball under the covers with her thumb in her mouth. She only did that when she was anxious about something.

"_Is the little princess asleep yet?"_ I closed the door and returned to the living room.

"Yeah, but it took two stories." I said, sighing at the memory. Lily was usually out like a light before I even got through the first bedtime story she picked.

"_She's just a little nervous. Big day tomorrow." _Angela reminded me, quite unnecessary.

"I know. She's been so excited these past couple of weeks, but now I'm starting to wonder if this might not be the greatest idea." I slumped down on the couch and put my feet up on the table. It felt nice to voice my concerns to Angela; she always knew what to do.

"_She'll be fine.__" _She now assured me._ "Isn't it better that she gets to go with her best friend now, than all alone next year?"_

"I guess."

That was really the only reason I had agreed when one of Lily's pre-school teacher had suggested that she start first grade a year early; so that she would have the company of Caitlin, her best friend, who was a year older. I knew that the teachers were right when they said that Lily was very mature for a five-year-old, but it still scared the crap out of me to picture my little girl in a big, scary school with a bunch of older kids.

"_She'll be fine."_ Angela assured me again, sensing my thoughts.

"I know she will." I did, honestly. Being nervous was a part of starting school, after all. "I'm more worried about myself." I admitted.

"_You can't protect her from the big, bad world forever, you know.__ At some point you'll just have to let her out there to experience it." _Why did she have to be so rational about it?

"I was hoping to keep that off for at least a little longer. She's just five."

"_She can handle it."_

I knew that, too. It was just hard to accept that she no longer needed me for everything. I found myself missing the baby years, when she had been completely dependent on me.

"She's just growing up so fast. What the heck happened to the last five years?"

"_You're asking me? I still have to fight the urge to call my parents and tell them where I am every night."_ She laughed.

"I know." Every time someone asked how old I, or Lily, was, I had to think twice before answering. "Time does fly."

"_It __sure does."_ Angela agreed. _"I have to go now, I just wanted to check in, make sure everything was OK for tomorrow. And promise me that you will call me if it gets to be too much tomorrow? I'll just be working at home as always."_

"Thanks, I appreciate it. Donna's going with us, though, so I should be fine." Donna was Caitlin's mom. "She's done this before."

"_Still. I'm just a phone call away__ if you need me."_

"I know."

xxxxx

"Mommy, my tummy hurts." Lily said as she crawled up in my lap the next morning.

"It does? Is it just butterflies or something bigger?"

"Bigger." She tucked her head under my chin, and I rubbed her back in soothing motions.

"Sparrows? Pigeons? Or eagles?"

"Eagles."

"Oh, my." I had to remind myself not to let her see that I, too, was nervous. It would only make her more anxious.

"What if they don't like me?" She said in a small voice, and my heart broke a little. What was I supposed to say to that?

"Well, honey, not everyone you meet will. And you won't like all of them either, that's just the way it is." I had promised myself when she was just a few days old that I would never, ever lie to her. "But you'll also meet people who will be your friends, just like Catie."

"Really?" I could clearly hear the hesitation in her voice.

"Really." I decided to try some reverse psychology – that usually worked. "Of course, if you really don't want to go, you don't have to. You can wait until next year."

"But Catie won't be there if I go next year." She concluded.

That was exactly what I was getting at.

"No, she won't."

"I want to go with Catie."

"Then I suggest that you go and get dressed, and I will make you some waffles, how does that sound?" She usually only got waffles for breakfast on weekends, but I thought an exception from the rule was in order.

"OK." She jumped down on the floor and bounced out of the kitchen, the anxiety at least temporarily forgotten. I wished I could calm down my own nerves as effectively.

Half an hour later, Lily had finished her breakfast and brushed her teeth. I helped her put on the new backpack we had gotten for school; it was pink, with Disney princesses on it. We left the apartment, got into the Accord and drove off to the school that was only a few blocks away.

"There you are." Donna greeted us when we walked onto the school yard a couple of minutes later.

"Sorry, we got a case of the butterflies." I replied. Lily ran over to Caitlin, who was sitting on a swing a few feet away.

"We had a visit from those last night." Donna nodded in understanding. "Of course, Cole telling Catie that they make you stand in front of the whole school and count to a hundred didn't exactly help." She added quietly, so the girls wouldn't hear. Cole, who was ten, was Caitlin's older brother.

"Lily was afraid that the other kids wouldn't like her."

"Aw, what do you say to that?" Donna grimaced.

"Well, she really didn't want to go without Catie next year, so that pretty much settled it."

"They're really inseparable, aren't they?" She turned to look at our daughters, who were laughing on the swings. I followed her gaze and smiled.

"They sure are."

Lily and Caitlin had found each other already on Lily's first day at the daycare center four years earlier. Catie was born in December, so she was technically only five months older than Lily. I remember how Donna had come up to me that first afternoon when I came to pick Lily up, and told me that our daughters had spent the entire day playing together. Donna was taking evening classes at the university, and had quickly become my rock when it came to parenting advice, and despite an age difference of twelve years, I considered us friends.

It had been a big bonus that Donna and her kids lived in the same area as Angela and Ben, so that when Lily and I moved to our new apartment, the girls could move from the university daycare center to the one in our new neighborhood at the same time. And now they would be going to school together.

"Well, I checked around a little while we were waiting for you, and we're going to classroom five." Donna said, pointing at a building behind the swings.

"OK. And you're really OK to pick them up at noon? Because Angela can come and get Lily, it's not a problem." The first day was only a half day, and Donna had taken time off from work to pick the girls up.

"Don't be silly, we've already talked about this. We'll take turns on half days and holidays." Donna was a single mom too, and knew how important not losing a days worth of pay could be.

"I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

"Something tells me that you'd manage." She checked her watch. "We'd better get going."

We got the girls off the swings and headed into the school building.

"Let's see, room five…" Donna scanned the corridor. "There it is."

We stopped in front of the closed door, and Lily took my hand. I squeezed it to assure her everything was fine. Then I saw the sign on the door.

_Ms. Cullen's classroom_

My heart skipped a beat and my breathing accelerated as I tried to think logically. It wasn't a common name, but the possibility that it was actually _her_ had to be less than slim. Microscopic. I managed to get my breathing under control, but my heart was still racing when Donna opened the door.

"Welcome, come on in." Her attention was focused on Lily and Caitlin, so I could take in her appearance. She looked the same; her hair was longer, and not in the trademark spikes anymore, but other than that she could have stepped directly out of my memory. "I'm Ms. Cullen, but you can call me Miss Alice if you want." She winked at them. "And you must be… Bella?" Her eyes went wide when she saw me standing behind Lily.

This was not happening.

I avoided her stunned eyes, and crouched down so that I was on eyelevel with Lily.

"I have to go now, baby, but Donna will stay with you for a while and pick you up after school, OK?" I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"OK." Lily's brown eyes were big, but she didn't look frightened.

"I love you." I gave her a tight hug.

"Love you too, mommy."

"I'll pick her up as soon as I get off from work." I told Donna, who gave me an odd look.

I left the room without another glance at Alice, and hurried to my car.

What the hell was she doing here? In Seattle? In Lily's school, for Christ's sake! Really, what were the odds of that?

I started the car and drove to the office in a daze, earning more than one annoyed honk from fellow drivers and quite a few fingers. When I pulled in to my usual spot in the parking lot, I didn't turn the engine off; instead I inserted a CD in the stereo and leaned my head back against the seat, closing my eyes.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
__When you get what you want but not what you need  
__When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

I listened to the song several times, but Chris Martin's voice didn't calm me like it normally did.

I had absolutely no idea what to do.

_Lights will guide you home  
__And ignite your bones  
__And I will try  
__To fix you_

**Alice**

I smiled instinctively at the two little girls who appeared in the doorway to my classroom when the door opened. Greeting the new first graders was my absolute favorite part of the job. Not that I didn't love everything else about it, too, but meeting the new kids for the first time was special. You only get to do the first-day-of-school day once, and it was my job to make that day special for every child in my class.

"Welcome, come on in. I'm Ms. Cullen, but you can call me Miss Alice if you want." They both looked a little nervous, so I winked at them, getting two tentative smiles in return. I turned my attention to the two women behind the girls. "And you must be… Bella?"

To say that I had not expected to see her there was an understatement, to say the least, and from the look on her face, the shock was mutual. I tried to grasp the situation, my eyes darting between Bella and the two girls. One of them had blonde, curly hair, blue eyes and a heart shaped face. The other had big, brown eyes, bronze colored hair that reached halfway down her back and a face so familiar I was surprised I hadn't immediately registered it.

What the…

"I have to go now, baby, but Donna will stay with you for a while and pick you up after school, OK?"

I noticed that the blond woman next to Bella had placed her hand on the curly haired girl's shoulder, and Bella was crouching down in front of the other girl.

"OK."

"I love you." She hugged the little girl tightly.

"Love you too, mommy."

"I'll pick her up as soon as I get off from work."

Before I had a chance to react, Bella had rushed from the room, and I stared in shock after her.

"Why don't you go sit down over there, with Ryan and Millie?" I said, pulling myself together and pointing to a table across the room where two children were already sitting. The little blond girl looked up at the woman, who I assumed was her mother, and, after an assuring nod, took the other girl's hand and pulled her along to the table.

"What was that about?" The blond woman asked quietly when the girls had sat down at the table. There was an almost protective edge to her voice. "Do you know Bella?"

"I used to." I thought back to the last time I had seen her, the day before we had left. "I lived in Forks a couple of years ago."

"That's where Bella and Lily lived before they moved here, right?"

"I suppose so. I haven't seen her in years."

Lily Swan. I had seen the name on the roster, of course, but hadn't reflected on it. It was a common enough name. No reason to suspect a connection.

"Bella doesn't talk much about that time." The blonde had a slightly concerned look on her face. "I take it you didn't know she'd had Lily then?"

"No." I shook my head. Definitely not. "We didn't keep in touch after I moved away, unfortunately."

"I guessed as much. Were you good friends?"

"At one point. We were practically family." In more ways than one.

"I see. Well, I need to get going, but I will pick the girls up after school."

She went over to say goodbye to her daughter, and got a hug from both girls. I returned to my desk, getting the class roster. I ran a finger down the names until I got to Lily Swan. Born May twenty-third 2004. She was a year younger than the other students.

I calculated in my head, and wasn't surprised when the dates added up.

There was really no doubt in my mind that that little girl was my niece.

**Bella**

My co-workers asked me if I was OK more than once that day. "I'm fine" became an automatic response whenever anyone addressed me, so when my boss stopped in front of my desk at two in the afternoon, it was what I told her without really registering what she had asked me.

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to leave a little early, but I'm glad to hear that you're fine." She gave me an appraising look. "Though I'm not sure I actually believe it."

"I'm just a little anxious." I hoped that she would draw the natural conclusion, and was relieved when she did.

"Of course. First day of school, I remember." She had children of her own, and had always been very understanding when it came to Lily being my first priority. "Well, since I'm sure you've already finished the presentation for Friday, why don't you head home? Hear all about Lily's first day. I'll bet she's just bursting to tell you all about it."

I was done with the presentation, and Lily would be ecstatic if I picked her up from Donna's this early.

"Thanks, Michelle. I really appreciate it." I grabbed my bag from under the desk.

"Don't mention it. Just make me proud on Friday." She waved her hand in the air in a disregarding motion, and I hurried out of the office.

Before I could pick up Lily, however, I had to make a pit-stop. Get my head in order.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" Angela frowned, but stepped aside so I could come in.

"I need some mental coaching." I sunk down on the couch in the living room and buried my face in my hands. She took a seat in an armchair across from me.

"What happened?" She wondered when I still hadn't said anything after a few minutes.

"I saw Alice today." I said, my voice muffled by my hands.

"Alice? _Alice_? Are you talking about the Alice I think you are?"

"How many Alices do we know?" I sighed and looked up at her.

"Good point." She was quiet for a moment. "Wow."

"She's Lily's teacher."

"What is she even doing here?" Angela wondered the same thing that I had been asking myself all day. I still hadn't figured out a good answer.

"Apparently teaching first grade." I said dryly. "I didn't exactly stick around to ask."

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?"

"Is there any way she won't figure it out?"

I looked at her in disbelief.

"Have you _seen_ my daughter? The only thing she got from me is the color of her eyes. Alice isn't stupid, there's no way she won't know."

"I know, I know." She was silent for a moment. "OK, I get that you're freaking out right now. But is this necessarily a bad thing?"

I buried my face in my hands again.

"I don't know." I couldn't even think straight, let alone evaluate the situation objectively.

"So he'll find out. That could be good, right? For Lily." Angela reasoned.

"Or it could be a complete disaster. What if he…" I couldn't complete the sentence, the words just wouldn't come out.

"I think you'll just have to risk it."

"_I'm_ not the one risking anything! _I_ can handle it; it's my five year old daughter that I'm worried about!" I knew Angela didn't deserve being yelled at, but I couldn't help myself.

"I know." She got up from the armchair and sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I just can't put her through that."

xxxxx

Lily was bubbling all afternoon about how much fun she'd had at school.

"We drew pictures, and we looked at the letters, and Miss Alice gave everyone who could spell their name a gold star, and I got one, and Catie too!"

I had started teaching Lily to tell letters apart over the summer, after it had been decided that she would start school a year early. She could already write her name and a couple of simple words, and read a little.

"That's great, baby." I tried to divide my attention between her description of her first day and chopping up vegetables for dinner – preferably without cutting any fingers off – while my mind insisted on wandering away.

"Miss Alice is really, really nice."

"She is? That's great." I got plates, cutlery and glasses from the cupboards and drawers and set the table. Lily was lying on her stomach on the floor, drawing in one of her coloring books.

"Uh-huh. And Catie and I played with Millie and Alicia on the break, and they're really nice too."

"See? I told you you'd make friends, didn't I? Come on, dinner's ready."

She continued to give me a detailed description of her day in school while we ate, saying over and over how much she liked Miss Alice, how nice her new teacher was. I knew I should be happy about that, but a part of me just couldn't. Worry of what might happen kept me too occupied to do more than listen as she chattered excitedly and express the proper emotions at the right time. Luckily, she was too excited to notice that I wasn't completely paying attention.

After dinner, Caitlin came over and the girls went into Lily's room to play.

I had just finished the dishes when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my watch as I walked into the hallway, but it was too early for Donna to be picking Catie up yet.

I opened the door and froze when I saw the person on the other side.

"Hi Bella."

**AN: ****I know that you want Edward to come back. Well, I sort of pulled a "New Moon" on you – you get Alice first! Let me know if you want more… there might be some more reappearances in the next chapter… **

**The song in this chapter is **_**Fix You**_** by Coldplay from the album **_**X & Y**_**. Another one from my "Greatest songs ever" list.**


	20. 20 Confrontations and Explanations

**AN: Wow, great response on**** the last chapter – maybe I should do cliffies more often (just kidding)! Anyway, moving on with the story… I hope you like the chapter, let me know!**

**Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything… **

**20 – ****Confrontations and Explanations**

**Bella**

"Alice." I couldn't say that I was surprised to see her, but I had hoped that I would have at least a little more time to prepare myself for this conversation.

"Can I come in?" She raised her eyebrows at me, and I realized that I was blocking the door.

I couldn't very well ask her to come back later, when I'd had a chance to think through what I would say to her, so I sighed.

"Sure, come on in."

I stepped aside and she glided past me into the apartment.

"I suppose you understand why I'm here." There was an edge to her voice that I didn't recognize.

"Do you mind if we sit in the kitchen?" I didn't want Lily and Caitlin to accidentally overhear us talking. I was pretty sure that they were busy playing and wouldn't notice anything short of an earthquake, but I didn't want to take any chances.

Alice followed me into the kitchen and accepted the chair I gestured at. I sat down across the table from her and braced myself for the accusations.

"How could you not say anything?" She spoke quietly, though I could tell that she really wanted to yell at me; fury was evident in her eyes. "How the hell could you not tell him?"

"First of all, Alice, I didn't even know myself until after… you left." I winced a little at the memories.

"Haven't heard of phones? I hear they're the latest fad." The sarcasm in her voice made me snap.

"You know what, Alice? You have absolutely no idea what I went through back then, so don't you dare judge me!" I could feel anger building inside me. "I did call. But I guess you decided to really move on, huh? Because all I got was a mechanical voice telling me that the numbers had been disconnected. And since I didn't know where you were…"

"What?" She interrupted me, a confused look replacing the angry one on her face.

"Where did you move when you left Forks? I still have no idea. Have you been in Seattle this whole time?"

"No, I just moved back last year." For some reason, I noticed that she said _I_ and not _we_. "We moved to New York. Are you saying that he didn't tell you?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying." I shrugged. "I guess it was partly my fault. I got really mad when he told me that you were leaving that same day. I guess I didn't exactly give him a chance to explain anything." I had gotten to the point where I could view what had happened that day from a somewhat objective perspective, even if thinking about it still hurt.

"I told him that he should talk to you the moment Carlisle told us we were moving." She muttered, more to herself than to me. "But would he listen to me? No! I wanted to tell you myself, but he made me promise that I wouldn't, and since I thought you should hear it from him in the first place, I didn't. And as for the disconnected part, would you believe me if I told you that we were mugged?"

She had such a sheepish look on her face that I couldn't help but trust her.

"The first day at the new school, I borrowed Edward's phone for some reason, I don't remember why, and then I put it in my bag where I kept my own phone. On our way home, a guy grabbed my bag and took off with it."

Hearing his name for the first time in so many years made me inhale sharply, and I was sure she noticed, even if she didn't say anything.

"That doesn't change the fact that I couldn't reach either of you. I even called information to get Rosalie's number in Seattle, only there wasn't one." I gave her an accusing look.

"She transferred to Pratt in Brooklyn, and Emmett and Jasper decided to go to NYU instead of Seattle U when we moved." Alice explained.

"That's pretty much what I figured." I sighed. The anger I had felt a moment earlier had disappeared, and all I was left with was an almost overwhelming feeling of sadness at the impossibility of the situation.

"I called you, you know." She said softly after a moment.

"I know." I nodded. I remembered the phone call I had overheard a part of during my very own personal hell.

"Charlie said that you weren't… doing so good." I could tell that she picked her words carefully. "And I thought that it might just make it more difficult for you if we talked, so that's why I didn't call again. It didn't even occur to me that you didn't know where we were going, so I just figured that you'd call when you wanted to talk, and when you never did…" She shrugged.

"It probably would have been even harder if I'd talked to you." After six years, I could look at the situation with some distance, and I knew that talking to Alice at that point just would have made everything worse.

"I've missed you." She reached for my hand over the table. "I never understood what happened that day, I was so sure that you would work it out somehow."

"He didn't tell you?"

She shook her head.

"I mean, I could tell that something happened, obviously, but he refused to talk about it. He really wasn't himself for a long time after we left Forks."

It was a little comforting to hear that I hadn't been the only one affected by our break up.

"When he told me you were leaving, I accused him of wanting to get out of our relationship."

"No, Bella, that wasn't…" I held up a hand, and she cut herself off.

"I know that now, but I panicked. I thought that he was leaving me, so I attacked instead of listening to his explanation."

"I guess that explains why he wouldn't talk about it."

"I guess."

"So." Alice continued, apparently deciding to change the subject. "How long have you lived here?"

"Only a couple of months in this apartment, we lived on campus before." I explained.

"You went to Seattle U then?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I had to take a year off after high school, of course, but I graduated this year."

"What did you end up majoring in?" She asked curiously.

"Marketing. I got a great job at a small advertising agency in town right after graduation."

"That sounds like fun."

"It is, I love my job. And you're a teacher?" I had never thought about it, but she was actually perfect in that role.

"Yeah." She laughed. "I sort of just stumbled into it, but now I really love it."

"You seem to be good at it, Lily's been ecstatic about "Miss Alice" all afternoon."

"Really?" A big smile appeared on her face.

"Definitely. You've made quite the impression on her. And Jasper, are you two…" She held out her left hand, and I saw a beautiful engagement ring on her finger. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. We got engaged right after I graduated last year. He got a great job offer at a Seattle based company last summer, that's really why we moved here. We live over in Sunset Hill, right by the water."

"And Rosalie and Emmett?" It wasn't really them that I was curious about, but I needed to work up some courage first.

"They live in Staten Island; they wanted to stay close to mom and dad. Emmett coaches a high school football team, and Rosalie's an interior designer." She giggled. "Well, they had a baby in June, Noah, so right now she's home with him."

"Tell them congratulations from me." I was glad to hear that they, too, were still together.

"I will." She studied me silently for a moment. "He's here in town, you know."

My eyes snapped up to meet hers as I registered the words.

"He moved here right after graduation last year." She continued when I didn't say anything.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

"You have to talk to him." Her voice was intense.

"I really don't." And I definitely didn't want to. In fact, it was right there on top of my "Things I never want to do" list.

"He needs to know." She insisted.

"No, you know what? _I_ need to think about what's best for _my_ daughter."

"She's his daughter too." Alice pointed out.

"Only in the biological sense."

"That's not his fault! I'm not saying it's yours, either, but you're the one who has the chance to fix it now."

"I can't risk that he wouldn't…"

"Do you think that I could?" She cut me off. "Do you think that I would even suggest it if I thought for one moment that he wouldn't love that little girl just as much as I already do?"

I didn't know what to say to that, and was saved from answering at all when Lily and Caitlin came into the kitchen a moment later.

"Mommy, can we have some juice?" Lily noticed who was sitting with me at the table and her face lit up. "Miss Alice!"

"Hi Lily, hi Catie." Alice smiled at them. "Your mom was just telling me that you really enjoyed your first day of school."

Lily nodded vigorously.

"Uh-huh. It was a lot of fun."

"I'm glad you liked it." Alice shot me a glance that I couldn't quite decipher before she continued. "Did you know that your mom and I used to know each other? Before you were born."

"You did?" I cursed Alice for revealing this, since I knew the questions that would inevitably follow when she had left.

"We did. We went to school together, just like you and Caitlin."

"Did you know grandpa too?" Lily wondered excitedly. "And aunt Angela and uncle Ben and uncle Jake?"

"I did know your grandpa, and Angela and Ben." She glanced over at me again. "I don't think I knew Jake, though."

"He's the coolest." Lily announced. "He takes me to the zoo, and the aquarium, and when we visit grandpa, we go out to the beach and we pick rocks that have all kinds of colors. And he can make a fire that's blue." Her eyes widened at the last word; she was fascinated by the driftwood fires that Jake always made when we went to the beach for picnics in the summers.

"That sounds nice." I could see that Alice was very curious as to who Jacob was.

"It is. And he lets me play with his hair, I even know how to braid it, and it's longer than mine!"

I decided that it was time to end the bonding session, and took two juice pouches from the fridge and gave them to the girls.

"Why don't you go play again?" I suggested. "Catie has to go home soon."

"OK. See you tomorrow, Miss Alice."

They both waved at her before running back out of the kitchen.

"Did you have to tell her that? Now she'll ask a bunch of questions, and I really don't know what to say to her." I complained.

"The truth, maybe?" Alice suggested. "She must have asked about her dad."

"Actually no." I shrugged. "Donna, that's Caitlin's mother, you met her this morning, is a single mom too, so I think that might be why. I mean, she's seen other kids picked up or dropped off by their dads at the daycare center, but she hasn't asked about it. At least not yet."

"Well, I want to be able to be her aunt, and not just Miss Alice."

"I know, I just… God, I was so not counting on ever having to do this." When I had pictured telling Lily about her dad – a conversation I had already been dreading for years – I had imagined trying to explain to her why he wasn't around. I had never really entertained the thought that I would ever see him again – or any of the rest of his family, for that matter – so the whole "this is your dad" bit was definitely not part of my plan.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Listen, Bella, I don't want to do this, but…" She hesitated, but then put on a harsh face. "He's my brother. And if you don't tell him, I will."

"Alice, please." I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"No. He has the right to know."

"I know that!" I snapped. "Fine, I will talk to him, OK? I just… I need some time to get used to the whole situation, OK?"

"Saturday. He always goes to 15th Avenue Coffee and Tea for breakfast at nine on weekends. He lives just a couple of blocks from the shop, in Stevens."

I knew the place. When we lived on campus, I used to take Lily to the playfield in Cal Anderson Park a couple of times a week. I realized that, if he had indeed moved to Seattle right after college the previous summer, we would have lived only a few miles apart for over a year. The thought was… impossible to take in.

"OK." Today was Wednesday, so I had two days to prepare. Not that I had any idea how to do that exactly.

"Great!" Alice's face lit up in a smile. "And now I want to see pictures!"

**Alice**

I could see the pride and love in Bella's eyes as she flipped through the pages of the photo album, pointing to the different pictures and explaining what was in them. We had started with pictures of Lily as a baby, and moved forward. Caitlin's mom had picked her up earlier, and Bella had put Lily to bed at nine. It was now almost ten, and we had gotten to more recent photos.

"That's Lily and Jake at the zoo this summer. She loves the penguins, for some reason." Bella laughed, probably at some memory from the trip to the zoo.

I had noticed that this Jacob was in a lot of photos, and wasn't sure what that meant. I didn't get the feeling that there was anything between Bella and him, but thought it was best to make sure that I wasn't misinterpreting the situation.

"So, you and Jake…" I started.

"That's really none of your business." She cut me off before I could finish the sentence.

"Oh." Touchy much? "I see."

She sighed.

"He's just a friend." She shot me a quick, wondering glance. "Not that I have any idea why you care."

"Friends care about friends' relationships." I tried to sound casual.

"Is that what we are?" She asked hesitantly, looking up at me.

"We used to be." I titled my head to the side and smiled. "I'd like to think that we can be again."

"I'd like that too." She mumbled, focusing back on the album in her lap.

At that moment, my cell phone rang, and I quickly answered when the caller ID told me that it was Jasper.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized before he had a chance to say anything. "I lost track of time."

"_Where are you?"_

"I'm at… a friend's place."

"_A__nd are you planning on coming home anytime soon?"_ I could hear the sarcasm in his voice and knew that he wasn't really mad.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I promised. "Bye, babe."

"_Bye."_

I hung up the phone and gave Bella an apologetic smile.

"Jasper's starting to wonder if I've run away with a touring circus or something."

"I guess we lost track of time." She said, looking at the clock on the wall above the TV.

"Do you have a photo of Lily that I could have?" I wondered. "I'd really like one."

"Hang on." She went over to the book case that was filled with books and CD's and dozens of photo frames. "I got some doubles last time I had pictures developed. Here we go."

She came back to the couch and handed me a picture of Lily sitting on a blanket on what I recognized as First Beach in La Push. She had a big smile on her face, an ice cream cone in her hand and some ice cream on her nose.

"This is from the Fourth of July weekend; we always go up to Forks to visit Charlie on the holidays." Bella explained.

"Thanks." I gave her a grateful smile and carefully put the picture in my purse.

"I have tons of photos on the computer; I can burn you a CD with them if you want." She offered.

"I would love that, thank you."

She walked me to the door, picking up the few toys that were scattered on the floor and tossing them into a basket by the couch on the way.

"I'm so glad to finally see you again." I realized that my hug surprised her, because she hesitated for a moment before hugging me back.

"So am I. And I've missed you too. So much."

I pulled back, and realized that we both had tears in our eyes. We started laughing at the same time.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before opening the door.

"I'll bring the CD." She promised,

I drove home in silence, turning off the radio that I always listened to whenever I was in the car. The day had been eventful, to say the least, and I needed some time to digest everything that had happened before I faced Jasper. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide my inner turmoil from him, and wasn't sure how to relate the day's event.

He was sitting on the couch watching TV when I walked through the door. When he heard me, he looked up and gave me a smile.

"Hey." I crossed the room and sat down next to him, pulling my legs up under me and leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Hey." He wrapped an arm around me. "You OK?"

He knew me so well; he could always sense my mood.

"A lot's happened today." I replied. It was cryptic, I knew that.

"New first graders." He noted, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I hesitated for a moment. Bella hadn't asked me not to say anything to Jasper, so I assumed it was fine. I knew he would never say anything if I asked him not to, and he would find out eventually anyway. "And I saw Bella."

"She's in Seattle?" The surprise in Jasper's voice was nowhere near the surprise I had felt when I saw Bella in my classroom earlier.

"Yeah."

"So that's where you've been tonight." It wasn't a question, and again I marveled at how well he knew me. "Where did you meet her?"

"At school."

"How is she?"

"Good. She seems pretty happy."

He was quiet for a moment.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you? Because seeing Bella again can't be it."

"It's not." I didn't know how to tell him, so I handed him the photo Bella had given me and let him draw his own conclusions. It shouldn't be too hard.

"Well, that's a… surprise." He said after having studied the picture for a moment.

"No kidding."

"I'm guessing she's in your class, then." He frowned. "Though I'm not sure how that's actually possible."

"She's starting a year early. She turned five in May."

"Well, there you go then."

"She's the most amazing kid." I smiled. "So smart, and sweet. She seems a lot older than she really is."

"Well, she's got good genes." He hesitated. "Edward doesn't know, does he? I mean, he wouldn't keep something like this from us all these years."

"No." I shook my head. "He doesn't know. Thanks to stupid misunderstandings and even more stupid muggers." I could tell that Jasper had no idea what I was talking about. "Remember when I got mugged and we had to get new phones? Well, Bella didn't find out that she was pregnant until after we left Forks, and when she called, the numbers had been disconnected. And the stupid idiot didn't tell her that we were moving to New York."

"Well, that sucks." Jasper stated matter-of-factly.

Yep, that pretty much summed it up.

"Tell me about it." I sighed.

"How do you think he'll take it?"

"I honestly don't know." I shook my head. "And that worries me, because I used to know him almost better than I knew myself... But he hasn't been himself since we left Forks, you know that. He'd probably be thrilled at just seeing Bella again; I really think that's why he moved back to Washington in the first place, because of the possibility of maybe running into her. But finding out about this? I have no idea."

"You just have to have some faith in him."

"I know. This whole situation just makes me so angry. Poor Edward, imagine all the things he's missed that he'll never get back. It's just not fair!"

"Poor Bella." Jasper countered. "Can you imagine getting pregnant at seventeen – in Forks of all places?"

**Bella**

When Alice had left, I called Angela. It was after ten, but I knew that she wouldn't mind.

"_Hello?"_

"Ang, hi."

"_Bella, is something wrong?"_

"No… Yes… I don't know." I groaned.

"_Why don't you start from the beginning?"_

"Alice came over earlier."

"_Oh."_

"Yeah, oh." I decided to push the inevitable off for just a little while. "She and Jasper moved here last year, he got some job offer. They're engaged now."

"_That's nice.__ I'm glad they're still together."_

"Yeah. Carlisle and Esme are still in New York – that's where they moved, apparently. Emmett and Rose still live there too; they had a little boy, Noah, in June."

Angela didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue, knowing what was coming.

"He's in Seattle. Has been for over a year."

"_It's a big city."_

I wasn't sure if she offered that as an explanation to why I hadn't seen him, or a reason why I might not have to.

"I'm going to see him on Saturday." I told her. "Alice is practically forcing me."

"_She can't make you do anything__ that you don't want to, Bella." _

"It's the right thing to do, I know that. I'm just a little freaked out." I sighed, absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair around my finger. "Besides, Alice said that she'll tell him if I don't, that he has the right to know, and he really should hear it from me."

"_That's true."_

"You just said that I didn't have to see him if I didn't want to!" I said, exasperated.

"_I was trying to be supportive, __honey, but I really agree with Alice. Even if I don't like her making ultimatums like that. He does have the right to know. And I know that you're scared that he won't react well, but you won't know until you try."_

"And then it'll be too late." I mumbled.

"_No, it won't. __Come on, Bella, you __**know**__ him. Do you honestly think that he would turn his back on Lily?"_

"It's been six years, Ang." I pointed out. "People change."

"_Not that drastically they don't."_

I hoped she was right.

xxxxx

"Are you in a hurry, or do you have a minute?" Donna asked after we had dropped the girls off at school the following morning. I knew that she must be curious, since she had noticed my reaction to seeing Alice the previous day, and our interaction this morning.

"No, it's OK, I've got some time."

"Coffee?"

"Please."

Since our jobs were only a few blocks apart, we each parked in their respective lots and met at our favorite coffee place right in between the two places.

"I thought you might need to talk." Donna said as we sat down with our cups at a table by the window.

"You picked up on that, huh?" I stirred the black liquid in the cup in front of me, focusing on the movement of the spoon.

"Miss Cullen told me that she used to live in Forks. I take it that's where you lived before you and Lily moved to Seattle?"

I realized that I had never told her where we used to live. I wondered how it had never come up during the past four years.

"Yeah. My junior year of high school, I moved there to live with my dad when my mom went on the road with my stepdad." Donna had met Renée and Phil when they had visited a few years earlier. "I met Alice already on my first day there, and we quickly became really good friends. Then she moved away right before senior year started, and we lost touch. I haven't talked to her since."

"The way you reacted yesterday morning seemed to be about a lot more than the surprise at seeing an old friend for the first time in years." She noted.

"It was." I took a sip of the coffee. "She's Lily's aunt."

"Biologically, you mean?" I nodded at her question. "But she didn't even know that you'd had Lily."

"No, she didn't. Like I said, they moved away before senior year, and when I found out I was pregnant a month later, I couldn't reach them."

"So Lily's dad doesn't…"

"He doesn't know about her."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "I know we've never actually talked about it, but I guess I just figured that you broke up. I mean, teenage pregnancy doesn't exactly have a good effect on relationships."

"That's probably true." I nodded. "But not what happened in this case."

"And now? Are you going to tell him?"

"I have to." I sighed. "If I don't, Alice will. And he does have the right to know, even if it's a conversation that I'm not exactly looking forward to."

"You're afraid that he won't want to be involved in her life?" She guessed, but I shook my head.

"That I could handle. I have for the past five years." I gazed out the window as I continued. "No, what I'm worried about is that he will want to be a part of her life, only to realize that it wasn't what he thought it would be. I could handle the rejection, but Lily… she's just five years old, she shouldn't have to deal with something like that."

**Alice**

When Jasper got home from work on Thursday, I popped the CD that Bella had given me that morning into the DVD player and started the slide. It was the same pictures that I had seen the previous night, except for the last thirty or so which we hadn't gotten to when my phone had interrupted us. Jasper wanted to see them, and I didn't exactly mind going through them again.

"She really does look a lot like Edward." Jasper noted when the slide was over.

"I know, it's almost scary." I grabbed the phone that was on the table in front of us and hit speed dial two. Jasper saw what I was doing and took the phone from me, hitting the end button.

"What are you doing? I thought you were going to let Bella tell him?"

"I'm not going to say anything, silly. I just want to make sure that he doesn't – against all odds – have something planned on Saturday that could mess up our plans." I took the phone back and hit the button again.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi little brother." I never got tired of reminding him that I was three minutes older.

"_Alice."_ His voice was only one step above lifeless, just like it had been for years.

"You can't muster a little more enthusiasm for your only sister?" I asked disappointedly.

"_Alice!"_

"That's better." I stretched out on the couch, putting my feet in Jasper's lap. He mockingly held his nose, and I stuck my tongue out at him. "So, how's your day been?"

"_You called to ask me that?"_

"I can't call my own brother and ask him how his day's been?"

The only reply I got was a sigh.

"The sooner you tell me, the sooner I'll go away and stop annoying you." I pointed out.

"_You'll never stop annoying me." _He grumbled."_It was fine."_

That had been his standard answer for everything the past six years. How are you? Fine. How's school going? Fine. How was work? Fine. Do you want to go out Saturday? Fine. Or, as was more often the case, no.

"You're going to have to do a lot better than that to get rid of me." I snickered.

"_How can someone so small be so annoying? Fine, I got the deal on that new commercial, they really liked my jingle. Happy?"_

"Ecstatic." I replied dryly.

I was actually surprised that Bella and Edward hadn't run into each other yet. They were both in the advertising business in the same city. Of course, she had only been working for a couple of months. They probably would have bumped in to each other sooner or later. Well, now it would be sooner.

"_Can I go now?"_

"No, you cannot. What are you doing Saturday?"

"_Well, I thought I'd hop the Red-eye to Los Angeles and party with the __it-girls. I hear Lindsay Lohan broke up with her girlfriend, and thought I'd give it a go."_

"Sarcasm, my old friend. It's been a while. Good to know you've still got it."

"_Whatever, Alice.__" _I could hear that his patience was about to run out._ "Why are you asking?"_

"I thought you might want to come over here and hang out with me and Jasper instead of doing what you always do on Saturday night – nothing."

"_I am not being set up by you again." _He warned me.

"Oh come on! I was talking about pizza and a movie! Give me some credit… And that last girl was not so bad."

"_She spent the entire evening talking about her__ six cats, and then she couldn't understand why I didn't want to come back to her place!"_

"Well, maybe you should have! You need to get laid!"

He was quiet for a moment.

"_I'm going to pretend__ that you didn't just say that."_

"Oh please. It's true. How long has it been?"

"_That's none of your business."_

"Six months? Longer?" The hint of anger in his voice was reassuring; at least he still had some human reactions in him.

"_If you're just going to be rude, I'm going to hang up."_

"No, Edward, wait!" I paused to make sure that he was still there. "I'm sorry, OK. You know I just worry about you."

"_Well, you don't have to. I'm fine."_

There it was again.

"Will you please come over on Saturday night? I don't like to think about you all alone in that cold place you insist on living in."

"_I like my apartment."_

"See? Apartment. Not even you think of it as "home", because it's not. It's just some bare, sorry excuse for a…"

"_Will you stop criticizing my apartment if I agree to come over__ on Saturday?"_ He interrupted.

"Yes."

"_OK, fine. But no set ups!__ I'll leave if I even suspect that you're up to something!"_

"None whatsoever! Cross my heart and hope to die."

"_OK. See you Saturday."_

"See you."

I hung up the phone.

"Hopefully not." I added to myself.

"What was that for?" Jasper wondered. "I thought we had a quiet evening planned on Saturday. In my book, that doesn't include your brother, no matter how good a friend he is. But, I mean, if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days…" I slapped him on the arm.

"I'm counting on him being otherwise engaged on Saturday night." I said with a mischievous smile.

"Aren't you the eternal optimist."

**Edward**

I stared at the phone for a moment after I had hung up. I wished that Alice would just give it a rest. I knew that she was just being a good sister, trying to cheer up her depressed brother, but it really was no use.

There was nothing wrong with most of the girls she had set me up with in the past couple of years. Most of them had been pretty, the majority nice, and some even funny and interesting to talk to.

None of that mattered, of course.

Because none of them were _her_.

**AN: A little insight into Edward's mind… but how will he react when he finds out about Lily? Only one way to find out...**


	21. 21 Revelations

**AN: ****Time for the big revelation! How will Edward take the news? Let me know if you like the chapter… **

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to? Is there anyone who actually believes that they're mine? Fine… I don't own them!**

**21 – ****Revelations**

**Bella**

By seven thirty on Saturday morning, I was a nervous wreck. Naturally, I hadn't been able to sleep much, and had spent the majority of the night obsessing over the coming meeting, getting more and more anxious as the glowing minutes ticked by on my alarm clock.

When there was a knock on the door, I almost jumped out of my skin, even though I knew it was just Angela who was coming to pick Lily up for breakfast and a day at the zoo. She had willingly offered to keep Lily occupied so that I at least wouldn't have to worry about that part. Plenty of other things to worry about, though…

"You seem on edge." Angela noted as I let her into the apartment.

"I can't imagine why." I mumbled, not wanting Lily, who was in the living room, to hear. The sound of someone knocking on the door usually brought her into the hallway, and today was no expression.

"Aunty Angela!" She exclaimed, running straight into Angela's waiting arms.

"Hey there, princess." Angela gave her a kiss on the cheek and swung her up in the air. "Are you ready to spend the day at the zoo with me and your uncle Ben?"

"Penguins!" A huge smile spread on Lily's face.

"Yeah, we can look at the penguins all day if you want." Angela said, putting Lily back down on the floor.

I helped Lily put her princess backpack on, having packed some snacks and a thin jacket in it. It was a little chilly outside, and even if she had on a thick sweater, she might need the jacket later.

"There's a jacket in there if it gets colder." I told Angela, who just rolled her eyes at me.

"I know the drill. Come on, Lily-Lee, let's go. The penguins are waiting!"

"Bye, baby." I knew better than to try to get a goodbye-hug when there were penguins on the horizon – there was no way I could compete with them – so I settled for ruffling Lily's hair a little.

"Bye, mommy." Lily waved at me before opening the door.

"Bye, Bella." Angela gave me a quick hug. "It'll be alright." She mumbled in my ear.

The door closed behind them, and I was alone.

I took a quick shower and put on the clothes that I had picked out the previous night – with the intention of wanting to prevent a clothing emergency in the morning. I was done a little after eight, but decided that I might as well leave. Getting there early to get a lay of the land seemed like a good idea.

I didn't actually have a plan; I really had tried to figure out what to say and how to say it, but it had been useless. Unless some genius plan suddenly occurred to me in the car, I was just going to have to wing it.

When I got to the coffee shop, I chose a table close to the register, and sat down so I was facing it. That way he wouldn't be able to miss me when he had paid for his coffee. At least I hoped so.

And I waited.

By nine, I had finished two large mugs of coffee and was getting even more jittery than I had been before I left home. Caffeine and nerves were not a good combination – it was funny how I always remembered that when it was already too late.

Every time the little bell over the door jingled, I looked over my shoulder, and every time, it wasn't him. Most people came in, bought their coffees and left, so the place wasn't very crowded, which was a comfort. A small one, but still. I would take anything I could get at this point.

At nine fifteen, I was starting to think that he wasn't coming, and relief surged through me. At least Alice couldn't say that I hadn't tried.

But just as I was about to get up and leave, the bell jingled again. When I automatically looked over my shoulder, my breath caught in my throat and I felt the exact same tingle down my spine that I had felt the first time I had seen him, more than six years earlier.

It felt like no time at all had passed, like I was back in the high school cafeteria where our eyes had met that cold, wet January day so long ago.

I had been able to convince myself that I had moved on with my life when he wasn't around, but seeing him now made the truth much too obvious to me. I wasn't over him. I wasn't anywhere near.

He didn't notice me, his eyes focused on the counter ahead of him. I took the opportunity of studying him a little more closely.

He looked the same, but there was something a little off. At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but then I realized what it was. He looked tired. He was thinner than I remembered, though that could have been a trick of my mind, and he had dark shadows under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in days. His hair was rumbled, like he had just rolled out of bed and thrown some clothes on before heading out the door. And the eyes… they were still the same color, of course, but no longer sparklingly green. Instead, they seemed empty somehow.

When he ordered his coffee, his voice hit me, and the memories of that last day came washing over me. I had to take a couple of deep breaths to pull myself together. And then he turned around.

Surprise was evident in his eyes as he spotted me, and… did he look happy to see me, or was I imagining it? I couldn't be sure; I didn't trust my own senses at the moment.

"Bella?" He took a step closer, sounding like he didn't really believe that it was me.

"Edward?" I tried to sound surprised, but I don't think I quite managed to pull it off. I threw in raised eyebrows and hoped it looked like I was taken aback by seeing him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, and I held up my empty coffee mug in reply. "No, I mean in Seattle." He clarified.

"I live here."

Obvious much?

"Really? Me too."

"I figured as much." I was surprised at how calm I sounded, when my insides were really all tangled up.

"Do you come here a lot?" He took another step closer.

"It happens." It wasn't technically a lie; I had been to the coffee shop before. "You?"

"Every weekend, I live a couple of blocks that way." He pointed out the door in the direction of where I knew his apartment was.

"I see." I nodded; I already knew that, of course. "Are you in a hurry, or would you like to sit down for a minute?" For a second, I was terrified that he wouldn't stay, and my breath caught in my throat at the thought of watching him walk away.

In response to my question, he pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down, placing his coffee mug on the table. I let out a relieved sigh.

"You're out of coffee." He noted. "Do you want me to get you a refill?"

"No, thanks. I've really had all the caffeine I'm allowed for one morning." Who was this person, joking and laughing? I barely recognized myself.

He laughed with me, but it wasn't the laugh I remembered. It seemed empty, like his eyes, hollow somehow. And the smile on his lips didn't reach his eyes.

"So, what are you up to these days?" Alice had already told me, of course, but it was what one asked in a situation like this, right? I couldn't let it slip that I knew more than I should.

"Well, I studied media at NYU, and some piano at Julliard, and now I write commercial jingles during the days and play at a jazz bar a couple of nights a week."

"That sounds like fun. NYU, huh?"

"Yeah, we were in New York anyway, it just seemed easiest." He shrugged.

"New York?" Again, I failed in my attempt to sound surprised, but he didn't seem to notice.

I wasn't sure why I was pushing this; did I want to relive that day? I should really move on to the reason I was here, but when facing two evils, I instinctively chose the lesser. The pain of remembering the day he left was nothing in comparison to the pain I was afraid was coming. If he didn't… no. I wouldn't let myself go there unless – until, the pessimistic voice inside me corrected – I actually had to.

"Right, I didn't tell you where we were going." Something flashed in his eyes before he looked away, and I briefly wondered if the memory of that day hurt him as much as it hurt me, before concluding that that was physically impossible.

"How long have you lived here?" I changed the topic, and he seemed relieved.

"A little over a year, I moved here after graduation. You?"

"About four years. I went to Seattle U." I was desperately trying to figure out how to broach the topic "hey, you have a five-year-old daughter you don't know about". It wasn't exactly something you just slipped into a conversation, and I didn't want to spring it on him out of the blue. Though that might be a vain intention; I doubted that it would make a difference how I told him, he was still going to be shocked. At best.

"What did you study?" He wondered.

"Marketing."

"We're almost in the same business, then." He noted.

"I guess so. I just graduated in June, and got a good job in town, so I decided to stick around."

"That's great." He frowned. "Wait, you said that you graduated this year? How come?"

I took a deep breath and bit my lip. This was my opening. No chickening out now.

"Well, I took a year off after high school." My heart was beating so hard that I was surprised he couldn't hear it.

"Why? Did you do the backpacking thing or something?"

"No." I slowly shook my head, my eyes on the empty mug in front of me. "A little over a month after you left Forks, I found out that I was pregnant."

He was quiet for so long that I eventually had to look up to check his reaction.

"What?" He sounded absent, somehow.

I took the photo I had brought with me from my bag and slid it across the table towards him. He took it, studying it intently.

"Her name's Lily, she turned five in May."

He stared at the picture for what felt like an eternity. Then he put it down on the table.

"I have to go."

I didn't stop him as he got up from the table and left the coffee shop without looking back at me. I was frozen in place, unable to even ask him not to go. Tears formed in my eyes, and I didn't bother to wipe them away when they rolled down my cheeks.

After a while, when I had managed to get my breathing under control and regained the movement in my limbs, I picked up my phone and called Alice. I didn't know what else to do.

"_Hello?"_

"He left." My voice broke on the second word.

"_Bella?"_

"I told him, and he just left."

"_What?__" _She instantly sounded furious._ "Are you still there?"_

"Yeah."

"_I'll be there in five minutes."_

She walked through the doors four and a half minutes later, fuming.

"That stupid, insensitive idiot!" I heard her mutter under her breath when she spotted me. My tears had dried, but I apparently still looked like hell, because she crouched down next to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I honestly didn't think that he would react like this."

"It's not your fault." I mumbled, though, in a way, it was.

"Come on." She pulled me up and along with her out the door. Stopping on the sidewalk, she looked me up and down. "Can you drive?" She asked skeptically.

"I'm fine, Alice." That wasn't really true, but I could handle driving myself home.

"Then you can follow me." She headed for her car, and I realized that she still had the Mini. It was parked behind my Accord on the street a block from the coffee shop.

"Where are we going?" I wondered, not really interested, and slouched after her.

"Back to my place."

"I'm fine, Alice." I repeated. "I'm not going to do anything stupid if you leave me alone. You don't need to babysit me."

"It's not you I'm worried about." She muttered. "I need supervision, or I might track down my sorry excuse for a brother and kill him. Very slowly and extremely painfully. And though that does sound like a very good idea right now, I'm not really cut out for a life behind bars."

I couldn't prevent a small smile from spreading across my face at her words. Imagining Alice, of all people, actually hurting anyone was laughable.

"OK." I grudgingly agreed.

"Thank you."

I followed the electrically turquoise car to a brand new apartment building on Seaview Avenue, close to the Golden Gardens Park. When we entered the apartment on the top floor, I gaped at the view.

"Wow, it's beautiful." The entire wall was a panorama window overlooking the bay, a large balcony stretching along it.

"Engagement slash graduation present from mom and dad." Alice shrugged.

Jasper came out of what I assumed was the bedroom, and I realized that Alice had lied to me when she'd said that I had to come home with her to keep an eye on her. I shot her a glare, but she ignored me, and I didn't have the energy to call her on it.

"Hi Bella." Jasper gave me a big hug. "It's good to see you again."

"You too, Jasper." I returned the hug. Over his shoulder, I saw Alice leave the room.

"I need a beer, do you want one?" She called from the kitchen a moment later.

"Sure." I shrugged. I didn't need to be home until two, when Angela was bringing Lily back. And a beer sounded like a very good idea.

"Let's sit on the balcony." Alice suggested, coming back into the room. "It's not that warm, but we have blankets."

I noticed Alice giving Jasper a questioning look, and him shake his head almost imperceptibly in return. I briefly wondered what that was about, but wasn't curious enough to actually ask. Alice held the door to the balcony open for me and handed me a bottle of Corona.

It was a little chilly outside, and I gratefully accepted the blanket that Alice offered me. Jasper didn't join us, slumping down on the couch and turning the TV on instead. Alice and I sat down on a wicker couch that was placed against the panorama window and looked out over the water in silence for a moment.

"You didn't have to trick me into coming back here." I pointed out.

"Sorry." She gave me a sheepish smile. "Do you want to leave?"

"No, it's probably better this way. I would just wallow in self pity if I went home."

"And if you're going to do that, you need beer and ice cream." Alice said. At first, I thought that she was joking, but she sounded completely serious.

"I haven't actually tried that combination."

"Oh, it's great." She got up from the couch. "Chocolate Fudge Brownie or Strawberry Cheesecake?"

"Chocolate, always go with the chocolate."

She giggled and returned a minute later with a tub of Ben & Jerry and two spoons. We dug into the ice cream, and I had to admit that the combo was pretty good.

"You know I'm still here, right?" She said a moment later. "I mean, I still want to be a part of your lives no matter what happens with _him_." She almost spat the last word.

"I know, and of course you will be." I wanted that too.

"Not just as Miss Alice?"

"Not just as Miss Alice." I promised.

"And do you think I could tell the others? I mean, I know mom would be ecstatic."

"I guess."

It would be nice for Lily to have a bigger family than just me, Charlie and Renée. Even if the idea of another set of grandparents might be difficult to explain to her without touching on the subject of another parent.

"Thank you." Alice squeezed my hand. "I'm honored to be a part of yours and Lily's lives, and I promise to never abuse your trust again."

"It's not your fault, Alice." I repeated. I really didn't blame her.

"But I should have realized. What else is this stupid twin thing good for?" She sighed. "I really thought I knew him better than this."

"So did I."

**Alice**

I let Bella leave after we'd had lunch at one. She promised that she would go straight over to Angela and Ben's place and hang out with them for the rest of the day, since I kept insisting that she shouldn't be alone.

"What are you going to do?" Jasper asked when I closed the door behind her, once again proving how well he knew me.

"I am going to pay a little visit to brother dearest." I got the spare key Edward had given me in case of emergency from the kitchen drawer where we kept it. This was most definitely an emergency.

"Slap him for me too, will you? Hard." Were Jasper's parting words.

Edward wasn't there when I let myself in. That was fine.

I could wait.

**Edward**

To see Bella again was a shock, to say the least.

When I walked out of her kitchen more than six years earlier, I had expected it to be the last time I would see her. Before talking to her that day, I had gone over the problem of me moving to New York again and again in my head, and I had really thought that we would be able to make it work. Sure, long-distance would be hard, but it would only be for a year. Then we would go to Seattle U together, and everything would be fine.

Her words had changed all that.

Of course I had expected her to be upset, angry, maybe even furious, that I hadn't told her about the move earlier, but I hadn't been prepared for what actually happened.

_What did you think would happen? We'd do one of those long-distance relationships until one of us got sick of it? We both know those never work._

The words still stuck in my mind; it was as if they were burned in my memory. Like when you look directly at the sun, and then see a red circle when you close your eyes. Only they wouldn't go away.

She couldn't have been as devoted to our relationship as I had been if she wasn't willing to at least try? If she could give up on what we'd had together that easily, did she really care?

So I had walked away, before she had a chance to say the words that would completely destroy everything we'd had.

Every day for those first months, I dialed her number at least a dozen times. And a dozen times, I didn't call.

Because though I knew those words would give me the push I needed to move on, I desperately clung to the memories of our time together. I needed them.

And so I never called.

After college, there really was no question about where I would go. It had been her plan to go to Seattle U; I had no reason to think that she would have changed her mind. I figured that it was probably a fifty-fifty chance that she would stay in the city.

A week after graduation, I moved into my new apartment.

Because a small part of me – the part that refused to believe that she had said those words because she no longer cared the way that I did – was screaming to the rest that Seattle was the only place to go. Where else would I be likely to run into her?

Sure, I had entertained the thought of driving to Forks to see her more than once since then, but every time the thought had popped into my head, I had managed to convince myself not to. And I turned around in the street at least once a week when someone passed by that reminded me of her in some way.

She had moved on, of course she had. Even if that small, delirious part of me wasn't wrong, and there had been some other reason that she had disregarded the idea of us staying together after I moved across the country, she must have moved on with her life. It had been six years. Just because I was stuck in the past didn't mean she had to be, too. A part of me hoped that she had in fact moved on, wanted her to be happy, but it was overshadowed by the part that didn't most of the time. Deep down, I was a very selfish creature.

And then there she was, right in front of me. Looking so much like Bella that it physically hurt. At the same time, seeing her made me happier than I had been in longer than I cared to think about. Talk about conflicting emotions.

"Bella?" I took a step closer to assure my disbelieving eyes that it was really her, and not some mirage. What I really wanted to do was touch her, but I didn't think that was the greatest idea. A tiny part of my brain was telling me that it had, at last, happened; I had finally lost my mind and started hallucinating. And then she spoke.

"Edward?" She raised her eyebrows in a surprised look, but there was a tone of something else in her voice. I didn't know, or care, what that was about.

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask, and she held up a coffee mug. "No, I mean in Seattle."

"I live here." She actually lived in the same city as I did? Even though I had hoped that she was still in Seattle, I hadn't dared let myself believe that she actually was.

"Really? Me too." Redundant, idiot!

"I figured as much."

"Do you come here a lot?" Lamest question ever, but my mind hadn't fully recovered from the shock of seeing her and wasn't working on any higher levels yet.

"It happens." Why had I never run in to her before? "You?"

"Every weekend, I live a couple of blocks that way."

I pointed in the general direction of my apartment, and cursed my words. Every weekend? Sure, make her think that you're completely pathetic. Which you are, by the way.

"I see." She nodded. "Are you in a hurry, or would you like to sit down for a minute?"

I had no idea if I had any plans for the day, but it wouldn't have mattered. There was no way I was walking away from her at the moment. I pulled the chair opposite hers out and sat down, noticing that her mug was empty.

"You're out of coffee." Like she didn't already know that… "Do you want me to get you a refill?"

"No, thanks. I've really had all the caffeine I'm allowed for one morning."

I joined in on her laugh, but even I could hear that it sounded strange. It had been a while since I had laughed without forcing it. It felt nice, but odd.

"So, what are you up to these days?" She asked.

"Well, I studied media at NYU, and some piano at Julliard, and now I write commercial jingles during the days and play at a jazz bar a couple of nights a week."

"That sounds like fun. NYU, huh?"

"Yeah, we were in New York anyway, it just seemed easiest." I shrugged.

"New York?"

I realized that she didn't know that. The memory of that day hit me so hard I almost lost my breath.

"Right, I didn't tell you where we were going." I had to look away from her to avoid seeing the accusation that would be in her eyes. That should be there.

I wondered if the memory of that day still tortured her like it did me. Probably not.

"How long have you lived here?" She wondered, and I silently thanked her for changing the subject.

"A little over a year, I moved here after graduation. You?"

"About four years. I went to Seattle U."

Had we really been in the same city for more than a year? Seattle was big, but I would have thought that we'd inevitably run into each other in a bookshop or music store.

"What did you study?" I was actually curious to know what she had ended up doing, even if it was also a way to get her to talk more, stay longer. I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving yet.

"Marketing."

Funny.

"We're almost in the same business, then." Even stranger that our paths hadn't crossed before now.

"I guess so. I just graduated in June, and got a good job in town, so I decided to stick around."

"That's great." June? This June? I frowned. "Wait, you said that you graduated this year? How come?"

She was smart, dedicated to school. I couldn't imagine that she would have been held back.

"Well, I took a year off after high school."

Oh. Why would she do that? I didn't think she was the kind to go backpacking across the country, but maybe I was wrong.

"Why? Did you do the backpacking thing or something?"

"No." She shook her head and kept her eyes on the mug in front of her, so I couldn't read her expression. "A little over a month after you left Forks, I found out that I was pregnant."

I heard the words, but they didn't immediately register.

Pregnant?

"What?"

She rummaged through her bag, and then slid a photo across the table. I automatically picked it up. A little girl, maybe five years or so, was sitting on a swing, a smile on her face.

"Her name's Lily, she turned five in May."

I studied the picture more closely. She had the same color hair that I did, and even I could see the other similarities. The same nose, same cheek bones. She was even smiling the same, slightly crooked smile that I had perfected during high school. The eyes were Bella's though.

I felt overwhelmed by merely looking at her, and concentrated on the rest of the photo instead. I recognized the background as the playground in Cal Anderson Park, just a couple of blocks away. I walked through that park every time I went downtown. Had I passed through there when they had been there? Maybe only a dozen or so feet away? The thought made my head spin. I put the photo down.

"I have to go."

I got up abruptly and left the coffee shop. She didn't try to stop me.

Once I was on the sidewalk, I didn't know what to do, so I started walking without a goal, letting my feet choose the way as my mind wandered freely.

Lily.

My daughter.

_My_ daughter.

The words didn't seem to fit together at all; I couldn't get my mind to wrap itself around the concept. It was just… mind-blowing.

It was a wonder that I didn't get run over, because the next time I became aware of my surroundings, I was outside the library. I had walked over a mile, and had no memory whatsoever of the route I had taken.

My cell phone started vibrating in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Alice. I waited until the call went to voice mail and then turned the phone off. I didn't want to deal with her at the moment.

I continued down to Pike Place Market, took a right and ended up in Elliot Bay Park, where I finally stopped. I sat down on the damp grass and stared out over the bay, not seeing what was right in front of me. Instead, the picture in front of my eyes was that of a beautiful little girl with big, brown eyes.

I sat there for I don't know how long. It was a nice day, and people passed by me continuously. College students on bikes, couples holding hands, families with kids and dogs. A hot dog vender came along after a while, and I realized that I was starving, so I bought two and quickly finished them.

I didn't think actively, only let my mind wander where it pleased. Which was why I was unaware that I had come to a decision until I actually had.

There was a little girl out there that was my daughter, my own flesh and blood, and I had already missed five years of her life – five years that I would never get back. I had no intention of missing another minute.

I got up, absentmindedly noticing that the park was almost empty – a glance at my watch told me that it was almost four in the afternoon – and went in search of a phone booth. I finally found one, and quickly flipped through the directory.

"Swan, Swan… Swan, B." There were three listings for Swan, B. and I tried the first number.

"_Hello?"_ A male voice answered.

"Hi, I'm calling for Bella."

"_There's no Bella here, you've got the wrong number."_

I didn't have a chance to apologize before he hung up.

The second number went straight to an answering machine that informed me that Bradley Swan was not in at the moment, but to leave a message and he would get back to me. The third number had been disconnected.

How was I supposed to find her if she wasn't listed?

I slumped against the wall, running a hand over my face. Then I realized how stupid I had been and flipped to the same page of the directory again. She wouldn't be listed as Bella, of course.

"Swan, I." I mumbled to myself as I ran a finger down the page. There were two of those, but I got lucky on the first one.

"_Hi, you've reached Bella."_

"_And Lily!"_

"_We're not in right now, but leave a message, and we'll get back to you."_

"_Bye!"_

I didn't leave a message, but ripped the page with their number and address from the directory and stuffed it into my back pocket.

Realizing that I was five miles from home, I caught a cab on Elliot Avenue and was at my apartment in ten minutes.

"Edward." I heard Alice's sharp voice from the living room when I closed the door behind me.

"I knew I would regret giving you a key." I muttered as I entered the kitchen and found her glaring at me from the couch in the adjoining living room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She looked absolutely furious, her eyes throwing daggers at me.

"I was just about to throw an intruder from my home, actually." I glared back at her. "How about you?"

I was definitely not in the mood for this.

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then would you please tell me what you are talking about, because I sure as hell don't have a clue." I took a jug of orange juice from the fridge and poured some into a glass, downing it in one big gulp.

"I'm talking about what you did this morning. I'm talking about Bella."

I froze as I realized that she knew.

"You know?" I slowly turned to face her.

"Of course I know!" She had a livid expression on her face. I hadn't seen her this angry since… well, ever. "Did you think it was a coincidence, that she just happened to be in the same coffee shop that you go to every Saturday for breakfast?"

"You know." I repeated. I put the glass down on the counter, because I was afraid I'd crush it in my hand if I didn't. "How the hell could you not tell me?"

"I only found out three days ago! Bella promised that she would talk to you, and I thought you should hear it from her. I would have told you if she had refused." Her expression changed from pure fury to disgust. "Now I'm starting to regret pushing her to do this. How could you?"

"This is none of your business, Alice." I said through gritted teeth.

"Like hell it isn't!" She got up from the couch and for a moment I thought that she was going to hit me. She didn't, though, but stopped an inch from me and looked as menacing as she could. She was surprisingly good at it, considering she didn't even reach me to the shoulders.

"Just stay out of it, Alice." I warned. She did hit me then, slapped me across the face.

"And watch you ruin everything? I swear, if you break that little girl's heart, I will never speak to you again! You hear me? Never!"

I touched my left cheek, which stung a little. Then her words registered.

"Wait, you've met her?"

"Of course I have, she's in my class."

"She's… what?" I was not following her.

"She's in my new first grade class that started this Wednesday." Alice clarified. I could hear in her voice that the anger was wearing off.

"But she's five." I tried to connect the dots, but didn't quite succeed.

"I know." Alice shrugged. "Her best friend is a year older, and the pre-school teachers thought it would be better if they could start first grade together, so Bella had her start school a year early. She's very mature for her age."

"What's she like?" I asked, eager to know this stranger that was my daughter.

Alice glared at me again.

"Why do you care?"

"How can you say that? Of course I care."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it." She muttered. I realized that she was talking about Bella and the coffee shop.

"I was shocked, I couldn't think straight!" I tried to explain.

"And why the hell didn't you tell Bella that we were moving to New York? Do you have any idea of the hell she must have gone through?" Her quick change of subject threw me for a moment before I realized what she was talking about.

I didn't want to think about that day. Alice must have realized that she had hit a sore spot, because she quickly continued, without waiting for an answer

"So now what?"

That was the big question, wasn't it? I pondered it for a moment.

"I want to see her, know her. Be a part of her life, in any way possible. I couldn't stand not to, now that I know that she's out there, you know." The idea was unbearable; I felt a lump forming in my throat at just thinking about it.

Alice surprised me by wrapping her arms around my waist. I hugged her back.

"Thank you for not being the jerk I was afraid I was wrong thinking that you weren't."

"Could you take that in English?"

"Never mind." She pulled away. "You have some serious sucking up to do."

**AN: I hope this further insight into Edward's mind answers the questions I know some of you have as to why he hasn't contacted Bella in the last six years. **


	22. 22 21 Guns

**AN: I got some very strong reactions to the last chapter, and I hope I haven't made you hate "my" Edward too much. It just seemed like a believable reaction to me; I couldn't even try to write a version where he immediately accepted everything and it was all perfect right away – life isn't like that. And you've probably figured out by now that this story isn't just puppies and roses! Anyway, let's get on with it, shall we? Let me know what you think of the chapter…**

**Disclaimer: They're still not mine… but Christmas is only a couple of months away…**

**22 – ****21 Guns **

**Bella**

It was a relief to finally leave Alice and Jasper's apartment after lunch – I knew that they were only acting out of concern for me, but they had been watching my every move all day. I loved them for caring, of course, but having them constantly hovering was getting really annoying.

I found _21__st__ Century Breakdown_ in the glove compartment of the Accord, and turned the volume up as I pulled into the traffic on Seaview Avenue. While I drove to Ben and Angela's place I tried to focus on the music and keep my mind from wandering. I skipped ahead, and _Know you enemy_ blared from the speakers; the loud music cut into my ears, but I welcomed it. It made thinking difficult, and that was exactly what I had been trying to accomplish.

Angela's car wasn't there when I got to the parking lot outside their apartment building, so I called her cell phone. It wasn't even two yet, and they were probably still at the zoo, but a part of me just needed to make sure.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Ang."

"_What's wrong?"_

Apparently I didn't sound as composed as I thought I did. But then again, this was Angela – she was my best friend, and she knew me better than anyone.

"I'll tell you when you get here, OK? I'm at your place."

"_OK. We're just making one last stop at the penguin__s, and then we're heading home." _I could tell that she really wanted to push, to find out what had happened, but Lily was there, and Angela wouldn't want her to overhear anything.

"OK, I'll see you soon."

"_See you__ in a bit. And whatever it is, don't overanalyze!"_

Better than anyone.

I hung up the phone, skipped a couple more tracks and then hit the repeat button. I leaned my head back and tried to focus on the lyrics of the song, again keeping my mind too busy to wander too far into unwanted territory.

_Do you__ know what's worth fighting for  
When it's not worth dying for?  
Does it take your breath away  
And you feel yourself suffocating_

_Doe__s the pain weigh out the pride?  
And you look for a place to hide  
Did someone break your heart inside  
You're in ruins_

We didn't need him. We had been getting on just fine without him for five years; we'd continue to do exactly that. It wasn't the end of the world. We would survive.

_Lay down your arms  
__Give up the fight_

I was insanely grateful that Lily would never have to know anything about what had happened today. Knowing that Edward had rejected her hurt me physically all the way to my bones, but at least she wouldn't have to deal with it. That was a small comfort, but a comfort none the less. I would just have to focus on that.

_When you'__re at the end of the road  
And you lost all sense of control  
And your thoughts have taken their toll  
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul  
_

_Your faith walks on brok__en glass  
And the hangover doesn't pass  
Nothing's ever built to last  
You're in ruins_

At least Alice and Jasper would be an addition to our lives in the future. And maybe even Carlisle and Esme – I wasn't as sure about their reaction as Alice seemed to be, but I was hopeful. If they would only give her a chance, there wasn't anyone Lily couldn't charm. So not only negative consequences then, but something to be grateful for as well.

_Did you try to live on your own__  
When you burned down the house and home  
Did you stand too close to the fire?  
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone_

I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me as the song drew towards its end. Angela and Ben would be back with Lily soon, and I had to pull myself together so that she didn't suspect anything. She could be dangerously attentive sometimes, and I didn't want her to start asking questions. I wasn't sure I could deal with that at the moment.

_When it's time to live and let die__  
And you can't get another try  
Something inside this heart has died  
You're in ruins_

I had managed to put on a somewhat collected appearance when Angela's Clio rolled into the space next to the Accord ten minutes later. Lily immediately spotted me and jumped out of the car as soon as Ben had opened the door for her.

"Mommy!" She jumped into my arms and I held her close, relishing in the warmth of her body, the smell that was just her. "Guess what? There were baby penguins at the zoo! And lion cubs, too, they were sooo cute."

"Really? I hope you've got a lot of pictures to show me." My voice sounded perfectly normal, but I caught the look Angela gave me out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't fooling her.

"Uh-huh, we took a million pictures!"

"We'll have to look at them, then." I put Lily down, and she skipped ahead of the rest of us into the building.

Angela came up beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Later, Ang." My voice trembled a little, and I swallowed to try to make it steadier.

She nodded.

"Thanks."

Ben hooked up the digital camera to the computer when we got into the apartment, and Lily spent an hour explaining – in detail – all the photos of different animals. I had to admit that the baby penguins were cute, and the lion cubs too – like little yellow balls of fluff.

After the picture show, Angela put _The Lion King_ into the DVD, and we all sat down on the couch. Half an hour into the movie, Lily had moved down to the floor to be closer to the television and was so wrapped up in what was happening on the screen that she didn't notice me and Angela slipping out of the room.

"So?" Angela asked when she had closed the door to the bedroom behind us.

"He left." I shrugged, but didn't meet her eyes. I didn't want her to see the pain that must be obvious in mine.

"He left?" She repeated incredulously. "Just like that?"

"He looked at the photo for ten minutes or something, then he said that he had to go and he left." There really was nothing more to it than that. Nothing at all.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"What am I going to do?" I stared at her. "Nothing. That's what I'm going to do. He's made his choice."

"And you're just going to accept that?"

We were speaking quietly, so Lily wouldn't hear. But I could tell from Angela's tone of voice that anger was bubbling just below the surface. I wasn't sure whether she was mad at Edward for the way he had reacted, or at me for simply accepting it without a fight.

"What do you want me to do, force him to see her? Do you really think that would be good for Lily?"

"No, of course not. You can't force him to do anything. But you have to at least talk to him again."

"I don't know if I can."

I couldn't tell her that seeing him, hearing him disregard my daughter – _our_ daughter – with just four little words had opened up part of the hole in my chest again. Brought the memories of that horrible time to the surface – memories that I had thought I'd buried somewhere deep down years ago, but that were now nagging at me to acknowledge them. But she seemed to know, because she wrapped an arm around my shoulders in a comforting way.

"Oh, honey, you don't have to. I'm sorry." She thought for a moment. "Can't Alice try to get him to come around?"

"She probably will, she was even more furious than you are."

"She'll get through to him, you'll see." Angela smiled evilly. "Or at least knock some sense into him. Literally, I hope."

I smiled at that. The thought was more appealing than it should be.

"You want to hang out here tonight?" Angela wondered. "We'll order Chinese, watch movies... Ben can head over to Jake and Sam's place, we'll make a girls' night out of it."

"Now you sound like Alice." I rolled my eyes. "She wouldn't let me leave until I promised to come straight here. I'm fine, really."

"I know." She didn't sound the least bit convinced.

"Didn't you and Ben have plans tonight, anyway?" I dimly recalled her talking about a movie… or a restaurant...

"No." She replied a little too quickly, forgetting that I knew her just as well as she knew me.

"Yes you do. You have reservations at that new French place; you've been dying to go there ever since it opened."

"We'll cancel. We can go another night, it's no big deal."

What had I done to deserve such a self-sacrificing friend?

"Ang, I'm grateful for what you're trying to do, but honestly, I'm fine." It was closer to the truth now than it had been when I had told Alice the same thing earlier in the day. "I survived six years ago, and I'll survive this too." I added.

She studied me for a moment, and apparently decided to believe me.

"OK. But you call me, you hear? If you need to talk, or anything. Promise! I won't be able to relax if I have to worry about you, all alone, wallowing in self pity, and then I won't even get to enjoy a night out with my boyfriend, and it'll be all your fault!"

"Jeez, I promise." When she put it that way…

"OK then." She got up off the bed. "Let's go watch some singing lions."

**Edward**

"What are you going to do?" Alice asked as we sat down on the couch in the living room.

"I called, but they weren't home."

She snickered and shook her head at that.

"I think you need to be a little more creative than that. What were you planning on saying, anyway? "Sorry about being a jerk, mind if I come over?" Don't think that'll cut it, exactly."

I should have thought of that, of course. Bella would be furious – she _should_ be furious. I was furious with myself.

"What do you suggest?" Alice would know what to do, she always did.

"Well, first of all you need to convince Bella that you're serious about this." Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "You are, right?"

"Of course I am! You know me better than that." Didn't she?

"Because this isn't some toy you can play with until you get bored and then throw aside, you know."

"I know that, Alice." Did she really think so little of me? "Give me some credit."

"OK, I just had to make sure."

I was getting anxious.

"Will you get to the point already?"

"I did – you have to convince Bella that you're really in. She won't even let you see Lily if she doesn't believe that you're serious about this."

"That's it?" Could it really be that simple?

""That's it?" It won't be easy, if that's what you think." Alice punched me in the arm, but in a playful way. "You just made her worse fear come true, it's going to take a lot to make this up to her. If it's even possible."

It felt like my heart sank into my feet. What if Bella didn't forgive me? I would never get to see Lily, never know my own daughter. The thought was unbearable.

"What am I going to do?" Even in my ears my voice sounded defeated.

"Well, you're not going to get anywhere with that attitude!" Alice exclaimed, sounding exasperated.

"You just said that you didn't think it would be possible to make up for what I did, and you expected what?"

"I expected some fire! You're going to have to fight for this; I just need you to grasp that."

I had been a fighter once. With Bella. But without her, I had given up. There had been nothing worth fighting for. Until now.

**Alice**

"What am I going to do?" The empty look in his eyes matched the defeat in his voice.

"Well, you're not going to get anywhere with that attitude!" What was wrong with him? Was he just going to give up? Did he honestly think I would let him do that?

"You just said that you didn't think it would be possible to make up for what I did, and you expected what?"

Not this, for sure. It felt like I barely knew him these days. Even after Los Angeles, he had never backed away from a difficult situation, always fighting when he had wanted something bad enough.

"I expected some fire! You're going to have to fight for this; I just need you to grasp that."

He was quiet for a moment.

"OK."

There was a little more life in his eyes now, and though it wasn't exactly the attitude I had hoped for, it was better than defeat. This I could work with.

"Good. Now, you're going to have to let me talk to her first." He looked like he was about to object, so I held my hand up to stop him. "I have no doubt that she'll hang up if she hears your voice on the phone, and if you show up at the apartment, she'll probably slam the door in your face. And that will get us nowhere."

"Good point." He sighed.

"Don't worry," I squeezed his hand. "I'll help you fix this. Don't I always?"

"Thanks, Alice." He smiled weakly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I shudder to even think about it."

He actually laughed at that, and I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had actually heard him laugh spontaneously. Oh, Edward. All these years, I had thought that he didn't like being set up because it was awkward and embarrassing. I hadn't realized that it was because he was still in love with Bella. Of course, I had known that there would always be something there – first love and all that – but I had honestly believed that he had gotten over her by now. Well, step two in my plan would have to be to do something about that.

"OK, might as well get started." I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Bella's cell.

"_Hello?"_

**Bella**

The movie was almost over when my cell phone rang. I hurried to search my jacket pockets, of course finding it in the last one.

"Hello?"

"_Hi."_

"Alice, hi." I went into the bedroom to talk, closing the door behind me.

"_Are you still __over at Ben and Angela's?"_

"Well, yes. You told me that I wasn't allowed to leave, remember?" I said dryly. No need to tell her that I wasn't planning on following her orders. What Alice didn't know…

"_Right. Well, I want to talk to you, do you think you could head home?"_

"I guess." What was she up to? "What about?"

"_Half an hour?" _She ignored my question.

"OK."

"_See you then."_

I hit the "End" button and went back into the living room, where the credits were rolling across the screen.

"You ready to head home, baby?" Lily looked up from the TV.

"Yeah." She sighed. She loved hanging out at Ben and Angela's. No wonder, since they spoiled her rotten.

"Chicken nuggets for dinner." I tried to tempt her, and it worked.

"With ketchup?" The one time I had tried the combination, it had tasted horrible, but it was her favorite.

"Is there any other way?"

She happily got to her feet and followed me into the hall at the prospect of chicken nuggets with ketchup.

"What did Alice want?" Angela mumbled quietly as Lily focused on tying her shoes. She had just mastered it the previous week, not wanting to wear "baby shoes" to school.

"Talk. I don't know?" I shrugged. I didn't want to analyze Alice's reasons for wanting to talk too closely; I knew my mind would jump to conclusions that would only lead to more disappointments.

"She didn't say anything else?" Angela pressed.

"Nope." I shook my head. "Cryptic as ever."

Lily had finished tying her shoes, so I helped her put her jacket on before opening the door. She started skipping down the stairs and I grabbed her backpack, which Angela handed me.

"Have fun tonight." I said to Angela. "And don't worry."

"Not possible." Angela gave me a hug goodbye. "Call me tomorrow."

"Of course."

Lily started babbling about the trip to the zoo again in the car, and I listened gratefully, pushing all other thoughts aside for at least a moment. I knew I would have to deal with them soon enough.

We were home in a couple of minutes.

"Mommy, can I watch SpongeBob?" Lily asked, following me into the kitchen.

"Sure, baby." That would hopefully keep her occupied so I could talk to Alice when she got there.

"Yay!" Lily hurried into the living room, and I heard the sound of the TV a moment later – it was much too loud.

"Turn it down a little, sweetie. You'll go deaf!" I called. She lowered the volume as little as she could possibly get away with, and I shook my head, smiling. She was a wonderful kid, but now and then she tested boundaries, just like all children.

It was still a little early to start dinner, so I tried to busy myself with cleaning the kitchen – which wasn't very messy to begin with – as I waited for Alice. Finally, there was a knock on the door, and I let her in.

"Hi." She greeted with a smile.

"Hey." I stepped aside and she walked past me into the apartment. A moment later, she was almost knocked over by Lily who came bounding into the hallway.

"Miss Alice!" She exclaimed happily.

"Hi Lily." Alice gave her a big hug. "You don't have to call me Miss Alice when we're not at school, you know."

"Can I call you aunt Alice, like aunt Angela?"

Alice shot me a questioning and hopeful look, and I nodded discretely.

"Of course you can!" Alice said.

"Yay!"

"Why don't you go back and watch your show, honey" I suggested. "Grown up talk is just boring."

Lily didn't object, happily returning to the living room.

"Come on." I led the way into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. Alice followed my lead. "So?"

"I figured you probably wouldn't talk to him, so I thought I'd act as a sort of middleman." She explained.

"You thought right." My voice was hard, but my heart rate was picking up and I had to struggle to keep breathing normally.

"He's sorry."

I laughed dryly at that.

"Is he now? Well, that just makes it all better, doesn't it?"

"Really sorry." She continued, ignoring my sarcastic remark. "But you have to understand that he was shocked. You get that, right?"

"I guess." I shrugged.

"I'm not trying to make any excuses for him, but you did catch him by surprise."

That might be the understatement of the century, actually.

I didn't say anything, keeping my eyes fixed on the table in front of me, and after a minute or two, Alice spoke again.

"He's afraid that you won't let him see her."

My eyes snapped up to hers.

"For that to even matter, he'd have to actually _want_ to see her." I pointed out, a little harsher than I had intended.

"He does, he really does. I know that the way he reacted this morning doesn't exactly back that up, but you don't ever have to doubt that."

I wasn't so sure about that, but decided not to argue with her.

"Will you at least talk to him?" She pleaded.

"He's not outside, is he?" My eyes darted nervously to the part of the hallway that I could see from where I was sitting. I had locked the door after letting Alice in, right?

"Of course not, I would never put you on the spot like that." Alice hurried to assure me. "He's back at his place, probably wearing a path in the carpet by now."

I tried to gather my thoughts, evaluate the situation. I had to make sure that Alice wasn't mistaken before I let Edward anywhere near Lily, but I had to admit that Alice had a point. I _had_ dropped this on him out of the blue, and I _had_ anticipated some sort of shock... I supposed talking to him again, giving him another chance, would be the right thing to do. My stomach lurched in a not completely unpleasant way at the thought of seeing him again.

"OK." I nodded.

"Oh, thank you!" Alice hopped up, rounded the table and gave me a hug. "I'll call him right away."

"Wait a minute." I grabbed her hand before she had a chance to pull her phone from her pocket. "I don't want Lily around."

"Oh, of course. You can go over there." She suggested, but I shook my head.

I needed to be in my own comfort zone if I was going to do this.

"I'll call Angela, she and Ben were going out tonight, but I'm sure she'll cancel if I ask her."

"Don't be silly." Alice objected. "I can take Lily home with me. I mean, if that's OK with you?"

"Of course it is. Jasper won't mind, though? It is Saturday night." I pointed out. "You don't have plans?"

"No, we were just going to stay in. "Alice replied. "Besides, Jasper's been dying to meet her."

"OK then." I knew that Lily would be fine with them, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would be ecstatic at the thought of spending the evening with Miss Alice.

When SpongeBob was over a few minutes later, Lily came into the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, mommy."

"Hey, Lily. How would you like to hang out with me tonight?" Alice suggested. "Your mom has some grown up stuff she has to do."

"But mommy's making chicken nuggets for dinner." Lily frowned, torn between her favorite food and getting to spend time with Alice.

"I can make chicken nuggets, if you want. With ketchup." Alice quickly offered.

So that's where she got it from? I should have known.

"Really?" Lily's eyes sparkled. "Mommy doesn't like ketchup on her chicken nuggets."

"Well, mommy's a little weird." Alice stage whispered, winking at Lily, who laughed.

"Maybe you should bring a movie, or a game." I assumed there wouldn't be any toys at Alice and Jasper's, and entertaining a five-year-old was far from easy.

"That's a good idea, why don't you go pick something out." Alice said, and Lily excitedly rushed out of the room. "I'll call him when we get home, give you some time to prepare." Alice continued when Lily was out of earshot.

"Thanks, though I'm not sure it will actually help."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure he's even more nervous than you are." Alice offered.

"It really doesn't." I laughed humorlessly. "But thanks anyway."

Lily came bounding back into the room, _Lilo & Stitch_ in one hand and Candy Land tucked under her arm. Renée had given her the Winnie the Pooh edition of the game for her last birthday. I could easily imagine Alice playing, but had trouble picturing Jasper moving around the little figures in shapes of Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked, and Lily nodded eagerly.

I went with them to the car, since Alice needed Lily's car seat. I moved it to the backseat of the Mini, and Lily climbed in before responsibly putting her seat belt on.

Alice squeezed my hand before getting into the driver's seat.

"It'll be OK." She said in an obvious attempt to calm my nerves.

"I've heard that before."

"Trust me." The look in her eyes gave me no other choice. Of course, the minute she drove out of the parking lot, my trust began to falter.

**Alice**

"So you like _Lilo & Stitch_?" I smiled at Lily, who sat clutching the movie and the game in her lap, in the rear view mirror.

"Uh-huh." Lily nodded vigorously. "Her name's almost like mine!"

"It is, I didn't think about that."

"Lily's a flower." She informed me. "Grandpa says that I'm even prettier than the flower."

He was right. Of course, I was probably biased.

"Listen, Lily, you're going to meet a very special friend of mine tonight." I wasn't sure how to explain the situation without getting into subjects that definitely weren't suitable for the ears of a five-year-old. "His name's Jasper, and we live together."

"Like aunt Angela and uncle Ben? And grandpa and aunt Sue?"

So Charlie had found someone? Good for him.

"Yeah, like that."

She frowned for a moment, apparently thinking hard about something.

"Does he like chicken nuggets with ketchup?" She finally asked, and I was so relieved at her question that I almost laughed out loud.

"No, but we can make some without for him, right?"

"I guess." She generously agreed.

We were at our apartment building by then, and I helped Lily out from the back seat.

"The water's right there!" She exclaimed excitedly, pointing at the bay.

"It is. You can see all the way to the other shore from our window."

"Wow."

We rode up in the elevator, and I unlocked the door.

"Jasper?" I hadn't called him to let him know that Lily was coming back with me. "We have company."

"It's pretty." Lily went over to the panorama window and pressed her hands against the glass, leaning as close as she possibly could without touching it with her nose. The sun was on its way down, and colored the sky in different shades of pink and purple which reflected off the still surface of the water below. It really was beautiful.

"Hey." Jasper greeted, coming into the living room. Lily was completely absorbed in the view and didn't notice him.

"I offered to watch her for a while, so they could talk." I mumbled, and Jasper nodded.

"Of course. You managed to knock some sense into him then?"

I had gone straight over to Bella's after leaving Edward's apartment, so I hadn't had time to give Jasper an update on the situation.

"I think he had already taken care of that part himself, honestly. But I helped him find his resolve, at least."

"Good."

"You don't mind spending the evening with cartoons and Candy Land?"

"Of course not." He shot a glance in the direction of the kitchen. "Dinner first?"

"We have chicken nuggets, right?" I was pretty sure I had seen a box in the freezer the other day. "And ketchup?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "What? It's not for me."

He glanced over at Lily, who was still looking out the window.

"I should have known. Bad taste runs in the family."

I chose to ignore him.

"Hey, Lily." I called and she, apparently grudgingly, turned her attention from the view. "This is Jasper."

She slowly walked over to where we were standing, suddenly seeming a little shy.

"Hi." She glanced up at Jasper before looking down at her feet.

"Hey there." Jasper crouched down so that he was more on her level. "Alice has been telling me about how good you've been in school. Do you like it?"

"Uh-huh." Lily nodded, looking up from the floor. "It's really fun."

"I'm glad you think so." He gave her a big smile, and she tentatively returned it. "Would you like to help me with dinner?"

"We're having chicken nuggets." She informed him.

"I know. I think it might be best if you kept an eye on me, just to make sure that I don't mess anything up."

"OK." Lily willingly agreed. "I help mommy make dinner sometimes. But I'm not supposed to touch the knives."

"Then I'll be in charge of the knives, how does that sound?" Jasper said, and Lily nodded.

"You go ahead with Jasper, I'll be right there." I smiled at Lily. "I just need to make a call first."

Lily happily trudged along down the hallway with Jasper, and I smiled a little wider when I saw her tucking her hand in his. I waited until they disappeared into the kitchen before I pulled my cell from my pocket and called Edward.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, everything's clear, you can head on over. Lily's here with me and Jazz, so you and Bella can sort this out."

"_OK. Talk to you later.__ And thanks."_

"You can thank me later. Now go grovel. And good luck."

**Edward**

I answered the phone before the second ring.

"Hello?" Like I had hoped, it was Alice.

"_Hey, everything's clear, you can head on over._ _Lily's here with me and Jazz, so you and Bella can sort this out."_

I briefly closed my eyes, thanking whatever higher power it was that had decided to offer me a second chance. I was not going to screw it up.

"OK. Talk to you later. And thanks."

"_You can thank me later. Now go grovel. And good luck."_

I was out the door almost before I had hung up the phone, grabbing my jacket as I passed it in the hallway. When I got to the parking lot behind my building, I realized that I had forgotten my car keys, and had to run back up to the apartment, cursing under my breath the entire way.

Finally in the car, I sped out of the lot and down the street. I had to restrain myself so I didn't go over the speed limit; it would not do to be stopped by the cops now.

I arrived at their building within ten minutes, and took the stairs two at a time. But outside their door, I stopped. I would see Bella in just a moment; she was on the other side of the piece of wood in front of me.

The fear that she would simply turn me away overwhelmed me, and I had to lean against the wall in the corridor and take a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart. Alice wouldn't tell me to go over here if there was no hope, right? If Bella was just going to tell me to stay away from them, Alice would have warned me, wouldn't she?

I had to convince Bella that I was serious about wanting to be a part of Lily's life. That was what Alice had said, and that was what I had to do. I wouldn't give up no matter what.

I knocked on the door, forcing myself not to pound on it. It opened after a moment, and there she was.

She looked wary, and I didn't blame her. She had every right to be.

"Hi."

**Bella**

I didn't know exactly what to do with myself after Alice and Lily left. It wouldn't take more than ten minutes for them to get back to Alice's place, and then another ten minutes for him to get here.

Twenty minutes.

I busied myself with picking up the few toys that scattered the living room and kitchen. Lily was a very neat girl and rarely left things lying around for long, so there wasn't a lot to do in that area.

Sixteen minutes.

I straightened the magazines on the coffee table, and lined up the remotes to the TV and DVD. A book I had been reading the previous night found its rightful place in the bookcase.

Fourteen minutes.

I checked the bathroom, making sure that no stray underwear was hanging over the side of the tub or lying on the floor. The laundry basket was closed and the shower curtain drawn in front of the tub before I put a bottle of Tylenol into the medicine cabinet and quickly wiped off the sink and mirror.

Eleven minutes.

I went into my bedroom – not that he would have any business going in there – and quickly made the bed. I tossed the clothes that were hanging over the back of the chair in the corner into the closet. A pair of sandals was kicked under the bed. I still closed the door behind me when I left the room.

Five minutes.

I checked Lily's room, made the bed and lined up her stuffed animals on the coverlet. Other than that, it was fine.

One minute.

I returned to the living room, grabbed one of the magazines off the table without noticing which one it was, and sat down on the couch. My hands automatically flipped through the glossy pages without my mind registering what they were seeing.

Five minutes later, there was a discreet knock on the door.

I placed the magazine back in the exact place I had taken it from, and took several deep breaths on my way to the door, telling myself that I was not nervous.

A little voice inside me laughed at the lame attempt.

I opened the door, taking one last, deep breath. For a moment, I had trouble forming a coherent thought, just like I'd had at times when we first got to know each other back in Forks.

"Hi." His voice brought me out of my temporary insanity.

"Hi."

He didn't ask to come in, but I took a step back. He looked grateful that I hadn't slammed the door shut and quickly crossed the threshold. And then he was in the hallway.

Having him so close in the small space was overwhelming, and I had to retreat into the doorway to the living room.

"I'm glad you agreed to give me another chance."

"What can I say? I still haven't learned how to say no to Alice." I didn't know why I said that, and when I noticed the flicker of pain in his eyes, I immediately regretted the words. No matter how much he had hurt me that morning, I couldn't bear the thought of inflicting him any pain. "Come on in."

I had planned to go into the kitchen, but for some reason, I ended up on the couch in the living room. He sat down in the battered armchair next to it.

He was quiet, studying the room, and after a moment I decided to give him a push in the right direction.

"I'm listening." It sounded a little harsher than I had intended.

"I'm sorry." He started, his eyes burrowing into mine for a moment before he looked away. "I know that that's nowhere near enough, but it's all I've got."

"OK?" I was listening, but I wasn't going to help him out.

"When you told me… I was shocked, to say the least." His eyes pleaded with me. "You have to understand that I was completely caught off guard, first seeing you and then…"

"I get that." I interrupted.

"It's no excuse for what I did, but I don't know what else to say. I was overwhelmed, and I had to think."

"And now that you've had time to do that?" Alice had said that he wanted to see Lily, to be a part of her life, but I needed to hear it from him to believe it. Actually, I needed a lot more than that to believe it, but hearing him say the words would be a good start.

"I would like to see her, if that's OK?"

The fact that he asked surprised me.

"I want that too, but I have to be positive that you won't disappear in a month, or a year. This isn't some game."

"I know that, of course I know that." The words flowed quickly, and he seemed encouraged by the fact that I hadn't shut him down.

"This is a full time job, not something you can do when you feel like it. If I let you be a part of her life and you decide that it wasn't what you expected after a while…"

"I would never do that, I promise." He interrupted. "I could never abandon her like that."

I saw the sincerity in his eyes, and lost the urge to argue. He really did mean it.

"OK."

**Edward**

"OK."

I was afraid that I'd misheard her.

"OK?" I repeated disbelievingly.

She nodded.

"OK."

"Thank you." The words didn't do the gratitude I felt justice, but I could think of nothing else to say. "I promise that you won't regret it. I'll do whatever it takes to make up for this morning and make you trust me with Lily."

She just nodded at that.

I wanted to touch her, to hug her, feel her body close to mine again after all these years. But I knew that she would never accept that, so instead I looked around the room again.

Against one of the walls was a bookcase with photo frames on several of the shelves. I went over to look at the pictures.

There were dozens of Lily; baby photos, pictures of her as a toddler and more recent ones. I felt a lump forming in my throat, and swallowed hard.

"I have more photos, if you want to see." Bella said from behind me, and I turned around.

"I'd like that."

**AN: OK, tribute to Green Day this time. Songs are **_**Know your enemy**_** and **_**21 Guns**_** – hence the title of the chapter. The song is truly amazing – I probably don't have to say that it's right on top of my favorite songs list at the moment. I also borrowed a little from Bon Jovi, don't know if anyone picked up on that one…**


	23. 23 First Meeting

**AN: Here comes the big meeting! I hope you like it****, please let me know...**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**23 – First Meeting**

**Bella**

I watched as Edward looked at the photos in the bookcase; pictures of Lily through the years, her childhood up until now. I could only imagine the thoughts that must be running through his head, seeing her at different ages. Growing up.

"I have more photos, if you want to see." The words came almost automatically, but I realized that I wanted to show him. I wanted him to have at least a part of her childhood years, even if photos would be all he ever had.

He turned around to face me, and I noticed a look of sadness in his eyes that tore at my heart. I had no possible way of knowing what he was feeling; I could only imagine what it must be like to know that you had missed so much that you would never get back. The unfairness of the situation was almost overwhelming.

"I'd like that."

I got up and walked over to the bookcase, taking the three large photo albums from their places on one of the shelves. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, only a few inches from me, and it made my breath catch in my throat and my heart rate speed up.

How could he still have this effect on me? It had been over six years since I'd last seen him, for crying out loud! I wasn't sixteen anymore; I was a grown woman, for Christ's sake!

I tried to ignore my over-excited heart and took a deep breath before I returned to the couch where I put the albums down on the table in front of me. I opened the first one, which that started with the two ultrasound pictures.

Edward sat down next to me to look at the photos, and I felt a surge of electricity between us that was just all too familiar, despite the years that had passed since I had last felt it. I glanced over at him to see if he noticed it too, but his eyes were focused on the pictures in front of him.

I turned my attention back to the album and pointed at the first of the ultrasound pictures.

"That one's from the three-month check-up."

"I remember when Emm and Rose showed me the ultrasound picture of Noah; I was surprised to see that it actually looked like a person."

"I know." I laughed a little at the memory. "I was actually expecting something more like a peanut or something."

He laughed once at that.

"And is that from five months?" He asked, pointing at the other picture.

"Yeah."

"Did you find out that she was a girl before she was born?"

"I did, actually." I nodded. "Not because it would have mattered, it was more of a split decision, really. And Angela was badgering me to find out."

I turned to the next page, where the birth certificate took up one of the pages. On the other page there were four pictures of Lily, taken less than an hour after she was born. Charlie had, thankfully, had the presence of mind to take some photos while I had been unconscious.

In the first one, Lily was lying in the bassinette in the hospital – she had on the plastic identification bracelet that was now attached to the page of the photo album, and above her head there was a notice announcing her to be "Baby girl Swan."

"I think she's about half an hour old in this one, Charlie took it in the nursery at the hospital."

I noticed him looking at the birth certificate on the opposite page.

"She was a bit reluctant to come out; she was supposed to be born on May eleventh, but waited twelve whole days before she decided it was time to make an appearance." I remembered those days; they had felt like weeks.

He reached out and traced the letters of his own name on the piece of paper.

"Thank you."

I understood.

"Of course."

He looked at the photos again. There were two of Lily in her bassinette in the nursery, one of her with Renée and one with Charlie. They both had somber looks on their faces, and I remembered why.

"You're not in these." He noted.

"I was unconscious for a while after she was born." I hadn't told Alice that, so there was no way he would know.

"What?" His head snapped up from the album and he looked at me with a worried expression on his face. "What happened?"

"There were some complications." I explained. "I lost a lot of blood, and had to have surgery."

"That's horrible, I'm so sorry." He mumbled, looking back at the album.

"I was fine, obviously. No permanent damage." I tried to shrug it off, and reached out to turn the page.

We continued through the album, me commenting on every photo, describing what we had been doing when they had been taken. I was about to open the second album when my stomach growled.

"I'm keeping you from dinner, I'm sorry." He got up, and the only thought in my mind was "please don't leave".

"That's OK, I was actually thinking about ordering pizza or something, if you're hungry? I hate cooking for just myself." Please stay, I added silently to myself.

"If you're sure." He sat back down, and I let out a breath I didn't know that I had been holding.

"Of course." I reached for the phone on the table. "Mushroom OK?"

"Sure."

I ordered the pizza, and as we waited for it to arrive, we continued with the second album. We had gotten halfway through it when there was a knock on the door. Edward insisted on paying for the pizza, and I only argued for argues sake; I knew I'd give up in the end.

We ate at the table in the small kitchen.

"This place is nice." He noted, looking around the room.

"It's not big, but it's mine." I shrugged. "I know it'll never be featured in _Home and Gardens _or anything, but I love it."

"Have you lived here long?"

It felt slightly absurd, sitting at my kitchen table with him, eating pizza and making small talk. Absurd, but strangely enough not uncomfortable, which was what I had expected.

"Just a couple of months, actually. We lived in an apartment on campus when I was at Seattle U."

"Oh."

We continued to chat about unimportant things like work and school while we finished the pizza, and then returned to the living room.

Halfway through the third album, I started laughing at a picture I had taken of Lily when she'd had the chicken pox the previous spring. Jake and I had tried to entertain her since she hadn't been able to play with Catie, who hadn't had it. I had found some water-soluble markers and we had drawn lines between all the spots. She looked like a connect-the-dots problem.

"She was so bored, since she couldn't play with her best friend." I explained when I had stopped laughing. "Usually, she doesn't mind staying in and watching a movie or hearing a story, but when she actually couldn't go out, she started climbing the walls."

"She had the chicken pox?"

"Yeah." I noticed the horrified look on his face. "Kids get sick, Edward. That's just the way it is. She complained about the itch, and had to stay inside for a while, but it passed in a couple of days."

"I know that, I just… I don't like thinking about her not feeling well."

"I know, it is hard." I shrugged. "But it's just something that you'll have to get used to. You can't show your soft spots or she'll take advantage of them, and before you know it, she'll have you wrapped around her little finger."

"I think that it might already be too late for that warning." He mumbled.

I flipped to the next page in an attempt to lighten the mood a little. Pictures from Lily's birthday party in May; she was wearing a pink princess dress and a tiara.

"She's in a bit of a pink phase." I said. "Her whole room is pink, from floor to ceiling."

"Can I see it?" He wondered eagerly.

"Sure."

I put the album down on the table and we both got up. I led the way down the hallway to Lily's door, which was ajar.

He took a careful step into the room. I waited in the hallway, wanting to give him some privacy.

"It is really pink." He said after a moment. "Not necessarily my style of interior design, but it's nice."

I laughed a little at that.

"She says that the bed makes her feel like a princess."

"I can see why."

**Edward**

It caught me off guard when Bella started laughing at a photo in the album. I wasn't sure which one she thought was so funny until she explained.

"She was so bored, since she couldn't play with her best friend. Usually, she doesn't mind staying in and watching a movie or hearing a story, but when she actually couldn't go out, she started climbing the walls."

I studied the pictures, and found one where Lily was covered in lines all over. Looking a little more closely, I noticed that the lines connected at red dots.

"She had the chicken pox?" A common enough children's disease, but the though of her, that beautiful little girl, being sick made my heart ache. Bella must have noticed the pained look on my face.

"Yeah." She paused. "Kids get sick, Edward. That's just the way it is. She complained about the itch, and had to stay inside for a while, but it passed in a couple of days."

I knew that. On a logical level, of course I knew that. That didn't help one bit at the moment, though.

"I know that, I just… I don't like thinking about her not feeling well." Especially since I hadn't been there to take care of her. It made me feel completely powerless.

"I know, it is hard." She shrugged. "But it's just something that you'll have to get used to. You can't show your soft spots or she'll take advantage of them, and before you know it, she'll have you wrapped around her little finger."

Now she warned me?

"I think that it might already be too late for that warning." I admitted. I hadn't even seen her yet, and I already knew that I would do absolutely anything that would make her happy, that would keep her safe.

Bella didn't comment on that, instead flipped to the next page of the album. Lily was wearing a violently pink dress and a crown of some sort. I noticed the cake with six candles in front of her, and realized that the photo must be from her birthday party.

"She's in a bit of a pink phase." Bella said. "Her whole room is pink, from floor to ceiling."

"Can I see it?" I asked, wanting to know everything I could about this little girl that was my daughter.

"Sure."

She got up off the couch, and I followed her down the hallway to a door with a purple sign with pink letters spelling 'LILY' on it. The door was open, and when Bella stopped in the hallway, I stepped over the threshold.

It really was pink. The walls were a soft, old rose shade, and there were darker, cerise flowers here and there. The soft rug on the floor was also pink, as were the curtains. The furniture was white; a dresser, a rocking chair, a desk with a chair, a small bed with a canopy. There were several stuffed animals on the bed; a huge, brown teddy bear, a Winnie the Pooh, two Eeyores and a small collection of penguins.

"It is really pink." I noted. "Not necessarily my style of interior design, but it's nice."

Bella laughed.

"She says that the bed makes her feel like a princess."

"I can see why." I smiled a little as I looked at the bed again.

I went back into the hallway and closed the door quietly behind me. I followed Bella back into the living room and we both reclaimed our seats on the couch.

She continued to flip through the album, explaining every picture in detail, and I was glad. I was getting small snapshots of their life up until now, and that was really all I would ever get.

When we were on the last page, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Bella answered. "Oh, hi." "Alice" she mouthed to me. "No, he's still here… it is? I'm sorry, I didn't realize… no, that's OK, you can bring her over… OK, see you soon."

She hung up.

"It's almost ten." She said, and I looked at my watch in surprise.

She was right. I'd been there for over three hours.

"I guess time flies, huh?" She noted, getting up from the couch.

"Can I stay? See her?" I asked anxiously.

"Not tonight, I'm sorry." She shook her head apologetically. "Alice said that she fell asleep on the couch. If she's even awake, she'll be exhausted. Tomorrow, OK?"

I would have to settle for that.

"OK."

"I have to talk to her first, too. Explain." She frowned, probably trying to figure out what to say. I had no help to offer.

"I understand." I unwillingly got up from the couch, and she walked me to the front door. "Will you call me when I can come over tomorrow?" I asked, not wanting to waste more time than necessary. I scribbled my cell number down on a piece of paper that I found on a small table in the hall.

"Of course." She accepted the piece of paper, and for a second our fingers touched. Electricity surged through me, just like it had when we had sat together on the couch. I wondered if she felt it too.

"See you tomorrow, then."

"Bye."

She closed the door behind me, and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to knock on it again, asking to come back in. Into her apartment, and into her life.

Finally, after a few minutes, I managed to pull myself together and walk down the stairs. I got in the car and pulled out of the lot, but stopped on the side of the street half a block from the building. I sat there, waiting, until Alice's Mini rolled down the street in front of me. She didn't notice me, so I watched as she pulled into the lot and parked in the space my car had occupied a few minutes earlier. She got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door and helping Lily out from the backseat. She was apparently half asleep, because Alice picked her up and carried her towards the building. My arms ached to do the same, but instead I waited until they had disappeared through the door, and then I started the engine and drove back to my apartment. Like Alice had said, it wasn't really a home.

**Bella**

"Will you call me when I can come over tomorrow?" He asked eagerly, writing down his number and handing the piece of paper to me.

"Of course." I took the scrap of paper, and for a second, his hand touched mine. The same electricity from before practically stunned me, only intensified tenfold.

"See you tomorrow, then."

"Bye."

I let out a breath and leaned my forehead against the door when I had closed it behind him. Who knew being in the same room as him after all this time would be so exhausting?

I went into the living room and put the albums away, my mind wandering to what I was going to say to Lily tomorrow. I was drawing a blank.

Alice knocked on the door ten minutes later, and carried a sleeping Lily into her room. I managed to at least get her jeans and shoes off before tucking her in under the covers, but gave up on her t-shirt and let her sleep in it.

Alice was waiting in the living room.

"How did it go?" She wondered impatiently as I entered the room.

I sat down next to her on the couch and leaned my head back.

"It went fine, I think."

"He was here for three hours, I'd say "fine" is an understatement." I didn't like the suggestive tone in her voice.

"We looked at photos." I explained.

"Oh, did you?"

I chose to ignore that. I didn't need to justify anything to her.

"You're going to have to help me out with what I'm going to tell Lily before he comes over tomorrow, because I have absolutely no idea." I changed the subject.

"Well, first of all you have to decided whether you are going to let her know who he is before she meets him or not. Do you want to let them get to know each other first and then tell her?"

That idea didn't appeal to me at all. I could never lie to Lily about something important like that.

"I don't think so. I want to be up front with her from the beginning."

"Then you just have to figure out what to say."

"Thank you so much for pointing that out to me." I said sarcastically. "I never would have thought of that!"

"Look, Lily's an adaptable kid, she'll handle this fine." Alice shrugged. "I mean, I can give you the words, but you'll have to say something that you can stand for in the end anyway."

"I guess you're right." I grudgingly agreed. I really would have liked it if she had told me what to say, though.

"I'll let you get some sleep." Alice squeezed my hand and got up from the couch.

"Like that's going to happen." I muttered, following her to the door.

"Just try to relax, everything will be fine." She assured me.

"You keep saying that."

"It's my motto. Besides, statistically, sooner or later it's bound to be true." She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Night."

"Goodnight."

**Alice**

I noticed the look of deep thought on Bella's face and decided that it was time for me to go. She needed to think this through on her own.

"I'll let you get some sleep." I squeezed her hand before I got up from the couch.

"Like that's going to happen." She grumbled as she walked me to the door. She had a point; I doubted sleep would come very easily to her or my brother tonight.

"Just try to relax, everything will be fine." I tried to calm her, not really counting on being successful.

"You keep saying that." She noted.

I did, didn't I? Well, it would have to be true at one point or another.

"It's my motto. Besides, statistically, sooner or later it's bound to be true." I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Night."

"Goodnight."

I was too wound up to go straight home, so I stopped by Edward's apartment on the detour.

"I heard everything went well." I said when he opened the door.

"I think so." He said, frowning a little.

"You're going to see her tomorrow, right?" Had I missed something? I quickly ran through my conversation with Bella in my head.

"Yeah, but I get the feeling Bella's still worried."

I sighed.

"Of course she is. It comes with the whole parent thing, silly." I giggled. "Might as well get used to it, _dad_."

"God, that sounds strange." He slumped down on the couch and I sat down next to him.

"You'll do great." It wasn't just an encouragement, I really did believe it. He would be an amazing dad; that little girl was lucky.

"I hope so."

"Come on, relax a little." I knew there really was no point, but said it anyway.

"That'll be easy." He replied sarcastically.

"OK, how about if I distract you from being nervous about tomorrow by making you nervous about telling mom and dad." That should do the trick.

He groaned at my mention of our parents.

"Crap. I haven't even thought about them."

"Aren't you happy you have me to think for you?"

"Always." He glanced at me. "Will they freak?"

"Of course they'll freak." No point in sugarcoating it. "At first."

"Should I call them?" He disregarded his own thought before I could point out the time difference. "No, they're asleep."

"I was actually thinking that we could wait a little. They're coming to visit next weekend, Emm and Rose too. And this isn't the kind of thing you can just spring on them over the phone."

"That's next weekend?" He looked confused. "But today's…"

"The twelfth." I finished.

"It is?"

"Yes, air brain."

"Right. So they're coming here on Friday."

"Exactly. I was thinking we'd jump straight to the introductions, and skip the whole "you've got a five-year-old granddaughter" part."

"I like that idea. But we have to talk to Bella about it first." He pointed out.

"Well, I was actually planning to do that, believe it or not." I replied dryly.

"Just making sure."

"I should probably head home." I got up. "Jasper is going to start wondering what I'm up to if I keep staying out this late all the time."

"Hey, I just thought of something." Edward said. "Tomorrow's Bella's birthday."

I thought about it for a moment, and realized that he was right. We hadn't actually been in Forks to celebrate her birthday, but it was definitely September thirteenth.

"You're right. We should do something." A party.

"No party, Alice." He told me sternly. He must have noticed the look in my eyes. Darn!

"Fine. Be a spoil-sport, why don't you?" I stuck my tongue out at him, but quickly moved on to another idea. "I know, Lombardi's!"

"She might already have plans, Ali." Edward ruined my fun – again – by pointing out.

"I'll make a reservation anyway." I decided. "Even if she can't come, we still need to eat."

"I'm not going to argue with you, because I know it wouldn't do any good."

"That's a good boy." I headed towards the door. "I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Bella – get some sleep!"

"Like that's going to happen." He muttered, and I smiled.

"That's what she said too. Night!"

I locked up after myself and headed home.

**Bella**

I didn't sleep much that night, twisting and turning in the bed. I gave up on trying to figure out what to say to Lily, and decided that I'd just have to wing it.

When I heard the television turn on to Tigger and Pooh, I decided that I might as well get up.

I made waffles for Lily, and when I brought them into the living room for her, she surprised me by giving me a big hug and a piece of paper.

"Happy Birthday, mommy." She said, and I realized that, in all the commotion, I had forgotten.

"Thank you, baby." I hugged her tightly until she began to squirm.

So much had happened in the past couple of days that the fact that today was my birthday had completely slipped my mind. Angela had talked about doing something just us girls tonight, but we hadn't made any definite plans.

I went back into my bedroom and saw that I had two new text messages on my cell. The first one was from Angela, received at 12.01 A.M.

_Happy birthday!! Was I first__? I hope you're feeling better, and if not, my shoulder is available for a good crying session. I know we didn't make any plans for today, but how about pizza and a movie tonight? Ben can be on Lily duty. Love you._

The second was from Jake, a minute later.

_Happy birthday, Bella! __I know you've been busy this week, but I am not taking no for answer – we are going to Snow Patrol in October. I already got the tickets, consider it a birthday present. XOXO._

I laughed. He was ending his texts with XOXO ever since he – by mistake, if you asked him, on purpose according to me and Angela – had watched an episode of _Gossip Girl_ the previous fall.

I was uplifted by the messages, and jumped into the shower before my mind had a chance to wander back to more nerve wrecking subjects. No point in obsessing, it wouldn't do any good anyway.

When I had put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, I poured some cereal in a bowl and brought the food into the living room, watching Lily as I ate. I finished the cereal and started the dishwasher, and then went back into the living room.

"Lily? Can you turn the TV off for a moment?"

She obeyed immediately, and I sat down next to her on the couch.

"Someone's coming to visit today." I told her, still not sure how to start.

"Grandpa?" Her eyes became wide with excitement. She and Charlie had a very special bond between them that went way beyond the normal grandparent-granddaughter relationship. That probably wasn't odd, considering the fact that he had been the most important male role model in her life so far.

"No, not grandpa, but someone special."

"Grandpa's special." She insisted with a frown.

"I know he is, but I'm talking about someone else, OK?"

"OK. Who?"

I took a deep breath and decided to just jump right in.

"Your dad."

She was quiet for a moment.

"I have a dad?"

"Of course you do, baby. All kids do."

"But I've never seen him." She bit her lip.

"You see, he used to live far, far away." That was at least part of the truth. I hated even the little lies, but there was no way that she would understand. It would just confuse her, and to tell her the entire truth just to make myself feel better wouldn't be fair. "In New York."

Her eyes went wide again.

"That's really far away." We had never been in New York, but she knew that it was on the same side of the country as Florida, and that was very far away if you asked her.

"It is." I agreed. "So that's why he's never been here before. But now he lives here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And he really, really wants to see you. Would you like to see him?"

She nodded instantly, a smile spreading on her face.

"Is he tall like uncle Jacob?"

I laughed at her question.

"Not quite that tall." There were very few people who were as tall as Jake – he was huge! It wouldn't have surprised me if I had found out that his dad had experimented with growth hormones on him when he was a kid.

"That's OK."

And just like that, she accepted it. Alice had been right; she would be fine with this.

I decided to wait a couple of hours to call Edward, not knowing when he would be getting up on a Sunday. If he had been able to get some sleep, I didn't want to wake him. At ten thirty, I figured that it should be safe to call.

The first beep hadn't ended before he picked up the phone.

"_Hello?"_

He sounded out of breath.

"Hi, it's Bella. You can come over now, if you want."

"_I'll be right there."_

**Edward**

I barely slept at all that night, and when I did, my mind was flooded with images that wouldn't leave me alone. Bella pregnant, Lily as a newborn, Lily at one, two, three, four. Lily on her first bike, a pink one, of course. Lily on the beach, in the garden at Charlie's house, in the woods around Forks.

I finally gave up trying to get some sleep at six in the morning, and decided to take a run to, hopefully, clear my head. It didn't work, of course. After a while, I found myself in Cal Anderson Park, and realized that I had made my way there unconsciously. I was standing in front of the swing set that Lily had been playing on in the picture Bella had showed me in the coffee shop the previous day.

I sat down on the same swing that Lily had been sitting on, and kicked off from the ground, swinging back and forth for a moment.

I headed home after that, realizing that there was no distracting my relentless mind.

I showered, got dressed and had some breakfast. Then I spent the rest of the morning on the living room couch, staring at my cell phone on the coffee table and waiting for it to ring.

When it finally did, I almost jumped out of my skin in my hurry to answer.

"Hello?"

"_Hi, it's Bella."_ Like I wouldn't recognize her voice anywhere. _"You can come over now, if you want."_

"I'll be right there." I hung up the phone, stuffed it into my pocket and rushed out the door.

The Sunday morning traffic was sparse, and I made it to their apartment building in under ten minutes. Again, I paused in front of their door, again having to calm my heart, which was beating a mile a minute. After a moment, I knocked on the door.

Bella opened almost immediately, a welcoming smile on her face. She looked a lot more comfortable than she had when we had been in the same positions the previous day.

"Hey, come on in." She walked ahead of me into the living room, and my breath caught in my throat when I spotted Lily on the couch. "Honey, come here, I want you to meet someone." Bella called, and Lily immediately jumped off the couch.

I realized that I had no idea what Bella had told her. Did she know who I was? Or did she think that I was just a friend of her mom's?

She walked over to us, tucked her hand in Bella's and looked up at me.

"Hi." She had a big smile on her face, and I smiled back.

"Hi."

She contemplated me for a moment.

"You're my dad."

It wasn't a question.

"That's right."

"You have the same color hair I do." She noted.

"I guess I do."

She tilted her head to the side.

"Do you want to watch _Home on the Range_ with me? I have it on DVD."

"Sure."

How better to bond than over talking cows?

**Bella**

"Do you want to watch _Home on the Range_ with me? I have it on DVD." I let out a sigh of relief at Lily's unconditional acceptance. Kids really were amazing.

"Sure." Edward quickly agreed, and I put the DVD in the player.

I didn't see much of the movie. Of course, I had seen it a number of times before – I had never really understood the glory of watching the same cartoon over and over. It must be a kid thing. Instead, I watched the two of them interact, noticing subtle similarities that might have escaped someone who wasn't looking.

Like the way they both laughed at the same time, finding something funny that I didn't pick up. It was like they were on the same wavelength.

I got up a few moments before the movie ended and went into the kitchen to start lunch.

"I was thinking that we could go down to the playground when we've eaten, how does that sound?" I called into the living room when I heard that the movie was over.

"Grilled cheese, mommy!" Lily exclaimed. Luckily, that was what I'd had in mind.

"On the way."

I wasn't sure how long Edward had planned on staying, but he didn't object, and Lily was thrilled. We quickly ate and left the apartment, Lily skipping along next to Edward, chattering about all the fun things you could do at the playground.

When we got there, she immediately rushed over to the swings and climbed one. Edward followed her, and began pushing the swing. I sat down on a bench a few feet away, happy to just watch them.

Lily shrieked with laughter as Edward pushed her higher and higher. I was starting to worry that he would let her go too high, when he stopped and let the swing slow down before starting to push it again.

When Lily ran over to the slide fifteen minutes later, he joined me on the bench.

"This is going pretty well." I noted, and he beamed, the smile reaching his eyes in a way I hadn't seen the previous day. It made him look more like the Edward I remembered. Of course, it also brought with it a bunch of feelings that would best remain unanalyzed.

"She's amazingly easy to interact with."

"Yeah, she's kind of cool." He laughed at that. "Alice said that she'd be fine with this, she's very adaptable, but I was still worried about how she would react."

"How did she react?" He wondered.

I wasn't going to tell him about the first question she'd asked, since I thought it might hurt him.

"Well, I explained that you used to live far away, but that you lived here now and wanted to see her. And she said that she wanted to see you too."

"She did?" There was a tone of incredulity in his voice.

"Of course."

He pondered this for a moment.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this… immediate acceptance. I'm glad, though."

"Me too."

He smiled that crooked smile that used to make me weak in the knees. Sure enough, it still did the trick. I was glad I was sitting down, so he couldn't see the effect he had on me.

"Happy birthday, by the way."

"You remember?" I was astonished.

"Of course I do." His eyes were intense as they stared into mine. "I managed to divert Alice's plans for a party, but she has made reservations at Lombardi's for tonight. You can say no, I told her you probably had plans already."

"I don't have plans." I said before I had a chance to control myself. "It would be nice to go out to dinner."

"Alice will be thrilled."

And how about you?

**Edward**

"Happy Birthday, by the way."

I tried to sound casual.

"You remember?" She looked at me in astonishment.

"Of course I do." Her eyes drew me in, and I couldn't look away. Not that I really wanted to. I would be happy staring into her eyes forever. "I managed to divert Alice's plans for a party, but she has made reservations at Lombardi's for tonight. You can say no, I told her you probably had plans already." Please don't say no.

"I don't have plans." The answer came quickly, which made my inner optimist rejoice. "It would be nice to go out to dinner."

"Alice will be thrilled." But not half as thrilled as I am.

At that moment, Lily came over and crawled into Bella's lap. I longed to be able to hold her the same way, but didn't want to push my luck. She seemed to have accepted my presence, but she was still just a kid. It was probably best to take things slow, one step at a time. Not rush anything.

"You want to go on the swings again?" Bella asked, and Lily nodded, suddenly looking shy. "Do you want me to push you?" She shook her head, and Bella gave me an amused look.

"I can push you, if you want." I said, and she nodded. I was about to get up when she whispered something in Bella's ear before burying her face in her hair.

"You want me to ask?" Bella wondered, and Lily nodded.

"What is it?" I was starting to get nervous. Was something wrong?

"She wants to know if she can call you dad?"

I felt a knot in my throat and had to swallow a few times before I was able to answer.

"Of course you can."

"Really?" Lily peeked up at me.

"Really." I wanted that more than anything.


	24. 24 Meet the Cullens

**AN: ****Wow, this story is almost up to 20 000 hits and 200 reviews – you guys are the greatest! I hope you like the next chapter – it's time to bring the rest of the Cullens into the picture. Let me know what you think…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, even if I would like to…**

**24 – ****Meet the Cullens**

**Bella**

We stayed at the playground until five, and then we had to go home to get ready for dinner. Alice had called at three, and she had been thrilled when Edward had told her that Lily and I would come tonight. We were meeting her and Jasper at the restaurant at six thirty.

Edward walked back to the apartment with us before he headed home to get ready too. He insisted on picking us up, and since we actually lived on his way to the restaurant, I didn't argue.

When Lily and I got home, there were several messages on the answering machine wishing me a happy birthday; Charlie, Renée, Mike, Angela and Jacob. I decided to call Angela and give her a quick update on what had happened since I had left her and Ben's place the day before, and also let her know that I wouldn't be over for pizza and a movie that night. The others I could talk to later.

"_Hell__o?"_

"Hey Ben. Is that girlfriend of yours around?"

"_Hi Bella. Sure, __hang on just a minute." _I heard him call Angela. _"Oh, and happy birthday, by the way."_

"Thank you."

"_Here she is." _

I waited as he handed the phone to Angela.

"_Hi sweetie, d__id you get my messages? Where have you been, by the way? I've called you, like, five times."_

"I did and we were at the playground. I forgot my cell at home, sorry."

"_Oh, OK. Are you feeling better today? About the whole E-business."_

I laughed at the way she expressed it, which apparently surprised – and pleased – her.

"_You sure sound happier."_

"I am, Ang. Things seem to be working out."

"_OK, explanation please."_

"Edward came over last night, that's why Alice wanted to talk to me. We talked, and he really wants to be a part of Lily's life. He met her this morning, and she seems to be perfectly fine with everything. She even asked if she could call him dad when we were at the playground earlier." I smiled as I remembered; it had been obvious that Edward had been thrilled at Lily's question. The look on his face had been indescribable.

"_Oh my God, that's so great, Bella. I'm so glad things are looking up."_

"You and me both."

"_So how about that pizza tonight? I can send Ben over in half an hour."_

"That's the other reason I'm calling. Alice really wants to take Lily and me out for dinner tonight, and I thought it would be nice for Lily to get to spend some time with her "new" family. I know Alice is dying to tell Lily that she's her aunt, and I thought tonight would be a good time."

"_Of course, I totally understand. But we are going to __celebrate your birthday; you're not getting out of that!" _I wondered why that sounded more like a threat than a promise…

"I'm not trying to." I assured her. "Next week, I promise."

"_I'll hold you to that. Now go, get pretty."_

"Bye."

Lily and I were both finished when Edward knocked on the door at a quarter past six. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw his old Camaro in the lot.

"I can't believe you still have this." I exclaimed in astonishment.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't give this car up for anything." He sounded almost insulted that I had suggested that he might have parted ways with his beloved car.

"I think it might be easier if we take my car, though." I looked in through the windows to the back seat of the Camaro. "I'm not sure I can get Lily's car seat into the back."

"Oh." His face fell. "I didn't think of that, of course. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I quickly brushed off, trying to prevent him from being too hard on himself. It would take some time for him to get used to all the things that went with having a child – it wasn't something that just popped into your head overnight.

I led the way over to the Accord, opening the back door for Lily. She jumped into her car seat and put her seatbelt on. Charlie had already started teaching her about traffic sense, and she always put her seatbelt on the minute she got in the car.

"No more truck?" Edward asked as I started the engine.

"Charlie made me trade it in for this one. The truck wasn't "suitable", according to him." I was getting along fine with the Accord these days, but occasionally, I still missed my truck. The Accord didn't have character – it was just a car.

"How is Charlie?" Edward wondered curiously.

"He's good. He's even got a G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D." I spelled the last word so that Lily wouldn't start asking questions. I had no desire whatsoever to explain the word to her at the moment – I was hoping to push that as far into the future as possible.

"You're kidding?"

"Nope. Sue Clearwater; she was married to his friend Harry who died a couple of years ago."

"Well, good for him, I guess."

"It's OK to think that it's a little weird." I assured him. "I do. And I've know about it for years." I was glad that Charlie had someone, but I tried very hard not to think too much about it. I definitely didn't need those mental images.

"No, I think it's nice that he's found someone." Edward insisted. "He's been alone for too long."

"Now you sound like Renée." I teased him.

"And how is she?"

"Happy as a clam. She and Phil are still in Jacksonville. She absolutely loves Florida."

"You don't see them much then?" He deduced.

"Not really." I shrugged. "Christmas, summer, and once or twice in between, if we have enough money for plane tickets." Which we usually didn't.

"That's too bad."

"You don't get to see your family that often either, right? With them living in New York, I mean."

"Emmett and Rose I've only seen a couple of times since I moved here, but Carlisle and Esme try to visit every other month or so, if we can't come there." He gave me an evaluative look. "They're actually coming here on Friday, all of them. They'll be staying the weekend."

"Really? It would be nice to see them again." I'd missed them; Rosalie's friendship, Emmett's brotherly protectiveness, Carlisle's gentle ways, Esme's unconditional love. I hadn't realized how much; I hadn't let myself think too much about any of them over the years.

"We haven't told them anything, you know." He glanced over his shoulder at Lily, who was playing with a doll that had been left in the car for some reason. "Alice suggested that we let them meet first, before getting into all the explanations."

That sounded like an excellent plan.

"Sure." Talking about his family reminded me that I should probably tell Charlie and Renée that Edward had become a part of our lives. I was not looking forward to that; I knew that at least Charlie still blamed Edward for leaving.

We arrived at the restaurant then, and I parked the car in an available lot behind Alice's Mini. I could already see her, barely able to stand still on the sidewalk by the entrance.

"You're here!" She exclaimed as we approached. "Happy birthday!" She gave me a big hug before turning her attention to Lily. "Hi Lily."

"Hi aunt Alice." Lily beamed up at Alice. "Are you having dinner with us too?"

"I sure am." Alice took Lily's hand and the two of them walked into the restaurant.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Jasper gave me a quick hug too.

"Thank you."

We followed Alice and Lily into the restaurant, where they had been shown to a corner table by the window. A waitress came over to take our drink orders.

Lily was sitting between me and Alice, almost bouncing in her seat with excitement. We didn't go out for dinner very often, and when we did, it wasn't to a fancy place like this. Since we only went out to eat as a treat for Lily, we usually ended up at Chuck E. Cheese's or someplace like it. It was nice to go to a "grown-up" restaurant for a change.

"Aunt Alice, do you want to know a secret?" Lily asked after a few minutes.

"Sure." Alice leaned down so that Lily could whisper in her ear.

"That's my dad!" I heard her say, pointing at Edward across the table.

"I know." Alice half whispered back and Lily's eyes went wide.

"You do?"

"I do. And do you know why?" Lily shook her head. "Because he's my brother."

"My daddy's your brother?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a smile on Edward's face as he heard her.

"He is. And do you know what that means?" Alice wondered.

"That we're family!" Lily quickly concluded.

"That's right." Alice confirmed.

"That's so cool." I hadn't heard her use that word before, and assumed that she must have picked it up at school. Well, as long as she didn't pick up any offensive words…

"I think so too." Alice said, smiling at Lily.

We had a very nice evening, and I was reminded of the nights we'd used to spend together in Forks, watching movies and eating pizza or Chinese. Surprisingly enough, the memories didn't make me sad at all, and I was glad that I was finally able to remember without having to worry about getting upset. For so long, I had struggled to suppress the memories of those days – some of the happiest of my life – and it had been hard.

Lily fell asleep in the car on the way home, despite the fact that the drive barely took ten minutes. I was about to pick her up out of her car seat when Edward's voice stopped me.

"Do you mind if I carry her upstairs?" He asked, a look of such longing on his face that I neither could nor wanted to deny him.

"Sure."

He picked her up incredibly carefully, like he was afraid that he would break her. I walked ahead of him up the stairs and unlocked the door so he could continue into her room. I followed and watched as he gently removed her denim skirt, tights and top before he placed a kiss on her forehead and put her down on the bed, pulling the covers up over her body.

I felt wave of complete happiness as I watched them.

**Edward**

When Bella had unbuckled Lily's seat belt, I couldn't help but ask.

"Do you mind if I carry her upstairs?"

"Sure."

I picked Lily up from her car seat, afraid to wake her. She shifted a little, her little arms winding around my neck, but her eyes remained closed. I carefully cradled her in my arms and followed Bella up the stairs to their apartment. Lily's little body was so warm in my arms; I never wanted to let her go.

I managed to remove her clothes without letting her go, and stole a quick kiss before I put her down on the bed. When I had tucked her in, I turned around and found Bella leaning against the doorframe.

"I never get sick of watching her sleep." She noted quietly. "She's so relaxed; I doubt she'd notice an earthquake. Must be a kid thing."

"Probably."

We left the room and Bella closed the door quietly behind us.

"When she was little, I used to sit by her crib and watch her sleep. I could sit there for hours." She reminisced, and I felt a sting of pain at having missed that. She looked up at me. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it must feel like to know that you've missed so much of her life. I didn't mean to rub it in like that."

"No, I want to know." I did, no matter how painful it might be. "I want to hear every story you have to tell about her growing up."

"Well, she's still got quite a lot of growing to do." Bella pointed out.

"Yeah. I'm glad I get to be a part of that, at least."

"And, hey. I'll do you one better." She smiled. "Next time we visit Charlie, I'll have him copy all the home movies he's got. He bought a video camera before Lily was born, and he's filmed pretty much everything."

"Yeah?" It would be amazing to watch films of Lily, not just immobile photos.

"Of course. But I have to warn you; there is quite a lot of film of Lily doing absolutely nothing." She yawned, and I realized that it was getting late.

"I should go." I said reluctantly.

"It is kind of late." She agreed, glancing at her watch. The hopeful part of me noted that she didn't say that she actually _wanted_ me to leave. My inner pessimist snickered at that.

"I was just thinking…" I said as we walked to the door. "You don't get off work until, what? Five?"

"Usually around that time, why?"

"Where does Lily go after school?"

"Well, we don't really have a routine down yet, but so far she's been going home with either Angela or Donna, her best friend Catie's mom. Angela works from home, and Donna has afternoons off a couple of days a week." She frowned. "It's not an ideal solution, but…" She shrugged.

"I was thinking that maybe I could pick her up? I mean, only if it's OK with you, of course." I didn't want her to think that I was taking anything for granted. "I work from home, except for meetings with clients, but I can schedule that so it doesn't interfere. The jazz bar I play at doesn't open until nine, and it would be nice to get to spend more time with her than just the odd weekend."

She contemplated this for a moment.

"I guess that would be OK." She finally said, and I let out a sigh of relief. "I know Lily would love it."

"You think so?"

She giggled at the uncertainty in my voice.

"Did you see her today at the playground? She absolutely adores you already."

She did? I felt a surge of contentment, and a smile spread automatically on my face. I was still getting used to not having to force myself to smile.

"So, yeah. That would be fine." She frowned a little. "I would like to check your place first, though. Make sure it's kid proofed. So maybe Tuesday?"

"That would be great." I was so relieved that she hadn't said no.

"I'll stop by on my way from work tomorrow and make sure your place isn't a death trap or anything." She smirked, so I knew she was being sarcastic. At least a little.

"Sure, I'll be there." I wasn't sure if she had my address, so I wrote it down on a piece of paper for her.

"See you tomorrow."

**Bella**

Edward's apartment building wasn't hard to find. I passed a playground just two blocks away, and reminded myself to tell him to take Lily there if he ran out of ideas on how to keep her busy.

"Hey." He opened the door almost before I knocked. "Come on in."

He stepped back, and I walked into the apartment, curiosity getting the better of me. It wasn't anything like I had imagined it, remembering his room in Forks.

The walls were white and bare, the floor covered with carpets of an indeterminable color. The furniture, in black leather, steel and glass, felt impersonal and didn't suit him at all. The only personal thing seemed to be the piano in the corner. I noticed that it was the one he used to have in Forks, and the memory of him playing for me flashed through my mind.

"I went to the store and got some stuff, but I wasn't really sure what I needed." He pointed to a Wal-Mart bag on the coffee table, and I peeked inside. Tot locks, outlet plugs, toilet lid-lock.

"Well, this is all great, but she's five." I laughed at his frown. "All you really need to do is not keep knives and scissors where she can reach them. She knows not to play with them, but just in case. And matches, medicine bottles, detergents, stuff like that. And no funny magazines." I winked at him, and he blushed.

"No, of course not, I don't…"

"Relax. I'm kidding." I interrupted.

"Oh."

"You can take this stuff back. But I suggest getting a couple of games, maybe a movie or two, some crayons and coloring books. Keeping a five-year-old occupied is actually more difficult than it sounds."

"Sure, I'll do that." He nodded eagerly.

I looked around the room.

"I don't think she'll be able to do much damage here, really. You should be fine."

"Great." He sounded relieved.

"But you will need to get a booster seat." I frowned. "Though how you'll be able to get it into the backseat of the Camaro, I don't know."

"Don't worry; I'll take care of it."

"I should get going, Angela's waiting."

He grabbed the Wal-Mart bag off the table.

"I'll walk you down, might as well go back with this stuff right away."

We left the apartment together and walked down the stairs.

"I'll pick her up as soon as I get off from work tomorrow." I assured him as I got in the car.

"That's OK, you don't have to rush."

"Bye." I waved as I pulled out of the parking lot.

**Edward**

"Bye." She waved through the window as she drove away.

I stood looking after her until she disappeared around the corner, then I walked over to the Camaro.

I had to go back to Wal-Mart, return the baby-proofing stuff. I didn't know what I had been thinking when I had gotten them, but the lady in the store had showed me that part of the store when I had said that I needed to kid proof my apartment. I should have looked more closely at the instructions before buying anything.

I went to the complaints and returns desk and got my money back before heading into the store.

I browsed the kid's movies section, trying to figure out what Lily would like. _Harry Potter_, she wasn't old enough for that, right? I chose a couple of movies that seemed more suitable for a five-year-old. Some crayons, three coloring books and a bunch of games later I headed towards the register. As I was about to pay, I remembered that I also needed to get a booster seat for the car. I quickly left the line and went to the baby department, where I remembered having seen a variety of car seats earlier.

I found one that I hoped Lily would like; it was pink and had fairies on it. I checked the product details; three to ten years, that should do.

I carried everything back to the register, paid and left the store.

A few minutes later, I realized that Bella had been right about getting the car seat into the back of the Camaro. There was just no way. And putting Lily in the front seat was not an option.

Only one thing to do then, really.

I put the car seat in the passenger seat for the moment, stuffed the bag with the other things in the back and headed west.

**Bella**

I was a bit anxious on Tuesday afternoon. I knew that Lily would be perfectly fine with Edward, and she had been ecstatic when I had told her that he would be picking her up from school. I tried to convince myself that the nervous knot in my stomach had its origin in the fact that I hadn't left the two of them alone before. I was not about to admit to myself that it was really because I knew that I would see him in a couple of hours. Those thoughts could lead to no good.

I was out of the office mere seconds after five o'clock, rushing to my car. When I got to the lot behind Edward's building, I parked next to a shiny, black Volvo. I noticed a pink car seat in the back; it was just the thing that Lily would love.

I hurried up the stairs and knocked on Edward's door. When it opened, I was momentarily unable to breathe. His hair was unkempt, and there was a big smile on his face. He looked so much like the Edward I remembered that it literally took my breath away.

"Hey, come on in."

I had to shake my head a little to get my mind to start working properly again before I was able to follow him into the apartment. I discovered Lily lying on her stomach on the living room floor, completely absorbed in a game of Chutes and Ladders.

"Hi, baby."

"Hi, mommy. Can I finish playing?" She didn't even look up at me as she spoke.

"Sure."

Edward sat down opposite her on the floor, and I watched as they finished the game. I could tell that Edward was letting her win, "accidentally" landing on the wrong square and sliding back down the board. Lily didn't notice, of course, and was thrilled when her plastic Dora reached the last square first.

"I won, mommy!" She happily exclaimed, beaming up at me.

"That's great, baby. We have to get going now, though."

Two pairs of eyes, one green and one brown, but both as disappointed, looked up at me. I felt like the big, bad wolf eating Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother.

"Come on, kiddo." Edward got up, grabbed Lily by the waist and carried her upside-down to the door. She shrieked with laughter.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" She asked when he had put her down, right-side up, on the floor. She looked up at me, a hopeful expression on her face.

"Of course, sweetie." I assured her. "I told you that your dad would be picking you up every day after school, didn't I?"

She nodded.

"Can I ride in the pink car seat again? In the Vovlo?" She beamed at Edward.

"Sure you can, that's your seat now." He told her, rumpling her hair with one hand.

I connected the words with the car I had seen in the lot.

"You got a new car?" I asked incredulously.

"The Camaro wouldn't work." He shrugged. "You were right about the car seat not fitting in the back."

"So you traded it in for a Volvo?" Hadn't he said that he wouldn't give his car up for anything?

"Of course not. I got the Volvo too."

"Oh. A second car."

"Yeah."

He made it sound like it was no big deal. And maybe to him, it wasn't. How well did writing jingles pay, anyway? Undoubtedly a lot better than my job did.

"OK, great. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, daddy!" Lily waved.

"Bye, princess."

xxxxx

When Lily had fallen asleep that night, I forced myself to pick up the phone and call Charlie. I had already talked to Renée, who had been skeptical but supportive of my choice of letting Edward be a part of Lily's life; I did not expect Charlie to be as reasonable.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Sue, is my dad around somewhere?"

"_Sure, hang on a minute__. And happy birthday, sweetie."_

"Thanks."

It took Charlie only a moment to get to the phone. I could hear the TV on in the background; he was probably watching some game or other.

"_Hey, Bells. What's up?"_

So not the question I wanted.

"Quite a lot, actually." I fiddled with a magazine on the table in front of me, pondering how to bring up the subject.

"_Right, Lily's first week in school. How did it go? She's excited, I suppose.__" _He chuckled a little._ "I remember when you started first grade; it was all you could talk about for weeks."_

"She really loves it." OK, might as well use the opening. "You'll never guess who her teacher is."

"_Who?"_

"Alice."

He was quiet so long that I started to wonder if he had hung up.

"Dad? You still there?"

"_Alice Cullen?"_

"That's right."

"_What is she doing in Seattle?"_

"She lives here." Obviously.

"_Oh."_

"Edward's here too." I bit my lip, waiting for Charlie's reaction to the news. He didn't disappoint me.

"_Is he now?"_ His voice was suddenly icy. _"I hope you're keeping him well away from my granddaughter."_

"Dad!"

"_I don't want him anywhere near her after what he did__ to you!"_

"That's not really your call, is it? And you don't know everything that happened back then. It wasn't all his fault."

"_That's what you say."_ He muttered. _"And I know enough; I know that he left you broken hearted without any way of contacting him. Is that the kind of father you want for Lily?"_

I took a deep breath and decided to ignore that.

"Anyway, he's great with her. And she absolutely adores him."

He apparently didn't know what to say to that.

"I just wanted to fill you in on the situation. I understand if you feel like you can't accept it, but you'll just have to deal with the fact that Edward's going to be a part of our lives from now on." And if he couldn't do that…

He contemplated that for a moment.

"_I guess you're right, it's not__ my decision to make." _He admitted._ "But that doesn't mean that I have to like it!"_

"All I ask is that you're civil to him when Lily's around."

"_I can do that. And Bells? Please, be careful."_

I got the impression that he wasn't talking about Lily any more.

**Edward**

On Thursday afternoon, Bella and Lily stayed for dinner so that we could talk to Lily about what was happening that Saturday. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were flying in to Sea-Tac at six the following day, and we would all be going to Alice and Jasper's for lunch on Saturday, which was when Bella and Lily would join us.

Bella helped me get dinner ready while Lily watched television in the living room.

"You seem comfortable in the kitchen." Bella noted after a while.

"You can't live with Esme for eighteen years and not pick something up." I shrugged.

She laughed at that.

"I guess that's true."

We continued to work in comfortable silence, moving around each other in the limited space. It felt completely natural, like we'd done it for years.

After dinner, we sat down on the couch in the living room. I let Bella lead the conversation.

"You know how grandpa Charlie and grandma Renée are my parents, Lily?" She started.

"Uh-huh." Lily nodded.

"Well, your dad's parents are your grandparents too." Bella continued.

"I have two grandpas and two grandmas?"

She was definitely quick-witted.

"That's right." Bella confirmed. "And they're coming to visit this weekend, along with your dad's brother, his wife and their little boy."

"I have a cousin?" An excited smile spread on her face. "Catie has a cousin. Can I play with him?"

Both Bella and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

"He's just a baby, so not right now. But maybe in a couple of years." I told her.

"I can't wait to tell Catie I have a cousin too!"

"Would you like to meet them, your grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousin?" Bella wondered, and Lily nodded her head vigorously.

"Uh-huh, can I?"

I had been afraid that the prospect of meeting so many new people would overwhelm her, but she once again surprised me.

"Sure, honey. We'll see them on Saturday, OK?" Bella told her.

"OK."

Lily seemed satisfied with this, because she turned her attention to the coloring book in front of her.

"That went well." I noted quietly, and Bella nodded.

**Alice**

Edward and I met our parents and Emmett and Rosalie at the airport; Jasper had to work late so he couldn't go with us. I was bursting to tell them about Lily, but we had agreed to wait until the next day; and it had actually been my idea, so I'd better stick to it. I knew that mom would be thrilled, and dad wouldn't be able to not be excited once he met Lily. She would wrap all of them around her little finger in no time, just like she already had with the rest of us.

"Mom! Dad!" I called as I spotted them in the crowd, waving over my head to catch their attention. "Over here!"

They quickly made their way over and mom wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Oh, honey." She mumbled. "It's been too long."

"We were in New York five weeks ago, mom." I pointed out, carefully slipping out of her embrace to hug dad. "Hi, dad."

"Hello sweetheart."

"Exactly. Way too long!" Mom moved to Edward, who willingly returned her hug.

"Hey there, kiddos, how's it hanging?" Emmett enveloped me in one of his bone breaking hugs, lifting me at least a foot off the ground, and I had to struggle to breath.

"Pretty good, bro." Edward replied in my place, causing everyone to raise their eyebrows at him. It had been a long time since they had heard Edward sound so… happy, that was the word I was looking for.

"Rose!" I hugged her tightly, while making sure not to jostle the baby in her arms. "Oh, he's gotten so big!"

"The kid grows like weeds." Emmett noted. "He'll be chasing girls in no time."

"Oh no, not for a long time." Rosalie objected, nuzzling Noah's hair. "He'll be my little boy for a while still."

"Come on, let's get out of here." Edward said, slapping Emmett on the back. The two of them, along with dad, headed off towards the exit with the two luggage carts. Me, mom, Rosalie and the baby brought up the rear.

"Edward seems more cheerful than usual." Rosalie noted quietly.

"I haven't seen him like this in years." Mom added.

"I know." I had, of course, noted the rise in my brother's mood in the past week. Of course, Lily was responsible for a lot of that, but I thought there was another reason too… or at least I hoped so. "I think he's finally coming out of the gloom."

"He hasn't met someone, has he?" Mom asked optimistically.

"Oh, I hope so." I said, smiling.

**Edward**

To say that I was fidgeting in my seat during lunch that Saturday would have been an enormous understatement. The closer we got to Bella and Lily arriving, the more nervous I got. More than once, Alice kicked my shins under the table to try to get me to stay still. It didn't work, of course, but I was sure to have a couple of nice bruises as a result.

When Alice started clearing the table, she gave me a pointed look, and I grabbed a few plates and followed her into the kitchen.

"Will you cut it out!" She hissed as soon as we were out of earshot. "They're going to think you've developed adult ADD or something."

"I'm nervous." I hissed back.

"Oh, come on. It'll be fine." She surveyed me briefly. "Do I need to slap you?"

"I'm fine." I replied dryly.

"You're clearly not fine, but whatever." She started loading the dishwasher. "Why don't you text Bella, let her know that the coast is clear?"

"OK." I pulled my cell from my pocket and quickly sent Bella a text message. A moment later, my phone chirped.

_OK, we're on our way_

"They're on their way."

"OK. Now you go back out there and try to convince our poor parents that you're not insane!" She gave me a push in the direction of the family room, and I grudgingly did as she told me.

Esme did give me a curious look when I reentered the room, and I tried to smile at her in a comforting way. I probably failed, because she frowned, looking even more concerned.

When Alice returned from the kitchen, we relocated to the couch. The girls fussed over the baby, while Emmett and Jasper started discussing the latest football game. I tried to pay attention, but every few seconds, my eyes darted to the hallway.

Ten minutes later, I got another text message.

_We're outside_

I shot Alice a look, and she nodded, getting up from the couch. We had agreed that Bella should come in first, and Alice was going to wait outside with Lily in the meantime.

"Where are you going?" Esme wondered when she spotted Alice on her way out of the room.

"I'll just be a minute, mom."

Alice left the apartment, and a moment later, there was a timid knock on the door. I got up to answer it.

"We asked a friend over, I hope that's OK." I heard Jasper say behind me. I shot a glance over my shoulder and saw Esme and Carlisle's confused faces.

Bella looked about as nervous as I felt when I opened the door for her – and that was saying something.

"Hey." She mumbled, glancing down the hallway in the direction of the living room as if she was looking at a lion's den.

"Hey." I replied. I wanted to reach out and smooth the worried crease between her eyebrows, but controlled myself.

"Might as well just get this over with, right?" She said, trying to sound brave and failing miserably.

"Come on." I placed my hand on the small of her back to lead her into the living room, allowing myself that small amount of physical contact. The ever present electrical current between us almost stung my hand, but I didn't shy away from the warmth of her skin that I could feel through the fabric of her shirt.

"…not sure what he's…" Esme was saying, but cut herself off when she spotted Bella. "Bella?"

"Hi, Esme." Bella offered her a small smile. "Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie."

"Oh, I've missed you, sweetheart." Esme was on her feet and pulling Bella into a tight hug in an instant.

"I've missed you too." Bella mumbled, her arms tight around Esme's waist. "All of you."

I stood by and watched as the rest of my family hugged Bella, cursing the fact that I wasn't able to do the same, when it was all I wanted.

"What are you doing here?" Rosalie asked when the hug-a-palooza was finally over, pulling Bella down next to her on the couch.

"I live here, have for several years." Bella replied. "You can only put up with so much of Forks."

"What are you doing these days?" Esme wondered.

"I'm in marketing."

"Is that how you two met again?" Esme looked over at me.

"Actually, no." Bella glanced at me. "That's a bit of a longer story, and the reason why I'm here, really."

I could see confusion on the faces of my family.

"There's someone we'd like you to meet." I said, as Bella got up and walked out of the room.

Alice came back into the room a moment later, followed by Bella and Lily. I moved to stand on Lily's other side, automatically wanting to protect her from the prying eyes in the room, even if they did belong to my family.

The room went completely silent, all eyes on the three of us.

**AN: Did you notice the second "intended" movie reference? Just couldn't help myself…**


	25. 25 Surprise!

**AN: Sorry about the cliffy in the last chapter guys, but I couldn't re****sist! Here's the next chapter – how will the Cullens react? Let me know how **_**you**_** react…**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them, but I finally got tickets to the midnight premiere of **_**New Moon**_** on the 19****th****!**

**25 – ****Surprise!**

**Bella**

"There's someone we'd like you to meet." Edward said, and I knew that this was it.

I went to get Lily, who was waiting in the hallway with Alice. My heart thudded violently, and I tried not to let how nervous I actually was show.

"Come on, sweetie." I took Lily's hand in mine and followed Alice back into the living room.

Everybody stared at us, immobile and silent. You could have heard a pin drop, the room was so quiet. Edward came over to stand on Lily's other side, and I was grateful for his silent support. I really wanted to reach out and take his hand, to make sure that he was actually there, but I restrained myself.

Esme was the first to react. She got up from the couch, walked over to us and slowly crouched down in front of Lily.

"Hello, sweetheart." She said smilingly.

"Hi." Lily squeezed my hand even harder, and her other hand came up to supply a thumb for her mouth, like she did when she was nervous, but she didn't look away from Esme.

"I'm Esme, what's your name?"

"Lily." The thumb went back in.

"That's a very pretty name."

"It's a flower." Lily informed her.

"It is. I think it suits you very well."

Edward pulled a strand of hair behind Lily's ear, and she looked up at him before turning her attention back to Esme.

"Are you my daddy's mommy?"

"I am." Esme confirmed.

Lily tilted her head to the side for a moment, as if pondering something. The thumb slipped out of her mouth, and I knew that the initial nervousness was over.

"I already have a grandma, my grandma Renée, but you can be my grandma too if you want." She finally said.

"I would like that very much, sweetheart." Esme smiled even wider, and I could see a few tears in her eyes.

Lily looked curiously over Esme's shoulder at the other unfamiliar faces in the room, bolder now that the initial anxiety of meeting so many new people was gone. Esme stood back up, and we all went over to the couch. I sat down between Esme and Carlisle and Lily climbed into my lap. Edward and Alice each claimed one of the armchairs.

Lily didn't seem to mind – or maybe she didn't notice – that all the eyes in the room were focused on her. She was leaning across Carlisle, looking curiously at Noah who was asleep in a bassinette in the corner of the couch.

"Would you like a closer look?" Carlisle wondered.

Lily looked up at him, and nodded after a moment. Carlisle lifted her from my lap to his own, so that she was sitting right next to the bassinette.

"Can I touch him?" She asked reverently, one hand already outstretched.

"You have to be very careful." Rosalie said, leaning in to show her. "Like this." She brushed her finger lightly over Noah's cheek, and Lily mimicked her action.

"He's so tiny." She looked over her shoulder at me. "I was never that tiny."

"Sure you were. Even smaller." I told her, and a disbelieving look appeared on her face. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Nu-huh." Her attention turned back to the sleeping baby, and I didn't contradict her. "Does he always sleep?"

"Definitely not." Emmett chuckled.

"Hey, Rose, weren't you talking about taking him out for a walk?" Alice said, giving Rosalie a meaningful look. I wondered what they were up to.

"That's right." Rosalie agreed, nodding. "Would you like to come, Lily? You can push the stroller if you want."

Aha. Time for some grown up talk.

"Can I, mommy?" Lily asked, looking up at me with bright eyes. "Please!"

"Sure, baby." I ruffled her hair.

"Yay!" She jumped down from Carlisle's lap and bounded over to Alice.

"Let's go then." Rosalie picked up Noah from the bassinette and Alice took Lily's hand before they left the room. After a moment, I heard the front door open and close.

**Edward**

"Hey, Rose, weren't you talking about taking him out for a walk?" Alice looked meaningfully over at Rosalie. Thank you, sis. I knew Esme was bursting with questions, but they would have to wait until Lily wasn't in the room.

"That's right." Rosalie nodded, catching Alice's meaning. "Would you like to come, Lily? You can push the stroller if you want."

"Can I, mommy?" Lily eagerly asked Bella. "Please!"

"Sure, baby."

"Yay!" Lily got down from Carlisle's lap and stopped next o Alice.

"Let's go then." Rosalie said.

Alice took Lily by the hand and Rosalie picked up Noah. They left the room, and a moment later, the front door closed behind them.

"How long have you been hiding this from us?" I could see the accusation in Esme's eyes as she stared at me. I was about to answer, but Bella beat me to it.

"It's not his fault, Esme." She said. "He didn't find out until last week."

"What?" Esme's eyes turned to Bella, but they were no longer accusing.

"I didn't know when you left Forks." Bella explained. "I didn't find out until more than a month later, and I couldn't get a hold of any of you."

"Oh, sweetheart." Esme squeezed Bella's hand.

"It's OK. I mean, sure, it was hard. You know Forks." Bella shrugged, but I saw a flash of pain as she recalled those months.

I hated picturing what Bella had had to go through; the kids in school, the adults around town who should have known better but who had probably been even more judgmental. It couldn't have been easy.

"She's five and a half?" Carlisle asked, and Bella nodded.

"Almost. She was born on May twenty-third."

"It must have been difficult for you." Esme said, her eyes soft with concern.

"It was." Bella nodded. "But I haven't regretted it for one moment."

A cold hand grasped my chest as I realized what she meant, the kind of choice that she'd had to make. I hadn't actually considered the fact that the situation could have had a very different outcome. I quickly averted my thoughts, not wanting to consider the possibility of that amazing little girl not existing.

"I managed to graduate, a little late, but still. Then I worked at Newton's for a year before going to Seattle U." Bella was saying when I turned my attention back to the conversation. "Lily's always been an easy child, so it wasn't as hard as I had imagined, even if it wasn't a walk in the park. But I had Charlie, and my friends. Not many of them, but a few. We got through it."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." Esme hugged Bella tightly.

"It's OK, Esme. Everything's worked out now. Thanks to Alice, really."

"How do you mean?" Carlisle wondered.

"Well, Alice is Lily's first grade teacher, so that's how we met again." Bella explained. "Lily's started school a year early, so she would be able to go with her best friend." She continued.

"I can imagine how surprised you must have been to see her." Esme said, and Bella laughed.

"You have no idea."

"Well, I'm glad that coincidence made your paths cross, or we might never have gotten to meet Lily." Esme said gratefully.

"So am I." Bella agreed.

I was relieved that she didn't tell them about our first meeting; I didn't want them to know how I'd initially reacted. I was still ashamed of that.

"Do you have photos?" Carlisle wondered eagerly.

"I think the CD you burned for Alice is around here somewhere." Jasper got up from the couch and kneeled down in front of the TV, producing a disc from the shelf underneath the DVD-player. "Here it is."

He inserted the disc in the DVD, and Bella commented on the pictures as they flashed across the screen.

Alice and Rosalie returned with Lily and Noah when we had just turned the television off.

"He's awake, mommy, look." Lily told Bella excitedly. "Aunt Rosalie said that I can watch him eat."

Rosalie had given the baby to Emmett and gone into the kitchen to heat up a bottle. She came back into the living room and sat down next to Emmett, who handed her back the baby.

"Do you want to sit over here so you can see better?" Rosalie asked Lily, who nodded and crawled up on the couch next to her.

"What's he eating?" Lily asked after a moment.

"Breast milk." Rosalie told her, and Lily wrinkled her nose. Everyone laughed. "It's what all babies eat." Rosalie added.

"He doesn't like chicken nuggets?"

"He's too little to eat chicken nuggets yet, but I'm sure he'll like it when he's older."

"I bet he will."

Lily watched intently as Rosalie finished feeding Noah, but when he had fallen asleep in his bassinette again, she started fidgeting on the couch. I realized that she was getting bored just sitting around.

"How about a walk down to the park?" I suggested. I knew there was a playground there to keep Lily occupied for a while.

Rosalie, Alice and Jasper opted to stay home with the baby, but the rest of us headed off towards the park. Esme and Bella walked ahead of the rest of us with Lily, who skipped along the sidewalk, excited to go to the playground.

"I've got to hand it to you, bro." Emmett said after a moment, chuckling. "You do know how to pass on those genes."

"He's right." Carlisle agreed. "It's almost frightening how much she looks like you."

"I know." I hadn't gotten used to it myself yet.

"I know you haven't had much time to adapt, but how is the whole parenting thing going so far?" Carlisle wanted to know.

"Good, I think. Or at least I hope so." I chuckled. "She's so easy to interact with, she accepted me immediately, without hesitation."

"You get to spend some time with her, then?" Carlisle asked.

"I pick her up from school every day, and then Bella takes her home when she gets off from work."

"Good." Carlisle nodded. "I'm glad you'll get more than just weekends with her."

**Bella**

I could tell that Lily's interest in the sleeping baby was wearing off, and was just about to suggest playing a game or something when Edward proposed a walk to the park.

Esme, Carlisle and Emmett decided to go with us, and we left the apartment.

Lily started skipping down the street in the direction of Golden Gardens, and Esme looped her arm with mine as we followed, the guys a short distance behind us.

"She's an amazing girl, Bella, you've done exceptionally well with her." She said after a moment.

"Thanks, Esme." I smiled at her gratefully.

"And I'm glad to see that this has had a positive effect on my son." She continued.

"How do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"Edward hasn't been himself since we left Forks." Esme replied, not quite repeating Alice's words but close enough. "He tried not to let us know, but I did, of course. A mother always knows, you'll understand that soon enough. He hasn't been happy for a long time. Today, I've seen him smile more than I have in the past six years put together. That little girl has brought him back to life."

I felt a lump form in my throat at her words. What I had thought I'd seen in the coffee shop hadn't been that far off, then.

"And I'm glad to see that you're doing well." Esme changed the subject, distracting me.

"I am. Work's good, I've got my friends and my family, Lily's happy."

"No boys in the picture?" She asked teasingly.

"There aren't that many out there that would go for the two for one deal." I replied, only slightly embarrassed.

"I supposed that's true." She agreed, and I thought I saw a hint of relief in her eyes before she turned her gaze to Lily. It was probably nothing.

"Look, mommy, seagulls!" Lily exclaimed ahead of us, pointing towards the beach.

"I see them, baby."

She took off in chase of the birds, but they naturally lifted and flew away when she got too close. She continued further down on the sand, closer to the water.

"Don't get you shoes wet!" I called to her, but wasn't sure she was listening to me. When she was distracted, she had a tendency to tune everything else out.

She went as close to the water as she could without stepping in it, and then ran backwards, laughing, when the waves rolled in. I knew she would eventually end up knee deep in the water, and was about to call for her to come back up on the path when Edward swept past me and Esme. He picked Lily up and threw her over his shoulder before walking in the direction of the playground.

"Put me down, put me down!" Lily shrieked, laughing so hard I could barely discern her words.

He did as she asked when they got to the swing set, and she quickly got on one of the swings. Edward began pushing it.

"Higher, daddy, higher!" I could see the smile on both their faces even from a distance.

Esme and I sat down at a picnic table at the edge of the playground, Carlisle joining us a minute later. Emmett went over to the swing set and helped Edward push Lily's swing. We watched while the two grown men played with the five-year-old.

"They really are like children." Esme noted in an amused, but loving, voice.

Carlisle laughed.

"Boys will be boys."

**Edward**

When we got back to the apartment, Rosalie and Alice had fixed dinner. After we had finished eating, Alice turned on a movie for Lily and the rest of us sat around, talking.

Bella and Lily left at eight; Lily could barely keep her eyes open. The trip to the playground had exhausted her. Before they left, we made plans to meet up at the aquarium the next day.

"Well, that was quite a surprise, son." Carlisle noted when I returned to the living room after having walked Bella and Lily to the door.

"You're telling me?" I slumped down on the couch between Emmett and Esme.

"At least they're handling it a lot better than you did at first." Alice pointed out, and I shot her an evil glare. I had been hoping that we could avoid that subject.

"What do you mean, Alice?" Esme wondered.

"He just took off, didn't answer his phone for about seven hours." She shot me a teasing look. "Just as well, probably, since I might have beaten you to death if I had found you."

"Thank you, Alice." I said sarcastically.

"You didn't?" Esme asked, obviously appalled. "I'm very disappointed in you."

"I was shocked!" I tried to defend myself. "Can you blame me?"

"I thought we raised you better than that."

I couldn't handle the disappointment in Esme's voice.

"I'm sorry, mom." I pleaded with her. "But you have to understand what it was like. First seeing Bella, after so long, and then this, I just… I couldn't think straight."

"Well, I'm glad that you apparently managed to make up for your behavior." Carlisle noted.

"I'm just glad she gave me a second chance." I remembered the mind numbing fear in the pit of my stomach when I had been standing outside Bella's door that night, afraid that she wouldn't give me a chance to explain.

"I think I'm the one you should be thanking for that, actually." Alice piped in.

"Thank you, Alice." No sarcasm this time.

Esme had apparently decided to forgive me.

"I'm so glad that you found them." She patted me on the knee.

"Again, that would be me." Alice really was modest. Esme ignored her.

"Now, tell me the truth." She looked me intently in the eyes. "How are you handling this?"

"Good, mom, really." I knew I hadn't been able to fool her completely with my act during the past six years, and I hoped she could see that I wasn't acting now. "Great, even."

"Good." She squeezed my hand, apparently satisfied. "Nobody deserves it more than you."

xxxxx

The next morning, Alice and Emmett went with me to the hardware store and then to IKEA and Wal-Mart. Esme had suggested that I should turn my spare room – which I now used as a study – into a bedroom for Lily, so that she could spend the night sometimes. That seemed like a very good idea, and I thought I'd might as well take advantage of Emmett while he was there and at least get the painting done.

We were back at my apartment by noon with not only paint and brushes, but also rugs, furniture, curtains, lamps and a bunch of other stuff.

At two in the afternoon, when we had to leave to go to the aquarium, we had finished painting. I would have to put together the furniture and fix everything else later, but Alice promised to help me.

Esme and Carlisle monopolized Lily the whole time we were at the aquarium. I couldn't blame them; they were leaving just a few hours later, after all, and didn't know when they were visiting again. Though I had a feeling they would be flying in a lot more often from now on, for some reason.

When we had seen everything there was to see, it was time to head to the airport. Bella and Lily went with us.

"Bye, sweetheart, I hope to see you soon." Esme gave Lily a big hug at security.

"Bye, grandma."

Esme put her down and planted a kiss on her cheek before turning to Bella.

"Goodbye, honey. It was so incredibly good to see you again." They hugged as well.

Alice and Jasper were next, and then she stopped in front of me. I bent down and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"Goodbye, my darling." She mumbled in my ear. "Take good care of them."

"I will, mom." I assured her.

"Come on, Esme." Carlisle urged. "It's time to go."

They went through security, waved again, and were gone.

"When are they coming back?" Lily wondered when we were walking back to the cars.

"I don't know, baby." Bella replied.

"Can we go see them? I like planes."

"I know you do." Bella ruffled her hair. "We'll have to see, OK?"

We drove back to the aquarium in silence; Bella's car was still parked in the lot there.

"We're going to Angela and Ben's for dinner tonight." Bella said as we stopped.

"Tell them hi from me." I hadn't seen them yet, but knew that they were aware of my presence in Bella and Lily's lives.

"I was actually thinking that maybe you'd like to go with us? Angela's been nagging me to invite you over all week. Unless you already have plans, of course."

"Nope, no plans." But if I'd had any, I would have cancelled. Anything to get to spend more time with her and Lily.

"Great." Bella got out of the car and helped Lily out from the backseat. "Is seven OK for you?"

"Sure."

I spent the time I had to spare decorating the walls in what was to be Lily's room. I had decided on white for the color of the walls, but had bought something called wallies, which was a bunch of dots in different sizes and colors, that attached to the wall.

When I had finished attaching the dots, I got the two rugs, which were soft and hot pink, and put them on the floor. It looked nice, and with some furniture it would be even better.

But that would have to wait.

I took a quick shower, threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and headed out the door.

"Hi, come on in." Bella greeted, stepping aside to let me in the door. "I just have to fix Lily's hair, and we'll be ready to go."

"OK." I closed the door behind me and followed her into the living room.

"Braid or pony tail?" Bella asked Lily, who was focused on the coloring book in front of her.

"Pony tail." She announced, looking up. "Hi, daddy!"

I knew I would never get sick of hearing that.

"Hey there, princess."

Bella brushed through Lily's hair before pulling it into a pony tail on top of her head, tying a pink ribbon around it.

"OK, all done."

We left the apartment, and I headed for the car, but Bella's hand on my arm stopped me.

"It's only three blocks, we can walk."

"OK."

She removed her hand, and I immediately missed her touch.

Get a grip!

Angela was all smiles when we got there, surprising me by giving even me a hug. Ben seemed a little more wary.

"Come on in, the food's almost done." Angela ushered us into a combined living-dining room.

"You have a very nice apartment." I complimented, looking around the room.

"Thank you." Angela beamed at me, and then shot Ben a look across the room.

**Angela**

"They'll be here any minute!" I checked on the food, and then glared at Ben. "Will you promise to behave?"

"I don't see why we have to invite him into our home." He grumbled.

"Because he's Lily's father." I pointed out. "And if Bella – the one who was actually hurt – can get over the past, you should be able to do it too."

"Well, maybe she shouldn't be so quick to forgive and forget." He objected.

"That's her choice, though."

The doorbell rang, and I gave Ben one last stern look before opening the door.

"Hi, welcome." I smiled and hugged Bella and Lily, and a surprised Edward. "Come on in, the food's almost done."

I ushered them into the living room, and shot another glare at Ben, who ignored me.

"You have a very nice apartment." Edward complimented.

"Thank you." I beamed at him, and then gave Ben another, pointless, look. "Have a seat, please. Will you help me in the kitchen, Ben?"

He followed me into the kitchen.

"Look, I'm not saying you have to like the guy, but Lily's in the room." I chastised him quietly. "She can probably sense the animosity rolling off you, can you at least try to hide it?"

"Fine." He agreed. "But just for Lily."

"That's all I'm asking."

The timer went off then, and I quickly took the steak from the oven.

"Get the vegetables, will you?"

We had a very nice dinner, despite Ben not speaking directly to Edward unless he actually addressed him specifically. I could tell that Bella noticed this, but Lily actually didn't seem to be aware of it. She was excitedly telling Ben and me about her "new" grandparents, and her aunt and uncle and cousin, and their visit to the aquarium earlier in the day.

"We watched them feed the seals, didn't we mommy?"

"We sure did, baby."

"I bet that was exciting." I smiled at Lily. She really had a soft spot for animals, no matter the size and shape.

"Uh-huh."

After we finished eating, Bella helped me clear the table.

"Ben isn't in his best mood today." She noted dryly while she helped me load the dishwasher.

"He's just worried about you, honey. I know he acts like a jerk about it, but he means well. He was there, remember?"

I knew she knew what I was talking about, and wasn't sure if it was a good thing to bring it up. But she seemed to be OK with it, and, for the first time that I could remember, she didn't flinch from the reference to those days. Maybe having Edward back in her life was good in more ways than one… And, hopefully, in a not too distant future, in a very particular way as well.

"Well, you can tell him that he can stop worrying." Bella replied, looking at the plate in her hands. "There's nothing going on between me and Edward, he's just spending time with his daughter."

"I know that."

For the moment.

I might have to do something about that… By the way they were looking at each other when they thought the other didn't see, there were definitely still feelings there, on both sides.

But I knew Bella wasn't very likely to act on it, unless someone gave her a little push in the right direction, and from what I had seen during dinner, neither was Edward. And I was determined that they would make it this time, if I had to chain them together.

**Edward**

Dinner was very nice, even if I soon realized that Ben was far from happy to have me there. We hadn't really known each other that well back in Forks, the only times we had really talked at all had been during the few double dates that Bella and Angela had initiated, so I wasn't sure what his problem was.

The girls were in the kitchen, cleaning up, when Ben suddenly turned to Lily.

"Why don't you go help your mom and aunt Angela in the kitchen?" He suggested.

"OK." Lily jumped off her chair and skipped out of the room.

"I didn't want her in the room for this." He said quietly, glaring at me.

"Look, Ben, I don't know what it is you have against me, but…"

"Are you kidding me?" He looked furious, but kept his voice low, every now and then glancing towards the hallway to make sure Lily wasn't on her way back. "I was there! I saw the mess you left behind; I helped Angela put the pieces back together. And if you think for an instant that I have any intention of watching her go through something like that again because of you, you are dead wrong."

I realized that he was talking about Bella.

"Look, Ben, I know you're friends, and I really appreciate everything you've done for Bella and Lily, but I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"That's what you say now." He huffed. "You broke her. She may look put together now, but deep down, she's still damaged, and she always will be. Because of you."

It hurt to hear him say it, but at the same time, a small part of me rejoiced in knowing that Bella had been as affected by our break-up as I had been. I had never completely let myself believe that what she had said that day could have meant something else than the actual words. But if she had been hurt by me leaving, she must have had a different reason for saying that. Even if those feelings were long gone by now, it felt good to know that she had still loved me back then.

"Look, I know you mean well, and that's the only reason I haven't knocked you unconscious yet." Ben shrank a little from my menacing tone. "I'm just going to say this once, and you're going to listen. I love that little girl with my whole heart, every fiber of my being. I would never abandon her, because I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her. Now, it's up to you if you believe that or not."

He sat silent for a moment, then nodded.

"I believe you. And what about Bella?"

"There's nothing between us, except for what I hope will be friendship one day. I have no intention of changing that."

Not because I didn't want to.

"I see the way you're looking at her." He objected.

"I didn't say I that I didn't _want_ to do anything about it, I said that I _wouldn't_. There's a difference." I sighed. "Even if she for some unfathomable reason would ever consider letting me into her life like that again, which she won't, I'm not going to risk it." I couldn't deal with the kind of pain that losing her again would undoubtedly bring, and if Ben was right, then maybe neither could she. And that was two hearts too many to gamble with.

"But you're still in love with her."

It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, well, that's my problem."

xxxxx

The next day, I finished getting Lily's room ready, and was done by the time I had to leave to pick her up from school. I was happy with the result, but I wanted Bella to see the room before I showed it to Lily, so I closed the door before leaving the apartment.

On Wednesday, I got my shot. Lily was going home with Catie to play after school, and I called Bella at her office.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, it's me."

"_Hey."_

"I was just wondering if you could stop by on your way home from work?"

"_Eh, sure, I guess. Why?"_

"You'll see you when you get here." I hedged, wanting it to be a surprise.

"_OK…"_ I could hear the poorly hidden curiosity in her voice.

"Great, see you later." I hung up before she had a chance to ask. I knew that she would be annoyed that I hadn't offered a decent explanation, but it wouldn't hurt her to wonder a little.

**Bella**

Now what was he up to?

I hung up the phone and tried to focus on my work, but it quickly became impossible. _You'll see when you get here_… my thoughts instantly started to wander, but I quickly reined them in. There was no need to jump to conclusions only to be disappointed.

I managed to get at least some work done, but by five thirty, I gave up. Lily was at Catie's and would be having dinner there, so I really wasn't in any hurry to leave, but curiosity got the better of me, and I headed to the car.

It took him a moment to open the door, and I again wondered what he was up to.

"Hey, come on in." There was an expectant smile on his face. As was the case whenever he smiled at me, my heart stuttered a little. I was eternally grateful that he couldn't hear it.

I walked past him and eyed the apartment suspiciously. Everything seemed normal.

"In here, come on." He led the way to what I had figured he was using as an office and opened the door.

"Wow!" I was astonished. I had caught glimpses of the room before; a couple of bookcases, a desk with a computer, a chair. Your average home office.

"Do you like it?" He asked nervously. "Do you think Lily will like it?"

"She's going to love it." I replied honestly.

The room was completely different.

The walls were a soft, white shade and covered with dozens of different size dots of every imaginable color. There were two pink rugs on the floor on either side of an equally pink bed – with a pink bedside table. A canopy just like the one Lily had at home hung around the bed and two pink, flower-shaped lamps were attached to the wall above it. Beneath the window, there was a pink and white desk with a purple chair and next to it a toy box with Disney princesses on it. Against the opposite wall there were two bookcases with pink and purple drawers; a couple of soft toys and a few books already in place on the shelves. Next to the built-in closet – which now had flowers of different colors attached to it – there was a pink and red dresser with three drawers, and a white rocking chair was in one of the corners. The curtains were purple with pink butterflies, and I saw Glow in the dark stars in the ceiling above the bed.

"Wow!" I repeated. "When did you have time to do all this?"

"Emmett and Alice helped me paint on Sunday, and then I put the furniture together on Monday." He looked around the room. "You really think she'll like it?"

"Of course." I gave him a mock accusing look. "She'll never want to leave."

"God, I'm sorry." He instantly looked apologetic. "I should have talked to you before I did this, but when Esme suggested that I turn this room into a bedroom for Lily, I just…"

"It's fine." I cut him off, amused. "She should have a room here where she can sleep."

"Are you sure? Because I can…"

"Yes, I'm sure, now stop it!" I tried to look stern, and it worked.

"OK, thank you."

My stomach started to growl, and I took that as a sign that it was time to head home and fix some dinner.

"I should go. Lily might be having dinner at Catie's, but I still need to eat."

"I was just about to head out for Thai food." He said quickly. "There's this great place on Broadway, if you want to join me?"

Thai food did sound really good. I definitely wasn't looking forward to going home to an empty apartment and I hated cooking for just myself. And the thought of spending a little more time with him wasn't exactly repellant… OK, it was more than not repellant. In fact, it was probably much more pleasant than was healthy, but I wouldn't let my mind explore that particular venue closer.

"OK." I decided that I could be spontaneous for one night.

The food turned out to be amazing. We hadn't really spent much time alone together, and I was surprised at how easily we fell back into our old banter. It was like the past six years hadn't happened, and we were out on another Friday night in Forks.

When we left the restaurant after two hours, I could have sworn that he was about to take my hand, but stopped himself at the last second. I decided that – if, against all odds, I hadn't imagined it – it had probably just been out of habit; he, like I, must have remembered all our dates in Forks and Port Angeles, and been caught in the mood. To believe that it could mean something else would just be silly, and would lead to no good.

**Edward**

Bella's stomach growled loudly, and she smiled sheepishly.

"I should go. Lily might be having dinner at Catie's, but I still need to eat."

"I was just about to head out for Thai food." The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them, my subconscious reacting instinctively to the possibility of her leaving. "There's this great place on Broadway, if you want to join me?"

I really didn't want her to leave, and when she didn't immediately answer, I thought she was going to say no. My heart dropped.

"OK." She said after a moment, and I let out a sigh of relief.

We had a good time at the restaurant; talking and laughing seemed to come naturally, somehow, even after all these years. It felt like it was just another night in Forks.

When we left the restaurant and started walking back towards my apartment, my hand automatically reached out to take hers, caught in the mood of the evening. It felt completely natural, but at the last second, I realized what I was doing and stuffed my hands in my pockets to avoid any further temptations.

We walked side by side back to my apartment building, neither of us saying anything. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, though, but like the silence of two people who know each other well enough to be able to be quiet together. I walked her to her car in the lot behind the building.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." I said grudgingly, not really wanting her to leave but unable to ask her to stay.

"Same time, same place." She replied, smiling.

"Night."

"Night."


	26. 26 An Early Christmas Present

**AN: Here we go, next chapter. ****Hope you like it – let me know!**

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to do this? They're not mine!**

**26 –**** An Early Christmas Present**

**Bella **

Lily was, as I had predicted, completely ecstatic about her new room, and we decided that she would sleep at Edward's place every other weekend. That way they would get more time together only the two of them than just the afternoons after school, and I would get the chance to catch up with my friends. I knew I had been neglecting them something awful lately.

So that Thursday, I called Jacob to invite him over for a movie night.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey!"

_"I'm sorry, who is this? I mean, you sort of sound like a friend of mine, but she has apparently decided that she doesn't need her friends anymore, so..."_

"Very funny." I knew I hadn't called him in way too long, but there was no need to exaggerate. "If you're going to be like that, I'm not sure I'm going to tell you why I called."

"_Alright, I'm done."_ I heard him chuckle over the phone. _"But I think I'm entitled to a little complaining. You've been MIA for weeks."_

"I know, I'm sorry." I leaned against the fridge, twirling the phone cord around my finger. "Things have just been hectic, with Lily's school, and work, and…"

"_Hey, I get it."_ He interrupted. _"I'm just glad you've finally decided to rejoin the land of the living."_

"You're just hilarious." I couldn't help but smile. "I actually had a movie night in mind, if you're interested? Friday? I'll be kid-free."

"_Sure, as long as I get to pick the movies."_

I groaned. That never ended well.

"No horror, please. And not too much blood and gore." I knew it was pointless, but I tried anyway.

"_I'll try to find something that won't upset your delicate stomach."_ He teased.

"I'll believe that when I see it…" I mumbled, more to myself than him.

"_Friday at seven then?"_

"You bring the movies, I'll take care of the food."

"_See you then."_

xxxxx

Lily went home with Catie to play after school on Friday, and then I brought her over to Edward's place at six.

"Hey there." He greeted with a smile when he opened the door.

I had to take a quick breath to collect my thoughts – his smile still had a devastating effect on my ability to think.

"Hi daddy!" Lily called on her way past him into the living room.

He frowned a little, the smile still in place.

"I don't get a hug hello anymore?"

"Might as well get used to it." I smiled at Lily, who had found a game in the bookcase in the living room. "When there's playing involved there's no time for trifles like hugs."

He sighed theatrically, then smiled again.

"You want to come in for a bit?"

I glanced at my watch.

"I would love to, but I actually have to get going." I smiled apologetically. "Jake's coming over for a movie night at seven, and I still have to stop by the store to get some stuff." I held out the bag I had packed for Lily. "There's some extra clothes in there, toothbrush, a couple of her favorite books, Mr. Snowy…"

"Mr. Snowy?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Her penguin."

"Of course." He took the bag from me. "So, movie night?"

"Yeah." Did he sound a little too casual? "I've been neglecting my friends lately, so I thought I'd try to make up for at least some of it."

"Is Angela coming too?"

"No, just Jake." Did it bother him that I was spending the evening alone with Jake? "We have a sort of tradition of watching horrible movies full of blood and guts and stuff like that."

"Oh. Well, I hope you have fun." He smiled at me again, and I decided that I must have been imagining things. Why would he care if I spent time with Jake, anyway?

"You too. It looks like you're in for a night of Monopoly."

He glanced over his shoulder.

"Should be fun."

"Well, I've got to go. Lily! I'm leaving."

"Bye mommy." She waved at me without looking up from the board.

"See?"

xxxxx

"Hey there, stranger." Jacob greeted as I let him in the door an hour later.

"I know, I know. I deserve that." I hadn't seen or talked to him in almost three weeks, our only communication had been texts, and not even those had been very frequent from my side. I had been a horrible friend.

"I forgive you, if you give me some of those delicious brownies." He said with a smile. "I am not opposed to bribery."

"I promise to make some this week."

"Then all is forgiven." He held up two DVDs. "You ready to watch some guys hack each other to pieces?"

I took the movies and groaned.

"You've really outdone yourself." I complained as I lead the way into the living room.

"That was my mission!"

"Well, mission accomplished!"

I popped one of the DVDs into the player.

"So, how's the shrimp doing in school?" Jake asked when I joined him on the couch.

"Really good, she loves it."

"I thought she might, she's got your brains after all." He smirked at me. "And Angela's OK with taking her after school? Because you know that she can go with me to the Y a couple of times a week, it wouldn't be a problem."

"I know." I realized that I hadn't updated Jacob on the other developments in our lives. "Actually, Jake, she's not going to Angela's after school."

"OK…" He looked confused, waiting for me to continue.

"Well, it turns out that Lily's teacher is Edward's sister Alice." I had never actually talked to Jacob about Edward or the events that had ended our relationship six years earlier, but I knew that he had found out most of what had happened through Angela, Ben and Billy.

"Edward as in Lily's dad? The one who doesn't even know about her?"

"That's the one." I confirmed. "And Alice of course figured it out, and told me that Edward lives here now, so he and Lily have been getting to know each other these past two weeks."

"That's great." Jacob said immediately. "I mean, she's got amazing male role models – current company not excluded – but the kid needs a dad."

"Thanks, Jake, for being OK with this." I squeezed his hand gratefully.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, Ben doesn't seem thrilled. Angela says that it's just because he's worried about me, but I don't know..." I bit my lip. "And Charlie, well... he actually told me to keep Edward away from Lily when he found out that Edward was in Seattle."

"Charlie's just… Charlie. He's your dad; it's his job to worry." Jacob shrugged. "As long as the guy's there for Lily, and she's happy, I'm fine with it. But if he hurts her, or if he tries anything, your dad and Ben might have to get in line if they want revenge." He gave me a serious look and I knew that he wasn't just making empty threats. "I didn't even know you before, and even I could see that you were still hurting when we met, and that was almost two years later."

I shook my head.

"It's not like that, Jake." Though not because I didn't want it to be…

"I'm just saying."

"Thanks." I grabbed the remote off the table and leaned my head against his shoulder. "It's nice to know that I have friends who really care."

"Don't mention it."

"How are things with Sam?" I asked after a moment, skipping past the trailers.

"Same old." Jacob shrugged. "I mean, he's one of my best friends, you know that. I just never imagined that living together would be so difficult."

"Maybe you should think about getting a place of your own?" I suggested.

"I have actually thought about it, but I don't want to ruin our friendship." He frowned.

"Don't you think it would be better to move and save the friendship you have left, than to stay and maybe destroy it forever?"

He contemplated my words for a moment.

"You might have a point." He finally admitted.

"I usually have." I teased, and he poked me in the ribs.

"Know it all!" He took the remote from me and hit play. "Now stop stalling and enjoy the carnage!"

**Edward**

I regretted not asking Bella straight out if there was something between her and this Jacob guy. But that would have been too obvious, right? I tried to convince myself that she would have told me if they were together, at least if it was serious, but I couldn't be sure…

"It's your turn, daddy." Lily's words brought me out of my musings.

"Let's see then." I rolled the dice. "So, what's Jake like?" I knew that asking Lily really wasn't OK, but I needed to know.

"Uncle Jake's the coolest!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah? Where does he live?"

"I don't know." She thought for a moment. "It takes a long time to go there. Sometimes I stay there with him and Sam when mommy and aunty Angela do girl things."

"Sam? Is that Jake's girlfriend?" I let out a sigh of relief.

"No." Lily giggled. "Sam's a boy!"

"Oh." So much for that flash of relief.

"It's your turn again, daddy."

"Right." I rolled the dice again and silently decided that I would let it go. It was none of my business if this Jake was Bella's boyfriend or not.

It hadn't been for a long time.

xxxxx

Time started passing by much faster with Lily and Bella in my life, making the different days mean something. I still picked up Lily every day after school, when she didn't go home with Catie for a play date, and on every other Friday, she spent the night in her new bedroom at my place. Bella would usually join us at the playground or the zoo on Saturday, but Lily went home with me in the evening. On Sunday, Bella would come over for brunch, or Lily and I would go over to their place, and then we'd spend the day playing games or watching movies. The weekends when Lily didn't stay over, the roles were reversed, and I'd meet them.

My life was very close to perfect; there was only one thing missing. But, like I had told Ben, I had no intention of doing anything about that. I was afraid that Bella might pull away from me if she knew the extent of my feelings, and I would rather be a small part of her life, a friend, than nothing at all.

Besides, there was the ever-present Jake – I still wasn't sure about Bella's relationship with him; she never said anything that either confirmed or denied my suspicions… my fears. I was too much of a coward to ask Alice if she knew anything about the situation, and since I'd never actually met the guy, I hadn't been able to observe him and Bella together and judge for myself.

The last weekend of October, Bella and Lily were going to Forks to visit Charlie, and when Lily asked me if I would go with them, I couldn't say no.

I definitely wasn't looking forward to seeing Charlie, since I was pretty sure that he wasn't my biggest fan – not that I could really blame him for that – but getting to spend the weekend with Lily and Bella made up for any possible unpleasantness. And it would be nice to see Forks again – some of the happiest memories of my life were from there.

We drove through the wet Washington fall, the rain falling heavier and heavier the closer we got to Forks. I had forgotten – repressed? – the nearly constant blanket of clouds over the town, and the rain that usually went with it.

"It's like it knows we're coming." Bella muttered in the passenger seat beside me, and I chuckled at her frown.

"It's the weather, not some vengeful witch." I pointed out.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." She glared through the window at the offending rain.

We stopped at The Pacific Inn Motel and checked into our rooms before heading over to Charlie's; Bella had said that we wouldn't be able to sleep there, since Sue and her son lived there too and there was no room. I knew that Bella and Lily usually stayed there when they visited, so I could only assume that Charlie had made it clear that I wasn't a welcome house guest. I was grateful that Bella had apparently stuck up for me in that argument.

As soon as we pulled up outside the house, Charlie appeared on the porch.

"Grandpa!" Lily exclaimed, and jumped out of the car as soon as Bella had opened the door.

"Lily-Lee!" Charlie opened his arms, and she flew into his embrace. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, grandpa."

He hugged her tightly for a moment, then put her down on the porch. She immediately skipped into the house and Charlie's attention turned to me, his eyes narrowing and the smile disappearing from his face. Bella climbed the stairs to the porch, and I cautiously followed a few steps behind her, avoiding Charlie's stare.

"Bells." Charlie hugged her tightly, while still glaring at me over her shoulder. I tried to not sink to his level, and kept my appearance neutral, despite the fact that his scowl made it very difficult.

"Dad." It was a greeting as well as a warning. She pulled away from him, and I had no problem imagining the pointed look she gave him.

"Edward." He nodded curtly in my general direction without looking straight at me.

"Charlie, it's good to see you again."

He muttered something unintelligible and went into the house.

"Come on." Bella encouraged. "Just ignore him." She pulled me along into the familiar kitchen, her hand letting go of mine too soon.

"Hello, sweetheart." A kind looking woman, who I assumed was Sue, gave Bella a welcoming hug. "And you must be Edward. Welcome."

I gladly shook her extended hand, relieved that not everyone was as openly unwelcoming as Charlie.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Clearwater."

"Please, call me Sue."

Despite Charlie's cold behavior towards me, we ended up having a nice weekend. On Saturday, we took Lily to First Beach, watching the activity in the tidal pools and picking rocks from the beach. When the inevitable rain got too heavy, we went back to the motel. In the evening, Sue cooked an amazing dinner for us. She and her son, Seth, were both nice to me, which made it easier to not let Charlie's attitude get to me too much.

On Sunday, we took a drive to our old house. I had trouble finding the small road at first, but finally managed to make it out between the trees and ferns. I was surprised to find that the closer we got to the house, the more overgrown the road got.

"I thought people lived here." I said, looking at the forest through the car windows. "I know Carlisle sold it to a couple from Seattle who was looking to relocate to a smaller town."

"Maybe they left." Bella suggested, shrugging.

When we got to the clearing surrounding the house, it became obvious that whoever had lived there really had left.

The lawn was overgrown with waist-high weeds and ferns, and a couple of the empty windows were broken. The façade was in desperate need of another coat of paint, and there was a sign that read 'FOR SALE' hanging on only one hinge at the foot of the stairs to the porch.

"Esme would be so upset if she saw this." I mumbled as I stared through the windshield at my former home. If I hadn't known that we were in the right place, I wouldn't have recognized the house. There was nothing left of the warm, welcoming home it had once been.

"Did you live here, daddy?" Lily asked from the backseat, and I nodded.

"I did."

"It looks like a haunted house." She announced.

And it did. I hoped that Esme would never have to see it, because I knew that it would break her heart. She had put her soul into the renovations of the old house, making it into a home for us. Seeing it in this state of decay would devastate her.

We drove back to Seattle that afternoon, playing I Spy so Lily wouldn't get bored during the long trip. When I got home after having dropped Bella and Lily off, I called Carlisle. The sight of the house had shaken me somehow, and I felt the need to talk to someone who would understand.

"_Hello?"_

"Dad, hi."

"_Edward, hello. How was the weekend?"_

"Pretty much what I expected. Charlie barely said two words to me, but Sue and Seth seem really nice."

"_You'll __just have to give him some time. Try to see things from his point of view."_

"I know." I hesitated for a moment. "We went out to the old house today."

"_Oh? Did you speak with the O'Connells?__ I hope they enjoy living in Forks."_

"No, dad, there was nobody there. The house is for sale, and it looked like it had been abandoned for a while."

He didn't say anything for a moment.

"_I'm sorry to hear that."_

"Me too." It was the last place that had felt like a home to me, the last place where I had felt like I belonged before Bella and Lily had come into my life.

xxxxx

I was at Bella's place, playing Candy Land with her and Lily, when Carlisle called to tell me that he had bought the old house. It had only been a week since our trip to Forks.

"What?" I asked in astonishment.

"_Your mother and I__ have been talking about getting a place close to Seattle anyway, so we can visit all of you easier." _He explained_. "When you told me about the house being for sale, it felt like a sign."_

"That's great, dad." I had no doubt that he and Esme would be spending a lot of time in Forks. Emmett had even mentioned that he and Rosalie had talked about moving back to the area, and then the whole family would be on the same side of the country again. Esme would love that.

"_I'm having the place fixe__d up before I tell your mother, so don't say anything to her."_

"I won't." I assured him.

When I had hung up the phone, Bella gave me an inquisitive look.

"What was that about?"

"Carlisle's bought the old house in Forks." I said. "I called him last week and told him about it being for sale, and apparently he and Esme have been discussing getting a place close to Seattle, so he bought it."

"That's great." She smiled. "I'm glad the place won't be abandoned anymore, it didn't feel right to see it like that."

"Then we can visit grandma and grandpa all the time!" Lily exclaimed happily.

"Maybe not all the time." I didn't want her to expect too much. "They won't be living at the house, just staying there when they come to visit."

"Oh." She looked so disappointed; I couldn't help but try to cheer her up again.

"But I'm sure they'll visit more often."

"Yay!"

Bella looked at me over Lily's head, a smile on her face. I raised my eyebrows in a silent question, but she just shook her head.

"She's really got you wrapped around her little finger." She commented a little later, when I had put Lily to bed and was about to leave.

Since I couldn't really deny that, I simply shrugged.

xxxxx

At the end of November, the house was finished, and Carlisle and Esme came to inspect it. We all went up to Forks together, wanting to see the result of the renovations.

"It looks just like it used to again." Bella noted when we drove behind Carlisle into the open space surrounding the house. The lawn had been cleared of all the wild vegetation.

I was happy to see that she was right. The house no longer looked like something out of a horror film; the broken windows had been replaced and the façade had been returned to its former state. It looked exactly like it had when we had left, more than six years earlier.

We got out of the car, and I saw Esme staring up at the house.

"You OK, mom?" I asked, putting an arm around her shoulders. The others went into the house, but we stayed behind for a moment.

"I've missed this place." She said quietly.

"I know. Me too."

**Bella**

The weekend after we went to see the house in Forks, Alice convinced me to agree to a girls' night out with her and Angela. The two of them had become close over the past two months. It was Edward's weekend with Lily, and I didn't have anything else planned, anyway.

We went to a night club that had just opened and was supposed to be the place to be at the moment. The music was good, and the drinks decent, but the place was a little too crowded in my opinion. I preferred not having to elbow my way through a crowd when I went out.

We found a table in one of the corners, overlooking the dance floor and the bar. After a while, Angela nudged me.

"That guy is totally checking you out." She mumbled, nodding discretely in the direction of the bar. I waited a moment, then turned to see who she was talking about, pretending to be looking for the restrooms.

I spotted the guy immediately; he was sitting at the bar, his attention on our table. When our eyes met, he smiled at me.

He was pretty good looking. Blond hair, brown eyes, tanned. A couple of months ago, I probably would have smiled back at him and accepted the drink I had no doubt that he was about to come over and offer me. But now, a flash of green held me back.

"I'm not in the mood." I shrugged, turning back to the girls.

"Not in the mood?" Angela repeated in a disbelieving voice. "Sweetie, when was the last time you went out on a date?"

"You probably know that better than me." I said pointedly.

"July, that's when."

"See?"

"Seriously, Bella, you have to live a little." Alice said.

"I said I wasn't in the mood, not that I was joining a convent." I replied dryly, not appreciating the way they were ganging up on me. My love life – or lack thereof – was none of their business.

"Come on, one night of fun won't hurt." Angela insisted. "He's obviously got the hots for you, and you never have to see him again if you don't want to."

"I didn't agree to go out with you so that you could throw me at the first guy who showed an interest." I finished my drink and jumped off the high stool, wobbling a little from the alcohol in combination with my already limited sense of balance. "I'm going to the bathroom."

**Alice**

"I'm going to the bathroom."

I looked after Bella as she stalked away, shaking my head.

"That girl needs some serious fun." Angela said beside me. I couldn't agree more.

An idea occurred to me.

"I think we might have to do something about that." I said thoughtfully.

Angela glanced over at the guy at the bar, who had realized that Bella was a lost cause and moved on to a blonde at a table closer to where he was sitting.

"Not him!"

Angela looked at me, confused. I could see when she realized what I was talking about, because a scheming smile appeared on her face.

"I like the way you think."

"I mean, it's perfectly obvious to everyone but themselves that they're still in love." I started.

"Definitely." Angela interjected.

"But neither of them will ever do anything about it." I continued.

"Nope." She agreed.

"Well, we'll just have to take matters into our own hands, then, won't we?"

**Bella**

I sulked off into the bathroom. I had been looking forward to having fun with the girls, but I should have known that they'd pull something like this. Angela was always trying to get me out into the dating scene, for my own good, according to her. And Alice… well, she was Alice, after all. What had I expected?

I locked the door behind me and leaned my forehead against the cool surface of the wall.

Why was I so reluctant? It wasn't like he had any feelings for me anymore. Why was I holding back for him?

I was still in love with Edward; I had admitted that much to myself already. But it wasn't like anything was ever going to happen, so why didn't I smile at the guy at the bar and let him buy me a drink? He might not be The One, but I would never find Mr. Right if I didn't get out there.

_But Mr. Right isn't out there_, a little voice said. I sighed, and closed my eyes.

I would never be able to move on if I didn't get over him. But right now, the mere thought of that hurt almost physically. I would just have to let nature take its course, and hope that time would help me to move on.

**Edward**

November ended, and December brought with it a layer of snow over Seattle. Lily was ecstatic; she loved snow. I bought her a sledge, and we spent our afternoons in winter wonderland, racing down hills, building snow-men and having snowball-fights.

Carlisle and Esme were spending Christmas in Forks, and Emmett and Rosalie were going with them. Alice and Jasper were going up the Saturday before the holidays, and Bella, Lily and I were driving up the day before Christmas Eve, since Bella had to work. We were all staying at the house; there was more than enough room. Bella and Lily were going over to Charlie's to celebrate with him, Sue, Seth and Leah on Christmas Day. Renée and Phil were going on a cruise in the Caribbean over the holidays, so they weren't joining us.

I had already started buying Christmas presents for Lily; Bella had told me not to get her too much stuff, saying that she would get used to it. I tried to follow her directions, but it was very difficult. I wanted my little girl to have everything she could ever wish for.

I was also trying to find a present for Bella, which wasn't easy. I knew that she would never accept anything expensive, like the new car she desperately needed, but I still wanted to get her something that was meaningful.

The last Friday before Christmas, I found myself in a quaint little second-hand bookshop a few blocks from Pike Place Market. I scanned the shelves, not sure what I was looking for, when something caught my eye.

It was a beautiful, leather bound copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, Bella's favorite book. I remembered how she used to keep a copy of it in her bag wherever she went, and also the first edition _Great Expectations_ she had gotten me for my birthday six years earlier. I quickly bought the book; I was sure that she would love it.

That night, Lily was staying over at Catie's, so I would have the evening to myself before I picked her up in the morning. Bella had a few busy days at work before we would be going up to Forks the following Wednesday, so Lily was staying with me a couple of days extra.

I had just turned on the television when the phone rang at six.

"Hello?"

"_Hi little brother."_

"Hey, Alice." I couldn't help but smile at her cheerful voice. Alice had that effect on people.

"_What you doing?"_

"Just watching TV. Did you want something?"

"_Geez, I__ can't call my favorite brother just to talk?"_ I didn't answer that. _"Fine. I just wanted to let you know that Catie's got the flu, so Lily isn't staying there tonight, and I thought you might want to pick her up for your weekend."_

"Oh. Well, thanks."

"_Yeah yeah."_

"I'm sorry I was rude, Alice." I apologized

"_I might __have to return the Christmas gift I got you; you haven't been a good boy."_

"Please, Ali?" I used my most persuasive voice that I knew usually worked on her. "I'm really, really sorry."

"_Fine."_ I heard her sigh over the line. _"See you on Wednesday."_

"Bye, Alice."

I hung up the phone and called Bella to let her know that I was coming over to pick Lily up, but the line was busy. I decided to just head over; I could wait if Lily wasn't ready to go. Besides, Bella could be calling me to fill me in on the situation.

The snow covering the streets made the city quiet, calmer somehow. I drove slowly, not wanting to lose control of the car on some icy spot. It took me almost twenty minutes to get to their building, since I got stuck behind a plow on the ninety-nine. When I finally got there, I hurried up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked, eyebrows raised, when she opened the door.

"Hello to you too." I said sarcastically. "I came to pick up Lily."

"But she's staying at Catie's tonight, I told you that."

What?

At that moment, my phone chirped.

"Hang on."

I pulled the phone from my pocket. A text message from Alice.

_Merry Christmas ;-)_

I stared at the display for a moment, and then realized what she was doing.

I was going to kill her. I was literally going to strangle her to death. That little interfering, scheming…

"I'm sorry, I must have forgotten." I apologized. No way was I letting Bella know about Alice's little deluded plan. "A bit stressed out with last minute Christmas shopping."

"I get that."

"I'll just go, you probably have plans tonight." I turned to leave, but her voice stopped me.

"No, I was just about to order Chinese food actually, if you want to come in?"

I turned around, not quite convinced that I had heard her correctly.

"Are you sure?"

She shrugged.

"Why not?"

"OK."

I followed her into the apartment, kicking off my snowy boots in the hallway and shrugging off my jacket.

"Egg roles, chicken Chow Mein, sweet and sour pork and fried rice with shrimp?" Bella asked, glancing over her shoulder.

We had ordered from Louie's before.

"Get some extra egg roles."

"Sure." She called in our orders while I pondered Alice's insane prank.

I was sure I hadn't been able to hide the fact that I was still madly in love with Bella from my ever-observant twin sister. But why would she pull something like this, did she want to embarrass me? Because she couldn't think that Bella reciprocated my feelings, could she? Not even Alice was that crazy.

"Food'll be here in twenty." Bella said, hanging up the phone, and I pushed my thoughts aside.

"Did you finish all the Christmas shopping?" I asked, trying to make small talk to keep my own mind busy.

"Yesterday, finally!" She let out a sigh of relief. "Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, especially now that Lily's old enough to actually enjoy it, but the shopping I would gladly skip."

"How do you usually spend Christmas?" I wondered, curious about what her and Lily's holiday normally looked like.

"Either in Forks or Jacksonville, we've all celebrated together." She replied, smiling. "It's nice, having the whole family there."

"I'm sorry it won't be like that this year." She had seemed excited when I had suggested spending the holiday at the house with my family, but maybe I had been wrong and she really wanted to stay at Charlie's or go with Renée and Phil on their cruise.

"It will be. You're family's my family too, you know. At least I consider them family."

I was a little surprised, but happy, to hear that.

"I'm glad."

The food soon arrived, and we ate under comfortable silence.

When we had finished, I got up from the table and put the two paper containers that still had food in them in the fridge. She got up too, handing me the empty ones. When I took them, our fingers made contact and I felt the same electrical current I did every time I was close to her. My eyes snapped to hers, and I could see the same longing in her eyes that I knew must be in mine.

And there was no going back.

**Bella**

While we ate, I tried to figure out a way to ask him to stay a little longer without letting on how desperately I didn't want him to leave.

_Feel like watching a movie?_ Too obvious.

_Want to __stay for a while?_ Too pathetic.

_Please don't__ go!_ Too desperate.

I watched as he got up from the table and put away the left over food. I stood as well, holding up the empty containers for him to throw away. When he reached for them, his fingers lightly brushed mine, and the electricity that always surged between us stung me. His eyes connected with mine, and he stared at me with longing I knew was mirrored in my own eyes.

Before I had a chance to react, my back was against the kitchen counter, his body pressing me into the wooden surface, his lips hungrily devouring mine.

I didn't want to think, analyze, so I let my feelings take over and eagerly kissed him back. His arms snaked around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, pulling him even closer.

As our kisses became more passionate, he easily picked me up, so I was sitting on the counter, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel how much he wanted me through the fabric of our clothes, and pressed myself even closer to him. He groaned into my mouth, and I smiled, relieved that the years hadn't changed the way we affected each other. My own body was starting to react to his touch, and I untangled one of my arms from around his neck to tug at the buttons in his shirt.

He pulled back then, looking at me with desire in his eyes, as if asking permission. I could feel my heart racing, and my breath was coming in short gasps. What he saw in my eyes apparently convinced him that I wasn't going to change my mind, because when our lips crashed together again, I felt him lift me from the counter and walk out of the kitchen.

He made his way to my bedroom slowly and carefully, perhaps afraid of tripping on something, or maybe because he wanted to give me the possibility to say stop.

I had no intention to.

He kicked the door open and kneeled down on the bed, carefully laying me down on it before covering my body with his own. I again began tugging at his shirt, and he swiftly pulled it off, tossing it on the floor. My top quickly joined it, closely followed by our pants.

A moment later, he was completely naked above me, and my breath caught in my throat.

He was still just as beautiful as I remembered.

I traced a finger down the side of his face, continuing down his neck and chest. He closed his eyes, and seemed to be having trouble breathing. I smiled, enjoying the effect I was having on him.

I reached up, lightly pressing my lips to his, and he opened his eyes again, staring at me with so much naked want that I had to look away.

"God, I want you." He mumbled, his lips trailing down my throat. "So bad." I suddenly had trouble thinking.

Somehow I managed to remember the condoms that I had in my bedside table, and I grabbed one from the drawer, placing it in his hand.

He watched me intently as he rolled it on, and continued to do so for an eternal moment, immobile above me.

"Please." I whimpered, pulling his face down so I could kiss him. "I need you."

He kissed me deeply, and in one, long thrust he was inside me. I gasped at the familiar, yet new feeling and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper. I wasn't surprised to find that we still fit together like two corresponding pieces of a puzzle.

Our bodies started moving together in the timeless, eternal dance of life. His fingers strayed over my body, touching, caressing every available spot, and I mimicked his motions, rediscovering the body I loved so.

After a few minutes, he started moving faster, and I knew that neither of us would last much longer. It had been too long since we had been together like this.

As if he could read my mind, his hand trailed between us and his exploring fingers found my most sensitive spot.

"Oh God." I moaned, my head falling back. He kissed my neck, and I felt the first spasms of an impending orgasm course through my body. As my world started falling apart, I felt him shudder inside me. His lips found mine again, and we rode out the waves of ecstasy together.

He didn't pull away; instead he rolled around so I was on top of him. I just lay there for a moment, trying to catch my breath and regain some fraction of sensible thought.

"I love you." I mumbled before I could stop myself, and instantly regretted it when I felt him tense beneath me.

I expected him to push me away, but instead he pulled my face to his and kissed me hungrily.

"I love you." He whispered against my lips. "So much. I never stopped."

**AN: There, happy now? ****They finally got back together! Will they be able to make it work this time? Only one way to find out…**


	27. 27 The Morning After

**AN: ****This story has now officially broken all my previous records! You guys are the greatest, thank you so much!! Now, many of you requested this in the reviews, so here it is; The Morning After and The Talk – well, two of them, really. I hope you like it, let me know! I also want to apologize in advance since I probably won't be able to update until Monday or maybe even Tuesday. I'm going to Stockholm for the weekend tomorrow, and won't have access to my computer or the Internet – I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own them. Not even a little. **

**27 – ****The Morning After**

**Bella**

I shifted as consciousness started to pull me out of the darkness of sleep. Not wanting to wake up, I squeezed my eyes shut against the intruding light of the sun shining in through the bedroom window, and snuggled closer to my Dream-Edward. His arms wrapped tighter around me, his lips brushed over my hair, and it felt so real. It always did.

I knew that these dreams weren't exactly healthy for my sanity, but I didn't feel like analyzing that at the moment. If my subconscious was kind enough to give me what I wanted – if only while I was asleep – then who was I to say no?

"Good morning."

Hang on.

Dream-Edward didn't speak.

I ventured to open my eyes, and there he was. Smiling that irresistible, crooked smile, his hair rumpled from the pillows. He was really in my bed.

"It wasn't a dream." I blurted out, and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"A dream?" His voice was still a little drowsy with sleep.

"I thought I might have been dreaming."

"Oh." He frowned, and I felt him pinch my arm under the covers.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" I asked, rubbing the spot.

"Just making sure you're not dreaming." He chuckled.

I sighed, laying my head back down on his chest, listening to his heart beat against my cheek. I wanted to enjoy the moment a little longer. His hand was tracing patterns on my back, and the touch made my entire body tingle.

"I'm glad you forgot." I mumbled.

"Forgot?"

"That Lily wasn't here last night." I clarified.

"Oh." He paused. "I actually have a confession about that."

I peeked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"I didn't forget." Had he planned this? Was I really that transparent? "Alice called me, saying that Catie was sick so I could pick up Lily after all."

"Alice?" I frowned, trying to connect the dots. My mind was still not working on any higher levels, so I gave up. "I don't get it."

He sat up, reaching over the side of the bed for something.

"Hey, I didn't say you could move!" I complained. "Get back here." He only chuckled at that, but soon reclaimed his spot and held up his phone. I looked at the display.

_Merry Christmas ;-)_

"That little…"

"I know." He agreed, smiling. "I was prepared to kill her, but then you asked if I wanted to come in." He pulled me down for a kiss, his fingers tangling in my hair. "And now I think I might be in debt to her for the rest of my life." He mumbled against my lips.

"That makes two of us." I murmured back. "But hang on…" I reluctantly pulled away from him. Something had just occurred to me. "When exactly did Alice call you?"

"Around six, why? I tried calling before I came over, but the line was busy."

"They wouldn't…" I trailed off as I realized that of course they would. This was exactly the kind of thing they would pull.

"What?" Edward asked impatiently.

"They ganged up on us!" I exclaimed, suddenly seeing it clearly. It was so obvious.

"Who did?" He had a confused look on his face, obviously wondering what I was going on about.

"Alice and Angela! Angela called me last night, at about ten to six, and started talking about Christmas presents and a movie she and Ben were going to last night and a bunch of other stuff." It _had_ seemed suspicious at the time, but I had forgotten to analyze it when Edward had showed up. "I mean, we talk on the phone for hours all the time, but it seemed like she was forcing it, trying just a little too hard. And then when I said that there was someone at the door, she couldn't get off the phone fast enough, even though she was in the middle of a sentence."

We both contemplated Alice and Angela's scheme for a moment.

"It would appear that our friends know us better than we know ourselves." He eventually noted.

"Thank God for that." I reached up so I could kiss him, and he immediately responded, pulling me closer under the covers. After a moment, he pulled away from me a little.

"What would you say to having a little fun on their expense?" He wondered, a scheming look in his eyes.

"I would say that they definitely deserve that." Of course I was grateful that they had interfered, considering the way things had turned out, but it was still a little annoying that they had tricked us. I didn't like being manipulated, no matter the reason.

Edward grabbed his cell again, and quickly typed something. He held it up for me to inspect.

_What the hell were you thinking? I hope you know that I'm going to kill you!_

"Perfect." I smiled evilly as he hit send, and reached for my phone. It was a little after ten, Angela would be up.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Ang." I tried to keep my voice casual, normal.

"_Bella, hi!"_ I could hear the barely concealed excitement and curiosity in her voice.

"I just called to see if you and Ben had fun last night."

"_Oh, we did. The movie was really good, and__ we went to my favorite restaurant."_

"That's great."

"_What did you do?"_ She asked suggestively.

"Oh, nothing much." I couldn't help but smile, and I could see Edward suppressing a laugh. "Just ordered some Chinese, watched TV. A regular night in, you know. Enjoying having some time to myself."

"_Oh."_ Disappointment was evident in her voice, and I had to work very hard to suppress a giggle.

"I'm glad you and Ben had fun. When's your flight leaving?" She and Ben were spending the holidays skiing in Mount Ripley with Ben's parents.

"_Not until four. Do you want to meet for lunch?"_

"I would love to, but I don't think I have time. I still have some Christmas present I have to get – you know me, procrastinating to the last second." I had actually planned on using this time, with Lily at Catie's, to do just that. I was glad that I had managed to finish the shopping the previous day – I had a feeling that it would be difficult to get out of bed this morning. "But we'll do our own Christmas when we get back after New Years, right?"

"_Definitely."_

We always celebrated an "extra" Christmas together, since we usually weren't in the same place on the actual day. Ben, Angela and Jake would come over to my place for Mexican food and presents. It was our own little Christmas celebration. It had started as an excuse for Angela and Jake to get Lily a bunch of Christmas presents, but had turned into a nice tradition over the years.

Edward was apparently getting bored with my conversation, because he pulled me down next to him on the bed and started distracting me by placing feathery kisses along my collar bone. I tried to push him away, to be able to concentrate on talking to Angela, but he just moved further down.

"Listen, Ang, I've got to go." I managed to get out. "Talk to you soon!"

Before she had a chance to reply, I hung up and tossed the phone in the general direction of the bedside table. I hard a thump as it landed on the floor instead.

"Was that really necessary?" I mumbled, trying to focus on something other than the feel of his lips on my skin.

"Very." He breathed against my throat, causing me to shiver.

At that moment, his phone rang.

He sighed, but pulled away from me and reached for the cell.

"Looks like our little plan is working." He smirked when he had checked the display.

"Alice?"

"Yeah." He rejected the call, then turned the phone off. "She'll think I'm too mad to talk to her."

"You realize that you will have to face her eventually, right?" I pointed out.

"I will, just going to let her stew a little first."

He pulled me close, kissing me with determination. I was about to give in to the kiss, when my phone rang.

"Oh, for the love of…" He muttered as I leaned over the edge of the bed to find the offending piece of technology.

"Hello?"

"_Bella, hi."_

"Hi, Alice." I winked at Edward, who shook his head, an amused look on his face.

"_I was just wondering if you've seen my dear brother? His cell's turned off and he's not answering at home."_

"Nope, sorry Alice. Can't help you there." Don't want to… I plan on keeping him all to myself for at least a little longer.

"_He hasn't been by?"_

"Well, he stopped by last night, to pick up Lily. Apparently he had forgotten that she was staying at Catie's. But I haven't seen him since then." It was a good thing we were on the phone, and not face to face; she would have caught my lie immediately.

Edward was shaking with quiet laughter, and I elbowed him in the ribs to get him to stop before I started laughing too and ruined the entire thing.

"_Oh. I__ just thought that he might be there."_

"No, sorry. You'll just have to keep looking, I guess." I bit my lip to control the laughter that was threatening to escape. "I'll tell him that you're looking for him if I happen to talk to him."

"_OK, thanks__."_ Alice sounded so disappointed that I almost – but just almost – told her the truth. But she would survive a taste of her own medicine. _"I'll see you on Wednesday then."_

"See you then." I managed to not start laughing until I had hung up the phone, but then I broke down in giggles. "She sounded so disappointed that her little scheme hadn't worked!"

"She can live with that for a few days."

"You want to tell them when we go up to Forks?" I abruptly stopped laughing. The thought frightened me a little. I wasn't sure I was ready to let other people into our little bubble just yet. If I was being perfectly honest, I was also a little afraid that the bubble would burst…

"I think it might be a little difficult to hide, since I won't be able to keep my hands off you." He demonstrated just that fact by pulling me down on top of him.

"Oh really?" That thought was appealing… very appealing.

"Definitely." His hands tangled in my hair again, and he kissed me, lightly at first, then with more urgency. "When's Lily coming home?"

"Donna's taking them to Chuck E. Cheese's for lunch, so not until two or so."

"Plenty of time."

**Alice**

"He rejected my call!" I exclaimed angrily, to nobody in particular.

"Who did?" Jasper wondered from the couch, not seeming too interested in the fact that I was clearly upset. I glared at him.

"Edward! That annoying, ungrateful little…" I trailed off, not able to think of a word bad enough.

Jasper turned off the TV and was suddenly completely focused on me.

"What did you do?" He asked sternly.

"Nothing." I replied with an innocent look on my face. Of course, he wasn't fooled by it.

"You know you can't lie to me." He pointed out, and I sighed. Sometimes the whole "knows me better than anyone" thing was a little annoying.

"Fine." I fiddled with the phone in my hand, knowing that he wouldn't approve. "I sort of lied and said that Edward should go over to Bella's place last night to pick up Lily, only she was spending the night at Catie's."

Jasper gave me a disappointed look.

"He needed a push in the right direction!" I argued.

"And you thought that it was up to you to provide that?"

"Who else?"

"Nobody, that's who." He sighed and pulled me down on the couch next to him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You just need to let them work this out themselves."

"But that might never happen!" I objected.

"In that case, maybe it wasn't meant to be." He suggested. "Did you consider that?"

"No." I said stubbornly. I ignored Jasper's sigh as I dialed a new number on my phone.

"_Hello?"_ Bella answered, sounding a little annoyed – I hoped it was because I had called at a "bad" moment.

"Bella, hi." I pretended not to notice Jasper shaking his head at me and turned my back on him.

"_Hi, Alice."_ She sounded a little amused when she realized it was me.

"I was just wondering if you've seen my dear brother? His cell's turned off and he's not answering at home." He had to be there, right? I hated to consider the possibility that my plan had failed – they were so right for each other.

"_Nope, sorry Alice. Can't help you there." _

Her words made my heart drop a little, but I persisted.

"He hasn't been by?" He'd said that he would go over there, he wouldn't have changed his mind after hanging up last night?

"_Well, he stopped by last night, to pick up Lily. Apparently he__ had forgotten that she was staying at Catie's. But I haven't seen him since then."_

"Oh. I just thought that he might be there." What the hell had gone wrong? I was going to kill him if he messed this up – again!

"_No, sorry. You'll just have to keep looking, I guess.__"_ She paused. _"I'll tell him that you're looking for him if I happen to talk to him."_

"OK, thanks." I was almost too disappointed to get the words out. "I'll see you on Wednesday then."

"_See you then." _

I hung up the phone and bit my lip.

"I take it your little scheme was unsuccessful?" Jasper conjectured from the look on my face.

"I just don't know what went wrong."

"Just let it go." He insisted. "If it's meant to be, they'll find their way back to each other without your help."

"I hope you're right."

**Edward**

"I didn't think we'd ever get this back."

My hand, that had been tracing patterns up and down Bella's back, paused at her words.

"I know what you mean." I mumbled back. "That day… when you said that you didn't want to try the whole long-distance thing, I thought that was it."

"I didn't say that." She propped herself up on her elbow so she could look down on me.

"Maybe not those exact words, but the meaning was pretty clear." Even though I had her here, in my arms, the memories of that day still hurt. I had to look away from her as I continued. "I really thought that we could make it work, but… when you said that, I knew that it wasn't what you wanted." I kept my eyes fixed on the window, but could feel her gaze.

"_You_ were what I wanted." At the intensity in her words, I had to look up at her. "I just…" She sighed. "When you told me that you were leaving, I panicked. I really thought that it was a way for you to get out, that you didn't want me anymore." Her voice trailed off as she spoke, and was almost a whisper at the end.

"No, never." It was her turn to avoid meeting my eyes. "I've wanted you since the first time I met you. I was completely set on doing the long-distance relationship for a year, and then come back here so we could go to college together. But then I thought that you didn't, and I…"

She cut me off with a kiss.

"I guess we both jumped to conclusions, huh?" She said when she pulled back.

"More like skydived!"

"I'm sorry." She mumbled after a moment. "If I hadn't reacted like that, maybe we wouldn't have lost contact and then you wouldn't have missed…"

"Hey." I interrupted. "Don't think like that. I should have told you that we were moving the moment I found out, so if you want to blame someone, blame me."

She contemplated my words for a moment.

"How about if we blame nobody?" She suggested. "I mean, sure, we both could have done things differently, but there were external circumstances working against us."

"I think that sounds good." I agreed.

"Good." She smiled as her hand found its way under the covers. I inhaled sharply at her touch. "Now, are we done being serious for the time being? Because we still have hours before Lily will be back…"

We didn't get out of bed until after one.

Bella insisted that I should go home before Lily came back, saying that we shouldn't confuse her. I understood where she was coming from, but at the same time I had no idea what to do with myself until they came over later in the afternoon.

I missed Bella so much it almost hurt physically the moment she closed the door behind me. It was like I had temporarily lost a part of my own body, something essential that I couldn't live without. Like my heart.

When I got home, there were six messages on my answering machine. I didn't need to listen to them to know they were all from Alice. I sighed and pressed "Play" knowing that I would have to deal with her sooner or later. And though I would prefer later, if I knew Alice, she wouldn't give up until I talked to her.

_Why is your__ cell turned off? I tried to call you! Call me when you get this._

_You're still not __there? Did you forget to charge your cell or something? Call me when you get home._

_I'm not kidding, Edward. Call me!__ Right now!_

_OK, I'm starting to worry now. Where are you? Call!_

_This isn't funny anymore.__ I know you're mad at me, but if you don't call me back soon, I'll come over there and break the door down. And you know I'm not kidding!_

_Final__ warning, Edward._

Sooner it was, then; the last message had been recorded just five minutes earlier, and I thought it was best to call her back before she sent the National Guard out to look for me. I wouldn't put it past her.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Jazz. Is my neurotic sister there, or is she organizing the search party?"

"_She's here.__ I managed to talk her out of involving the local police and fire department for the time being, but I'm not sure how long I would have been able to keep her in check if you hadn't called."_ He chuckled. _"Hang on."_

I waited as he handed the phone to Alice, bracing myself for her anger.

"_Edward? Where the hell have you been?"_ She shrieked. I held the phone a few inches from my ear so I wouldn't go deaf.

"Christmas shopping." I lied easily. "And I also didn't feel like talking to you, so I turned the phone off. How could you put me on the spot like that? What the hell were you thinking last night?"

"_I was thinking that I was giving you a shove in the right direction."_

"Well, I don't need to be shoved anywhere." I didn't need to fake the annoyance in my voice; the way she had always taken it upon herself to meddle in my life _did_ annoy me. Even if, in this particular situation, I did appreciate her interference.

"_Clearly you do."_

"Just stay out of it, Alice." I muttered.

"_I just want the two of you to get a second chance."_

"It's not going to happen." I tried to sound defeated, and somehow – I wasn't sure exactly how, since I had trouble hiding the happiness in my voice – I succeeded. Alice was quiet for a long moment.

"_I'm sorry." _She apologized in a somber tone that wasn't like her.

"You should be. I felt like a complete idiot last night!" For a moment, at least…

"_I was just trying to help." _She pleaded.

"I know, but you're just going to have to accept that it's a lost cause, OK? I have."

"_OK."_ She paused, and I heard Jasper say something in the background. _"We've got to get going now; we want to get there before it gets dark. Call me if you need to talk, OK?"_

"I'm fine, Alice." Much better than fine, but no need to let her know that. She could use a dose of regret; it would only be healthy for her. Teach her not to stick her nose in where it didn't belong.

"_See you in a couple of days."_

"Bye."

I occupied myself with cleaning the apartment while I waited for Bella and Lily to come over. It kept my hands busy, while my mind was free to wander to the memories of the night – and morning – with Bella.

The relief at hearing her express the same feelings I had realized that I'd never fully gotten over had been overwhelming. I had been so convinced that she no longer had any feelings for me, that I hadn't believe my own ears at first.

But she loved me. She really loved me.

I wanted to tell the world, scream it from the roof tops for everyone to hear.

We hadn't actually talked much, preoccupied with rediscovering each other. But I realized that we'd have to take it slow, for Lily's sake; it wasn't fair to her to turn the life she was used to upside down just like that. What I really wanted to do was pack up the few personal belongings that had found their way into my sterile apartment and head over to the place I considered home. Because home was where Bella and Lily were.

We would have to discuss the future, soon. I wanted her to know that I was all in, that for me, there was no going back now. I only hoped she felt the same.

**Bella**

I regretted asking Edward to leave as soon as the door closed behind him. But we had to do this right, for Lily. It wasn't fair to confuse her.

I busied myself with putting a load of laundry in the washer while I waited for Donna to drop Lily off. I didn't have to wait long; fifteen minutes after Edward had left, there was a knock on the door.

"Hi, baby, did you have fun?" I asked Lily, giving her a hug.

"Uh-huh." She nodded, pulling Caitlin along into the apartment. "Come on, let's play!"

"Only for a little while, we have to leave soon, Catie." Donna called after the girls, who completely ignored her as they ran in the direction of Lily's room.

"Come on in." I stepped aside to let Donna pass.

"You look… different." She studied me, and I could feel the color rising in my cheeks. "Happier, somehow."

"Oh, well, I just… it's…" I stuttered, trying to come up with something to say.

A smile spread on Donna's face.

"About time. I was starting to worry that you'd never get your head out of your butt and do something about that! Even I can see that the guy's crazy about you."

"Really?" He had said that he still loved me, but it was nice to hear that someone else had noticed it.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd gone blind, or something." She shook her head, a disbelieving look on her face. "The way he looks at you? And I've only met him a handful of times."

She followed me into the living room.

"So what are you going to do now?" She lowered her voice a little and glanced over at Lily's door.

"I'm not sure." I frowned. We hadn't exactly had time to talk about this. "I guess we'll just have to take things slow, for Lily's sake."

"Lily will be thrilled."

"Exactly! I don't want her getting her hopes up if…" I couldn't even finish the sentence; I got a big lump in my throat just thinking about it.

"Bella, honey." She waited until I looked up at her. "I know that he hurt you."

"It wasn't his fault." I protested.

"I know that too, but it still hurt. And I get that you're afraid to put yourself in a position to be hurt like that again." She laughed dryly. "Believe me, I get that. But if you ever want to get the happily ever after part of the fairytale, you're just going to have to trust him."

"I think I do trust him." I mumbled.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Nothing, I guess." And there wasn't a problem.

**Edward**

I had surrendered to the couch, the TV on to some basketball game I wasn't watching, when there was a knock on the door just after four. I turned the television off and hurried to the door.

"Daddy!" Lily lunged herself into my arms when I opened to let them in, and almost knocked me over.

"Hey there, princess." I hugged her back. "Did you have fun at Catie's last night?"

"Oh yeah!" I closed the door behind them and put Lily back on the floor. She shrugged off her coat and shoes. "We watched My Little Pony, and played Candy Land, and hide and seek." She skipped off in the direction of the living room.

I turned my attention to Bella.

"Hey."

"Hey." She had an almost shy smile on her face.

I took her hand, intertwining our fingers, and pulled her along to the living room. I desperately wanted to kiss her, but controlled myself. We would have to keep the physical contact to a minimum in front of Lily. When we got into the room, she had already bounded over to the pile of Christmas presents in the corner.

"I can't open even one?" She pleaded, like she had for the last week. "Just a little one?"

"Nope." I was relentless.

"I told you to hide them." Bella mumbled in my ear, her breath causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"You don't think she would have found them?" I asked incredulously. Lily was nothing if not resourceful; I had no doubt that she would have located the presents no matter where I would have hidden them.

"Maybe not right away." Bella giggled. "That's exactly why I keep my presents at A-N-G-E-L-A-S."

Lily gave me one more puppy dog look, but when I shook my head, she gave up.

"Can we make snow angels?" She wondered instead.

"After dinner." Bella replied. "I'm just starting to defrost from the walk from the car."

"Weakling." I teased her.

"You know I'm still a Phoenix girl at heart." She replied. "Or at least when it comes to the weather. Snow and rain just aren't my cup of tea. "

"How you've survived in Washington for seven years is a miracle." I shook my head in mock disbelief, and she elbowed me in the ribs.

"I like the snow!" Lily piped in.

"You would live in the snow if I let you!" Bella shook her head. "Sure you're not part Eskimo?" She turned to me.

"Hey, I was born and raised in California, don't pin this on me." I chuckled.

"California?" Lily wondered, eyes wide in astonishment.

"That's right, in Los Angeles." I told her.

"That's where SpongeBob lives!" She exclaimed, and Bella and I laughed.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"Catie says that they make SpongeBob in Los Angeles, so he must live there, right?"

Her logic was impeccable.

"I want to play Twister!" She announced a moment later.

"Go get it then." Bella encouraged.

We played for over an hour, Lily insisting that we start right over whenever anyone won.

"Left hand green!" Lily ordered halfway into the fifth round.

We all obeyed, and I suddenly found myself almost pressed against Bella's body beneath me. I took a deep breath, and felt my body start to react to her proximity.

"I think I'll get started on dinner." I said, getting out of the compromising position quickly. I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I walked into the kitchen.

**Bella**

"I think I'll get started on dinner." Edward said in a half-choked voice, getting up from the very nice position he had been in behind me.

I watched him walk out of the room, a smile spreading on my lips. It was nice to know that I still had that kind of effect on him, despite the fact that the timing might be a little off.

"Right foot blue, mommy!" Lily's impatient voice interrupted my musings, and I quickly obeyed, trying to concentrate on the game.

We continued playing as the aroma of grilled chicken spread in the room. My stomach growled in response to the delicious smell, and I realized that I hadn't eaten since our makeshift breakfast in bed that morning. The memory made me blush.

"Food's ready." Edward called from the kitchen, effectively ending our game.

It was almost seven by the time we'd finished dinner, but Lily still insisted on going to the park to make snow angels.

"You promised!" She reminded us. Since I had said that we could go out after dinner, I nodded.

"OK, but just for an hour, OK?" She happily agreed to that, and we bundled up before going out in the cold night.

Lily excitedly skipped ahead of us down the street, and I felt Edward's hand in mine through the fabric of my glove.

"Twister is a very dangerous game." He muttered in my ear, and I felt a tingle down my spine when his hot breath touched the exposed skin on my neck.

"I was wondering why you gave up so suddenly." I teased him, and he gave me a long look that told me exactly what would have happened if he hadn't. The intensity in his eyes made my breath catch in my throat.

"I might have to accidentally misplace that game." He seemed to ponder that possibility for a moment.

"We can control ourselves, can't we?" I leaned in a little closer as we walked.

"With you smelling like that? I wouldn't be so sure."

We had gotten to the park by then, and I reluctantly released his hand so he could help Lily with her snow angel. No way was I lying down in the cold snow.

I wiped off the snow from a bench a few feet away and sat down, careful to keep my parka between myself and the wood. Couldn't you catch a urinary infection from sitting on cold surfaces?

I watched them tumbling around in the snow, making snow angels, building lanterns and a snowman. At eight, I broke up a snowball fight and we walked back to the apartment. I lingered in the background as Edward helped Lily get ready for bed, not wanting to cut into his weekend with her.

"Night, mommy." She came into the living room and gave me a hug after she had brushed her teeth.

"Night, baby." She didn't question the fact that I was still there, which was a good sign for the future.

"I'll be right back." Edward said with a smile in my direction as he followed Lily into her bedroom.

Through the slightly open door I could hear him read a story to her, and recognized Cinderella. She apparently fell asleep before the end, because he stopped in the middle of the big ball. A moment later, he emerged from the room and closed the door behind him before he joined me on the couch.

"She's out like a light."

"Snowball fights will do that to you." I noted.

"Yeah." He glanced at me, a nervous look on his face. "I guess we should talk, huh?"

His lack of confidence made my own nerves calmer, somehow.

"We do need to figure this out." I agreed.

His eyes stayed focus on his hands as he spoke.

"Look, I get it if last night was just… I don't know, heat of the moment. I don't expect you to…"

"Hey!" I turned his face so I could look him in the eyes. "I meant what I said last night. I love you. I may have been able to deny it to myself for the past six years, but it's always been true. And I'm sick of having to pretend."

Relief was evident in his eyes as he let out a sigh.

"I was afraid that you regretted saying it."

"Of course I don't." I scanned his face, a little worried. "Do you?"

"No, God no." He hurried to assure me. "I love you more than I've ever loved anything in this world. You and Lily are everything to me."

"Good." It was my turn to let out a sigh of relief.

"So how are we going to do this?" He wondered.

"I'm not sure." I frowned. "My place really is too small for the three of us, but I don't want Lily to have to change schools."

"You want us to live together?"

"That is the next logical step, right?" I giggled. "Granted, we're already doing this all backwards, but not much to do about that now."

"Do you think Lily will be OK with that?" He sounded worried. "I don't want to turn her world upside down."

"I think she'll be more than OK with it." I leaned over and kissed him, pulling away when he attempted to deepen the kiss. "I mean, we won't give her all the details, of course, but she'll love it if you lived with us."

"A bigger place in your neighborhood then?" He suggested.

"That sounds good." I snuggled closer. "Of course, you could stay with us in the meantime, just bring over the essentials, and keep this place for your furniture and stuff."

"I like that idea." He wrapped an arm around me, pulling my back against his chest.

"Tomorrow?" I suggested, looking up at him. "I'll come over for lunch and we can talk to Lily and then you can pack up whatever you need."

"You're not staying tonight?" He sounded disappointed.

"I want to, but I think we should probably talk to Lily about this before she finds me here in the morning." The thought of her accidentally finding us in bed together almost made me blush. That was not a conversation I wanted to have for a long time – she was only five.

"You're right." He grudgingly agreed.

"I don't have to leave yet, though." I turned in his arms. "I'm up for some make-out on the couch."

"Are you trying to seduce me?" He put on an appalled face.

"I might be." I giggled. "How am I doing so far?"

"A little too good."

**Edward**

It wasn't easy to let Bella go that evening, but I comforted myself with the fact that that night would, hopefully, be the last we spent apart for a long time.

I found Lily by the pile of Christmas presents when I got up the next day.

"Isn't it Christmas yet?" She wondered when I called her to the kitchen for breakfast.

"You know we're going up to Forks to visit grandma and grandpa for Christmas." I reminded her.

"I know." She sighed the impatient sigh of a child waiting to open presents. "When are we going?"

"On Wednesday."

"That's so far away!" She complained, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Only to a very impatient five-year-old with the prospect of opening presents on the horizon could three days feel like a very long time.

We spent the morning watching cartoons, and just when I started making lunch, Bella knocked on the door.

We waited until we had finished lunch to talk to Lily about the new living situation.

"Lily, honey, we want to talk to you about something." Bella said when we returned to the living room after having cleaned up in the kitchen.

"About my presents?" She asked expectantly.

"No, not about your presents." Bella replied smiling. "About something else that I think you'll like."

"What?"

"Well." Bella shot a look at me. "How would you like it if your dad came to live with us?"

"All the time?" A big smile was spreading on Lily's face.

"Yeah, all the time." Bella confirmed.

"Yay!" Her enthusiasm was contagious, and we both laughed. "But where would you sleep?" Lily gave me a confused look.

"He would sleep in my room." Bella stated matter-of-factly. My heart skipped a beat; what would Lily say to that?

"Oh." She contemplated this for a moment. "You'll have to get bunk-beds, like Catie and Cole have."

"We'll have to look into that." Bella smiled at me over Lily's head, and I held back a chuckle.

I packed up the clothes and other stuff that I would need for a prolonged stay, and we headed over to their apartment a little later. Bella made space for my stuff in her closet and dresser, and I got a shelf in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. When I had unpacked everything, I stared at the three toothbrushes in the glass in the bathroom, and realized that I was finally home.


	28. 28 A Family Holiday

**AN: I'm back! I really should be studying right now, but I thought I'd get this chapter up for you guys first – hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

**28 – ****A Family Holiday **

**Edward**

I spent the next couple of days with Lily, since school was out for the holidays and Bella still had to work. Lily seemed perfectly fine with the fact that I was there when she woke up in the morning and when she went to bed at night. I was relieved, having feared that she would have difficulty adjusting to the new situation.

The only thing she had had an objection to was the fact that she would no longer get to sleep in her "other" room. We were able to fix this by promising that, after we got back from Forks, we would move some of the stuff from her room at my old apartment to her room at home.

I already thought of my apartment as my "old" place and Bella's apartment as "home". I would have to keep the apartment until we found a bigger place – not because I was thinking about keeping any of the furniture, really, but because I needed space for my piano. It definitely wouldn't fit in Bella's living room, and I needed somewhere to work.

Bella and I tried to keep our physical contact to a minimum in front of Lily, but the little that we did allow ourselves didn't seem to bother her. She loved when all three of us curled up on the couch to watch a movie.

Bella only had to work for a few hours on Wednesday morning, because of some project that she had to finish for her boss before the holidays. When she got home, we quickly packed the car and headed towards Forks. There wasn't much traffic, but since the roads were covered in snow and, quite possibly, ice, the drive still took almost an hour longer than usual.

I hadn't spoken to Alice since she and Jasper had driven up to Forks that Saturday, and I was pretty sure that she still thought that her little plan had failed. I couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she realized the truth. She would be furious that we had tricked her, but in the end, she would be thrilled. I knew the rest of my family would be happy for us, too.

The only cloud on the horizon was Charlie's reaction to mine and Bella's renewed relationship. I had no doubt that he would be less than happy about it. We'd had dinner with him and Sue when we were up looking at the renovated house in November, and he had been just as cold towards me then as he had been when we had visited a month before that. And at that point I had only been involved in Bella's life because of Lily. I could only imagine how he would feel about us being involved romantically again.

But I could deal with Charlie's resentment. As long as I had Bella by my side, I felt like I could deal with anything life threw at me. And I did actually understand where he was coming from, at least if I looked at the situation objectively. Even though he probably knew, on a logical level, that what had happened between Bella and me had been brought on by misunderstandings and unlucky circumstances, he must still remember how miserable she had been after I had left. She had told me a little about that first time, and I felt a stab of pain every time I thought about it. It would only be natural for Charlie to blame me for that; I partially blamed myself as well.

Lily fell asleep in the backseat almost before we had left Seattle, and the drive felt even longer than it should have, regardless the extra hour it did actually take. But eventually a sign welcomed us to Forks, Washington, population 3,192.

We continued through the town, heading straight to Carlisle and Esme's. We were invited to Charlie's for dinner later that night, but it was only four o'clock, so we had time to unpack and relax a little before we had to leave.

Esme and Rosalie came out to greet us, having heard when we pulled up outside the house.

"You're here." Esme exclaimed, opening the door to the backseat and pulling Lily from the car into a hug. She was still half asleep and blinked against the offending daylight.

"Tomorrow's Christmas, grandma." She mumbled happily, rubbing her eyes.

"It is, baby." Esme agreed, putting Lily down on the snow covered ground. The last remnants of sleepiness disappeared from her face and she looked up at me with an expectant smile on her face.

"And the next day I get to open my presents, finally, right daddy?"

"That's right." I agreed, giving Esme a hug. "Hi mom."

"Hello darling." She hugged me tightly before turning to greet Bella.

I grabbed the two bags full of Christmas presents that we had brought with us out of the trunk and headed into the house, Lily following closely behind me.

Carlisle, Emmett and Alice were gathered on the living room couch, Noah asleep in his bassinette next to it. In a corner, there was a huge, exquisitely decorated Christmas tree, and numerous other holiday decorations were scattered around the room. I looked around for Jasper, but he must be upstairs, because he was nowhere to be seen.

"Even more presents!" Lily exclaimed, spotting the large pile of colorful packages under the tree.

"They're not all for you." I told her, even though I suspected that the majority of them actually were. Where I had crossed the line and gotten her too many presents, Esme and Carlisle would have goon so far the line was no longer visible behind them.

"I know." She sighed and shot one last, wistful look at the pile of presents before she turned her attention to the people in the room. "Grandpa!" Carlisle extended his arms, and she jumped into his embrace. He hugged her tightly and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Hello sweetheart." He looked up at me. "The drive went well?"

"Roads are a little slippery, but it was fine."

I put the two bags with presents down next to the tree, for someone to unpack. Behind me, I heard Bella, Esme and Rosalie enter the house. I turned to find that they had brought in the rest of our luggage from the car.

"Come on, I'll show you your rooms." Esme said excitedly, eager to show off the now furnished house, and Bella and I followed her up to the third floor with our bags. "We had one of the spare bedrooms decorated for Lily, I hope that's OK?"

"Of course it is, she'll need a room here for when we visit." Bella assured Esme, who smiled happily.

"Good." Esme opened the first door on the right, Emmett's old room. "We're all in our old rooms downstairs, so you'll have this floor to yourselves."

The room she went into was simply, but beautifully, decorated. White walls, pink curtains and rugs, wooden furniture.

"I hope she'll like it." Esme worried, putting down Lily's small suitcase on the bed.

"I'm sure she will." Bella assured her.

We went back into the hallway, and Esme pointed to the door next to Lily's.

"That's the library-slash-office, and the other two rooms are guest rooms." She opened the two doors on the left.

Both rooms were decorated in soft colors, one in blue and one in yellow.

"I'll leave you to make the sleeping arrangements." She smiled at us and headed back down the stairs.

"Any preference?" I asked, and Bella shook her head.

"Whichever is fine."

I dropped our bags on the bed in the blue room, and took Bella's hand as we headed back downstairs.

Emmett had apparently promised to go outside with Lily, because they were by the front door and he was helping her put her jacket back on when we came into the living room.

"Not for too long, Emm, we're leaving for Charlie's at six." Bella told him.

"Sure thing."

Emmett opened the door and Lily rushed down the porch steps, immediately scooping up an armful of snow and throwing it in Emmett's direction. We watched as Emmett picked Lily up and dropped her in the nearest snowdrift. I could see Lily shriek with laughter and throw snowballs at Emmett, who made a show of ducking.

"They should have fun." Rosalie noted from the couch where she was sitting with Noah. "They're pretty much on the same mental level."

Everyone laughed at that.

I had counted on Alice picking up on the physical contact between me and Bella, but she didn't seem to have noticed our joined hands. I decided to make it a little easier for her.

Leaning against the bar counter that divided the living area from the kitchen, I pulled Bella in front of me and wrapped my arms around her waist. She gave me a curious look over her shoulder, and I shrugged, glancing meaningfully at Alice who was, at the moment, busy talking to Esme. Bella laughed quietly.

Rosalie was the first one who noticed our new position. She raised an eyebrow at me, and when I smiled she nodded approvingly.

"I hope you have a good explanation for this, because Alice will be furious." Jasper noted quietly as he passed us, having just come downstairs.

"Maybe it'll teach her not to meddle." I muttered back, and he gave me an incredulous look. "Or, then again, maybe not."

Alice looked up as Jasper approached, and froze when she spotted Bella and me.

"What the…" The look on her face went from confused, to understanding, to furious. "You told me… you… you…"

"Having trouble finding the right words, Alice?" I asked, chuckling.

"You liar!" She accused. "You had me thinking that… that…" Again, she was unable to finish the sentence.

"We were just trying to teach you a lesson." Bella explained, slipping out of my embrace and sitting down next to Alice on the couch. As if she were a magnet that I was involuntarily drawn to, I followed.

"You were out of line, Ali." I pointed out.

"But it obviously worked!" She exclaimed. "So shouldn't you be thanking me?"

"Thank you." Bella said sincerely, giving Alice a tight hug.

"That's better." Alice glared at me over Bella's shoulder.

"You were asking for it, Alice." I muttered, and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm not talking to you."

"That should make the holiday nice and quiet." I said teasingly, to which I got another deathly glare. If looks could kill…

I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder.

"I knew you two would work it out, somehow." She mumbled in my ear, and I gave her a grateful look.

"Thanks, mom."

**Alice **

I couldn't believe that they had tricked me like that! Those ungrateful little…

"I'm not talking to you." I grumbled at Edward.

"That should make the holiday nice and quiet." He replied in that teasing voice that always pushed my buttons, and I glared at him.

"I knew you two would work it out, somehow." Esme said, her hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Thanks, mom." He smiled at her

"Please don't be mad, Alice." Bella pleaded with me. I was still furious, and shot another evil glare at Edward. The smile on his face only got wider when he saw the frown on mine.

"Just ignore her, she'll get over it." He suggested, an amused undertone in his voice.

"I am sorry, OK." Bella really did look sorry.

I decided to forgive her. It was really my brother I was mad at, anyway.

"I forgive you." I said, glaring menacingly at Edward again. "You, on the other hand…"

"I thought you weren't speaking to me." He smirked.

I threw a pillow at him. Immature, I know, but it felt good.

"Will you at least admit that you never would have gotten here if it wasn't for me?" I demanded. I deserved at least that much.

"We do owe you, Ali." Edward admitted. "But it's still not nice being manipulated like that."

"OK, I guess I can apologize for that part." I had tricked them in the first place, after all.

"And I'm sorry I lied to you." Edward replied.

"Forgive and forget?" I suggested.

"Well, I am stuck with you anyway, might as well try to get along." Edward joked. It was tempting to throw another pillow at him, but this time I managed to control myself.

**Bella**

"Forgive and forget?" Alice suggested in response to Edward's apology.

"Well, I am stuck with you anyway, might as well try to get along." He joked.

Relieved that there were no hard feelings, I relaxed on the couch and leaned my head against Edward's shoulder, his arm around my waist.

An hour later, we heard Emmett and Lily come in through the front door. They appeared in the room a moment later, both with scarlet cheeks.

"How long were we out there?" Emmett wondered, taking in me and Edward close together on the couch. "Oh, I get it." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

The last thing I wanted was one of his sexual innuendos with Lily in the room, so I gave him a warning look.

"Don't worry, even I have a PG-13 filter." He grinned at me. "But I can wait."

I did not like the sound of that.

"We should probably go unpack and get ready for dinner." I suggested, and Edward nodded.

"So that's what they call it these days." Emmett mumbled when we passed him. I slapped him on the arm, but he just laughed.

"Come on, baby." I took Lily's hand and we all headed up the stairs.

I unpacked Lily's things and picked out clothes for her to wear before leaving her to get dressed. When I got into our room across the hall, Edward had already unpacked everything, so I just changed into the clothes I had been planning to wear.

"You ready to take on Charlie?" I asked in a teasing voice.

"Not even close, but might as well get it over with." Edward mumbled, and I realized that he really was worried about Charlie finding out about us being back together.

"Hey." I waited until he looked up at me before I continued. "It'll be fine. Charlie knows better than to say anything."

"But he won't like it." He stated.

"No, probably not." I admitted. There really was no point in pretending otherwise – Charlie would be furious. "But he'll just have to get used to it, because I don't plan on letting you go any time soon."

"I like the sound of that."

He pinned me against the dresser, one arm on either side of my body, and leaned in for a kiss. His lips were soft against mine, his breath hot on my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck and was about to deepen the kiss when…

"Eew!"

We pulled apart to find Lily standing in the doorway.

"You were kissing!" She exclaimed, her nose wrinkled. "Gross!"

I couldn't help but laugh, even though Edward looked horrified that Lily had caught us.

"You think so?" I tilted my head to the side, pretending to ponder something for a moment. "What if I kiss you instead?"

I grabbed her and started planting wet kisses all over her face.

"Stop it, stop it!" She shrieked.

"See, isn't it better if I kiss daddy instead?"

"Uh-huh." She agreed, squirming to get free from my grip.

I checked my watch. It was almost six.

"OK, we've got to go, or we'll be late for dinner."

I let go of Lily and she quickly skipped into the hallway and down the stairs. I took Edwards's hand in mine and we followed at a more reasonable pace.

"See? Not a big deal." I told him. "As long as that's all she walks in on, she'll be fine."

"Did you have to put that out there?" He groaned.

"Good thing we have a lock on the bedroom door, don't you think?"

xxxxx

Charlie was about as understanding as Edward had feared. I hadn't exactly expected anything else, but a part of me had still hoped – in vain – that maybe, just maybe, he would understand and be happy for us.

"I'll help you in the kitchen, dad." I said pointedly when we had finished eating. The way he was glaring at Edward – like he was trying to figure out the best way to get rid of the body – was really starting to get on my nerves; and I wasn't even the one subjected to it. The fact that Lily hadn't noticed anything was practically a miracle. I had to do something before she caught on.

I walked ahead of my dad into the other room and turned on the water. I poured some dish soap in the sink and watched the bubbles start to form.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Charlie hissed, coming up behind me.

"This is none of your business." I warned him, grabbing a dish towel.

"Like hell it isn't! He left you completely devastated last time, don't think I don't remember." If he hadn't had a soapy dish brush in his hand, he might have looked frightening.

"Dad…" I tried to reason, but he cut me off.

"What do you want me to do, just wait around for a repeat? And what about Lily?"

"He would never leave Lily."

"And you? Do you think I could stand watching you go through that again?"

"It's not going to happen."

"That's what you think."

"Dad, this is really what it comes down to." I took a deep breath. "You're going to have to accept that Edward is an important part of my life now, and not just as Lily's dad, or you can't be a part of it."

He was silent for a moment, glaring at me.

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" He finally managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"I guess I am." I nodded calmly, though I felt anything but. I _really_ didn't want to do this, but I didn't have a choice. "Lily might not notice the way you act around Edward yet, but eventually, she will. And I don't want her to have to choose between her dad and her grandpa. I won't let you force her to take sides in your stupid vendetta."

He was quiet for a few minutes, the only sound coming from the television in the living room.

"If he hurts you again, I will not be responsible for my actions." He finally said.

"You don't have to worry about that."

I knew that I hadn't convinced him that Edward could be trusted, but Charlie knew that I wasn't kidding about my ultimatum.

"And I want you to be nicer to him, actually talk to him." I added.

"You're asking a lot." He grumbled.

"I know."

He looked at me through narrowed eyes for a moment.

"Fine."

And for the rest of the evening, he kept his word. What would happen in the future was impossible to say. Only time would tell.

**Edward**

"I'll help you in the kitchen, dad." Bella said with a meaningful look at Charlie when we had finished dinner.

I tried to hear what they were saying, but the water was running in the sink, and the volume on the TV was turned pretty high. Whatever it was that she told him, Charlie's attitude towards me had changed when they returned to the living room. At least on the surface; I could tell that he was still reluctant when he spoke to me.

"So, Edward, how's work?" He asked during a commercial. He didn't sound like he was actually interested in the answer, but at least he was making an effort. It was better than the silent, angry glaring.

"It's pretty good, actually." I replied. "I got a couple of great contracts just before the holidays, so I'll be busy for a while now."

"You write jingles for commercials, right?" Sue interjected.

"That's right." I confirmed.

"That sounds like fun." Seth said, joining the conversation.

"It's really just to pay the bills." I shrugged. "What I really want to do is play full time, or maybe compose, but right now, I wouldn't be able to survive on that."

"That's a shame." Sue noted.

"We should probably be getting back." Bella changed the subject, nodding at Lily, who was almost asleep on the couch.

"It is getting late." Charlie admitted reluctantly after a glance at the clock.

We all got to our feet, and I picked Lily up from the couch.

"Is it Christmas yet, daddy?" She mumbled sleepily, wrapping her little arms around my neck. I held her closer, the warmth from her body seeping through the fabric of my shirt.

"Not quite yet, baby. One more day to go."

"I want Christmas." Even though her voice was heavy with sleep, she managed to sound impatient.

We all laughed quietly, but she was already asleep again.

"Someone's eager for presents, I see." Charlie noted when he walked us out to the car.

"I made the mistake of not hiding them, so she's been begging to open them for over a week." I replied, and Charlie chuckled.

Maybe we would be able to get along eventually after all?

"Listen, why don't you come to dinner tomorrow night?" I suggested on a whim, closing the car door after having put Lily in her seat. Esme wouldn't mind four more people at the table; she loved cooking for guests.

"Are you sure? Isn't your parents' place crowded enough as it is?" He didn't sound like he was opposed to the idea, more like he was afraid of intruding. He had always gotten along fine with my parents, after all.

"The more the merrier, right? Esme would love it." I assured him.

That seemed to settle it for him.

"We would like that, thank you."

"Great. We'll see you tomorrow at six then."

The drive back to the house was a lot more pleasant than the drive in the opposite direction earlier that evening had been, now that I didn't have Charlie's disapproval hanging over me the same way as before. Granted, we would probably never be best friends, but I had a feeling he'd be less hostile towards me in the future.

"What did you say to your dad when you were in the kitchen, anyway?" I wondered after a while.

"I told him that he would just have to accept you and our relationship, because if he didn't, I wouldn't want him to be a part of our lives." Bella said, shrugging.

"Seriously?" I glanced at her in disbelief.

"I meant it." She replied. "He's my dad, and I love him, but I won't have him treat you like that, especially not around Lily. I don't want her in the middle of that."

"Thank you." I reached for her hand in the dark car.

"Don't mention it."

**Bella**

I was woken by Lily's footstep outside our bedroom door the next morning. I waited for her to come knocking on the door – we had locked it the previous night – but instead I heard her skip downstairs.

"Morning." Edward mumbled in my ear when he noticed I was awake.

"Good morning." I pushed myself up on one elbow and leaned down for a kiss.

"Lily went downstairs." He stated, pulling me down on top of him. "There are people who will feed her; she won't bother us for a while."

"I like the direction your mind's going." I breathed, pressing myself closer to him. His body immediately responded to my actions and he rolled us around, so he was on top, pinning me to the mattress.

My mind instantly stopped working when his lips trailed down my neck, to my collar bone, my chest, and lower. My head fell back against the pillows, my eyes closing as the wonderful feeling of his mouth on my skin overwhelmed me.

"Breakfast!" A cheery voice came from the other side of the door.

"And then there is Alice." I sighed. Edward groaned against my stomach.

"I guess we'd better get up, then." He pulled away, getting up from the bed. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I think some of us already are." He just glared at me, pulled on a pair of sweat pants and headed for the shower.

xxxxx

We spent the day playing with Lily in the snow. I suspected that Edward, Emmett and Jasper really only used her as an excuse to be able to act like kids, but they had fun. By the early afternoon, there were two large snowmen and one small igloo in the back yard, and we went inside for some much needed hot chocolate.

Esme had been thrilled that Edward had invited Charlie, Sue, Leah and Seth for dinner. She, Rosalie and Alice spent the main part of the afternoon in the kitchen, making all kinds of delicious Christmas dishes. The smell alone made my mouth water.

At six, the doorbell rang and Carlisle let the guests into the house. Sue was amazed; she had only seen the house from the outside before, and I offered to give her, Leah and Seth the grand tour while Carlisle entertained Charlie in the living room.

"I can't believe this place was empty for so long, it's incredible." Sue noted when we walked back down the stairs.

"Haven't you heard that it's haunted?" Seth said.

"Really, Seth, where did you get that?" Leah wondered dryly.

"Some kids in school." He shrugged. "They said that you could see a light moving through the house at night, that it's some woman who drowned herself in the river a hundred years ago."

"Well, I've spent the night here, and I can assure you that there's no ghost. A couple of werewolves in the forest, and some vampires in the attic, but definitely no ghost." I teased him.

"I didn't believe them." He huffed. "I'm just saying that some of the kids in town think that."

"They have a vivid imagination." Sue said as we walked down the last flight of stairs and into the living room.

"Who do?" Carlisle wondered from the couch, where he, Charlie and Emmett were watching a game of some sort.

"The kids in town think this place is haunted." I told him.

"I never told you that story?" Edward wondered, coming up behind me.

"What story?" I turned around, frowning at him.

"The one about The Grey Lady."

"There really is a ghost story?" How did I not know this? I had spent the night here dozens of times.

"Sure there is." He looked around the room.

"Lily's upstairs, Alice is braiding her hair." Carlisle told him.

"OK then." Edward started. "This house was built in 1901, by a wealthy shopkeeper from Seattle. He and his young wife came to live here, but she was very lonely, since the area wasn't very populated and her husband spent a lot of time in Seattle. One night, she jumped from a cliff into the river, and was never found. Her ghost is said to walk through the house, an oil lamp in her hand, waiting in vain for her husband to return."

"How do they know that she jumped in the river if her body was never found?" I objected. "She could have just taken off, sick of hanging around waiting for her no-good husband all the time."

"That's probably what happened." Carlisle agreed, chuckling. "But that wouldn't make a very good ghost story, would it?"

Even if I hadn't believed the story about The Grey Lady, I could tell that Seth had taken it seriously; he jumped at every sudden noise the whole evening. Leah of course took advantage of this, creeping up behind him more than once and scaring the crap out of him.

Esme had outdone herself in the kitchen; everything was delicious. When she served the desert, I was so full I didn't think I could eat another bite. But Esme's chocolate raspberry pie looked too mouthwatering to pass up.

"I think I might explode." Emmett complained from across the table, leaning back in his chair.

"Nobody forced you to eat that second piece of pie." Rosalie pointed out.

"But it looked so lonely sitting there all by itself on the plate." Emmett replied. "I was practically doing a good deed, finishing it off."

"It really was delicious, Esme, all of it." Sue complimented, and Esme beamed at her.

Charlie, Sue, Leah and Seth left at nine, and we started getting ready for Santa. Alice had helped Lily make chocolate chip cookies earlier, and these were put on a plate by the Christmas tree along with a glass of milk. We hung the stockings beneath the window next to the tree, since there was no fireplace.

When Lily was happy with the cookies and stockings, we took her upstairs for bed.

"I want to hear the Grinch!" She exclaimed as she crawled into bed.

Luckily, I had anticipated this and packed the book. I sat down on the edge of Lily's bed, Edward claiming the rocking chair in the corner.

"_Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot  
__But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not  
__The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season  
__Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason._"

Snow started falling outside the window as I read the story, perfecting the Christmas spirit. Normally, Lily would fall asleep pretty quickly when someone read to her, but this time she was still awake when I finished.

"Why didn't the Grinch like Christmas?" She mumbled, sleepily.

"Nobody knew, remember?" I reminded her, putting the book aside.

"I think I hear Santa." Lily was fighting sleep.

"Then you'd better go to sleep, or he might not leave you any presents." I mumbled in her ear and pulled the cover up to her chin. I kissed her forehead before getting up; she was already asleep.

We stopped for a moment in the door, listening to Lily's breaths as they became deeper and more even. Edward wrapped his arms around me and leaned his chin against the top of my head.

"Thank you." He mumbled quietly.

"For what?"

"For letting me be a part of this."

xxxxx

The next morning brought with it a not so pleasant wake up call. I got the wind knocked out of me as Lily landed on my stomach – I knew it had been a mistake to not lock the door.

"Mommy, wake up, it's Christmas!" She exclaimed, bouncing up and down. A moment later, she was lifted off me and I gave Edward a grateful smile.

"Why don't you go wake up the others, and we'll be there in just a minute?" He suggested, putting Lily down on the floor. She happily skipped out of the room.

"That wasn't very nice, telling her to wake up the others." I glanced at the clock. It was a little after seven, at least.

"Why should we be the only ones up this early?" He grumbled.

"Uh-oh. Somebody needs coffee." I gave him a quick kiss before I got up, pulling on a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved t-shirt. "I'll get that going while you take a shower; you look like you could use it. But don't take too long, Lily won't wait for you." I winked at him and left the room.

On the floor below, I was met by a very grumpy looking Emmett.

"That devil child of yours woke me up!" He complained.

"Sorry, Emmett, she's just excited." I apologized. "But you might as well get used to it, right?" He kept mumbling incoherently to himself as he trudged off down the stairs.

Rosalie came out of their room with Noah, and a moment later, Esme and Carlisle joined us too.

"She didn't get to Alice and Jasper?" I looked over at their closed door.

"I think they're already downstairs." Rosalie said.

We all went down into the living room, and did find Alice and Jasper already up and dressed, for some reason.

"Merry Christmas!" Alice exclaimed as we entered the room. She had a Father Christmas cap on, and had somehow managed to get Jasper to put one on as well. The smell of coffee, toast and waffles was coming from the living room table, and I realized that Alice and Jasper had gotten up early to make breakfast for the rest of us.

"Look at my stocking, mommy!" Lily cried out, pulling me along to where the stockings were hanging. Of course, hers was completely full.

"Wow, Santa left a lot of presents for you." I marveled with her.

"Can I open them, can I open them?" She jumped up and down, too excited to stand still.

I looked up and saw Edward coming down the stairs. I knew he wanted to see when she opened the presents.

"Go ahead, baby."

She happily ripped the paper off the first present she could reach. The rest of us sat down on the couch, eating breakfast while we watched her open the gifts. Her eyes widened in amazement at everything she got.

"I told you not to get her too much stuff." I scolded Edward, but only halfheartedly. "And she'll get even more at Charlie's later."

"Most of that's not from me." He replied sheepishly. I knew how many presents he'd gotten her. "Besides, we've got five years worth of Christmases and birthdays to make up for."

Since I understood how he felt, I didn't argue.

When Lily had finally opened all her presents, and was playing with her new toys, the rest of us started opening our gifts as well.

I saved Edward's present until last. It was beautifully wrapped, and I could tell before opening it that it was a book. I hadn't expected it to be _that_ book, though.

"You remembered." I mumbled, touching the letters on the leather covers spelling out _Pride and Prejudice_.

"Of course I did." He said, placing a kiss on my temple.

"I love it."

"I'm glad."

He insisted that he loved the CD with a compilation of jazz songs I had gotten for him, but it felt like nothing in comparison with my gift.

We went to Charlie's for lunch, and Edward went with us willingly. I was glad to see that he and Charlie might be able to get a long after all. Charlie didn't glare at Edward once, and even talked to him several times without me having to give him pointed looks.

Sue had cooked a wonderful lunch, and when we had finished eating we opened more presents. I was starting to wonder if all of Lily's new toys would even fit in the car.

**Edward**

The lunch at Charlie's went even better than the dinner the previous night had. He talked to me almost normally, and didn't glare at me once, which felt nice for a change. He had apparently taken Bella seriously.

Lily got even more Christmas presents, and we needed two bags to get them with us.

The afternoon was spent playing some of Lily's new games in the living room and building another snowman in the back yard. Carlisle took Lily down into the basement, and they found an abandoned hat and scarf that they put on him, since Lily didn't want him to be cold.

Lily crashed into bed by eight, completely exhausted after the long day, and Bella and I excused ourselves soon after to cuddle in bed.

"I've got something else for you." I said, reaching for the small box I had put in the bedside table.

"You already got me the most amazing present, I can't accept something else too!" She objected.

"Well, you really should have had this long ago, so stop arguing."

She took the flat, square velvet box and eyed it suspiciously.

"I got this for your seventeenth birthday, but then…" I shrugged, looking away for a moment. The memories were still a little painful.

"You kept it all these years?" She asked incredulously, her eyes wide.

"Of course I did. Will you open it already?"

She slowly opened the box, a gasp escaping her.

"It's so beautiful."

She pulled out the gold chain and handed it to me.

"Put it on?"

She lifted her hair up, and I clasped the necklace around her neck. When she turned around, I could see the heart shaped pendant glitter against the pale skin just beneath her collar bones.

"I love it." She said, giving me an intense kiss.

"I love you."

**AN: I hope I didn't mess anything up when it comes to Christmas traditions - I've never celebrated an American Christmas, so I wasn't sure what exactly applies...**


	29. 29 New Year, New Dreams

**AN: Midnight premiere of New Moon last night – completely beat today, but totally worth it! Anyway, here's the next chapter for you guys, hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Unfortunately.**

**29 – ****New Year, New Dreams**

**Edward **

We decided to stay in Forks for New Year's, on Esme's insistence. I wasn't very anxious to get back to Seattle, anyway, and neither was Bella. She didn't have to be at work until the fourth and I didn't have anything scheduled until the weekend after. Lily was, of course, thrilled. She loved spending time with her grandparents and aunts and uncles. No wonder, since they spoiled her rotten.

Esme was again planning a spectacular dinner party; Charlie, Sue and Seth were coming over for New Years, without Leah who had other plans this time. The day before New Year's Eve, I offered to go into town to do the grocery shopping for the dinner; though I loved my family dearly, the house was starting to get a little crowded.

"Mind if I tag along?" Bella wondered.

"Of course not." I looked out through the glass wall to where Lily and Alice were making snow angels in the back yard.

"Go, she won't even notice." Esme said, ushering us towards the door.

I had some difficulty focusing on the road with Bella's head against my shoulder and her hand on my knee, but we got to the Thriftway safely, without any incidents. I wondered if I would ever stop reacting this way to her touch, and I hoped not.

Bella checked things off the list Esme had sent with us while I pushed the cart through the aisles at the store. We were discussing what kind of ice cream to get when we were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Bella!"

We both turned to find Jessica Stanley standing a few feet away. There was a look of astonishment on her face, but it seemed fake somehow.

"Edward?" She tried to sound surprised at seeing me there, but failed at that, too. I came to the conclusion that she must have spotted us earlier.

"Hi, Jess." Bella greeted, a forced smile on her face and an edge to her voice. She was obviously not thrilled to see her former friend.

"What are you doing here?" Jessica wondered, seemingly curious.

"We're spending the holidays with Carlisle and Esme." Bella replied.

"Right, I heard that they had bought that old house again." Jessica nodded. "That's nice."

"Yeah." Bella put on another fake smile. "Good to see you, Jess." She pointedly turned back to the ice cream.

"And how's…" Jessica hesitated. "Lila?"

"Lily." I corrected her.

"That's right."

"She's fine, Jess." Bella snapped. It really wouldn't have been any clearer that she didn't want to talk to Jessica if she had come right out and said it, and still the woman would not take the hint.

"Great. And you still live in Seattle?" She was speaking to Bella, but her eyes flickered to me constantly.

What was her problem?

"Yeah."

"That's nice. I moved back here after graduation last year, dad wanted help with the store."

"That sounds wonderful, Jess." Bella nudged me. "We're actually in a bit of a hurry, so if you'll excuse us."

"Sure. It was great seeing both of you again." She smiled widely and fluttered her eyelashes at me, and I suddenly realized what she was doing.

"Come on, babe." I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist and gave her a kiss. I could see Jessica frown. "Bye, Jess. It was so nice to see you again." Heavy on the sarcasm – I hoped she picked up on _that_.

"Bye." She called after us. "We'll have to get together soon, catch up!"

We ignored her.

"Well, that was interesting." I commented as we loaded the groceries into the trunk of the car fifteen minutes later.

"That was the first time that she's actually talked to me since before Christmas senior year." Bella noted.

"You weren't friends the last semester?" I asked, frowning. I had assumed that they had lost touch when Jessica had left for college.

"Are you kidding?" Bella huffed. "Hanging out with me would have ruined her precious reputation."

"Oh." I finally connected the dots. "I'm sorry."

We got in the car and left the parking lot.

"I was glad to be rid of her, really." Bella said after a moment, shrugging. "She was always a little phony, I never knew if she was actually my friend or if it was just the attention that she was after."

"Seems like she's still keeping that up."

"I know. I mean, I've passed her in the street or the store every now and then, over the years. She's never as much as said hi. But now, all of a sudden, she's all smiles again. I blame you." She mock glared at me.

"I am very sorry."

"Are you kidding? The way you shut her down, that was priceless." She giggled. "Did you see her face?"

"I was kind of hoping you hadn't noticed that." I mumbled.

"I can handle girls hitting on you." She assured me. "As long as I'm the one you go home to at the end of the day."

"Always."

xxxxx

New Year's Eve was a pretty quiet event. We had dinner, played some games and watched Dick Clark on TV. I managed to steal a kiss at midnight, and then we took Lily outside to watch the fireworks that people were letting off in town. The sky was surprisingly free of clouds, and the bright colors lit up the darkness and the twinkling stars above us. It reminded me of the Fourth of July celebrations the last summer we spent in Forks, when we had gone to Tillicum Park to watch the fireworks. I smiled as I reminisced; walking down memory lane was not painful now that I had Bella in my life again.

It took a while to calm Lily down after Charlie, Sue and Seth had left, but eventually she fell asleep. Bella and I said goodnight to the others and headed upstairs, tucking Lily in before retreating to our room.

"Happy New Year." Bella mumbled as she climbed into the bed next to me.

"Happy New Year." I replied, pulling her in for a kiss.

"Are you going to make any New Years resolutions?" She wondered, settling down on the bed with her head on my shoulder, pulling the covers up over us.

"Hmm, let me think." I frowned for a moment. "How about if I promise to spend this year making you as happy as I possibly can? Does that sound good?"

"I like that." She reached up for another kiss and I happily obliged. "I even think I can make the same promise in return, and I never make New Years resolutions."

I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, and groaned when she shifted so she was lying on top of me. Her lips left mine, and she looked down on me, breathing heavily.

"Any New Years wishes?" She asked in a husky voice.

"I've got everything I could ever wish for."

**Bella**

We returned to Seattle the Sunday after New Year's, and though it was nice to get back to the buzzing city, I found myself missing Forks, which was something that I never would have thought I would. With the exception of the run-in with Jessica in the grocery store, the trip had been a nice breather from every-day life.

Lily went back to school, as excited as ever, and I started working again. I still loved my job, but found that the idea of Edward waiting in my apartment – _our_ apartment – all day distracted me something awful. I really had to get in control of my raging hormones – I wasn't sixteen anymore, I was a grown woman for Christ's sake. Unsurprisingly, that thought didn't help at all.

I cherished our nights together, even the ones when we did nothing but sleep, curled up close together under the covers. His presence soothed me, and I had never slept as well as I did with him next to me in the bed.

Immediately after our return to Seattle, I started planning for the third Christmas celebration that would take place the following weekend.

"I'm not working Saturday, but I can ask Joe if I can play for a couple of hours anyway." Edward said that Friday. "I don't want to intrude on your tradition."

"What do you mean 'intrude'?" I questioned. "You're a part of our traditions now, whether you like it or not."

"Are you sure?"

I didn't like the lack of confidence in his eyes. When would he get it through his thick head that he was a part of our lives now? A part of _every_ area of our lives.

"Hey." I took his face between my hands and looked him deep in the eyes. "If this is going to work, you're going to have to get over the insecurity that I would ever not want you to be a part of anything in my life, OK?"

"OK." He nodded, and I gave him a quick kiss.

"Now come on. You're in charge of dinner, because I have to run to the store to get a few last minute things for tomorrow." We had slipped into a comfortable routine during the past week, alternating the different household chores without really discussing it. If he cooked, I would take care of the dishes, and the other way around.

"I'll get right on that."

"Lily." I called in the direction of her room. "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?"

"I'm playing, mommy." She called back.

"Silly me." I said, smiling. "To think that a trip to the store would be more interesting than playing."

"Very thoughtless of you." Edward agreed.

"Back in a bit." I stood on my tiptoes to give him a kiss before leaving the apartment.

I was a little anxious about the following day. Jake seemed to be fine with Edward and me being back together, but the two hadn't actually met yet. I knew that if they just gave it a chance, they would get along great. I also knew that Edward was a little worried about mine and Jacob's relationship, even though I had assured him more than once that there had never been any romantic feelings between us. And I had no doubt that Jake would step in and give Edward a piece of his mind if he felt it necessary. Not that it would be.

When Angela had called earlier in the week to make the final plans about our Christmas celebration, I had realized that she had talked to Alice.

"_You sneaky little fox!"_ She had exclaimed when I answered the phone.

"I assure you that I have no idea what you're talking about." I had replied in the most innocent voice I could pull off, while trying to suppress a laugh.

"_Oh, don't give me that! Alice told me__ everything."_

"Of course she did. I should have known."

"_Seriously, I'm so happy for you, but tricking us like that wasn't nice."_

"You're not so innocent yourself, Miss Manipulator." I had pointed out.

"_I guess."_ She had agreed. _"But we acted in your best interests."_

"I know, Ang, and thanks." I had said sincerely.

"_Just don't screw this up, and we'll call it even."_

"I have no plan to." I had assured her, looking over at Edward and Lily playing on the floor in the living room.

I definitely had no intention to screw anything up.

xxxxx

"Greetings from the North Pole!" Jacob exclaimed as I opened the door to let him in the next day, and I laughed. He had on a fake beard and a Father Christmas cap that had blinking stars on it.

"Uncle Jacob!" Lily came rushing into the hall.

"Hey there, shrimp." Jacob put down the bags he was carrying to pick her up and throw her into the air, earning a shriek of laughter. "Have you been a good girl this year? Eaten all your spinach and stuff?"

"I already got tons of presents!" She happily informed him.

"Oh, well, then I guess you don't really need any more." He put her down and picked up the bags again. "I'll just give these back to Santa."

"No!" Lily protested.

"Are you sure? Cause I can just…" Lily effectively ended the discussion by pulling Jacob by the t-shirt into the living room. "Alrighty then."

I laughed, following them into the room.

Jacob surrendered the bags with presents to Lily, who started organizing them next to the ones who were already under the tree. Our Christmas celebration was mainly for Lily's sake, but we got each other gifts too.

"Hey, man, nice to finally meet you." Jacob extended a hand to Edward, who shook it.

"I've heard a lot about you." Edward replied, and Jacob chuckled.

"I can say the same." He glanced over at Lily. "You should have heard her last time we were at the zoo; my daddy did this, my daddy did that."

"Really?" Edward seemed happy to hear that.

"Sure, all the time." Jacob looked around the room. "Ben and Ang aren't here yet?" He wondered.

"They're picking up the food on the way, but they should be here any minute." I glanced at the clock, and as if they had heard me, there was a knock on the door. "Speak of the devil…"

"And the devil does appear." Jacob finished.

I let them in, and followed Angela into the kitchen to get plates and cutlery for the food. Ben brought their bags with presents into the living room, leaving the food preparations to us women. He had been getting along well with Edward in the past couple of months, even better than I had hoped for, and now I could hear them talking through the open door.

"How was Mount Ripley?" I asked Angela.

"Snowy and cold, pretty much like here. How was Forks? I want details." She told me quietly, in a suggestive voice, and I immediately blushed. "Guess I don't need any details, your face says it all."

I glared at her.

"We ran into Jessica at Thriftway." I told her.

"Oh, the joy." Sarcasm was practically dripping from her voice.

"She actually talked to me." I frowned. "Well, she pretended to talk to me, but she was really hitting on Edward."

"She did not!" Angela shook her head in disbelief. "Not that I would put much past her, but still!"

"I know, I couldn't believe it myself." I frowned at the memory.

"She's got some nerve." Angela snickered. "Not that I blame her, I mean, look at him." She leaned out into the hallway and glanced into the living room.

"Ang!"

"I'm just saying." She giggled.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't." I glared at her, grabbed the plates and headed into the living room. She followed me, still giggling.

"What's so funny?" Ben wondered, and I shot Angela a warning look.

"Oh, nothing, we were just talking about old friends." Angela replied, winking at me.

The evening passed quickly in a blur of food, presents and laughter. Before I knew it, it was nine o'clock and Lily was falling asleep in Edward's lap.

"I'll go put her down." He said, picking her up. She didn't wake up, only shifted a little in her sleep as he carried her into her room.

"S'mores time." Angela announced, and she and Ben headed into the kitchen.

"Get some popcorn, too." Jacob called after them.

"S'mores and popcorn?" Edward questioned, coming back into the living room.

"It's time for _A Charlie Brown Christmas_." I told him.

"Of course." He said sarcastically. "I don't know why I didn't make the connection."

"It's a part of our Christmas tradition." I explained. "Watching _Charlie Brown_ and eating s'mores. Jacob added the popcorn just now."

"Isn't _Charlie Brown_ a cartoon?" Edward wondered.

"Do not mock _Charlie Brown_!" Jacob exclaimed, seemingly appalled. "That's practically the eighth deadly sin or something!"

"OK, sorry." Edward frowned, confused.

"He's kidding." I assured him, elbowing Jacob in the ribs. "Apologize!" I hissed to him under my breath.

"Ow! Yeah, sorry man, just kidding." Jacob rubbed his ribs. "Your elbows are pointy!"

"That was the point!" I replied, and Jacob started laughing.

"Point!"

I couldn't help but join in on the laughter.

"Do I need to separate you two?" Angela asked, coming into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands. "S'mores are coming right up."

We waited until Ben brought the s'mores to the table and then started the movie. Jacob, as always, said all the lines in his silly voice, and within fifteen minutes, we were all laughing so hard we could barely breathe.

**Edward**

In the middle of January, I found an interesting property in the West Woodland area. I called the realtor and set up a time for us to look at it.

"This is a nice neighborhood." Bella noted as I turned onto the street. It was lined with large trees and the houses were all well kept. The sidewalks were cleared of snow, and there were still Christmas decorations – Santas, reindeers, sleighs – in most yards, despite the fact that it was already the middle of January.

"I think this is it." I double checked the number, and parked at the curb.

"That's a house." Bella pointed out.

"Very perceptive of you." I got a poke in the ribs for that one.

"I thought we were looking at an apartment." She said accusingly.

"I said that we were looking at a bigger _place_, not necessarily an apartment." I got out of the car and went around to open the passenger door for her.

"But we can't afford a house." She objected, slamming the door shut with a little more force than necessary.

"Yes, we can." I told her. "Look, I know that we haven't actually talked about money, but I make more than enough, and I've got the money my parents left me. We're fine."

"Really?" She looked doubtful.

"Yes, really." I took her hand and pulled her along towards the house. "Don't you want Lily to get to have a back yard, and a swing, and everything else that comes with a house?"

"Of course I do." She replied. "I just haven't considered the possibility."

Because she couldn't afford it. But I could.

"Look, before you even get started on the whole 'it's your money' thing, I'm doing this for us, and for Lily. For our future. OK?" I was expecting her to argue.

"I wasn't going to say that." She protested, to my surprise. "I just need some time to get used to the idea that you're rich."

"I wouldn't say rich. Well, not very rich, at least."

"And exactly how rich is not very rich?" She demanded, but I just laughed and knocked on the door.

"Hello there, welcome." A plump man in his fifties opened the door. "You must be the Cullens."

"That's right." I said, and Bella didn't correct him.

"I'm Peter Hobart, the realtor. Come on in."

We walked around the house, Mr. Hobart describing every room in detail. The house was pretty large; a living room, study, kitchen and dining room on the bottom floor, and five bedrooms upstairs. Too big for right now, but there was no harm in planning for the future, right?

We ended up in the back yard after an hour.

"I'll leave you alone to talk for a moment." Mr. Hobart said, going inside to give us some privacy.

There was a large porch on the back of the house, and plenty of room for a swing set on the lawn. I could imagine Lily playing in the back yard, while Bella lounged on a porch swing and I grilled some hamburgers on a barbecue by the white, picket fence. It was perfect.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I love it." Bella replied, looking up at the house. "It's perfect."

"My thought exactly." I agreed. "Shall I tell him we'll take it, then?"

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"We're getting a house." She shook her head. "It all feels a little surreal."

"It'll sink in soon enough." I told her, chuckling.

We signed the papers the next day, and would be able to move into the house in April.

**Bella**

Renée and Phil came to visit during the Presidents' Day weekend. Even if Renée had said that she supported my decision to let Edward be a part of Lily's life, she had been about as suspicious as Charlie when I had told her that we had gotten back together. So when she gave him a big hug at the airport, I was surprised to say the least. I called her on it when we were alone in the kitchen later that day.

"I just decided that I have to trust you, sweetie." She told me. "And besides, a blind man can see how madly in love with you that boy is."

I blushed at that, and she laughed.

We took them over to see our house to be, and they both loved it. Lily had been over the moon when we told her that we were moving to a house with an actual back yard.

The weekend passed quickly, and before we knew it, we were back at the airport, saying tearful goodbyes. We promised to visit soon, and on the way home, Edward suggested that Lily and I take some extra time off after we moved into the house in April. We would probably need a vacation after that, so I thought it was a good idea.

The move actually went smoother than I had thought. Edward, Jasper, Ben and Jacob handled all the furniture, and Angela, Alice and I carried boxes. We had let Lily pick the things from both her rooms that she wanted to take with her to the new house, and though her room might be a little cluttered, she got to bring all the things that she wanted.

We sold all of Edward' furniture, except, of course, the piano, which was given a place of honor in our new living room.

We managed to move everything in one day, and though there were boxes on every possible surface, it felt good to be able to sleep in our very own house. When we had put Lily to bed in her new room, we opened the patio doors to the back yard to let some air in and Edward played for me.

As the first notes of 'my' song drifted from the instrument, I knew that this was the first day of the rest of our lives.

xxxxx

We spent two more days unpacking and getting settled in our new home, and then we flew down to Jacksonville to spend a week in the sun. Renée was thrilled to have us there, and though the house was definitely crowded, she refused to let us sleep at a hotel.

Both Renée and Phil had to work while we were there, so Edward, Lily and I would spend the day by the pool in the back yard, at the beach, or strolling around the streets of Jacksonville. In the evenings, we would barbecue on the patio or order take-out. It was a wonderful – and necessary – vacation.

I was sad to leave the sun when the plane took off from JAX, but also looking forward to be going home. I knew we would be returning to Florida soon enough.

**Edward**

Lily had a birthday party for her friends on her actual birthday, and then we celebrated with the family on Memorial Day weekend, when Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie flew in from New York. Charlie, Sue and Seth came down from Forks, and with Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben and Jacob joining the party, the back yard became rather crowded.

We used our new barbecue for the first time, and made hamburgers and hot dogs. Bella had ordered a special cake, in the shape of Winnie the Pooh, from a local bakery.

Just like at Christmas, I hadn't been able to stick to Bella's orders to not buy Lily too many presents. Neither had Carlisle or Esme, as it turned out. She got a scooter, a bike, a trampoline that would take up most of the lawn that wasn't already occupied by the swing set, and tons of toys, movies, games and books.

"She's going to get spoiled." Bella complained halfheartedly when we went inside to get the cake.

"I don't actually think that's a problem, since Carlisle and Esme will keep spoiling her for years." I noted, and she laughed.

"You're probably right about that."

She held up the cake, and I lit the seven candles on it – six for Lily's age and one to grow on. When we came back into the garden, everyone started singing Happy Birthday.

"Make a whish baby." Bella said, putting the cake down on the table.

Lily scrunched her face up, thinking for a moment. Then she blew with all her might and the seven candles went out. Everybody clapped and cheered.

As the party started winding down, I found myself on the swing set with Emmett.

"I can't believe he'll be one next month." Emmett noted, watching Noah, who was toddling about the lawn, Rosalie following closely behind in case he lost his balance. "It seems like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital."

"Time flies, bro." I stated, and he nodded solemnly.

"It sure does."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Listen." Emmett said quietly. "Rose has gotten a transfer to the Seattle office at work, so we'll be relocating here by the end of the summer. Don't tell mom though, I want it to be a surprise. Dad knows, and he's already managed to get his job in Forks back. They'll move into the old house permanently in July."

"That's great, Emm." Finally the whole family would be on the same side of the country again.

"Yeah." Emmett nodded. "We're actually looking at a place a couple of blocks from here tomorrow."

"What are you going to do for work?" I asked, and he shrugged, smiling.

"They always need football coaches at the schools, right?"

xxxxx

"Please don't be mad." Bella greeted me when I got home from playing at the club one night in June.

"Why would I be mad?" I asked suspiciously. She looked extremely guilty.

"Well, a couple of weeks ago, I might have taken the CD with your music and I might have sent it to a guy working for a film company in town." She admitted, eyes glued to the floor.

"You what?" I stared at her in disbelief. I wasn't angry, but surprised.

"I'm sorry!" She looked pleadingly at me. "It's just, you talk about wanting to compose, and not just write jingles and play at that club, and I saw this ad in the paper looking for composers for some low budget movie, and I thought, hey, it couldn't hurt, right? You have to start somewhere. And it's not like someone important's just going to walk into the club and discover you." She had to pause to catch her breath, and I hurried to reassure her.

"I'm not mad."

"Oh, thank God." She let out a sigh of relief.

"Why are you telling me this now, anyway?"

"Because you got a letter from the company today."

"What did it say?"

"I haven't opened it." She held out a manila envelope for me.

I took the letter and quickly ripped it open, pulling a single, folded piece of paper from the envelope.

"Dear Mr. Cullen, we are very impressed with your music, and would like to set up a meeting with you to discuss your involvement in..."

I didn't have a chance to read the rest, because Bella threw her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately.

"I knew you could do it!" She exclaimed when she pulled away a moment later.

"It's all thanks to you." I replied. "For believing in me."

"I know it's just a small movie, and they probably won't pay you very much, but it's a way in, right?" Her eyes were sparkling with excitement. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." I wrapped her in my arms, overwhelmed with love and gratitude. "For everything."

"Come on." She pulled back, taking my hand. "Lily's been asleep for hours, I know the perfect way to celebrate."

As she led me up the stairs to our bedroom, I contemplated the changes that had occurred in my life in the last year. I had gone from having noting – a boring job, an unwelcoming apartment, the occasional date with friends of my sisters – to having absolutely everything – a wonderful girlfriend, an amazing daughter, a home I actually couldn't wait to go home to, and now the opportunity of a lifetime to do the exact thing I had always wanted to do.

Life really couldn't get much better than this.

**AN: Well, guys, this is it. We have come to the end of the road. Last c****hapter. I do have an idea for an epilogue, though. You'll have to let me know if you're interested…**


	30. Epilogue A Faityrale Ending

**AN: Since ****there were requests for an epilogue in the reviews, here it is. I hope you like it. I would also like to take the opportunity to thank you all, my faithful readers, for sticking with me through this story – it has been an amazing journey! And a very, very special thanks to those of you who have taken the time out to also tell me what you think. Every time that I've logged onto my hotmail account and had a "Review alert" e-mail waiting it has made my day, so thank you!! You are all amazing!**

**Disclaimer: For the last time; I don't own them!**

**Epilogue**

**A Fairytale Ending**

_Two years later_

I woke up early, and after making sure that Edward was still sound asleep, snuck into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

As I opened the laundry bag to dig out the box I had buried there the previous day, a ray of sunlight caught in the two rings on my left hand. As always, the sight of the engagement ring and the wedding band made me smile.

Edward had proposed on New Years Eve a year and a half earlier, and the previous summer, we had gotten married. It had been a relatively small ceremony, at the beach in La Push on an unusually sunny day, with only our family and closest friends present.

We hadn't had a honeymoon in the traditional sense; just the two of us somewhere romantic. Instead, we'd taken Lily to Disney World – a trip she still talked about, almost a year later. Alice and Jasper had gone with us, so Edward and I had gotten some alone time at least…

I shrugged off the pleasant memories and returned to the present, my fingers closing around a paper box under the pile of clothes in the laundry basket.

I read the instructions carefully; even if I was pretty sure I remembered what I was suppose to do, I didn't want to mess anything up.

I had suspected that something was up for almost a week, and when my little 'friend' had failed to make an appearance a few days earlier, I had been certain I was right. But I had still waited until today to confirm – or disprove – my intuition.

We had started discussing having another child a couple of months ago, and I had stopped taking my birth control. I could see that Edward was very disappointed when nothing happened the first month, or the month after that, even though I had tried to tell him that it would probably take some time before my body adjusted to the change. That was one reason why I was now taking a pregnancy test at five thirty in the morning, locked in our bathroom. I didn't want him to be even more disappointed if it turned out to be nothing.

The other reason was that today was a special day.

I waited impatiently as the time ticked by, looking at my watch so often it seemed like it was hardly passing at all. But finally, the two minutes were up, and I anxiously peeked in the tiny window. A smile spread on my face when I saw the little plus sign.

Quickly, I put the test back in the box and tiptoed downstairs, where I got some gift-wrap and made a present of it. Then I quietly went back upstairs, and crawled into bed to wait. I was too anxious to actually go back to sleep, so I just lay there, watching Edward as he slept. I never got tired of staring at his face – even after all this time, he took my breath away.

At half past seven, I was getting impatient, and when I heard Lily's door open and then her footsteps down the stairs half an hour later, I decided that it was time for Edward to wake up.

I snuggled in closer, wrapping an arm around him and running my lips along the edge of his jaw. The stubble tickled, and I giggled a little. I felt him shift next to me.

"Morning." I mumbled in his ear. "Happy birthday."

"Mmm, and a happy birthday it is." He murmured back, finding my lips for a kiss. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me even closer, and it was very, _very_ tempting to let him continue... But I was on a mission.

"I have a present for you." I said, pulling away a little.

"I like this present." He replied, reaching for me again. I slipped out of his grasp and grabbed the box from my bedside table.

"Happy birthday."

He took the gift, sighed, and ripped the paper off. His eyes widened when he took in the box in his hand.

"What's this?"

"Well, you might want to look inside."

He opened the box and pulled the plastic stick out.

"Does that… is it positive?" He looked up at me, and I nodded. "We're having a baby?"

"That is usually the end result, yes."

I barely had time to react before he had pulled me into a bone crushing hug, his face buried against my hair.

"Best birthday ever."

**The End**


	31. Author's Note

**AN: Hi guys! This is not an update – I'm sorry if I made you think that. This story is still finished. The reason I'm posting this is to let you know that I have just posted the first chapter of a story called "For Better or Worse" which is a sequel to "Hearts in Pain". I know, I wasn't planning on doing that, but there you go – I really hope you like it!**


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